Back in the 1980s there was a hit game for the ZX Spectrum home computer called Worse Things Happen At Sea. In it you play a robot whose job is to get a heavily-laden cargo ship safely to port, except that more and more disasters keep befalling it.
It springs leaks, it veers off course, the engine overheats and the robot’s power runs down, until eventually the catalogue of catastrophes overwhelms the harassed metallic custodian and the boat slides down into the murky depths.
We wonder if that feels familiar to anyone at the moment.
On 23rd March this year, after Alex Salmond was found not guilty of 13 criminal charges in the High Court, I called on the Scottish Government to set up a judge-led inquiry into the allegation that he had been the subject of a conspiracy involving the Scottish Government, which resulted in him being accused of criminal behaviour.
There’s an especially interesting post on the blog of Scottish solicitor-advocate Gordon Dangerfield at the moment, pointing out that there are no legal reasons whatever for the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) to be withholding documents relating to the allegations against Alex Salmond, and indeed issuing dire threats of prosecution against him or anyone who might put them into the public domain.
(All of the blog’s coverage of the inquiry in general has been expert and revealing, and should be the first stop for readers seeking to understand proceedings.)
The items in question include the infamous WhatsApp messages exchanged by the group of people attempting to have Salmond imprisoned for crimes he didn’t commit, among them SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
When two of Murrell’s messages were leaked recently it was front-page news in the Scottish press, and generated a huge amount of subsequent coverage. Commentators as diverse as Mandy Rhodes of Holyrood magazine and Alex Massie of the Times and Spectator have noted that while they’d initially disbelieved talk of a conspiracy, the Scottish Government’s actions have given them the opposite impression.
The message log is absolutely central to Salmond’s claim of a conspiracy against him, so the last thing that either COPFS or the leadership of the SNP wants is for it to become public knowledge. Indeed, COPFS has denied that the messages exist at all, which makes it a bit weird that the police are currently conducting a serious criminal investigation into who leaked some apparently entirely imaginary documents.
So it would be quite astonishing if they suddenly disappeared, wouldn’t it?
Readers, we can’t tell you how much we want to get back to just dissecting Scotland’s hopeless Unionist media for a living. It’s a lot more fun than what the current political circumstances are obliging us to do, so you can hardly imagine our excitement when we spotted what looked like an open goal in yesterday’s Mail On Sunday.
Our ears pricked up immediately at the sight of the words “up to”, which is invariably a sign of dodgy doings on the way, and so it proved. The article contained no solid data at all about the size of Scottish Government special advisers’ pay rises, only how many SpAds there were and which general pay bands they were in, each of which spans a wide range of between £14,000 and £23,000.
But while the Mail had spooned the sitter six feet over the crossbar – because the crude spin they’d put on it was total rubbish – there was still a loose ball just waiting to be knocked into the back of the net.
The SNP’s earth-shattering 2011 majority election victory, which paved the way for the 2014 independence referendum, dropped a bomb on Scottish politics.
What few people realised at the time was that it was also going to set up a series of massive paydays for one of Scotland’s wealthiest demographics: lawyers.
SNP Members For Independence? What a ridiculous phrase – surely every member of the SNP is in favour of independence, right?
That’s mostly true of course, but the leadership and many elected representatives of the party appear to be intent on repeating the failed Section 30 route to independence, and also on restricting serious debate about alternative strategies.
It seems that a revised “Plan B” may be discussed at the party conference, still almost two months away, and for all Plan B’s merits it is seriously flawed and its inclusion at the expense of alternative and better plans at conference would merely pay lip service to the term “serious debate”
Something clearly needed to be done, which is why SNP Members For Indy has been set up. So what’s it for and what is it trying to do?
We’re very busy today writing more FOI requests and the like, so we’ll just take a brief moment here to note that hiring super-expensive lawyers to object to the questions you’re being asked DEFINITELY sounds like the behaviour of people who are keen to co-operate fully and in the most transparent way possible with an inquiry:
Having been privileged to serve as SNP National Treasurer, I’m aware of the duties that go with the post. Of course, it’s changed in some ways since then due to the scale of the party, the resources available and even technology. The days are long gone when Joan Knott, who has sadly since passed away, required to take a taxi down to my legal office to have cheques signed between court or clients.
But some things still remain fundamental, and in particular providing annual accounts for the party. That has been done for 2019, in the administrative sense, but what’s missing is their publication and provision either to the NEC or the party more widely.
For sure there’s been no conference but there are other bodies and other ways of making them available to party members. At NEC, conference and indeed anywhere else, members were entitled to see them and question me. It was their right to see them, and it remains so now. So why haven’t they seen them?
A column on a Sturgeon-loyalist indy website that we read yesterday has been mildly annoying us ever since, and in the interests of open debate (but mainly because it’s cold and grey and rainy outside and we can’t go out and feed the swans) we thought it was worth taking half an hour to walk through it a little and explain just why it’s such a dangerous piece of fantasy nonsense.
