Sane people across the nation have watched in growing disbelief for the last two years as the UK government’s catastroshambles over Brexit has unfolded. In the latest jaw-dropping developments, David Davis has revealed that he’s only just now thinking of STARTING negotiating a trade deal with the EU – 22 months after the referendum and with absolutely no idea of how to solve the Irish Question on which it all depends.
Meanwhile, Faisal Islam of Sky News has made the pertinent point that the one “land-based” border between the UK and mainland Europe, the Channel Tunnel, has no infrastructure in place for serving as a checkpoint because it was fundamentally never designed or envisaged for a Europe without the UK, and the UK government has done absolutely nothing in the last two years to prepare for that changing.
And the more ludicrously chaotically and ineptly the whole farce plays out, the more it’s only possible to come to one rational conclusion about it: that the Prime Minister’s grand plan for enacting Brexit is to fail.
So everyone’s fighting about Gaelic again. Provoked by a minor story about a Gaelic dictionary MSM and alt-media pundits are flying at each other with daggers over a language spoken by almost nobody on Earth and on which the government spends a few measly and irrelevant pennies, trying to turn it into a proxy war over politics and the constitution and fascism and genocide and goodness knows what else.
We’ve covered the political nonsense around the issue numerous times on this site, and we’re not about to do so again here. This, as befits the Soapbox section, is a purely personal view, which will doubtless attract more furious shrieking from the sort of people who long ago lost the ability to listen to a counterpoint – or indeed tolerate the mere concept of one – let alone consider it or debate it without abuse.
But hey ho. After a while you just learn to tune that stuff out, so let’s go.
Holiday Boy is taking slacking to a new extreme to mark the onset of spring, and we’re sad to inform you that there’ll be no Cairnstoons on Wings for another couple of weeks while our intermittent satirist rearranges his Fabergé eggs or something.
Entirely by coincidence, yesterday we were doing some overdue admin, and as we filed away some previous bits of crayon-work we couldn’t help but be struck by the prescience of a few cartoons from various times, 2013 in particular.
So just in case anyone had forgotten (attention spans are short these days), here’s some of the insight we’re all currently missing.
We weren’t going to do anything on yesterday’s disturbing development in the legal wrangle between the Scottish and UK governments over devolved powers and Brexit, because the rest of the media has been covering it at length and we don’t have any particular expertise or insight to offer.
But it was hard to ignore the striking turn of phrase used, not by some sensationalist partisan commentator but by the learned and sober QC Jonathan Mitchell, last seen acting for the petitioners in the Alistair Carmichael lie case.
It doesn’t pull any punches, but as a summary of the relationship London wants to put in place between itself and the devolved nations for years to come (Labour-run Wales has already caved), and which Unionist politicians and the more witless pundits are of course portraying as unreasonable grievance-mongering and failure on the part of the Scottish Government, it’s about as accurate a description as you’re ever going to find.
Alert readers may recall that the Electoral Commission recently chose, to everyone’s (cough) great surprise, to take no action against extremist Unionist shout-monkeys Scotland In Union over a number of clear breaches of electoral rules, or for failing to disclose a number of large donations from extremely wealthy donors.
10 days ago the EC published a tranche of FOI documents relating to the case on its website, with the donor details redacted to protect the identity of the various Lords, Dukes, Earls and Countesses who’d rather you didn’t know that they’d been handing thousands of pounds at a time to SiU.
So, yeah. It was on this day in 1991 that the first ever proper issue of Amiga Power (A Magazine With Tatty Shoes, or something) hit Britons’ newsagents’ shelves.
>>SUB: PLEASE CHECK IMAGE
And while vast numbers of old games magazines are now available to read as lovely friendly PDFs or similar that you can load up onto your computer or electro-tablet and flick through page by page in a gratifying manner, AP inexplicably isn’t.
As alert readers will recall, nowadays we only look at the Scottish Daily Express if we’re absolutely desperate for material, so this piece slipped past us a few days ago:
And since the only thing in the papers today is page after page of unbearable fawning drivel about the stupendously insignificant (fifth in line to the throne, will never ever be king unless a terrorist blows up Buckingham Palace with an atomic bomb, is roughly as important to the wellbeing of the nation as Hamilton Accies’ third-choice goalkeeper) royal baby, we figured we may as well have a look at it now.
Even in a sluggish news season, it’s somehow extra-dispiriting to see a once-august newspaper like the Sunday Times fill its pages by trying to flog its readers reheated old cobblers from the previous day’s Daily Mail.
We’ve already shredded the towering stupidity of the story itself (the Times dutifully repeats all the exact same drivel about meal deals and loyalty vouchers), so we were pleased when social media presented a new angle on it.
Pointing out the spectacular levels of imbecility among Scotland’s elected Tories has threatened to become a full-time job for this website in recent months. We wish we could say that today’s example was even a particularly noteworthy one, but tragically it’s about par for the course.
