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Here isn’t the news 163

Posted on May 11, 2017 by

Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.

Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:

“If we look at the expenses issue, we have seen all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists, being fined for mistakes having been made on national expenses. We’ve paid our fines, and I sincerely hope that the other parties are paying theirs.”

Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.

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Slicing the shrinking pie 194

Posted on May 10, 2017 by

In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.

But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.

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The new arithmetic 67

Posted on May 10, 2017 by

Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.

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A little more certainty 198

Posted on May 09, 2017 by

The BBC has just published an article explaining its controversial claim that the SNP actually lost seats at last week’s council elections, despite going from 425 to 431. The analysis was carried out by Prof. David Denver of Lancaster University, and we’d asked him about it yesterday.

He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.

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Kezia Dugdale Fact Check, Part 681 418

Posted on May 08, 2017 by

This one definitely looks dodgy.

We, um… we don’t think they DID show that, Kez.

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If France had Unionists 137

Posted on May 07, 2017 by

So the French presidential election result is in. And we’re getting early reactions:

Well, those are a bit weird, aren’t they?

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And the colours came running 237

Posted on May 07, 2017 by

Don’t say we didn’t warn you about this.

Because we’ve been telling you it was coming for half a decade.

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Accuracy, by Duncan 137

Posted on May 06, 2017 by

When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.

So exactly how “accurate” are we talking here?

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What they’re trying to sell you 129

Posted on May 06, 2017 by

It’s come to a pretty pass indeed when the Telegraph is the bastion of truth.

Because if you listened to the Unionist opposition and media today, you’d come away with a very different impression of what’s just happened.

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For their queen and their country 135

Posted on May 06, 2017 by

Winning and losing 178

Posted on May 05, 2017 by

Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.

Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.

So let’s have a quick review of the facts.

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Chinese arithmetic 120

Posted on May 05, 2017 by

With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.

You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.

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    • Spartan 117 on The Shortest Day: “Errrrmmm, we had an independence vote in 2014 which resulted in independence being rejected. Voter turnout was very high (85%)…Aug 29, 18:47
    • Dan on The Shortest Day: ““It was outside our price range, but we decided to do the right thing, sacrifice somewhere else and move to…Aug 29, 18:45
    • James on The Slowest Dawning: “Aww…how sweet. Now, any Scot knows that one London registered Unionist party is much the same as another, but call…Aug 29, 18:15
    • James Che on The Shortest Day: “The Scottish people themselves never voted to join a union, so why do a % of Scots need to vote…Aug 29, 18:12
    • Dan on The Shortest Day: “Aye, TH, pretty much my thoughts too. Now if for example Dave Doogan had used his parliamentary privileged position to…Aug 29, 18:09
    • Spartan 117 on The Shortest Day: “It’s literally written in the article and directly quoted… If people of your comprehension skills have a vote, is it…Aug 29, 18:05
    • factchecker on The Shortest Day: “I often agree with Robert, but not here: “It (the SNP)has no desire for Independence, for to achieve such would…Aug 29, 18:03
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    • Geoff Bush on The Shortest Day: “Not sure I agree with your analysis here Stu. I don’t detect any U-turn in what Dave Doogan said before…Aug 29, 13:26
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    • James Che on The Slowest Dawning: “North code, I like it,Aug 29, 11:56
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