Wings Over Scotland

So we’ve now had David Cameron, David Mitchell and David Bowie all “lovebombing” Scotland with pleas to stay in the Union (as assorted Tory ministers and their Labour and Lib Dem hangers-on lurk in the shadows a few feet away tapping knuckle-dusters into their palms and making throat-slitting gestures in our direction).

But the big question is, which David would you like to see try it next?

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A second Unionist politician in a week doesn’t want to face STV’s questions.

What is it with cowardly Chancellors at the moment?

We always feel a bit bad when we point out in the interests of reality that Labour isn’t going to win the 2015 general election, because notwithstanding the fact that they’re only actually about 1% to the left of the Tories, 1% is still better than nothing.

And as we’re having a bit of an Ed Miliband day today, we thought we should do something constructive for the millionaire leader of the People’s Party for balance, so we’ve put together a nice picture gallery of Not Very Red Ed to show how at ease he is meeting members of the public, and how if he gets elected he’ll be closely in touch with the concerns of ordinary hard-working people.

Take comfort, readers. The Milibot 3000 is ++ ON YOUR SIDE ++.

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[Tristan: this is my first draft. Give it a once-over, there’s a chap. DC.]

People of England, Wales and Northern Ireland!

Scotland! Stop pulling that face. This is about you, but it’s not for you. Daddy’s speaking to the other children now. Don’t interrupt. Why? Because it’s rude. Look, I don’t care if that IS what Evan Davis does on the Today programme. Evan is a big boy, so he knows when he needs to step in to stop you embarrassing yourself.

Sorry, everyone, I’m afraid Scotland is a bit tired and crabby this morning. Must have had a little too much Irn Bru last night. [Pause here for laughter.] Anyway, we have lots to talk about, so let’s ignore their high-pitched whining and get on.

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This sort of thing really shouldn’t be so startling and unusual that we feel we need to preserve it for posterity, but here’s someone on a BBC current-affairs programme giving a fair and balanced analysis of Scottish politics:

Based on the BBC’s track record this section will be missing when it goes out on the iPlayer, so we thought we better grab it while we could.

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This afternoon we reluctantly watched some of the House Of Commons debate entitled “Scotland’s Place In The UK”, because it’s our job. It was as dispiriting as its arrogant and presumptuous title suggests, and we could bear no more by about a third of the way through and went off to do something less annoying, like thread a muddy needle under a stroboscope while wearing boxing gloves and listening to One Direction.

Nevertheless, we managed to pick out a few choice lines at the time, and a few more from Hansard this evening, with our blood pressure soothed by merely having to read, not watch, Labour, Lib Dem and Tory MPs alike braying and hooting throughout, behaving with a lack of dignity and class that would have shamed a chimp’s tea party.

(Or as Labour’s Willie Bain put it, “the best of the House of Commons”.)

The winner is below.

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On the eve of Wings Over Scotland’s 2000th post, we thought we’d celebrate.

Because today we learned something strange.

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Readers, you can’t begin to imagine how much stuff happens. Seriously, it’s going on EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. You’d think there’d be lulls now and again, but people just keep doing things. It’s annoying.

Throughout the day, we’ll see or be sent roughly a billion links, and because otherwise you’d never keep up with Twitter alone, what you do is click any that sound interesting to open them in a tab, then go and actually read them later when you’ve got the time.

Unfortunately there are always more things than time (like, WAY more), so you end up having a huge backlog of tabs that you either haven’t read, or have read but haven’t got round to writing something about yet.

We’ve just had a brutal pruning of Firefox and we’ve still got 76 open, so to let us get a few more closed we’re just going to stick some of the ones we HAVE read here and you can go through any you like the sound of for yourselves. They’re all good.

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The Guardian tonight reports, by way of covering Johann Lamont’s debacle at First Minister’s Questions today, an interesting snippet related to our post of earlier today:

“The pro-UK Better Together campaign announced that it was to distribute half a million leaflets at railway stations, homes and high streets in Scotland this weekend with the single word “goodbye” on its front page, the O letters replaced by pound coins.”

Half a million? This weekend? Are we sure about that?

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There’s been a nice graphic going round social media this afternoon. It’s a map of Yes Scotland activist branches across the country, and it’s pretty impressive.

So for tonight’s And Finally, we thought it’d be a chuckle to compare it to the nearest “Better Together” equivalent, which has a rather less nationwide coverage.

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(Source here.)