The First Minister released a short film this week.
While it has the character of a hostage video, with terrorists just off-camera pointing a gun at the unfortunate victim and forcing them to read out a pre-prepared text, sadly we doubt that was the case. We think this is really what she believes and intends.
We’ve been racking our brains for a few hours now, but we still haven’t been able to think of a single UK citizen of the last 100 years – indeed, probably the last 300 – who has terrified the British establishment more than Alexander Elliot Anderson Salmond.
By any conceivable measure Salmond is the most successful Scottish politician of all time. He’s the only one to date to have won a (supposedly impossible) majority in the Scottish Parliament, the only one to have secured an independence referendum, and the man who took Scotland to the brink of regaining its democracy, where – despite the best efforts of his successor – it still just about remains.
He survived a uniformly hostile media for 20 years as SNP leader, then also survived a corrupt and criminal conspiracy within his own former party to have him imprisoned, walking out of court a free and innocent man despite a two-year smear campaign in the press and a police and government operation of unprecedented scale trying to convict him.
(A point that hasn’t been made enough in coverage of the entire fiasco is the amount of police resources which were devoted to the case. Ask the average woman who’s alleged a sexual assault below the level of rape – or indeed an actual rape – if SHE got a team of two dozen dedicated police officers interviewing over 400 people at a cost of millions of pounds to try to firm up HER claim.)
So you’d think that when he formed a brand-new political party, which got numerous elected representatives from the SNP to defect to it, and contested a notionally-crucial Scottish general election, it would sound like a work of absurdist dystopian fiction if one were to suggest the media would exclude it from even participating in televised election debates in a manner more befitting North Korea than a Western democracy.
Yesterday we mentioned an SNP election leaflet that someone had posted on social media. It turns out that either deliberately or accidentally (probably the latter, while taking out the bit with their name and address on it) they’d cropped off part of it containing a logo that does passingly refer to independence. You can see it down at the bottom-right corner.
So we should note that by way of clarification. But what’s more interesting about the rest of the leaflet is that if you took the logos off it, it could be from literally ANY of the parties contesting the election. It contains no policies whatsoever, just some general feelgood sloganeering. Which parties, do you suppose, are campaigning AGAINST “equipping children to succeed” or “supporting businesses” or “creating jobs”?
The deeper truth is that the leaflet demonstrates how completely pointless this election actually is, because nothing you do with your vote next month is going to affect anything that happens in the subsequent five years. Only one party is going to win, and once they do it won’t matter what’s in the 76-page “manifesto” they released today. The manifesto is a fake – in reality it amounts to a single line: “keep us in power so we can fill our pockets and do whatever we like for another half a decade, suckers”.
Not for the first time, a certain section of society in Scotland and elsewhere is today engaged in the furious insistence that words don’t mean what they actually mean.
The words above are not ambiguous. They call for the “elimination” of “all laws limiting [the] legal capacity of adolescents […] to consent to sex”. The only laws which limit the legal capacity of adolescents – people aged from 10 to 19, according to both the World Health Organisation and the United Nations – to consent to sex are age of consent laws. The clue is somewhat in the name.
If organisations don’t want those laws abolished so that 10-year-olds can have sex, then they shouldn’t sign their names to statements saying that they do.
At the weekend we all beheld the bizarre sight of two supposed investigative Scottish politics journalists sneering and trying to play down what appeared to be a genuinely major story about a live police inquiry into a possible £600,000 criminal fraud involving the party of government in Scotland.
Both of them work for the same rival outlet, so the most generous interpretation that could reasonably be put on their curious behaviour is that they were simply trying to focus attention instead on that outlet’s own big Sunday splash – also ostensibly a story of political fraud, albeit on a much smaller scale.
So let’s just clear that one up now to help them out.
It’s already getting hard to keep up with the string of well-kent faces and veteran indy campaigners leaving the SNP to join Alex Salmond’s new Alba Party.
Any time you’re not sure whether something that happens in Scottish politics is good or bad for the cause of independence, here’s a top tip for you: see how the enemies of independence feel about it.
“Running scared” would seem to be a fair, if understated, summary.
Hey folks, remember the happy days when indyref 2 was going to be in “the first half” of the next Parliament? Well, here comes the totally surprising and unexpected news.
