Remember, readers, how last year “Better Together” tried to ridicule the fact that we’d put a satirical line about “space monsters” into one of the questions in our first Panelbase poll? Remember how it was the most absurd, stupid thing imaginable?
That was the UK Secretary of State for Defence, yesterday.
We honestly don’t understand how anyone with electricity in their house or a newsagent anywhere within a 30-mile radius can possibly come to say things like this:
Firstly, Elaine, we’d have to say that “it would be crazy” DOES actually sound like quite a strong view on independence to us. But in all seriousness, leaving all snark and sarcasm aside, how on Earth does a human being living in the UK in 2014, seemingly not inside any sort of secure institution, come to believe something like that?
Ms Coates isn’t some lone madwoman. Other people, also not resident in mental hospitals, say the same thing. And we get that lots of people aren’t into politics. But when it comes to ignorance about your own nation, being unaware that Scotland has oil is somewhere on a par with not knowing that Great Britain is an island. How in the world do you go through decades of adult life without ever picking up on that fact?
It’s not a rhetorical question. Can someone actually explain it to us?
We’ve just been watching the latest of the BBC’s big independence referendum debates, and we’d like the hour of our life we wasted back, please.
It wasn’t as though it was the worst we’ve seen by a long chalk. It was, if nothing else, relatively even-tempered, helped by some firm moderation by James Cook. Lesley Riddoch was as reliable, sensible and on top of the facts as she always is (although even we’re starting to get fed up of hearing her go on about Norway all the time). And while Brian Wilson is a dishonest and bilious wee nyaff, he does have the one huge saving grace that he isn’t Anas Sarwar.
But tell us this, readers – what was the point of it all?
Readers who may have been alarmed that the Scotsman hadn’t run any Michael Kelly columns for a while can breathe a sigh of relief this morning, as the role of “clueless idiot blithely spouting inflammatory and wrong-headed drivel about sectarianism and independence” is clearly in safe hands.
One of the great things about this site’s sky-high viewing figures is that on the rare occasions when we might be, for example, out having a walk in the park to get over the crushing disappointment of somehow losing yet another Scottish Cup semi-final, our ever-vigilant readers will remain alert.
Even Sparta’s mythical iron-bar currency – specifically designed, so legend had it, to shackle the economy by being too heavy to buy or trade anything – was marginally better, in Alistair Darling’s view, than anything an independent Scotland might be able to use for money, all of which will lead to inevitable doom.
Because Scotland, as all good unionists know, is the only country in world history for which there is no currency option that will work at all.
Have you seen the film of the coronation? I’m not talking about the grand televised extravaganza in Westminster Abbey with the young Queen Elizabeth done up like a wedding cake – I mean the Scottish coronation, in Edinburgh, three weeks after the glamorous London ceremony of 2 June 1953.
It’s not easy to locate. You’ll struggle to find a picture of it, or even a documented reference – a brief casual mention squeezed in right at the end of this article on the monarchical website is the best we could do.
Acting on the advice of her ministers, Elizabeth attended the ceremony dressed in an ordinary coat and hat. The honours of Scotland were presented to her, and she held them as if they were volatile explosive devices, standing stock-still until they were taken back again by be-gowned flunkies.
There would be no actual official crowning. It might give the natives ideas.
It seems that we’re letting the side down a bit here. If the same percentage of us were willing to vote Yes as the men, we’d be home and dry come September 18th, living in a nuclear-weapon-free democracy for the first time in our lives. But it seems like a lot of us are either not convinced or haven’t begun thinking about it yet.
I don’t believe it’s the former: anyone genuinely looking at the arguments, not to mention the behaviour of those on both sides of the debate, could hardly fail to be convinced that independence is a good thing. So I’m guessing it might be the latter.
We didn’t do a stats post at the start of April (still just under 4m pageviews a month, if you’re curious) but when someone tweeted these figures this morning we thought they were worth a wee toot, because they’re more than just nice news for us.
They’re from the independent web-traffic analysis site Alexa.com, and they detail the relative rankings for the seven biggest dedicated Scottish politics sites on the web.
We’ve had these sitting around for a few days without getting round to posting them, but as we’re currently knee-deep in the last tranche of data from our Panelbase poll, it seemed as good a time as any to clear the decks.
First up in the ambiguously-named Posterotron is the “respectable” face of British nationalism, in the form of UKIP European-election candidate David Coburn.
