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Lying right to your face 106

Posted on August 28, 2016 by

Dismayingly often, the thing that irritates us the most about the Unionist press lying to its readers isn’t the fact that they’re doing it, but the fact that they do it so insultingly badly. As an illustrative case in point, here’s the Sunday Times’ reliably dull-witted Scottish columnist Gillian Bowditch today:

gbow

Now, let’s be generous and ignore the honkingly stupid first paragraph, which paints a couple of exceptional bad years as a permanent status, and focus on the second one.

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GERS: The Movie 143

Posted on August 27, 2016 by

cringe

How to lose forever 91

Posted on August 26, 2016 by

This is the demented, McCarthyite state of madness the Labour Party has reached:

hothersallisatwat

This is a party now openly rejecting anyone as a member who has ever supported any other party. We’d take a minute to try to explain to them how the arithmetic of that one works out, but they’re a long, long way beyond the grasp of reason now.

Living in a world of quicksand 181

Posted on August 26, 2016 by

Scottish Labour won a council by-election in Fife last night, held after the long-serving Communist Party/independent councillor Willie Clarke (who can be seen on the last page of our Charlie Hebdo feature here) stepped down due to ill health.

fifetide

The successful candidate Mary Lockhart was understandably jubilant, but there were a couple of what seemed like pertinent facts missing from the local paper’s report.

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More phantom news 451

Posted on August 19, 2016 by

For several years now this site has been drawing attention to the weird phenomenon of phantom news – stories presented by the media without even a shred of supporting evidence yet treated as unquestionable empirical fact. And recently there have been more phantoms around the Scottish press than an episode of Scooby Doo.

rodendaisley

The thing Alan Roden – who prefers intimidating ordinary members of the public by doorstepping them and vilifying them in his paper – links to in that tweet is an article on the Herald website last night. And it’s a weird article, because it’s an extensive, quote-laden story about something that doesn’t appear to have happened at all.

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Swinging free 290

Posted on August 17, 2016 by

Alert readers may have noticed reports in the press that the famous French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo this month carried a four-page feature on the state of politics in Scotland, having sent two of its senior staff – accompanied by their French police bodyguard – over to conduct a series of interviews.

charliefrench

We thought you might like to see it, so we commissioned a translated version.

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Making your minds up 121

Posted on August 16, 2016 by

Here’s the BBC reporting Kezia Dugdale’s speech at the opening session of the new Scottish Parliament, less than three months ago:

simdugdale

It seems the Scottish Labour leader’s had a change of heart since then.

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Iron seas 218

Posted on August 15, 2016 by

The Scottish media has worked itself into an indignant froth over the last few days about the appearance of Sputnik News – an Edinburgh-based arm of a publicly-owned, state-run Russian news agency, fronted by (among others) former Dateline Scotland and NewsShaft stars Jack Foster and Carolyn Scott.

(Any resemblance to publicly-owned, state-run national news agencies of questionable impartiality in other countries is of course entirely coincidental and totally different.)

The Sunday Herald ran a bizarre smear piece yesterday on the pair’s past fundraising initiatives for their two previous projects (which were obviously completely unrelated to Sputnik), and today’s Times has an even weirder column by Melanie Reid in which Foster and Scott are directly and startlingly compared to the Cuban Missile Crisis:

sputnik

We tried, for the purposes of satire, to think of another country that played host to nuclear missiles that were controversially imposed on it by an external government, but unfortunately we couldn’t come up with anything. Sorry about that.

Well-orchestrated competence of the year 256

Posted on August 13, 2016 by

pissup

Tories Together 192

Posted on August 12, 2016 by

Annie Wells and Brian Whittle are two new Conservative MSPs. Look how happy and excited they are today at Labour winning a council by-election from the SNP.

wellswhittle

The SNP candidate actually won comfortably on first-preference votes, but was edged out at the sixth count under the Single Transferable Vote system when 78% of Tory voters gave their second preference to Labour (whose own vote fell 7%).

We’re trying to think of a good reason why they’re still two separate parties, but to be honest with you, readers, we’re coming up short.

It’s that story again! 246

Posted on August 11, 2016 by

No, we’re not referring to the Spectator’s awful reheated whine from super-Unionist composer Sir James Macmillan, Knight Commander Of The Most Excellent Order Of The British Empire, in which he takes the audacious step of accusing some OTHER artistes of cravenly kowtowing to the establishment.

(A complaint he’s been levelling for several years in any publication that’ll listen, and which today’s piece hasn’t bothered to update with any post-2014 examples.)

We’re actually talking about this:

pjgaelic

Because this one’s even older.

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A new challenger appears 75

Posted on August 11, 2016 by

We thought yesterday’s Herald story – about a Scottish Government initiative designed to increase visitor numbers to island communities “backfiring” when it, er, increased visitor numbers to island communities – would be hard to top for this month’s SNP BAD Award, but when the paper grudgingly amended it a few hours later it seemed we’d have to look for a new contender.

smokemirrors

Luckily we didn’t have long to wait.

