Readers who may have been alarmed that the Scotsman hadn’t run any Michael Kelly columns for a while can breathe a sigh of relief this morning, as the role of “clueless idiot blithely spouting inflammatory and wrong-headed drivel about sectarianism and independence” is clearly in safe hands.
One of the great things about this site’s sky-high viewing figures is that on the rare occasions when we might be, for example, out having a walk in the park to get over the crushing disappointment of somehow losing yet another Scottish Cup semi-final, our ever-vigilant readers will remain alert.
Even Sparta’s mythical iron-bar currency – specifically designed, so legend had it, to shackle the economy by being too heavy to buy or trade anything – was marginally better, in Alistair Darling’s view, than anything an independent Scotland might be able to use for money, all of which will lead to inevitable doom.
Because Scotland, as all good unionists know, is the only country in world history for which there is no currency option that will work at all.
Have you seen the film of the coronation? I’m not talking about the grand televised extravaganza in Westminster Abbey with the young Queen Elizabeth done up like a wedding cake – I mean the Scottish coronation, in Edinburgh, three weeks after the glamorous London ceremony of 2 June 1953.
It’s not easy to locate. You’ll struggle to find a picture of it, or even a documented reference – a brief casual mention squeezed in right at the end of this article on the monarchical website is the best we could do.
Acting on the advice of her ministers, Elizabeth attended the ceremony dressed in an ordinary coat and hat. The honours of Scotland were presented to her, and she held them as if they were volatile explosive devices, standing stock-still until they were taken back again by be-gowned flunkies.
There would be no actual official crowning. It might give the natives ideas.
It seems that we’re letting the side down a bit here. If the same percentage of us were willing to vote Yes as the men, we’d be home and dry come September 18th, living in a nuclear-weapon-free democracy for the first time in our lives. But it seems like a lot of us are either not convinced or haven’t begun thinking about it yet.
I don’t believe it’s the former: anyone genuinely looking at the arguments, not to mention the behaviour of those on both sides of the debate, could hardly fail to be convinced that independence is a good thing. So I’m guessing it might be the latter.
We didn’t do a stats post at the start of April (still just under 4m pageviews a month, if you’re curious) but when someone tweeted these figures this morning we thought they were worth a wee toot, because they’re more than just nice news for us.
They’re from the independent web-traffic analysis site Alexa.com, and they detail the relative rankings for the seven biggest dedicated Scottish politics sites on the web.
We’ve had these sitting around for a few days without getting round to posting them, but as we’re currently knee-deep in the last tranche of data from our Panelbase poll, it seemed as good a time as any to clear the decks.
First up in the ambiguously-named Posterotron is the “respectable” face of British nationalism, in the form of UKIP European-election candidate David Coburn.
The image below depicts three of what have been at least four different versions of the Scotsman’s story about our latest Panelbase poll. (So far, that is – who knows what might happen in an hour’s time?)
They show a fascinating evolution of editorial line, wouldn’t you say?
Earlier today we highlighted two pieces of disgraceful, mendacious smearing by The Scotsman, in conjunction with an “anonymous” Labour MP. The articles coincided with a wider campaign of demonisation across most of the Scottish and UK media against supporters of independence, backed up by elected Labour representatives on social media in what might easily be seen as a co-ordinated attack.
The tweets above are from the account of semi-literate Labour councillor for East Kilbride, James Docherty. They follow a week in which the Edinburgh South MP Ian Murray described the placing of one or more small “Yes 2014” stickers on his constituency office windows as an “out of control” escalation of intimidation and Alistair Darling accused some people objecting to a businessman sending a document full of scaremongering lies to 500 employees of his company as “shaming Scotland”.
These hysterical smears would be laughable were it not for the consequences they may yet bring about. We highlight some of those consequences below.
As someone who’s kept them as pets for over 20 years, I know a thing or two about rats. Intelligent and affectionate creatures, individuals nevertheless have very distinct personalities, and occasionally you’ll get a timid and/or grumpy one. Those take a lot of care, patience and attention to bring out of their shell, and until that point they may try to escape and hide in the tiniest, darkest, most inaccessible corner of the house.
When found, and with all escape routes blocked off, these tiny creatures become incredibly ferocious. They have very long, razor-sharp teeth and move with astonishing speed, and won’t hesitate to attack something hundreds of times their size. Any long-term rat owner will have a few small but permanent battle scars.
