At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.
The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)
Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.
(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)
In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)
You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.
Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.
We’re feeling a bit confused this morning, readers. Maybe someone can help.
Below is the key part of the letter sent by the Clerks of the Scottish Parliament, acting on behalf of the Fabiani committee, to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) a week and a half ago, requesting material for their investigation into the Scottish Government’s botched handling of false allegations against Alex Salmond.
As we’d told you at the time, the request was a sham, designed to produce nothing of any value, because it carefully excluded the only person whose communications with Sue Ruddick were actually of relevance – SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
(Murrell being an employee of the party, NOT a member of the Scottish Government, a civil servant or a special adviser.)
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
Having never been part of a political party, an area where Wings lacks expertise is in understanding the nuts and bolts of their operation, and how a party’s rules can be used to usurp their members’ power. We’re delighted to have someone equipped to provide a valuable insight into how that’s happened to the SNP in the last two years.
The following line is still a definitive statement in the SNP constitution:
“National Conference is the supreme governing and policy-making body of the Party.”
But in practice it is no longer the case. The 2018 redraft of the constitution centralised power in the Leader and in the NEC. The party Leader has sole and total power over policy – both in the manifesto and in government – and the NEC has sole power over who represents the party and what they are allowed to say.
So in effect, since 2018 the party elite – not the membership – has ruled the SNP.
Something most people don’t know about the infamous Spanish Inquisition is that it was never the Catholic Church that actually executed heretics. Particularly if a prisoner had refused to confess their vile heresy even under torture, the Church instead handed them over to the “mercy” of the state to deliver their end.
So SNP MP Kirsty Blackman (or as we understand some are already calling her, “the Tiny Torquemada“) would have fitted right in with it.
Or more likely, they just wanted to try to bury all of their skeletons at once in a single giant avalanche of crookedness. But either way, enough is enough. Criminals accused of perjury don’t get to decide if they’ll answer for their lies or not.
The Fabiani committee has the power to compel witnesses to attend. They must now use that power without further delay, or they must call on the police to arrest the SNP’s chief executive immediately and drag him into an interview room by his ears if need be with a solicitor in attendance. (Doubtless also paid for by SNP members.)
Scotland is not GoodFellas. Nobody is above the law. Stop this damn rot now.
Minceheid on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Lorncal says: 26 July, 2026 at 7:46 pm Minceheid: it’s fire-raising in Scotland. No such crime as arson up here.…” Jul 27, 05:51
Dave Llewellyn on The Wheels Of Industry: “Turnover in 2024 was £300000. Not bad for a dormant company. ( see Companies House ). And if they want…” Jul 27, 02:36
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Northern Visions NVTV interview in Irish with English subtitles. Fionntan de Brun speaks to Seimi Mac Aindreasa in the studio…” Jul 27, 01:12
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “MB You clearly are unfamiliar with the concept of asymmetric warfare. Perhaps you’ve been reading Hateys pieces too much and…” Jul 27, 00:43
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “MB You clearly were never there. I assure you the streets in West Belfast had names that remain imprinted in…” Jul 27, 00:23
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “This is a public platform. We don’t want to know what you have done to your genitals.” Jul 26, 21:45
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “THE CRISIS IN HUMANIST POLITICAL THEORY by Herman Dooyeweerd PDF: https://vcho.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/The-Crisis-in-Humanist-Political-Theory-B-Vol-7.pdf” Jul 26, 19:49
Lorncal on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Minceheid: it’s fire-raising in Scotland. No such crime as arson up here. Not trying to be smart or putting you…” Jul 26, 19:46
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “THE CRISIS IN HUMANIST POLITICAL THEORY by Herman Dooyeweerd (1931, republished 2010) Currently (re-)reading above book. Just reached the following…” Jul 26, 19:30
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “It goes further than that, Mark. Once you are a woman they send in the crone with the rusty razor…” Jul 26, 19:27
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “During the Northern Ireland ‘Troubles’ the streets had no names. In today’s Middle east ‘Troubles’ the names have no streets.” Jul 26, 19:14
Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I think we can all agree there’s a need to dampen things down. Send for Rayner.” Jul 26, 19:11
Bilbo on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Labour is ideologically tied to immigration whether they like it or not. We are in a time where the UK…” Jul 26, 18:42
Southernbystander on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I would have said yes to this genius spot, but no, unless the Cairngorms are full of ham.” Jul 26, 18:12
Southernbystander on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I was on the border not very long ago and I can assure you there was a broken old fence…” Jul 26, 18:01
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Being a Trans in a Muslim country is a waste of time and money. Once you are a woman they…” Jul 26, 17:13
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I’ve came to the conclusion that if you are a gay Scot then voting for the Green party is Turkeys…” Jul 26, 17:04
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “They are going to blame Elon Musk. They won’t admit that progressive leftist ideology has failed.” Jul 26, 16:29
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I used to have a T-shirt that said in German ” I’m a jelly doughnut”.” Jul 26, 16:06
Young Lochinvar on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Two of JFKs most memorable speech quotes; “Ask not what your country can do for you..” And “Ich bin ein…” Jul 26, 15:49
Mark Beggan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “So that’s were the saying ‘cut your cloth according to your pocket comes from. The Jocks had big deep pockets…” Jul 26, 15:49
Northcode on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “The length of time a constitutional arrangement has existed doesn’t determine whether it operates on long-term or short-term incentives. A…” Jul 26, 14:37
Northcode on Ain’t it funny how things change?: ““…even though we now live in a revised world.” Your comment seems to rest on the assumption that constitutional questions…” Jul 26, 14:29
John Cleary on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Hello Stu, Want to know what happened to John Smith? Have a look here https://drive.proton.me/urls/0J0FYKBG24#F9ZfxS0qYcr6” Jul 26, 14:07