As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
So it looks like the USA has elected a mad orange rapist convicted of 34 felonies who could yet be in jail by the time of his inauguration. (He would remain President even if that happened, which would be really funny.) And we can’t even blame them for it, because the alternative they were offered was, remarkably and stupendously, worse.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Southernbystander on The Interesting Words Round: “‘Police Scotland have been advised that the information provided had already been investigated as part of our inquiries and no…” Jun 7, 21:55
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: “Nope, I’m not wrong. Let me break it down for you: At C-24: Salvo could attend, but Scotland could not…” Jun 7, 21:40
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “Greatest living half Scot, Dan. Did he kick aff the shit in the ME? I’ve been around over half a…” Jun 7, 21:38
Dan on In pursuit of clarity: “Your wallet is constantly being plundered ya neep heid that was always wanting to be shown the money. Howz the…” Jun 7, 20:45
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “Sorry Northcode, you are wrong. Here is a link to the statement given by our very own Alf Baird on…” Jun 7, 20:21
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “I’ll presume to speak for Aidan, Northy. You’re every bit as clever as an alert reader would expect someone self-identifying…” Jun 7, 20:18
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: “You said at 10:24 am today: “…promoted the Salvo/Liberate fundraiser which also has a case to answer for embezzlement…” And…” Jun 7, 19:53
Dan on The Massive Face Of Truth: “From back when I had an alert reader badge before it blew off my jacket on a run with the…” Jun 7, 19:46
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “Some Scots believe what happened in Scottish care homes during Covid was murder. And yes, “those people” did get away…” Jun 7, 19:38
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: ““Throwing such serious allegations about without proof is piss poor behaviour” Where is the best place to get synthetic outrage…” Jun 7, 19:27
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “Well done Northcode, that was a spirited attempt at a defence but one that unfortunately doesn’t quite align to the…” Jun 7, 18:57
BigJay on The Massive Face Of Truth: “There was a bit of a kerfuffle back in 2023 regarding a fragrant, former female ‘aide’ to Humza UselessAF who…” Jun 7, 18:51
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: “I’ve just realised what, I think, you have presented here as ‘evidence’ of Salvo/Liberate embezzlement… and I laugh in the…” Jun 7, 18:18
Dan on In pursuit of clarity: “@AiDan If you’re so sure there has been an act of embezzlement committed, and it bothers you so much; Then…” Jun 7, 17:52
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “lol, no it doesn’t. What might persuade someone is explaining how the circumstances I have set out above do not…” Jun 7, 17:26
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: ““…are you expecting that to persuade anyone?” Yes… I am and it does. You know, you go on fair bit…” Jun 7, 17:04
Andy Wiltshire on The Massive Face Of Truth: “I trust the Rev is working feverishly on pieces about (a) cash for seats, and (b) the involvement of HMRC…” Jun 7, 16:53
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “Careful, Aidan! You’re trampling all over the green cheese with your muckle tackity boots. Green cheese is all some of…” Jun 7, 16:32
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: ““I’m not going to engage with the facts you’ve laid out and therefore because I’m ignoring the evidence I win…” Jun 7, 16:30
Hatey McHateface on In pursuit of clarity: “New Caledonia, eh? A name to conjure with. Second only to Nova Scotia as a reminder of the Scots’ long,…” Jun 7, 16:20
Northcode on In pursuit of clarity: “Prove Salvo/Liberate are guilty of embezzlement. You can’t because you don’t have any proof. And why don’t you have any…” Jun 7, 16:17
100%Yes on The Massive Face Of Truth: “More SNP dirty secrets, cash for seats, this is just the start.” Jun 7, 16:16
Anne on The Massive Face Of Truth: “The day these corrupt and greedy individuals get their come uppence will be a great day .If only Alex were…” Jun 7, 15:58
Aidan on In pursuit of clarity: “Is it true or not true that the chair of C-24 issued the following statement:no petition … could be accepted…” Jun 7, 15:57
Mark Beggan on The Massive Face Of Truth: “Cosa Nostra. We’ll make Scotland an offer they can’t refuse. If anyone objects then they will be swimming with the…” Jun 7, 15:54
Skip_NC on The Massive Face Of Truth: “This is a question that absolutely must be answered. I’m surprised a certain Scot isn’t popping with excitement at yet…” Jun 7, 15:49
Captain Caveman on In pursuit of clarity: “@Xaracen How’s “Project Hee Haw” going at the UN? You’ve been quiet for a good while; I can’t imagine why.…” Jun 7, 15:47