But first here’s one of said swans. She’s about five months old and her adult feathers are just starting to come through. Isn’t she lovely?
In case things get a bit rough later we’ve got some squirrels and a really fat dachshund as emergency backup, so buckle in.
The comments from committee convener and SNP MP Linda Fabiani (we guess she must be another of those MI5 plants/secret Unionists) are really quite extraordinary. In terms of Parliamentary language they’re only a hair’s-breadth short of an invitation to step outside and settle things with an old-school dust-up in the car park.
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““Want me to describe how” Of course. But you won’t. For all sorts of reasons. But mainly because you can’t.” Jul 29, 22:58
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Ah, Confused, some casual racism of the real kind, not the “doctrinal” sort dreamed up by Alf. And some of…” Jul 29, 22:51
Confused on The Nobodies: “what does that even mean? I pointed out the “blowback” / unintended consequences of – the west – “arming up…” Jul 29, 22:50
Marie on The Nobodies: “Well Burnham and most of his cabinet (and most Westminster MPs) are members of L-F-O-I and many accept donations. Westminster…” Jul 29, 22:34
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Another from Confused in which we glean some indication of what his main concern is. But enough of that. His…” Jul 29, 22:27
Confused on The Nobodies: “your posts are like a one man “dirty protest”, and never troubled by any coherent point. Still, quantity, not quality.…” Jul 29, 22:17
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Which side did em fight for? Can’t be too careful!” Jul 29, 22:15
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““on the wrong side of history and morality” Oh, yeah, sure. I’m not cheering on the people who want to…” Jul 29, 22:12
Confused on The Nobodies: “Sudan? I pointed out a while ago that the worst nutters we have imported to roam our streets tend to…” Jul 29, 22:12
Young Lochinvar on The Nobodies: “Happy anniversary tomorrow of the Battle of Boroughmuir (Edinburgh) 1335. Fought during the second wars of independence, another one the…” Jul 29, 21:47
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: ““sitting on it’s fat arse” Ah, Wally W, you’re another who should make the effort to post in Scots. That…” Jul 29, 21:38
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Nobodies: “« In another place [Carl] Schmitt calls sovereignty “true state omnipotence.” He holds that sovereignty lies with the person who…” Jul 29, 21:07
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “You give way too much attention, Northy, to the voices in yer heid.” Jul 29, 19:28
James on The Nobodies: “LOLZ…..says the Keyboard Warrior – sitting on it’s fat arse in East Kilbride posting Unionist Shite on here all day,…” Jul 29, 19:26
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Ah, Wally, as ever you show us why the smart money is on you still wondering, as the emergency services…” Jul 29, 19:24
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “What’s that you say, Sooty? Burnham’s going after people on benefits? Well, well. Maybe he will live up to the…” Jul 29, 19:09
James on The Nobodies: “Nah, everyone here knows you’re just a Unionist “Prick”…..” Jul 29, 19:05
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “This is Scotland, sam. Why should we believe you know what a woman is?” Jul 29, 18:39
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “We have serious claims from Professor Baird that I’m a racist and a fascist. We have serious claims from Professor…” Jul 29, 18:37
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: ““My point wasn’t about the emotional harm of mockery… it was about its structural uselessness.” Well I daresay, Northy, if…” Jul 29, 18:22
Alf Baird on The Nobodies: ““It sounds good but it’s not right.” Spot on, James. The statement (“Scotland did fine as a colony from 1750…” Jul 29, 16:03
Confused on The Nobodies: “Burnham’s been in the job 5 seconds and what has he been doing : – FUCK OFF SCOTLAND was near…” Jul 29, 15:39
Northcode on The Nobodies: “You’re raising points about government size and historical interpretation, but none of them actually engage the argument you’re responding to.…” Jul 29, 15:31
Northcode on The Nobodies: ““Mockery and insults are different.” Your distinction makes sense at the level of tone, but my point was about their…” Jul 29, 14:53
Ross on The Nobodies: “BTW, There’s an easy fix for the ITV screen capture problem – in the browser settings, do a search for…” Jul 29, 14:09
James on The Nobodies: ““Scotland did fine as a colony from 1750 to 1900, not asset stripped. It was only when big government arrived…” Jul 29, 13:50
Ian Smith on The Nobodies: “The colonialism is not a serious claim, it is presenting obscure academic opinions as fact. While there are none so…” Jul 29, 13:01
Ian Smith on The Nobodies: “Assuming no mainstream political party is going to radically improve anything for the country, there is still a good case…” Jul 29, 12:55
diabloandco on The Nobodies: “If any silly sod replies to derogatory comment at 12.10 then hell mend ye! On a completely off topic subject…” Jul 29, 12:45