Alert readers will of course be aware that one of this site’s most frequently-recurring themes is “phantom news”, whereby events or unpleasant opinions that newspapers or broadcasters really want to have happened are conveniently brought to life, either by some random nobody on the internet, or an unnamed “source” or “insider”.
So when Nicola Sturgeon did something today that nearly everyone in the Northern Hemisphere knew she was going to do sometime soon, but wasn’t expecting just yet, there wasn’t time to prepare actual real people with the required quotes.
In the modern media world, though, that isn’t a problem.
We saw this exchange on Twitter this morning, involving left-wing Labour activist Eoin Clarke, a reader, and Scottish Labour list MSP Elaine Smith.
Smith professed to find it “unbelievable” and “scary” that the reader thought he’d had Tory governments for most of his lifetime. (We asked him how old he was and he said 34, which means he’s had Tory governments for 62% of his life, so that checks out.)
But it’s a standard Scottish Labour line that there’s no real difference between Scottish and English voters in terms of favouring left-wing politics, so we thought we’d just quickly check the arithmetic on that. The results are unlikely to shock you.
…on Good Morning Scotland yesterday, then we suspect you’re going to love the Lib Dems’ heroically glaikit MSP Alex Cole-Hamilton on the same show today.
We joke, of course. The Spanish government has made this position abundantly plain several times over a number of years, and it still doesn’t stop idiot Yoons (and media pundits who should know better) from spouting it.
But this time, in the flesh, it’s really quite hard to spin a way out of.
We don’t want to fall into the trap of portraying the Liberal Democrats as a party of any political relevance or consequence in Scotland, but for the sheer comedy value alone Willie Rennie’s interview with Gary Robertson on today’s Good Morning Scotland is worth a couple of minutes of your time.
First Minister’s Questions today (featuring stand-in FM John Swinney in a theatrical mood) was one long howl of “TOO WEE AND TOO POOR!”, with both Ruth Davidson and Kezia Dugdale using all of their questions to hark back to oil revenue forecasts from 2013 and insist that an independent Scotland would face economic apocalypse.
It was a dispiriting spectacle, and we found ourselves experiencing (not for the first time) pangs of sympathy for the remaining tiny rump of Scottish Labour voters, who must surely watch in broken despair at the antics of the hapless pack of squawking diddies representing their views in the Parliament.
(As an alert reader wryly noted: “Well, that’s a first. A one party state raises a motion against its own policy and defeats itself.”)
And we thought you’d like to be reminded that the Scottish Parliament was expressly designed from the beginning so that it would always work like that.
They must be pretty chuffed with how it’s turned out.
We haven’t said much about the huge furore whipped up by the Guardian in recent days around spurious allegations of racism/online abuse by supporters of Scottish independence, made first by Sadiq Khan and then by a deranged “Better Together” activist who also thinks all vegans are racist (or something).
Partly that’s because we covered the initial speech by Khan and the fallout from it pretty extensively, and partly because we didn’t want to feed the Guardian’s clickbait.
However, when the activist who was allegedly “hounded off Twitter” in fear for her life – fear caused by supposed comments that nobody has actually seen – miraculously recovered her bravery less than a week later (coincidentally just in time for the launch of her book), we thought it was probably time someone started keeping some records.
