Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
Earlier this morning an alert reader directed us to an article in the Daily Express which seemed to make an eye-catchingly remarkable claim. It turned out to be one actually made by Ruth Davidson on Saturday (which had already been reported in the Express that day), when she appeared on Iain Dale’s radio show on LBC.
A 27% swing? From the SNP to the Tories? Putting the Tories AHEAD in the polls? That would be such a stupendously Earth-shattering development in Scottish politics that you’d think the media would have made more of it than a couple of mentions in an embarrassing low-circulation comic like the Express.
Scottish schoolchildren start their exams today. We wish them good luck, because if any of them have taken their lead in language skills from the nation’s media they’re going to be in a lot of trouble.
For 10% of extra course credit, let’s find out why.
We had to rub our eyes when we got up this morning, because we thought we must have opened the wrong issue of the Times tablet app by mistake – the lead Scotland story seemed to be a reprint of a piece from the previous day’s Sunday Times.
We greatly enjoyed Any Questions on Radio 4 this week. Well chaired by Jonathan Dimbleby, it was a mostly grown-up and adult discussion of issues around nationalism and independence, perhaps assisted by the fact that – we gather – Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale was unable to take part and was replaced as a Labour representative by Lord Falconer, who offered some considered and intelligent views.
The only slight wasp in the ointment was Tory list MSP Adam Tomkins, who delivered his usual boorish, patrician and arrogant debating style, which was frequently met with boos, jeers and catcalls from a feisty Blantyre audience. But he did come out with one rather unexpected and off-message policy position.
This appears to be a genuine question from a YouGov poll going out to selected areas of the country today. We’ve had a couple of people confirm it to us who we have no reason to disbelieve. (It also asked this.)
The particular political arrangement it’s testing the waters of public opinion on there is fascist dictatorship. God help us all.
Skip_NC on Only An Excuse: “Does anyone who is not confused believe the SFA’s warblings since the weekend? Seriously, they don’t come close to reality.…” May 22, 02:06
Skip_NC on Only An Excuse: “It should not take thirty seconds to issue and record a caution in professional football. As you go further down…” May 22, 01:52
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Only An Excuse: “I’m going to need all of that in English.” May 22, 00:56
Confused on Only An Excuse: “the authorities have made their statement, there is nothing in it. The ref decides, he doesn’t need to blow his…” May 21, 22:39
Tinto Chiel on Off-topic: “@sarah: thanks for that. It’s back to brassicas then……” May 21, 22:31
Andy Wiltshire on Only An Excuse: “I had no idea there were that many people in MI6.” May 21, 22:12
Bill Scullion on Only An Excuse: “The SFA simply don’t want to take a chance that Hearts come back to them with the same arguments as…” May 21, 21:54
Southernbystander on The Land Of No Laws: “Geri, I daresay this is part of the wider conversation above and I did not read all of it. I…” May 21, 21:14
sarah on Off-topic: “That’s a good idea about the hens, Dan – several neighbours have them. Yes, we have corrugated iron sheets to…” May 21, 21:13
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: ““…the ‘trans’ sadism and madness needs to be removed before independence, Alf…” Not so, that’s retrospective determinism — treating the…” May 21, 21:09
Geri on Only An Excuse: “Do you remember who it was that brought that shit to Scotland? They should be sued for all the money…” May 21, 20:50
Dan on Off-topic: “I reckon snails could easily travel a hunner yards back to a succulent cabbage leaf. Best to get some chickens…” May 21, 20:46
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Dan, LOL! Lorncal “Personally, I have no faith in the UN. It is filled to the gunnels with former colonized…” May 21, 20:44
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: ““Scotland’s malady is tribalism” The colonizer will always manipulate and ‘exploit tribal rivalries’ (Fanon), we know this from postcolonial theory.…” May 21, 20:42
agentx on Only An Excuse: ““21 May 2026, 18:37 BST Single-sex spaces – such as changing rooms and toilets – must be used on the…” May 21, 20:28
Scot Finlayson on Only An Excuse: “4 bookings after 90 mins, refs ,generally, put on 30 seconds per booking, so another 2 minutes should have been…” May 21, 20:27
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Surely a blinkered attitude if you stand to make a killing by betting on how long he will last as…” May 21, 20:27
George Ferguson on Only An Excuse: “Well that was the 5 days up and there we have it, nothing to see here move on. The reputational…” May 21, 20:19
sarah on Off-topic: “If your wee ones want to see more than one large snail, I recommend leaving one or more kale [or…” May 21, 20:18
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Arse over tit, Bilbo. The policies over the past 4+ years were sane and rational. It’s the buying of diesel…” May 21, 20:17
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Another one that doesn’t understand “Scroll on. Piss off” Leave her alone eh? Yer one post today had to be…” May 21, 20:16
Lorncal on The Queer Parliament: “Stuart: that was not my point. It will only come back to reality when the pressures start to show the…” May 21, 20:14
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Hey Alf. Did you know that Northy posts in praise of you as well? He also writes that the only…” May 21, 20:10
Paul Eden on Only An Excuse: “Outrageous, not fair, biased. Who knew?” May 21, 20:09
Bilbo on The Queer Parliament: “O/T. I see that the UK is lifting sanctions and buying oil produced by R via India. They do this…” May 21, 19:56
GM on The Queer Parliament: “It’s a toss up between her and Ivan McKee who is the best minister amongst them. I see Somerville still…” May 21, 19:56
Calum on Only An Excuse: “What’s even more depressing is, I have a couple of mates who are most def not Celtic fans who have…” May 21, 19:53
Bilbo on The Queer Parliament: “I have no interest in English politics but it’s obvious Burnham is only seen a popular candidate to become PM…” May 21, 19:50
Hatey McHateface on The Queer Parliament: “Never wis ony union, Alf? If only I had £1 for every time you’ve sat stumm after some thicko on…” May 21, 19:47
sarah on Off-topic: “Hi Tinto and Marie, I agree that it is all very depressing and worrying. The crookedness, incompetence, and obsession with…” May 21, 19:44