Which we were this morning, perhaps someone should tell David Mundell his.
Because he seems a little confused about it.
It has come to our attention that the Newsquest journalist David Leask spent all day yesterday issuing a long series of angry and rather insulting tweets asserting that this website had misidentified the nature of his employment in a number of articles.
Naturally, we wish to eradicate any uncertainty or possible errors.
So it seems our article of earlier today rattled the Herald’s cage but good. Scottish political Twitter has been an absolute logjam of incandescent Herald Group hacks all afternoon, making all manner of wild accusations and threats. At the head of the fury, of course, was Chief Reporter And Witchfinder General Mr David Leask.
Unfamiliar with the Scottish media? God, how we wish THAT was true.
Leask issued a long (long) stream of invective on Twitter, while hiding behind a block that means we can’t post any responses to it that any of his Twitter followers will see. So for the record, we suppose we’ll have to address them here.
Chris Cairns continues to slack in the USA.
We anticipate his return to the drawing board next weekend, the wastrel.
Following the Scottish media’s week-long frenzy of stories about the “scandal” of baby boxes – in which it was revealed to the astonishment of the nation that cardboard is flammable and incapable of stopping an armoured assault from a tank division or a zombie plague – we were a little startled to note that the Guardian (which has now run THREE stories about how terrible it is to give babies nice free stuff) didn’t always have such a downer on the project.
Apparently (and as recently as this February) baby boxes are “great innovations” and “hugely popular” – so long as the SNP aren’t involved, of course, at which point they turn into grotesque deathtraps.
And it got us wondering: what else is only terrible when it happens in Scotland?
We must admit, we didn’t think this would be beaten so soon.
But there you go. Just goes to show you how little we know about the sick, despicable, sewer-dredging shitfestival that is the Scottish media, and how badly even we’ve been overestimating their humanity all these years.
“Scandal”.
It says “scandal”.
To hell with every last one of these worthless sacks of parasitic filth. And their horses.
Alert and intrepid reader Dougie Grant gets among Her Majesty’s most loyal subjects.
(Alternative title: “A Journey Towards Unity”.)
This one won’t take long. This is the front page lead on today’s Herald:
It’s a trope beloved of Unionists (and was a particular favourite of the paper’s departed columnist David Torrance) – how dare Scotland imagine that it’s special? – and the Herald bangs the drum extra-hard this morning, with Anas Sarwar given lots of room to talk Scotland down while insisting that he’s not talking Scotland down, claiming that the idea of Scotland being “less intolerant than our neighbours” is a myth.
So let’s just check the facts.
The Scottish Sunday Express yesterday had a shock-horror exposé about a “HUGE loophole” in the Scottish Government’s minimum-pricing legislation for alcohol.
We thought we’d give it a quick once-over. You’re in for a HUGE shock, readers.
It’s not easy to type with your jaw on the floor, readers.
But in the six and a half years we’ve been watching the Scottish media here on Wings, this surely has to be an all-time low.
Today’s Daily Record runs with a bizarre story lifted from yesterday’s Guardian, which resurrected the media’s longstanding but latterly-dormant hate campaign against the Scottish Government’s popular “baby box” initiative.
Universal free baby boxes have been used in Finland for the past 69 years with no negative consequences, and have indeed coincided with an absolutely enormous reduction in child mortality there. They’re being increasingly adopted all over the world, and are also sold commercially in the UK for up to £450.
Uniquely, however, in Scotland they’re bad.
Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.