Today’s Scottish Daily Mail leads with a rather limp piece about some fairly minor and unavoidable loopholes in the new legislation for minimum alcohol pricing. It notes, for example, that if people order alcohol online and it’s despatched by the supplier from outside Scotland, the Scottish Government will have no jurisdiction over the price.
(Because the UK has no internal border controls and there’s no law against someone buying cheaper booze in England and bringing it home to Scotland.)
Retailers, of course, can easily block this loophole if they choose to, by refusing to deliver cheap alcohol purchases to Scottish addresses, so it’s not much of a problem.
And the other “loopholes” aren’t actually loopholes at all – one*, according to the Mail, is that “loyalty reward vouchers can also continue to be offered to cut the cost of alcohol”, which is a bit like saying it’s a “loophole” that employers could give people pay rises that they might use to buy more beer.
But if you thought THAT was stupid, Annie Wells MSP is here to raise the bar.
(NB These rules do not apply to Andrew Neil, Nick Robinson, etc etc. Like, duh. In a properly democratic country we’d be able to use FOI to actually see the blacklist, but this is the BBC we’re talking about.)
Cherrybank on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I think Craig Houston the You Tuber representing the SDP will be a surprise winner of a seat on the…” Mar 24, 15:42
Rob on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The de Hondt system is skewed to stop having a majority but essentially if enough folk wanted the SNP out…” Mar 24, 15:29
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I’d say John Swinney couldn’t turn a car around never mind the Country. The man is so unappealing I wish…” Mar 24, 14:58
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “New poll predicts a 18 Pro-Indy majority lead for May’s election, so what? The parliament has had a Pro-Indy majority…” Mar 24, 14:46
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““So what will we get for this £53m?” A cheap, and not very entertaining, second-rate circus laid on by Westminster…” Mar 24, 14:42
James Che on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Lets call the whole thing off is a good idea, This is meant to be a Scottish election, not parties…” Mar 24, 14:30
Cynicus on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “This was always on the cards- after Craig Murrays’s (latest) defection.” Mar 24, 14:00
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Alright everybody. The electron’s here. Beautiful Scotland. Great people. Run by lunatics and morons. Ok. Everybody knows this. You have…” Mar 24, 13:53
sarah on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Well, this poll proves, yet again, that pollsters ask people who have no idea of what is really going on…” Mar 24, 13:36
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Speaking of irony , apparently the Minister for War in the US of A said ,”The problem with Iran is…” Mar 24, 11:10
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Thanks Alf! The Caledonian Isles is a bit elderly much like me!” Mar 23, 20:30
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Thanks Alf! The Caledonian Isles is a bit elderly much like me!” Mar 23, 20:25
Iain More on Irony you can’t buy: “Re Iran war . Poor wee stupid Norway is laughing all the way to the Sassanach Offshore Tax Haven Banks.…” Mar 23, 20:07
twathater on Irony you can’t buy: “It is sometimes extremely difficult to gauge how stupid some people really are , but time and time again they…” Mar 23, 18:19
Aidan on Irony you can’t buy: “As much as it pains me to say this, I am inclined to agree with James here. This feels like…” Mar 23, 18:06
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: ““Has your position now changed” Nothing of any significance can change in a colony until it becomes independent and in…” Mar 23, 18:03
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““Alf Baird says: 20 March, 2026 at 9:11 am My preference would be for Scotland to reduce dependence on England’s…” Mar 23, 15:52
Del G on Irony you can’t buy: “First I wash my clothes. Then I dry them. Then I do the irony.” Mar 23, 15:06
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: ““London governments sold Scotland’s public utilities including port monopolies for peanuts based on the specific argument that private owners would…” Mar 23, 12:43
James on Irony you can’t buy: “Yoon Troll X; “A £3m funding pledge…” LOL. ‘Here’s some crumbs, Jock’” Mar 23, 11:56
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: ““investment in Rosyth from the UK’s Growth Mission Fund” London governments sold Scotland’s public utilities including port monopolies for peanuts…” Mar 23, 11:31
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““A £3m funding pledge for a Scottish port comes with hopes that a new ferry service to France will set…” Mar 23, 11:01
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: “Fog should not necessarily prevent a sailing. Modern ships have excellent navigation systems, they can tell what is around them.…” Mar 23, 10:42
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “The SNP & it’s membership have been completely captured. There is zero point in hoping for a road to Damascus…” Mar 23, 09:54
Stevie m on Irony you can’t buy: “It was obvious from day one she wasn’t interested in Scottish independence ; the number of Sturgeionites who hassled me…” Mar 23, 09:07
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “What about building tunnels. Lots and lots of tunnels.” Mar 23, 09:02
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “A question for Alf with his maritime hat on, I thought ships sailed on merrily in fog only to discover…” Mar 23, 08:50
diabloandco on Irony you can’t buy: “Wheesht YL! – It might hear you and return to make me scroll on by ad nauseam.” Mar 23, 08:43