This was Ian Blackford on Sky News yesterday, quietly confirming that at best we can expect it in the SECOND half of the Parliament, ie 2024 at the earliest. (And that’s with all the usual waffly evasiveness about how it could be achieved.)
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “An interesting discussion on the codification of two-tier treatment under law by Starmer’s government: https://unherd.com/newsroom/labours-islamophobia-definition-deserves-to-die/ It seems that if you…” Mar 6, 07:54
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Nae probs, Northy, ah’m foand o purposes an a’. Dolphins an muckle whales tae.” Mar 6, 07:20
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Scots remain subject only to English governance and English laws” So there is no such thing as Scots Law, Alf?…” Mar 6, 07:16
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Immigration […] generally within its legal and social framework” There you go, Northy, the words in your own post that…” Mar 6, 07:07
Young Lochinvar on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “HMcH What do you call it? A skid mark?? And no deflection by projection for once eh?! Posted in the…” Mar 6, 04:08
Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Doha where my parents live is in semi lockdown. People are scared to go out. The mood is growing anti…” Mar 6, 02:06
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Surely, for the colonised, it is always “our” government?” Not so. Since annexation in 1707 Scots remain subject only to…” Mar 5, 23:19
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Interesting, Fearghas, but I’m afraid I no longer trust Alba – I’m not entirely sure I ever did. The refusal…” Mar 5, 22:22
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I have an urge to scribble doun some Scots words and post them to this place: Tho we hamespun Scottis…” Mar 5, 21:47
Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “To compare colonisation wth immigration is a false equivalence. Here is a modern definition of colonialism: ” [colonialism] depends first…” Mar 5, 21:21
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “ALBA CONTINUATION GROUP WELCOMES MACASKILL’S POSITIVE ENGAGEMENT PRESS RELEASE For Immediate Release Alba Continuation Group Welcomes MacAskill Engagement as Members…” Mar 5, 20:15
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Excellent points, Lorncal. Both gender woowoo and multiculturalism have another thing in common – we, the people, were never asked…” Mar 5, 18:49
Lorncal on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “H McH: the thing about decolonisation is that it rarely turns out the way you thought it might before you…” Mar 5, 18:19
Young Lochinvar on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “So very New Testament of you HMcH It’s much older; Lilith then Cain kicked it all off for the Abrahamics..” Mar 5, 17:51
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “When the Eagle soars and the Lion roars the world stands still. America is waiting.” Mar 5, 17:38
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Be more like Spain” In early 2026, Spain agreed to unilaterally grant legal residence and work permits to approximately 500,000…” Mar 5, 17:12
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Did you hear that on the street like yesterday? Crivens. Fit an interesting street ye hing oot oan!” Mar 5, 17:03
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Surely, for the colonised, it is always “our” government? It’s the post colonised for whom it isn’t. I don’t have…” Mar 5, 16:58
Mark Beggan on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I thought you would still be mourning the elimination of the father of post colonial theocracy. From my reckoning you…” Mar 5, 16:50
Fordy on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Been saying that since Sturgeon was first minister all the faux grievances with Westminster is just to keep the sheep…” Mar 5, 16:24
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““our government” ? For the colonized it is never ‘our’ government.” Mar 5, 15:48
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The English keep voting for these parasites. They’re lazy, they don’t even get off their arse & threaten to physically…” Mar 5, 15:31
Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Last I heard it’s basically over for the yanks. Iran sent a £600 drone that bypassed the American billion dollar,…” Mar 5, 15:17
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “MSM reporting the Home Secretary wants to sub asylum seeker families to the tune of £40,000 to sling their hooks.…” Mar 5, 14:50
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Isn’t that a Catholic thing? I don’t think they call it a shambles, though.” Mar 5, 14:42
Young Lochinvar on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Alf The impact of extended Scotchland Office lunch “hour” tea trolley duties away from the internet.. Quack quack 🙂” Mar 5, 14:37
Young Lochinvar on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “4 fighters to Qatar, 1 frigate to Cyprus (sometime), 2 helicopters to Cyprus and 1 charter repatriation flight (eventually).. World…” Mar 5, 14:32
Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Both poles of the Baird/Northy axis have been absent until today. So, little of worth that merited responding to. Can…” Mar 5, 14:28
Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Tut tut, only 13 out of 46 comments here for Hatety ower Scotland. Ye’ve drapped belaw yer usual 30%.” Mar 5, 13:54