Aidan on Pandora’s Campervan: “Let’s think back to 2019 in terms of political events: – there was likely to be a UK General Election…” Jun 3, 07:06
Aidan on Pandora’s Campervan: ““Begs the questuon, why did the Crown feel they had to agree to a deal? Could they not have proved…” Jun 3, 06:56
Aidan on Pandora’s Campervan: “LOL I guess WW2 didn’t happen then YL? How would you also protect Scotland’s offshore oil/gas and wind assets from…” Jun 3, 06:43
100%Yes on Pandora’s Campervan: “Well done Wings, you deserve credit for bring the biggest Story in Scotland for some time. I watched you on…” Jun 3, 06:29
JockMcT on Pandora’s Campervan: “Top down, obsessed with authority, control and secrecy. All heads in trough, shoulder to shoulder, hungrily gulping it down with…” Jun 3, 05:46
Radical Cartoons on Pandora’s Campervan: “Congratulations on being interviewed by STV. It’s almost as if you’re being treated as a (gasp) actual journalist, after all…” Jun 3, 05:23
Effijy on Pandora’s Campervan: “Why on earth hasn’t most of this money been recovered or is in the process of being recovered? Surely at…” Jun 3, 05:11
Young Lochinvar on Pandora’s Campervan: “Which is presupposed on the assumption that Scotland militarily will continue militarily along the lines of current and ongoing UK…” Jun 3, 01:59
Young Lochinvar on Pandora’s Campervan: “Geri Maybe that’s why church-man Swinney has blocked an independent enquiry..” Jun 3, 01:42
Young Lochinvar on Pandora’s Campervan: “Lorncal I used to hold your comments in high regard. But; Sigh.. You just can’t help yourself. If she didn’t…” Jun 3, 01:38
Young Lochinvar on Pandora’s Campervan: “A I’ve already mentioned that.. And what do they do? Sling it (if not already done) and pretend it never…” Jun 3, 01:19
Geri on Pandora’s Campervan: ““Swinney is in charge of Scotland – a Country.” He isn’t FFS! Else we’d have had a referendum years ago…” Jun 3, 01:16
Young Lochinvar on Pandora’s Campervan: “Rev I would have told them to eff off for referring to your site as “controversial”! We all know who…” Jun 3, 01:03
Geri on Pandora’s Campervan: “Cause then people have to talk, under oath. & They can’t have that sort of thing. It’d be unpredictable who’d…” Jun 3, 00:36
Young Lochinvar on Pandora’s Campervan: “CC Probably because big Unionist politicians receive eye watering donations so are “already in the money”. Don’t get me wrong,…” Jun 3, 00:28
Cynicus on Pandora’s Campervan: ““…. like Stalin’s granny …. “ ========= There is a real blast from the past! It is usually applied to…” Jun 3, 00:21
Anthem on Pandora’s Campervan: “Just a thought. I wonder if anyone has considered that the alphabeties or Liz Lloyd has been in receipt of…” Jun 3, 00:10
James on Pandora’s Campervan: “Spot on, Alf. The usual suspects disagree. For obvious reasons.” Jun 3, 00:08
Colin Dawson on Pandora’s Campervan: “ISTR that SNP MSPs and MPs were each required to donate £250 per month from their salaries to cover SNP…” Jun 2, 23:40
Oneliner on Pandora’s Campervan: “Good one Alf. That’ll bring the post-imperial sentimentalists out.” Jun 2, 23:30
TURABDIN on Pandora’s Campervan: “Prof Malcolm Chalmers, deputy director of the Royal United Services Institute, said the Scottish National Party (SNP) would be forced…” Jun 2, 23:28
Lorncal on Pandora’s Campervan: “Indeed, to my mind, there never was any intention from 2014 onwards to do anything about a referendum or independence…” Jun 2, 21:49
Patrick Roden on Pandora’s Campervan: “The thing that really makes my piss boil, is that We now know for 100% certain that the people who…” Jun 2, 21:16
Morgatron on Pandora’s Campervan: “I am as excited, can’t wait Stu.” Jun 2, 20:50
Andrew Morton on Pandora’s Campervan: “Re Frank Waring’s comment, it certainly is a criminal offence to raise money for a specific purpose only to use…” Jun 2, 20:44
Captain Caveman on Pandora’s Campervan: ““The unionist media have been wanking themselves blind in excitement over this. And why shouldn’t they?” Well, yes. Why indeed.” Jun 2, 20:20
Onlooker on Pandora’s Campervan: “If you’re part-head honcho of a party, and don’t like being so, with your wife being the main (s)limelight-dweller…and if…” Jun 2, 19:49
Onlooker on Pandora’s Campervan: “The unionist media have been wanking themselves blind in excitement over this. And why shouldn’t they? That bastard Murrell handed…” Jun 2, 19:45
Bilbo on Pandora’s Campervan: “Whose thinking that this whole sordid episode is going to be made into a TV show by Channel 5 next…” Jun 2, 19:39