So the Supreme Court has delivered its brutal verdict. The prorogation of Parliament was completely unlawful and now, in effect, never happened. Parliament is officially still in session. The same Parliament that has stupendously failed to solve Brexit for three years can reconvene and continue to fail to solve it. What now?
Jeremy Corbyn stood up a few minutes ago at the Labour conference and demanded that Boris Johnson stand down immediately and hold a general election, as did several other opposition leaders. Which, alert readers may recall, is what Johnson tried to do, twice, barely a fortnight ago, and was blocked by the opposition.
Presumably if he tries again, they all now have to cooperate and vote for it, even though the dissolution of Parliament would render the Benn bill requiring him to ask the EU for an extension first null and void. So there’ll be a general election held on the subject of “Who rules the country – the people or the courts?”, which is what Johnson wanted all along. Um, victory?
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PS Fun trivia fact: UK electoral law requires 25 working days between the dissolution of Parliament and the date of a general election. There are exactly 27 working days (inclusive) between now and 31 October.
A few minutes later, Momentum activist Cathleen Clarke and former Tony Blair adviser John McTernan appeared on Sky News to sort it all out for confused viewers.
(Editor’s note: as a result of this cartoon, Mr Cairns has been sent on mandatory administrative leave of absence to let’s call it a “health spa” for the next two weeks. While he’s receiving let’s call it “therapy”, fill the gap by purchasing the latest volume of his works, which is guaranteed not to contain this one, we can only hope and pray.) .
Yeah, we know, that could be a really long article. But we have a specific thing in mind.
Over the last few days, Jo Swinson and Willie Rennie have both endured toe-curling interviews trying to defend the comically-indefensible hypocrisy of the party’s positions on Brexit and independence.
(If you haven’t been following, official policy now is that a Lib Dem election win is a clear and unimpeachable mandate to carry out their manifesto promises, but an SNP election win isn’t a mandate to carry out theirs.)
But it’s not the mere crass, transparent hypocrisy that makes them stupid.
In normal times we’d at least find today’s landmark defeat of the UK government in a Scottish court amusing. But these are not normal times, and at the present moment our toxic loathing of every politician in Westminster makes it a bitter fruit.
Although we must admit this bit still did manage to raise a smile:
(The reason, incidentally, is that the English High Court wasn’t sitting in August.)
What does it all actually mean, though? Well, nothing good.
Supporters of the opposition’s plan to block a no-deal Brexit have been proclaiming vindication this weekend over a couple of polls which show significantly lower support for the Tories, and a lead for Labour, in the event that a general election is called after 31 October with Brexit not having happened.
In that scenario, Tory voters tell pollsters that they’re more likely to defect to the Brexit Party, and the resulting split in the Brexit vote appears to point towards a Labour-led government if you plug the figures into a site like Electoral Calculus.
The reality is much more complicated than that. But what we’re specifically interested in is how it would affect the chances of securing a second indyref, so let’s take a look.
Sitrep: we’ve given up any hope of turning on the television and seeing a politician – any politician – telling the truth.
Boris Johnson is lying about negotiating a new deal with the EU. Jeremy Corbyn is lying about pretty much everything (in so far as he even knows what he wants the truth to be, let alone what it actually is). Jo Swinson is lying about wanting to meaningfully work with other parties to stop Brexit. Nicola Sturgeon is lying about wanting to stop a no-deal Brexit – she just wants to stop Brexit full stop.
(Unfortunately, this also means she’s lying about having any real intention of holding a second independence referendum before 2021. If she did, she wouldn’t have all her MPs and MSPs frantically running around parliaments and courtrooms trying to destroy her own democratic mandate for it, which would leave her needing to secure a fresh one 20 months from now. And assuming she’d have any more idea how to put it into practice than she has with the ones she’s already got.)
The government is lying about the fact that it doesn’t have confidence in itself, and the opposition is lying about the fact that it does. Everyone now says they want an election, but somehow it isn’t happening because nobody wants it yet, and nobody can agree when they DO want it, and they’re all lying about why.
And absolutely everyone is lying about the fact that whatever they’re trying to do right now has any chance of solving the present shambles. Johnson is just stalling to run the clock down until no-deal, although he swears blind that he isn’t, and the opposition just wants to drag the whole agony out for several more months with not the slightest clue what they’d actually do then.
Grimly, the closest thing that British voters currently have to an honest man is Nigel Farage, who is at least clear about what he wants and what he’s prepared to do to get it. Which is ironic, as he’s only anywhere near getting it because he’s spent his entire political career lying through his teeth about it.
