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Archive for the ‘wtf’


We have several questions 235

Posted on March 01, 2021 by

So this is a thing now:

And basically, what?

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To The Parliament Clerks 135

Posted on February 23, 2021 by

(Click to enlarge.)

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Translation service 307

Posted on February 23, 2021 by

Utterly Insane Demented Crazy World version:

And in English:

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Fighting for the right not to party 100

Posted on February 10, 2021 by

We suppose this is a sort of compliment, in at least two senses.

The second of them, of course, being the sheer surprise of some people at discovering that not everyone is as cynical and devious as they evidently are themselves.

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Rage Of The Wokerati 99

Posted on February 05, 2021 by

It’s safe to say, readers, that our light-hearted new impromptu fundraiser has well and truly unhinged a few members of Scotland’s unhappiest community: the WokeNats.

So when the lovely and super-talented film-maker Phantom Power very kindly tweeted about it this afternoon, asking “where would we be without Wings?” and suggesting people might possibly donate a pound or two, one of them saw no contradiction about making these two replies, less than an hour apart.

We clear on the rules? Death threats bad, putting my head in an incinerator good.

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Burning down the house 138

Posted on February 04, 2021 by

In a surprise development, we made Pete Wishart happy today.

And not just him.

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Beyond comedy 272

Posted on February 04, 2021 by

At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.

The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.

(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)

Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.

(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)

In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)

You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.

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SNP In Arsonophobia Shame 228

Posted on February 02, 2021 by

Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.

And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.

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A criminal state 184

Posted on February 01, 2021 by

Evidently the SNP didn’t think they looked bad enough already today.

Or more likely, they just wanted to try to bury all of their skeletons at once in a single giant avalanche of crookedness. But either way, enough is enough. Criminals accused of perjury don’t get to decide if they’ll answer for their lies or not.

The Fabiani committee has the power to compel witnesses to attend. They must now use that power without further delay, or they must call on the police to arrest the SNP’s chief executive immediately and drag him into an interview room by his ears if need be with a solicitor in attendance. (Doubtless also paid for by SNP members.)

Scotland is not GoodFellas. Nobody is above the law. Stop this damn rot now.

The Final Curtain 76

Posted on January 10, 2021 by

Sorry, America 99

Posted on January 06, 2021 by

So here’s how long it took for Scottish transactivists to make the scenes in Washington DC tonight all about (1) them, and (2) me:

These people be crazy.

Deadpan Of The Year 2021 92

Posted on January 05, 2021 by

We know that the 5th of January is unusually early to be giving out annual awards, but this is going to be pretty much impossible to beat, so God bless the P&J for giving us all a chuckle in these dark times.

Let’s just quickly check on that “expert”.

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