Hi! I noticed, with very considerable amusement, your complaint last night that I hadn’t made a “substantive reply” to the [EDIT] EIGHT posts (totalling nearly 11,000 words) of semi-coherent ranting about me that you’ve made on your site in the last eight days.
(I’ll be absolutely honest, I’ve only skimmed the last few.)
We both know the reason that’s so tear-streamingly comical, of course.
In so far as it’s worth talking about Scottish constitutional politics at all these days, it’s worth taking a moment to analyse the bloodless, anodyne nothingness spouted by the First Minister on The Sunday Show at the weekend.
That clip is less than three minutes long, but it’s so soul-crushingly boring and full of content-free drone and waffle that it’s almost impossible to sit all the way through it, so we’re going to translate and summarise it for you.
Warning: despite the quite zingy title this is actually going to be a very dry stats post, readers. It is, on the other hand, based on a man having something disturbingly close to a complete psychotic mental breakdown, so there’s always that for a bit of colour.
Because the paragraph above, and in particular the highlighted part, is without a doubt the most dishonest, diametrically false and wildly extreme lie about Scottish politics that we’ve ever seen anyone tell in the 13.5 years of Wings Over Scotland’s existence.
And as a rule we don’t bother addressing them because they’re so demented you could spend 5,000 words pulling apart all the individual strands of lunacy every time, and lunatics thrive on attention, but this one does merit a very brief comment.
Because “Vote Labour, get indy” wasn’t our plan. It was John Swinney’s.
As readers may already be aware, my main hobby to distract myself from my day job in the profoundly depressing world of politics is to delve into retro videogaming via my Retropie. It’s an endlessly rewarding fount of discovery and entertainment for many reasons, but sometimes the two spheres collide in extremely unexpected ways.
So let’s talk about GORF.
Midway’s 1981 arcade hit was a pioneering and innovative game. It was the first game to be comprised of multiple highly distinct sub-games, boldly including direct lifts of other people’s coin-ops in the form of Space Invaders and Galaxian. And while it wasn’t the first arcade game to feature synthesised speech – it was beaten to that punch by the likes of Berzerk and Wizard Of Wor the previous year – it was famous for the extensive and iconic vocabulary with which it taunted and goaded the player.
It got numerous conversions of variable quality to various home systems, whether as contemporary licences or later homebrew ports, and that’s where we come in.
Even by the embarrassing standards of The National, the gulf between this morning’s blaring front-page splash and the weak, watery weasel words in the actual article is a chasm so wide and so yawning (in every sense of that word) that it would put the epic planetary scar of Mars’ Valles Marineris to shame.
Coupled with a feebly underwhelming Programme For Government (in which the main policy was the re-abolition of peak rail fares just months after the SNP insisted such a move was unaffordable, with no clue as to where the money had suddenly been found) and a pitiful list of candidates for next year’s Holyrood election featuring the likes of Sally “all aboard the gravy bus!” Donald, Kaukab “DECAPITATE TERFS” Stewart, Kirsten “DECAPITATE TERFS” Oswald, Alison “DECAPITATE TERFS” Thewliss and Alyn “throw anyone who doesn’t want to DECAPITATE TERFS out of the SNP” Smith, the story was an abject vision of a bleak future for independence.
On reflection, we feel we may have not taken this story seriously enough. After all, they don’t put just ANY old guff on the front page of the Sunday Mail.
The less said about the Scottish Government’s toe-curlingly embarrassing “summit” last week, the sooner we can all pretend it never happened. We’ve got little to add to the withering assessments of Robin McAlpine and Kevin McKenna and just about everyone else who’s bothered covering this pathetic waste of everyone involved’s time. (Not that the time of most of these useless quangocrats was worth anything anyway.)
We take a moment only to note something remarkable: the closest Scottish Labour’s hapless branch manager Anas Sarwar has ever come to understanding anything.