We don’t mind telling you, folks, it’s been pretty hard to get up in the mornings.
So, British politics, eh? We’re basically on strike until things make at least an iota of sense, because there’s no point in attempting political analysis right now when events can overtake you before you’ve finished typing a sentence.
But let’s just have a quick recap on what we know.
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Any truth in the rumour Keir Starmer is going to appoint Gary Glitter as Ambassador to the USA?” Feb 21, 02:07
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Well Oi Vey Y’all!! FYI: Mumbling was permitted when swearing-in in divided Glasgow back then.. AI not tell you…” Feb 21, 00:01
Onlooker on When the law breaks the law: “Reply reply reply reply reply reply reply sneer fart waffle baffle babble…if you are a paid bot, you must have…” Feb 20, 23:22
Onlooker on When the law breaks the law: “Forgive my lack of exact recollection of details, but didn’t Nicola Sturgeon recommend Dorothy Bain for the Lord Advocate job…” Feb 20, 23:20
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Anyone see the irony of Ross Greer attacking Randy Andy (guilty as eff probably) while “its” party was the governmental…” Feb 20, 23:20
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “I recall you claiming you served in the British Army. That will make you one of the very few (perhaps…” Feb 20, 23:14
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Interesting how quickly, all things considered, that things have moved on since Auld Lizzie the lizard shuffled off this mortal…” Feb 20, 22:53
chic kirk on When the law breaks the law: “i donated but will do so again as needed, we the public must step forwrd to support people like mark…” Feb 20, 22:23
David Holden on When the law breaks the law: “Perhaps we should be running a crowd funder for the world’s greatest living half Greek former prince who has fallen…” Feb 20, 16:07
sarah on When the law breaks the law: “@ Mark Hirst: I donated when you first opened the crowdfunder and will do so again. I note that the…” Feb 20, 15:55
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Well, well! Grudging respect to Professor Baird. Precisely as predicted by Fanon, Memmi, et al, the linguistically colonised YL has…” Feb 20, 15:08
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Hasn’t the world’s greatest living half Scot, President Donald Trump, defunded that useless, toothless talking shop and safe haven for…” Feb 20, 14:38
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Eh? Sorry, no idea what you’re talking about. Have you been indulging in self-trepanation again..” Feb 20, 14:35
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: ““The Act of Union at least protected the Scots legal system” ? ————- Worth listening again to the seminal speech…” Feb 20, 14:22
dearieme on When the law breaks the law: “All this is a powerful argument against devolved Scottish government. Scrap the bloody thing, it’s failed. The Act of Union…” Feb 20, 13:27
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Great stuff, Northy. I’d heard of galactic clusters. Now you’re teaching me about galactic clusterfucks.” Feb 20, 12:07
Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Chris Wormald… former Cabinet Secretary for Great Britain, UK, and England recently replaced by: Dame Antonia Rebecca Caroline Angharad Catherine…” Feb 20, 11:39
McDuff on When the law breaks the law: “Donated. Best of luck Mark as you have been severely wronged and the thugs that targeted you need to be…” Feb 20, 11:20
Northcode on The Future Is Yesterday: “The past is tomorrow… not least because us humans insist on repeating history, and with not a single lesson ever…” Feb 20, 11:17
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Aye, Alf, I guess if the only tool in your armoury is a spoon, every situation must look like a…” Feb 20, 10:48
Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: ““The case we’re discussing here is entirely home grown” Don’t be silly. Despite the inevitable ‘on-the-ground indigenous agents'(Elkins) operating in…” Feb 20, 10:37
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “There’s something about Fanon makes my hair curl.” Feb 20, 10:28
willie on The Future Is Yesterday: “Rejected by the electorate in the constituency but then perchance a seat at the top of the regional list. Why…” Feb 20, 10:23
Andy Wiltshire on When the law breaks the law: “I’m cheering them on, but no doubt someone will explain that it’s all just something straight out of post-colonial theory…” Feb 20, 10:05
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““Movie”, YL? You’re colonised and you don’t even know it.” Feb 20, 08:46
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Anyone else reckon Bain’s heid has a similar(ish) profile to a movie Predator? Just without the odd breathy way of…” Feb 19, 22:36
robertkknight on When the law breaks the law: “Pay day next week…standby! The alphabets and their party connections are no secret. Nor indeed their motivations. They still enjoy…” Feb 19, 22:01
agentx on When the law breaks the law: “O/T – but the Mens’s curling team are through to the final – guaranteed at least a silver medal and…” Feb 19, 22:01