You know how the SNP are always going on about how bad the Tories are and how urgently we need to get rid of them? Well, it turns out they don’t want that to happen for at least a couple of years. They just want a different Tory as Prime Minister, even though they keep telling us that Boris Johnson is the greatest recruiting sergeant for independence there could be.
One might almost imagine that once every Parliament, a drawing of lots is conducted at The Times’ offices in Scotland and the loser is obliged to write this column, on pain of a ceremonial debagging and a jolly good paddling with an old cricket bat from all the other chaps in the newsroom.
Perhaps the fear is playing tricks with Alex Massie’s memory.
We were sent something disturbing recently. It’s from a training course civil servants are being sent on by the Scottish Government.
As you can see, one of the sites that staff are directed to is something called The Trans Language Primer. We thought you should see some of its content.
Even when you’re retired, some things are too journalistically offensive to let pass, such as this piece of absolute garbage we just saw from The National today.
The paper’s anonymous reporter set off all our red warning lights at once.
There was, very obviously, no “indyref2 campaign launch” yesterday, not least for the reason that there is no indyref2. Nothing whatsoever has changed from the situation which has persisted for the last six years, namely that the SNP says it wants another referendum and the UK government says it can’t have one.
There has been no agreement and there has been no legal judgement settling the impasse. No laws have been passed, no date has been set (though a flustered Angus Robertson blurted out something about next October on Good Morning Scotland), no preparations have been made.
While this site remains mothballed, it’s nice to keep a steady trickle of traffic going just in case it ever needs to spring back to life, eg if someone actually interested in independence suddenly somehow becomes leader of the SNP again.
So we thought it might be fun to just briefly link to some old articles as and when they became topical once more, and as luck would have it tomorrow is such an occasion.
Because that’s when the SNP will launch the first of a series of new papers outlining the First Minister’s “vision” of independence by waffling on about how it would be a jolly good thing, in the unlikely event that she ever got off her extremely well-paid arse and achieved it.
Since Wings confirmed its formal closure as a blog there have nevertheless been 19 posts in eight-and-a-half months, comprising a mixture of polls (the site’s remaining purpose), guest posts, admin, a couple of throwaway joke videos and very occasional one-off, polling-related comment pieces on significant occasions like the SNP marking 15 years in power or Nicola Sturgeon becoming the longest-serving First Minister.
So it’s a little bit startling that it’s still – and by a considerable distance – the world’s most-read Scottish politics site.
(In fact, bigger than the next three put together.)
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aidan Largest “ferry” port. Doesn’t the use of “ferries” in and out of a quarantined area strike you as rather…” Mar 20, 18:11
ScottieDog on Irony you can’t buy: “And a tidy pension. Wondering if she’ll become baroness sturgeon one day, sitting next to lord Blackford of humblecroft and…” Mar 20, 17:59
christine on Irony you can’t buy: “Failed lawyer Sturgeon peddled and condoned the genital mutilation of our children. She sanctioned the abuse, torment, degradation and trauma…” Mar 20, 17:49
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Ex-SNP MP Joanna Cherry: “It is easy to make a promise. Much harder to keep it. Sturgeon governed by press…” Mar 20, 17:01
Onlooker on Irony you can’t buy: “Is there any way to sue her to get the money back she claimed as an MSP, whilst not turning…” Mar 20, 16:54
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “Well put. I agree 100% and more.” Mar 20, 16:18
Lorncal on Irony you can’t buy: “As a woman myself, I cannot get around the fact that both Thatcher and Sturgeon respectively and individually destroyed the…” Mar 20, 16:16
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “The nastiest, most self-centred, little b1tch in Scottish history. A fucking disgrace to the whole nation. Burning in Hell would…” Mar 20, 16:15
Willie on Irony you can’t buy: “Her time I am sure will come. Her dark deeds will come back to haunt her. In the meantime she…” Mar 20, 16:15
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Geri @ 13.00. If only she were going to disappear back into obscurity, Geri. I’ve no doubt she and what…” Mar 20, 15:30
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: ““Ye who suffer woes untold, Or to feel, or to behold Your lost country bought and sold With a price…” Mar 20, 15:13
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Yup! I feel exactly the same. I reach for the remote. I don’t want to even listen to her. Hopefully…” Mar 20, 14:43
Ronnie on Irony you can’t buy: “Don’t know about the rest of yies, but I cannot even watch her now. I thought I would never hate…” Mar 20, 14:25
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “David you say, What’s her legacy? Alex Salmond down fall and his untimely death I feel sure. She tried and…” Mar 20, 14:23
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “I feel sure we’ll see her on election night pointing out how good John the moron has been. Hasn’t reform…” Mar 20, 14:15
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Please correct me if I’m wrong but did she say it was a honor to a MSP for all these…” Mar 20, 14:06
David on Irony you can’t buy: “What’s her legacy? I was ever only in the SNP to gain independence. She was deputy during the referendum. How…” Mar 20, 14:02
Alex stewart on Irony you can’t buy: “Never mind, Swinney is doing his best to be her identical replacement” Mar 20, 14:01
James on Looking up at the stars: “Aye, nothing to do with the oil eh? Mind living in a cave probably makes you a bit thick. Back…” Mar 20, 13:53
Captain Caveman on Looking up at the stars: ““That stands for nothing. We’ve paid Scots that love to go on telly to bash Scotland too. It happens everywhere.…” Mar 20, 13:51
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “J Robertson @ 12.47. “don’t forget to think for yourself”, I believe she actually intended to say, “don’t forget to…” Mar 20, 13:46
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “The Port of Dover is the largest ferry port in the world if measured by traffic” Mar 20, 13:10
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Good riddance to a treacherous cow. Stepping down cause she knows she’d have the walk of shame otherwise. Back to…” Mar 20, 13:00
Jacqueline on Irony you can’t buy: “She’s the worst of the worst. I thought I hated thatcher but nicoliar’s filth I will take to my grave.…” Mar 20, 12:50
lothianlad on Irony you can’t buy: “Her words conceal a message to abandon independence and that even devolution could be withdrawn. An attempt to undo decades…” Mar 20, 12:50
J Robertson on Irony you can’t buy: ““ No matter the depths of loyalty to your own political tribe, don’t forget to think for yourself”. The absolute…” Mar 20, 12:47
lothianlad on Irony you can’t buy: “Sturgeon is Scotlands shame!She drank from the posioned chalice. Turned by the british state for the temporary illusion of power.…” Mar 20, 12:45
Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““The Port of Dover is the busiest ferry port in the world” The world? Are you sure about that? I…” Mar 20, 12:38