And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.
Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.
As readers may already be aware, my main hobby to distract myself from my day job in the profoundly depressing world of politics is to delve into retro videogaming via my Retropie. It’s an endlessly rewarding fount of discovery and entertainment for many reasons, but sometimes the two spheres collide in extremely unexpected ways.
So let’s talk about GORF.
Midway’s 1981 arcade hit was a pioneering and innovative game. It was the first game to be comprised of multiple highly distinct sub-games, boldly including direct lifts of other people’s coin-ops in the form of Space Invaders and Galaxian. And while it wasn’t the first arcade game to feature synthesised speech – it was beaten to that punch by the likes of Berzerk and Wizard Of Wor the previous year – it was famous for the extensive and iconic vocabulary with which it taunted and goaded the player.
It got numerous conversions of variable quality to various home systems, whether as contemporary licences or later homebrew ports, and that’s where we come in.
Even by the embarrassing standards of The National, the gulf between this morning’s blaring front-page splash and the weak, watery weasel words in the actual article is a chasm so wide and so yawning (in every sense of that word) that it would put the epic planetary scar of Mars’ Valles Marineris to shame.
Coupled with a feebly underwhelming Programme For Government (in which the main policy was the re-abolition of peak rail fares just months after the SNP insisted such a move was unaffordable, with no clue as to where the money had suddenly been found) and a pitiful list of candidates for next year’s Holyrood election featuring the likes of Sally “all aboard the gravy bus!” Donald, Kaukab “DECAPITATE TERFS” Stewart, Kirsten “DECAPITATE TERFS” Oswald, Alison “DECAPITATE TERFS” Thewliss and Alyn “throw anyone who doesn’t want to DECAPITATE TERFS out of the SNP” Smith, the story was an abject vision of a bleak future for independence.
On reflection, we feel we may have not taken this story seriously enough. After all, they don’t put just ANY old guff on the front page of the Sunday Mail.
The less said about the Scottish Government’s toe-curlingly embarrassing “summit” last week, the sooner we can all pretend it never happened. We’ve got little to add to the withering assessments of Robin McAlpine and Kevin McKenna and just about everyone else who’s bothered covering this pathetic waste of everyone involved’s time. (Not that the time of most of these useless quangocrats was worth anything anyway.)
We take a moment only to note something remarkable: the closest Scottish Labour’s hapless branch manager Anas Sarwar has ever come to understanding anything.
Yesterday the Scottish media gave Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman what she’s never willingly given anyone else – a platform on which to make her case.
Most did a very poor job challenging her on her outrageous comments about the Supreme Court, with BBC Radio Scotland’s Drivetime show being an especially wretched example of allowing the interviewee to ignore every question and then just ramble on endlessly about something else entirely, but LBC’s Gina Davidson was on top of her brief and put all the points that reasonable people wanted to be made, while giving Chapman ample time to answer uninterrupted.
Let’s break down how that went, with the help of our handy Bullshit Buzzer.
At the weekend, Scottish Greens MSP Maggie Chapman was filmed applauding as a notoriously unhinged transactivist ranted through a megaphone to a small and almost exclusively male crowd of protestors about how he was going to openly break the law by continuing to use women’s public toilets, and addressing JK Rowling with the words “We should all take a shite on you, you heinous creeping old bitch”.
At another protest, Chapman herself asserted that the Supreme Court’s unanimous ruling on the correct interpretation of the Equality Act 2010 was motivated by not by a solemn consideration of the law or by the arguments of counsel who appeared before it, but by “bigotry, prejudice and hatred”.
Chapman is – incredibly – Deputy Convener of the Equalities, Human Rights and Civil Justice Committee of the Scottish Parliament, and as such her comments sparked a storm of wholly justified outrage over her flagrant breach not only of Parliamentary rules but also of the law – specifically the Judiciary and Courts (Scotland) Act 2008, which requires all MSPs to uphold the independence of the judiciary.
Regular readers of Wings won’t need any reminding that Dani Garavelli of the Herald is, among some very stiff competition, one of the most contemptible pieces of nightsoil currently operating in the Scottish media.
But if you’re new here, we can give you a quick illustration.
If the sneering piety of that opening paragraph made you feel a little revolted, a bit angry and somewhat nauseous, then congratulations, because that means you’re still something minimally approximating to a decent human being. But unfortunately it gets a lot worse from there.