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “Aye, Alf, one person is enough! Like I’ve said before, if you’ve worked out your theoretical framework, then you now…” Jul 22, 07:54
Oneliner on The Wheels Of Industry: “Meanwhile Pinocchio Sarwar has been elevated to the House of Lords where he will be in charge of dental hygiene…” Jul 22, 07:48
Captain Caveman on The Wheels Of Industry: ““Blaming colonialism and white oppression that have nothing whatsoever to do with the present generations – even the older ones…” Jul 22, 07:30
Young Lochinvar on The Wheels Of Industry: “CD It seems depressingly so.. At Westminster they revelled in 3rd place to get airtime and arguably influence matters down…” Jul 22, 00:24
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Wheels Of Industry: “TRANS ACTIVISTS LAUNCH ‘HOW-TO’ INTIMIDATION GUIDE A group promoting violence against gender-critical campaigners has produced a guide to intimidation. Bash…” Jul 21, 23:38
Lorncal on The Wheels Of Industry: “Too many Scots, even those who profess themselves to be independence supporters, worry about other peoples to the detriment of…” Jul 21, 21:09
Colin Dawson on The Wheels Of Industry: ““Were they just waiting for all the momentum and impetus of Brexit, COVID, May, Truss and Starmer to die down…” Jul 21, 20:49
Alf Baird on The Wheels Of Industry: ““You can’t really imagine a spongebrain like Sturgeon, Swinney or Useless penning something of that calibre, can you?” Certainly no…” Jul 21, 20:46
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Wheels Of Industry: “PDF of Herman Dooyeweerd’s book: ‘ROOTS OF WESTERN CULTURE’ https://vcho.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Roots-of-Western-Culture-B-Vol-15.pdf” Jul 21, 20:38
Southernbystander on The Wheels Of Industry: “But you said they are accountable only to parliament. This is not true. If they break rules seriously enough then…” Jul 21, 20:15
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Wheels Of Industry: “« STOIC philosophy (influenced by semitic thought) had introduced into Greek thought the idea of the natural freedom and equality…” Jul 21, 19:57
Mark Beggan on The Wheels Of Industry: “And it never will. The Hope King? I thought Andy Burnham was the Oasis drummer.” Jul 21, 19:36
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “Ach, Mark, you’re sore cos the hope hasn’t reached your postcode yet. Give it a day or two.” Jul 21, 18:10
TURABDIN on The Wheels Of Industry: “in the UK parliament is sovereign not the people. there is no concept of popular sovereignty within the Anglo-British (unwritten)…” Jul 21, 18:04
Mark Beggan on The Wheels Of Industry: “They can always be found around children. It’s clear now that Trans is a shield for abusing children. Fully supported…” Jul 21, 17:32
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Wheels Of Industry: “GIRLGUIDING STAFF STILL FEAR VOICING GENDER-CRITICAL VIEWS Girlguiding staff are still afraid to air gender critical views due to the…” Jul 21, 16:24
Mark Beggan on The Wheels Of Industry: ““A communist slop of low caliber, low IQ, feckless, unprincipled clowns.” The new Labour administration. Being a government take 2.…” Jul 21, 16:08
100%Yes on The Wheels Of Industry: “Is it plausible if asked by the police, I had a whole in my purse and the I lost the…” Jul 21, 15:51
robertkknight on The Wheels Of Industry: ““I don’t think it’s feasible or reasonable to disenfranchise the non-Scots in Scotland”. The British Government had no problem disenfranchising…” Jul 21, 15:09
factchecker on The Wheels Of Industry: ““As British MPs are not deputies, that is representatives of the people but accountable only to parliament and its notion…” Jul 21, 15:02
Vestas on The Wheels Of Industry: “I remember Gordon, he used to be quite active BTL here at one point in time (2014-16??). Maybe getting himself…” Jul 21, 14:40
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “Professor Baird lacks a time machine so we have to deal with Scotland as it is today. I don’t think…” Jul 21, 14:31
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “I maintain a balanced neutrality on that question by being very careful to not read anything written by Sturgeon, Swinney…” Jul 21, 13:57
robertkknight on The Wheels Of Industry: ““You should be able to rely on the support of near 50% of Scots”. Point of order… 52.7% of Scots…” Jul 21, 13:52
Hatey McHateface on These Words Are My Own: “Missing a trick there, Northy. Demand billions in compensation from the Scots for the genocide of the Picts.” Jul 21, 13:51
Hatey McHateface on The Wheels Of Industry: “Sorry, Alf. If you think the UN should prioritise “being out of the game” over being blown to bits in…” Jul 21, 13:46
Northcode on These Words Are My Own: “Southernbystander. You’re right, that the practical side matters more than the abstract principle. When I talk about “sovereignty of the…” Jul 21, 12:19
TURABDIN on The Wheels Of Industry: “BURNHAM became Brit PM by a system that is not directly accountable to the people, it was a internal westminster…” Jul 21, 12:15
Southernbystander on These Words Are My Own: “Yes this is all possible and the sentiment is sound, though as others have asked what does deriving sovereignty from…” Jul 21, 11:17