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    • 100%Yes on Vibecoding A Better World: “Usually when you give money that’s the end of it, I’ve never heard of something like this happening but then…” Nov 4, 17:03
    • Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cqn734d24l0go I see the Fuckwits-on-Thames have published a bill to outlaw new oil and gas drilling. They really do want…” Nov 4, 16:45
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““could face up to five years in prison” Michty! Why seek to persuade somebody when you could kill them and…” Nov 4, 15:29
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Vibecoding A Better World: “TELLING SOMEONE ‘YOU ARE NOT A CAT’ COULD BE ILLEGAL UNDER GOVT’S CONVERSION PRACTICES BILL Attempting to convince a person…” Nov 4, 13:33
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “I’m sure there is a message somewhere within that barely legible blether. Doubt it’s worth spending any time working out…” Nov 4, 13:29
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Surely the donors should be notified and be able to claim their money?” Like the donors to the ring-fenced Referendum…” Nov 4, 12:53
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Naw ye cannae” That’s what the academics call a truism when applied to you, James. “Naw ye cannae” describes you…” Nov 4, 12:41
    • sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “O/T: Does anyone here know if a donor can retrieve their donation from a crowdfunder that has been closed by…” Nov 4, 12:31
    • James on Vibecoding A Better World: ““…Birds of a feather eh, you thick lefty twat….” Hark; behold the wisdom of the benefactor unionists, ocean going shits…” Nov 4, 12:28
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““better not feck with my muesli” Alert readers of Viz will recall that discussions of which foodstuffs can and can’t…” Nov 4, 12:12
    • Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “Regardless of what’s happening over there, it remains a deeply divided nation with clowns to the left and jokers to…” Nov 4, 12:06
    • Spartan 117 on Vibecoding A Better World: “Err, ok. Care to elaborate?” Nov 4, 11:51
    • Minceheid on Vibecoding A Better World: “Hatey McHateface says: 4 November, 2026 at 10:10 am Tumbleweed this morning, as the fall from power and influence of…” Nov 4, 11:36
    • DaveL on Vibecoding A Better World: “Are you drunk?” Nov 4, 11:23
    • thrope on Vibecoding A Better World: “Dear Stu GIRFUY good luck defending fascism and fascists when your benefactor has met a woodchipper regards” Nov 4, 10:58
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Tumbleweed this morning, as the fall from power and influence of Scotland’s greatest living half-Scot is enacted on live TV.…” Nov 4, 10:10
    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “Heh, hark at you “Blockheaded Bracegirdle”, aligning yourself with “James”, a numbskull abusive troll whose entire contribution here is shouting…” Nov 3, 19:26
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “If you mean Mark Beggan, he’s sorely missed. They weren’t gibberish BTW. They were clever, witty and often very funny.…” Nov 3, 19:06
    • Bilbo on Vibecoding A Better World: “James, you should be grateful that there are only 3 of them now. Thankfully that halfwit who was flooding BTL…” Nov 3, 18:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Believe it or not, James, no word of a lie, I was just thinking about you. I was wondering if…” Nov 3, 16:33
    • James on Vibecoding A Better World: “Four piles of steaming unionist shite in row there from the the three ‘all day, every day’ charlatan snake oil…” Nov 3, 13:40
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Aidan A good synopsis. Brexit taught those with eyes to see two things: 1) It’s a lot more difficult to…” Nov 3, 13:35
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Let me guess Alf, the plan is; A) build an enormous port in the middle of nowhere; B) watch the…” Nov 3, 13:06
    • Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “It’s a odd situation re Scottish independence, it enjoys significant support within the general population, but; – in my view…” Nov 3, 13:05
    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: “I can relate, believe me. Your principal problem is this: the Indy Movement is mainly comprised of lefties – the…” Nov 3, 12:23
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@CC We would have to study the writings of the post colonial boys and who wants to do that? My…” Nov 3, 12:01
    • Captain Caveman on Vibecoding A Better World: ““Every geriatric Scottish arse from John O’ Groats to Gretna going unwiped forever” Perhaps the Prof has a greater personal…” Nov 3, 11:16
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “A nice photo from the hated Mail Online this morning: https://www.dailymail.com/debate/article-16259803/DANIEL-HANNAN-Picture-sums-entire-migrant-industry-regards-taxpayers-country.html Seems like some bint in the HoC announced yesterday…” Nov 3, 10:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““we know from postcolonial theory” Of course we do, Alf. Such a shame we still know SFA about what to…” Nov 3, 10:26
    • Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: ““tell the current collection of clattering clownwits infesting Holyrood to not bother coming back from their holidays” The Rev makes…” Nov 3, 09:48
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