Colin Dawson on Faces In Sand: “Collette Stevenson’s mistake is quite understandable, given the SNP’s total obsession with transgender issues over the past decade or so.…” Oct 19, 00:00
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Is this migration coming from that war torn country that was serving conscription papers on beaches? That is just another…” Oct 18, 23:05
Elmac on Faces In Sand: “The title of Faces in Sand would be more appropriate as Faeces in Sand. How anyone with a brain, a…” Oct 18, 23:02
Willie on Faces In Sand: “Let’s try again to get through moderation. The potential for huge white immigration from a European country looms large. They…” Oct 18, 21:41
Willie on Faces In Sand: “20 million Ukr##nans are wanting to leave. With Britain in lockstep political alignment, if not blood brothers, the UK might…” Oct 18, 21:35
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “@ Hatey My comment was meant to be criticism as too many people have no critical thinking nowadays due to…” Oct 18, 21:17
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““colossally mishandled by the French state, of course” No “of course” about it here. You should back up your claim…” Oct 18, 21:04
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “@ Spartan 117 This talk of certain demographics need to be taken in context. I haven’t been following the protests…” Oct 18, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““Most of the French think it’s a great thing” Michty! My BS meter has shorted out again. But we can…” Oct 18, 20:49
WhoRattledYourCage on Faces In Sand: “I’ll write about what I feel like writing about. It’s not important, I did say that. I am bigoted against…” Oct 18, 20:48
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “There y’are, Hatey. Woke before it was even a thing. Then there’s was that Scottish engineer fae Lithgae on the…” Oct 18, 20:48
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Found this article about Gen Z woman revisting classic British comedies where on one comedy they found The show’s physical…” Oct 18, 20:44
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “I doubt there will be any white asylum seekers coming over on the channel in a dinghy. Most of the…” Oct 18, 20:34
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “@Spartan 117 There was a Scottish black bloke in Porridge. The mind boggles!” Oct 18, 20:31
Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Rab C Nesbitt wouldn’t have been so popular south of the border if it wasn’t for the drunken Scotch stereotype.…” Oct 18, 20:30
agentx on Faces In Sand: “” John Swinney compared to dictator as bus plans branded ‘business confiscation’ John Swinney has been compared to dictators as…” Oct 18, 20:24
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “It is indeed concerning as it appears to be spreading. The demographic *allegedly* driving the unrest, if true, is noteworthy…” Oct 18, 20:24
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “Right. So there is. Rab wisnae offensive then, or Pete The Jakey, cos it was Scottish. Best not mention Navid…” Oct 18, 20:12
Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “Thing is the article spends the first half slagging off a panel of three women, white, brown and black for…” Oct 18, 19:56
WhoRattledYourCage on Faces In Sand: “Those programmes are all Scottish, and none of them was done out of pure hatred and bigotry and cheap laughs.…” Oct 18, 19:40
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “What’s going on in France right now is quite concerning. Just when it looked as if WM was making inroads…” Oct 18, 19:24
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “To be fair to James, that was a pretty good post of his with good points, a by no means…” Oct 18, 19:20
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “Presumably you also take extreme offence to Rab C Nesbitt, Chewin’ The Fat and Still Game for their tropes.” Oct 18, 19:02
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “I grew up in a rough as fuck area of SE Edinburgh in an ex-Cooncil Hoose during the Major/Blair years,…” Oct 18, 18:51
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Surely “pricks”, CC? James didn’t write that on his own. He lacks the attention span, even for a copy-and-paste that…” Oct 18, 18:45
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “I expected him to be deid, but he’s nae. Which rather spoils my post, because I was gonna say you’ll…” Oct 18, 18:37
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Odd, sarah. All the other countries in Europe, and indeed the west, who are maxed out on debt, at least…” Oct 18, 18:22
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““disrespecting us” Never! Surely not you, Confused?” Oct 18, 18:10
twathater on Faces In Sand: “Oh no confused now you’ve upset spartan 007, another one who knows what everyone in Scotland wants and thinks, does…” Oct 18, 18:07
Captain Caveman on Still Time To Save Her: ““Human dross” Is that right, Chief 😀 Dick.” Oct 18, 17:32