We held back from writing about yesterday’s judgment from Lady Dorrian in the Court Of Session in the hope that if we stared at it for long enough we could get it to make some kind of sense. But it does not. On the face of it, the country’s second-most-senior judge is simply a drooling imbecile.
Because that submission is not the least bit difficult to follow.
The greatest intellectual weakness of the independence movement is its attitude towards Trident, and trying to reason with people about it (whether readers or other independence activists) is consistently one of the most frustrating aspects of writing Wings, because nuclear disarmers and Unionists are equally impervious to logic on the subject.
The UK’s nuclear “deterrent” – or as it was more accurately and memorably described by the former Vulcan nuclear bomber squadron commander Air Commodore Alastair Mackie, “a virility symbol, like a stick-on hairy chest” – is the greatest gift to a future Scottish independence negotiating team imaginable.
The rest of the UK gets a lot of economic and infrastructural benefits from Scotland, like water and energy, but ultimately it’s not massively bothered about those. Water is not yet a critical area and energy can be sourced elsewhere, and in any event Brexit shows us that the UK is more than willing to do itself enormous harm in the service of ideological political goals.
To be honest it barely seems worth marking the ninth anniversary of the indyref. The day our nation – albeit narrowly – bottled out of becoming a real one again is nothing to be celebrated. The supposed party of independence has run away from the fight, concerned only with feathering its own nest, and its era of power looks to be drawing to a bitter and deserved close.
But there remains one grave and glaring grievance.
And no matter what anyone says, it’ll dog democracy and condemn Scottish politics to eternal stagnation until it’s addressed.
The reality-TV let’s say “personality” Kelly Given – who Wings readers previously met on a trip to New York for Tartan Week with a raft of SNP let’s say “celebrities” a couple of months ago – has been off on another nice holiday.
Last night she told both the viewers of BBC Scotland’s “Seven Days” that she’d just spent three weeks on an island in Greece, where apparently she was quite shocked to discover that the Mediterranean nation was hot in July.
At least, we assume there was a sizeable current being passed through it, as little else could explain the visibly uncomfortable half-hour experienced by hapless Stonewall chair Iain Anderson with Beth Rigby last night, or the seemingly random changes every few seconds in his facial expressions, body language and accent.
(Just about the only constant, other than his sweating top lip, was the deeply irritating modern phenomenon of stupid people starting every sentence with the word “So…”.)
If you’re a connoisseur of vacuous, nervous awkwardness you’re in for a real treat. If you want to see a human being actually answering any questions with even the tiniest shred of coherence, pertinence or honesty, maybe give it a miss.
Just for a change, let’s have a Friday-night competition!
Sharp-eyed readers will have noticed that former First Minister Alex Salmond is staging a show in the Spiegeltent at the Edinburgh Fringe next month, from 4-13 August.
You may even have seen a bit of online criticism from certain po-faced pseudonats about the fact that Salmond is sharing a platform with – gasp! – a Yoon, in the shape of the “last of the traditional Tories”, David Davis MP.
Callum on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “The BIG questions. Should any doctor who is incapable of determining the sex of their patients be allowed to practice…” Jul 24, 07:42
Young Lochinvar on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Quality Doctor eh.. . Did she pass basic biology? Doctor! Doctor! Road traffic accident casualty just in and it looks…” Jul 24, 06:02
Young Lochinvar on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Aha!! P3nisbreath McP3nisbreathface is back after an absence no doubt at Langley and.. T A..v. And upset about a Barbie…” Jul 24, 05:51
Willie on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Reading the various comments it does seem that Alf Baird has very much become the focus of coordinated attack from…” Jul 24, 05:19
Hatey McHateface on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““You’re all afraid and it shows” Sure. I’m forever shitting ma kegs at the idea that TH and ‘Mrs James’…” Jul 24, 03:57
Hatey McHateface on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““There’s barely a comment posted here by a unionist (colonialist?) that is anything other than childish insult, threat, lies, diversion,…” Jul 24, 03:44
Hatey McHateface on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““What does tomorrow hold – an accusation of genocide?” Well, to be fair, the bar for that is being lowered…” Jul 24, 03:26
Young Lochinvar on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Lorn @ 11.32 This deviant crap has been about in Europe for ages. Remember the early 90s Harry Enfield/ Paul…” Jul 24, 01:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Ah! I didn’t know Bill Rolston had died. Tá sé anois ar shlí na fírinne, as the Irish say. Ar…” Jul 24, 00:37
Lorn on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “I agree, even if I don’t agree with every word Alf says. He is a distinguished academic and researcher and…” Jul 23, 23:45
aLurker on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@Fearghas Thankyou for that Bill Rolston video, Indeed very interesting to hear the distilled observations from his book: “Ireland, Colonialism,…” Jul 23, 23:43
Jay on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Rob does not think ‘gender woo woo’ was really imported therefore he/she must be able to cite at least some…” Jul 23, 23:40
Lorn on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Mark Began: Scottish, British, European, Scandinavian, Commonwealth, American governments all culpable. Perhaps it is time that we stopped to wonder…” Jul 23, 23:32
Jay on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Rob does not think ‘gender woo woo’ was really imported therefore he/she must be able to cite at least some…” Jul 23, 23:08
agent x on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““Mark Beggan says: Which brings us back to the Scottish government.” ——————————————– No – equality training courses started after the…” Jul 23, 21:55
Mark Beggan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “‘equality training courses ‘ Which brings us back to the Scottish government.” Jul 23, 21:19
Captain Caveman on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “‘… Alf Baird puts forward a coherent and convincing argument based on sound and methodical academic research.’ He has done…” Jul 23, 21:16
agent x on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: ““Dr Searle When asked whether she thought Dr Upton was “obviously a man” she responded no. Ms Cunningham went on:…” Jul 23, 20:32
GM on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Aye Dave. There are as many trolling unionist accounts as Scottish nationalists posting now. The words ‘Scotland is a colony’…” Jul 23, 19:49
Aidan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “When was the last time I posted something bad about Scotland?” Jul 23, 19:25
Young Lochinvar on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Charlie Says Episode 1; Bad man/ stranger danger. I was at work and as mommy always told me make sure…” Jul 23, 19:18
Dan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “@ Lorn I’m only saying it like I see it. If you see the danger of all this woke stuff…” Jul 23, 19:13
DaveL on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “All the sad colonialists posting here regarding Alf Baird sound not a hoot different from the mentally disturbed chemical tits…” Jul 23, 19:10
Dan on Everybody’s Normal Nowadays: “Happy to talk about that as soon as you point me to the posts where I’ve been promoting the union…” Jul 23, 19:09