Where we’re at 78
Posted on
March 05, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
It’s not a parody account, we checked.
Your guess is as good as ours, folks. Perhaps all other women were unavailable.
Archive for the ‘wtf’
Top Tips For Tealeafs 417
Posted on
March 03, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Yesterday’s evidence session at the Fabiani inquiry had several standout moments, but by a narrow margin this was our favourite.
And just in case you were wondering, yes, that IS Scotland’s top prosecutor, the Lord Advocate, chief of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service, James Wolffe QC, repeatedly refusing to tell an MSP whether or not it’s a criminal offence in Scotland to refuse to comply with a court-ordered search warrant.
So next time you’ve ramraided a load of iPads and the polis come knocking on your door asking if they can have a nosy around your attic for them, just tell them they can’t come in because it’s a matter of your motivations.
Let us know how that works out for you.
We have several questions 235
Posted on
March 01, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
To The Parliament Clerks 135
Posted on
February 23, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Translation service 307
Posted on
February 23, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Fighting for the right not to party 100
Posted on
February 10, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
We suppose this is a sort of compliment, in at least two senses.
The second of them, of course, being the sheer surprise of some people at discovering that not everyone is as cynical and devious as they evidently are themselves.
Rage Of The Wokerati 99
Posted on
February 05, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
It’s safe to say, readers, that our light-hearted new impromptu fundraiser has well and truly unhinged a few members of Scotland’s unhappiest community: the WokeNats.
So when the lovely and super-talented film-maker Phantom Power very kindly tweeted about it this afternoon, asking “where would we be without Wings?” and suggesting people might possibly donate a pound or two, one of them saw no contradiction about making these two replies, less than an hour apart.
We clear on the rules? Death threats bad, putting my head in an incinerator good.
Burning down the house 138
Posted on
February 04, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
In a surprise development, we made Pete Wishart happy today.
And not just him.
Beyond comedy 272
Posted on
February 04, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.
The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)
Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.
(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)
In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)
You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.
SNP In Arsonophobia Shame 228
Posted on
February 02, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
A criminal state 184
Posted on
February 01, 2021 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
Evidently the SNP didn’t think they looked bad enough already today.
Or more likely, they just wanted to try to bury all of their skeletons at once in a single giant avalanche of crookedness. But either way, enough is enough. Criminals accused of perjury don’t get to decide if they’ll answer for their lies or not.
The Fabiani committee has the power to compel witnesses to attend. They must now use that power without further delay, or they must call on the police to arrest the SNP’s chief executive immediately and drag him into an interview room by his ears if need be with a solicitor in attendance. (Doubtless also paid for by SNP members.)
Scotland is not GoodFellas. Nobody is above the law. Stop this damn rot now.