James on The Shortest Day: “The SNP troughers want gravy, now. As you know [and as has been explained numerous times by this sites author]…” Aug 29, 20:06
James on The Shortest Day: “Fish Face is the Chief Clown as you well know.” Aug 29, 20:01
Shug on The Shortest Day: “I wonder why nobe of them ecer have the balls to twll HO the f…. Off I stand by my…” Aug 29, 19:56
James on The Shortest Day: “That right, aye? Aye, nae rigged postal votes, nae peculiar toon cooncil type franchise, nae ootside political or media interference.…” Aug 29, 19:48
panda paws on The Shortest Day: ““John Swinney’s already upped the stakes by standing in front of a Glasgow crowd in his shortbread-tin outfit and lustily…” Aug 29, 19:12
Spartan 117 on The Shortest Day: “Errrrmmm, we had an independence vote in 2014 which resulted in independence being rejected. Voter turnout was very high (85%)…” Aug 29, 18:47
Dan on The Shortest Day: ““It was outside our price range, but we decided to do the right thing, sacrifice somewhere else and move to…” Aug 29, 18:45
James on The Slowest Dawning: “Aww…how sweet. Now, any Scot knows that one London registered Unionist party is much the same as another, but call…” Aug 29, 18:15
James Che on The Shortest Day: “The Scottish people themselves never voted to join a union, so why do a % of Scots need to vote…” Aug 29, 18:12
Dan on The Shortest Day: “Aye, TH, pretty much my thoughts too. Now if for example Dave Doogan had used his parliamentary privileged position to…” Aug 29, 18:09
Spartan 117 on The Shortest Day: “It’s literally written in the article and directly quoted… If people of your comprehension skills have a vote, is it…” Aug 29, 18:05
factchecker on The Shortest Day: “I often agree with Robert, but not here: “It (the SNP)has no desire for Independence, for to achieve such would…” Aug 29, 18:03
Spartan 117 on The Shortest Day: “What’s really shocking is anyone being in any way surprised at any of this. Post-Alex the SNP were always more…” Aug 29, 18:02
James Che on The Shortest Day: “Scotland declaring independence, UDI from a voluntary union, just leave and end the voluntary bit. Only Englands parliament is doing…” Aug 29, 17:59
James Che on The Shortest Day: “The independence door has been ajar for years, the SNP are just to Scared an feared to go near it…” Aug 29, 17:40
James Che on The Shortest Day: “How lame can the Snp become when they pretend to demand Scotlands democratic right to remove Scotland from a voluntary…” Aug 29, 17:18
robertkknight on The Shortest Day: “The SNP is all for maintaining the status quo for the benefit of SNP staffers and elected representatives. It has…” Aug 29, 17:08
Frank Gillougley on The Shortest Day: “Uncannily and entirely coincidentally, from Denis Johnson’s book, Tree of Smoke p.194: ”Do you know what makes me bitter above…” Aug 29, 16:48
twathater on The Shortest Day: “I am really concerned that you possibly gave ANY credibility to ANYTHING excreted by an snp mp , especially when…” Aug 29, 16:18
DaveL on The Shortest Day: “The man obviously has no self respect and has shown himself to be an everyday gravy bussing ‘yes man’, three…” Aug 29, 15:30
100%Yes on The Shortest Day: “If the Reform was to use a Westminster election to win Scottish voters in order to win an our right…” Aug 29, 15:28
Young Lochinvar on The Shortest Day: “Why is Swinney wearing a woman’s dressing gown, is he and Murray having a competition to see who looks like…” Aug 29, 15:24
Patsy Millar on The Shortest Day: “As for Brendan O’Hara, I can’t believe I stood out in the pouring rain with his name on my rosette…” Aug 29, 14:58
Radical Cartoons on The Shortest Day: “Wow,couldn’t have been put on the Naughty Step faster if he’d said men should stay out of the Ladies Loos!” Aug 29, 14:43
Mark Beggan on The Shortest Day: “Anybody? Does that include the Taliban or Antifa? and it feels like only yesterday that the very mention of Reform…” Aug 29, 14:38
duncanio on The Shortest Day: “Never trust a man who indoors wares sun-glasses on top of his head as if they were an alice band…” Aug 29, 14:06
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Shortest Day: ““The SNP will never work with Reform or do any deals with them” could not possibly be any more of…” Aug 29, 13:58
Mach1 on The Shortest Day: “Maybe you could read that all again, Geoff. Do it slowly” Aug 29, 13:51
100%Yes on The Shortest Day: “We just had a Holyrood election where the SNP stated two vote SNP to stop Reform and yet Reform won…” Aug 29, 13:45