Northcode on Anything But That: “I support Scottish independence, but I’ve grown weary of the flawed rhetoric deployed in its name. When a movement clings…” Sep 6, 15:50
sam on Anything But That: “I think your final paragraph needs to be amended. Scottish people need to be able to hold a referendum at…” Sep 6, 15:46
Northcode on Anything But That: ““The UK Constitution…A bit of a myth that, point me to the stirring single document…” I’m not sure of the…” Sep 6, 15:44
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “B Top ten in spending on military eh? I wonder how much of that is spent on the money-pit “nuclear…” Sep 6, 15:31
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “The UN is the record keeper of war. They list the conflicts in the world, keep records, take statements, give…” Sep 6, 15:17
Young Lochinvar on Anything But That: “NC The UK Constitution.. A bit of a myth that, point me to the stirring single document will you? I’d…” Sep 6, 14:59
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Any relation to Darius the Great? “subjugated Thrace and forced Macedon to become a fully subordinate client kingdom within the…” Sep 6, 14:59
agentx on Anything But That: “Ultimately, while pro-independence groups look to the UN Charter as an overarching moral and political justification for independence, the UN’s…” Sep 6, 14:11
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “Shut up and eat your Lembas bread. You pointy eared trouble maker.” Sep 6, 14:00
Mark Beggan on Anything But That: “I thought it would be obvious. He has the woke disease. The symptoms can be quite easy to spot; Constant…” Sep 6, 13:57
Insider on Anything But That: “Bloody hell, Northy ! You’re beginning to talk sense for a change ! What happened to you ?” Sep 6, 12:57
Captain Caveman on Anything But That: “So it’s true then: Alf’s much-vaunted UN delusion will achieve… … “Hee-Haw”, to coin a phrase. I’m sure much of…” Sep 6, 12:57
sam on Anything But That: “The Convention declaration does not change the legal position. The claim of right was debated in the HoC and Sec…” Sep 6, 12:36
Northcode on Anything But That: “For those who might have fallen under the delusion that the United Nations is planning to liberate the Scots from…” Sep 6, 12:27
James Che on Anything But That: “Bilbo, Without a active 1707 treaty between Scotland and England, Scotland is not in a national debt situation with the…” Sep 6, 12:25
sam on Anything But That: “But… another one ” We, gathered as the Scottish Constitutional Convention, do hereby acknowledge the sovereign right of the Scottish…” Sep 6, 12:21
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “What’s the point? Even if we managed to fit it up for serious sexual assault, it would be out again…” Sep 6, 12:21
James Che on Anything But That: “Bilbo. Here is another thought to mull over, If Scotland is a independent Country since the 1707 treaty of unions…” Sep 6, 12:17
Hatey McHateface on Anything But That: “Of course! Duh! But it requires a hard-nosed realism at odds with the feel good vibes that an entire generation…” Sep 6, 12:16
Northcode on Anything But That: ““So what happens now the treaty of union has passed its sell by date…” Well… we could have it framed…” Sep 6, 12:08
Northcode on Anything But That: “The truth is this: The Treaty of Union is no longer a live international treaty. It’s a historical document whose…” Sep 6, 12:03
James Che on Anything But That: “Has Westminster parliament informed the UN that the 1707 treaty between Scotland and England has come to its end date?…” Sep 6, 11:54
Bilbo on Anything But That: “I was thinking about Prof Alf Baird’s posts about how an independent Scotland wouldn’t be burdened with the financial ambitions…” Sep 6, 11:48
James Che on Anything But That: “So the 1707 treaty of union that is wrote down on old parchment paper no longer exist as a treaty…” Sep 6, 11:36
Bilbo on Anything But That: “No point interacting with wee guttersnipes like Beggan.” Sep 6, 11:36
TURABDIN on Anything But That: “@Hatey McHateface I am no apologist for the theocratic system currently gripping Ir@n but that system is not Ir@n per…” Sep 6, 11:32
James Che on Anything But That: “North code, The comment you made was a bit contradictory in its overall veiw on international treaties. The old treaty…” Sep 6, 11:25
factchecker on Anything But That: “More good sense. Additionally, I would suggest that the Claim of Right was in reality simply a political negotiating tool…” Sep 6, 11:18
Alf Baird on Anything But That: ““I do believe he is shedding his skin” Maybe its the shock of finally realising the cost for Scots of…” Sep 6, 11:01