More than a quarter of its Scottish candidates for the forthcoming UK general election actually already hold elected office – nine of them as councillors, four as MSPs, one as an MEP and of course the sole defending member, David Mundell.
(Several of the councillors have only been in their jobs for a matter of a few days and are already looking to scurry off to London for new ones.)
As for the rest, though – and following the discovery that at least two of its council candidates earlier this month had no idea that they were standing – the party’s clearly been doing some more hasty press-ganging.
To be honest we didn’t pay it a lot of heed, assuming that “Scottish fishing industry leaders” just meant Bertie Armstrong again – a longstanding ultra-staunch Unionist and Leave supporter with a track record as a reliable anti-independence rentaquote – and nothing in the coverage led us to believe otherwise.
But then we saw a picture:
Mr Armstrong is the white-haired and bearded chap standing immediately to the right of Davidson in the photo, with his hand on the top corner of her pledge. But who’s the fellow immediately to the left of her?
She’s currently contesting Edinburgh West, which the party has some credible hopes of winning, having held the seat for almost 20 years prior to 2015. And it seems that her former employer has decided to try to give her a helping hand.
And, y’know, they’re really not allowed to do that.
Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Skip_NC on Only An Excuse: “It should not take thirty seconds to issue and record a caution in professional football. As you go further down…” May 22, 01:52
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Only An Excuse: “I’m going to need all of that in English.” May 22, 00:56
Confused on Only An Excuse: “the authorities have made their statement, there is nothing in it. The ref decides, he doesn’t need to blow his…” May 21, 22:39
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “@sarah: thanks for that. It’s back to brassicas then……” May 21, 22:31
Andy Wiltshire on Only An Excuse: “I had no idea there were that many people in MI6.” May 21, 22:12
Bill Scullion on Only An Excuse: “The SFA simply don’t want to take a chance that Hearts come back to them with the same arguments as…” May 21, 21:54
Southernbystander on The Land Of No Laws: “Geri, I daresay this is part of the wider conversation above and I did not read all of it. I…” May 21, 21:14
sarah on Off-topic: “That’s a good idea about the hens, Dan – several neighbours have them. Yes, we have corrugated iron sheets to…” May 21, 21:13
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: ““…the ‘trans’ sadism and madness needs to be removed before independence, Alf…” Not so, that’s retrospective determinism — treating the…” May 21, 21:09
Geri on Only An Excuse: “Do you remember who it was that brought that shit to Scotland? They should be sued for all the money…” May 21, 20:50
Dan on Off-topic: “I reckon snails could easily travel a hunner yards back to a succulent cabbage leaf. Best to get some chickens…” May 21, 20:46
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Dan, LOL! Lorncal “Personally, I have no faith in the UN. It is filled to the gunnels with former colonized…” May 21, 20:44
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: ““Scotland’s malady is tribalism” The colonizer will always manipulate and ‘exploit tribal rivalries’ (Fanon), we know this from postcolonial theory.…” May 21, 20:42
agentx on Only An Excuse: ““21 May 2026, 18:37 BST Single-sex spaces – such as changing rooms and toilets – must be used on the…” May 21, 20:28
Scot Finlayson on Only An Excuse: “4 bookings after 90 mins, refs ,generally, put on 30 seconds per booking, so another 2 minutes should have been…” May 21, 20:27
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Surely a blinkered attitude if you stand to make a killing by betting on how long he will last as…” May 21, 20:27
George Ferguson on Only An Excuse: “Well that was the 5 days up and there we have it, nothing to see here move on. The reputational…” May 21, 20:19
sarah on Off-topic: “If your wee ones want to see more than one large snail, I recommend leaving one or more kale [or…” May 21, 20:18
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Arse over tit, Bilbo. The policies over the past 4+ years were sane and rational. It’s the buying of diesel…” May 21, 20:17
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Another one that doesn’t understand “Scroll on. Piss off” Leave her alone eh? Yer one post today had to be…” May 21, 20:16
Lorncal on The Queer Parliament: “Stuart: that was not my point. It will only come back to reality when the pressures start to show the…” May 21, 20:14
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Hey Alf. Did you know that Northy posts in praise of you as well? He also writes that the only…” May 21, 20:10
Paul Eden on Only An Excuse: “Outrageous, not fair, biased. Who knew?” May 21, 20:09
Bilbo on The Queer Parliament: “O/T. I see that the UK is lifting sanctions and buying oil produced by R via India. They do this…” May 21, 19:56
GM on The Queer Parliament: “It’s a toss up between her and Ivan McKee who is the best minister amongst them. I see Somerville still…” May 21, 19:56
Calum on Only An Excuse: “What’s even more depressing is, I have a couple of mates who are most def not Celtic fans who have…” May 21, 19:53
Bilbo on The Queer Parliament: “I have no interest in English politics but it’s obvious Burnham is only seen a popular candidate to become PM…” May 21, 19:50
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Never wis ony union, Alf? If only I had £1 for every time you’ve sat stumm after some thicko on…” May 21, 19:47
sarah on Off-topic: “Hi Tinto and Marie, I agree that it is all very depressing and worrying. The crookedness, incompetence, and obsession with…” May 21, 19:44
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Queer Parliament: “ROYAL COLLEGE OF NURSING SLAMMED FOR FLYING ‘TRANS PRIDE’ FLAG The Royal College of Nursing has come under fire for…” May 21, 19:43