Those are the words of David Cameron as he launched the Scottish Tories’ manifesto in front of a heavily-vetted invited audience in Glasgow yesterday. They make the pages of a couple of other papers, including the Guardian (which hides them even further down the page than the Sun does), but it’s only the Herald that picks up on their significance, leading its article with the unequivocal lines:
So, let’s just get this one straight, this morning’s English edition of The Sun – two parties with 316 seats are “stealing” an election from two parties with 309 seats?
Want us to walk you through that whole “counting” thing again?
Last night’s juxtaposition of somewhat contradictory front covers on the Herald and Scottish Daily Mail was modestly amusing, but nothing new. We pointed out weeks ago that papers on both the left and the right were – often on the same days – painting the SNP as hand-in-glove allies of either Labour or the Tories according to whatever suited their own agendas, and nothing’s changed in that respect.
But it’s interesting to take a look behind the headlines of the respective stories and see the degree to which the truth can be bent, exaggerated or in some cases simply made up from thin air.
The bald-eagle-looking chap toting the cerise tie in this clip of this morning’s Victoria Derbyshire show on the BBC News channel is Lord (Andrew) Adonis, a former Labour government minister under Tony Blair and Gordon Brown.
He also wrote the book “Five Days In May” about the latter’s unsuccessful attempt to form a coalition with the Liberal Democrats in 2010, despite having won almost 50 fewer seats than the Conservatives in that election. So he understands the process.
Lord Adonis does, in fairness, make a brief and half-hearted attempt at punting Jim Murphy’s “1924” line, but in the end he’s forced to concede (nudged along by Peter Riddell of the Institute for Government) that in fact the second-placed party forming the government is perfectly possible.
But the most remarkable thing happened at the end.
That, readers, is quite the admission. That’s a party which has utterly dominated UK politics in Scotland for six decades openly acknowledging that its entire campaign in the last three weeks will be based on railing against a complete fantasy.
The Daily Record gets up high on its outrage horse this morning with a front-page story titled “Double-crossed on devo”, echoing Jim Murphy’s claim of yesterday that the Tories’ manifesto pledge on “English votes for English laws” is a “betrayal” of the “Vow” signed by the three UK party leaders before the independence referendum.
Unsurprisingly, the Record gives rather less prominence to the news that the Vow isn’t worth the fake parchment it wasn’t written on than it did to repeatedly hyping it up and then proclaiming that it had already been delivered.
Last week we listened to a Radio Scotland phone-in debate on Trident, hosted very deftly by John Beattie, who managed to steer callers away from political points and keep the discussion on the merits or otherwise of the weapons system itself.
Sadly that didn’t dissuade the usual coterie of nutters/local councillors phoning in insisting that (a) North Korea would invade/blast Scotland off the face of the Earth the moment we let our guard down, and (b) Helensburgh would immediately revert to the Stone Age at the loss of jobs were the few hundred Trident sailors who spend about a week every year in the town to be reassigned to other posts in the navy.
We didn’t have time to ring in ourselves, but we did manage to think of a much better idea that solved both of those problems without lumbering Scotland with a gigantic nuclear white elephant, and one that would also free up an awful lot of valuable police time and resources that are currently spent arresting a bunch of hippies.
We try to avoid openly editorialising on this site, readers. While unashamedly partisan in our leanings, as a rule we prefer to present the facts and let people come to their own conclusions from the evidence.
But we’re not sure we’ve ever seen anything more craven and pathetic than this.
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: ““I see you’re a fan of Better Together” For myself, I’m a fan of Plausible Divorce Plan, although I do…” Nov 2, 17:39
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “I think a further clarity intervention is needed about dates. James Che’s narrative blends two unrelated historical facts into a…” Nov 2, 15:53
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “For even more clarity… Queen Anne’s proclamation dissolving the Scottish Parliament was issued in April 1707, not in 1752. Anne…” Nov 2, 15:16
Chas on Vibecoding A Better World: “How interesting. I have never read interpretations of 300+ year old stuff before. But only if we discount the exact…” Nov 2, 13:53
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “Indeed a clever attempt north code, Except England did not update its Calendar year until 1752 to be in line…” Nov 2, 13:25
Dan on Vibecoding A Better World: “@ Northcode at 11:04 am You don’t have waffle some word twisting shite on here. Over the course of the…” Nov 2, 13:03
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Cheers, sarah. There was me reading about the Scottish Men’s Curling team’s European Championship triumph on the BBC website and…” Nov 2, 12:55
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Thanks for reporting this achievement. And making clear that once again the BBC has worked to hide a Scotland triumph.” Nov 2, 12:19
McDuff on Vibecoding A Better World: “Scotland’s men pick up a gold at the world curling championships and es far as I can see it has…” Nov 2, 11:13
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “Alf’s argument frames Scotland’s economic condition through a mythic lens of colonial underdevelopment. In its historical and economic framing, these…” Nov 2, 11:04
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “For clarity… James Che’s argument rests on a mythic moment they place in 1606, where they believe the Scottish Parliament…” Nov 2, 10:28
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “Yes of course “a radical change in the political (and colonial) landscape” is absolutely critical for recovery and development of…” Nov 2, 10:24
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “@Aidan The laughable aspect to this is that there are plenty of Scots, myself included, who would love Scotland to…” Nov 2, 10:20
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “Well done Izzie, you’re exactly right. If Nicola Sturgeon had been first minister between 2014 and 2023 Scotland would be…” Nov 2, 10:15
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “You are right James, when people hear about the true nature of what happened in 1606, they will take to…” Nov 2, 09:47
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “So the plan is, Day 1 – become independent and Day 2 – become identical to Norway? Scotland on Day…” Nov 2, 09:41
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Awa and shite, Alf. The context is you lying about Scotland having the highest energy prices in the world. The…” Nov 2, 09:39
Alf Baird on Vibecoding A Better World: “The ‘context’ Hatey, which you completely ignore, much like your beloved ‘union’ hoax, is that Norway’s economy is so advanced…” Nov 2, 09:09
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Could be so much worse, Bob. At least she’s not claiming the route to Scottish Independence is via climbing on…” Nov 2, 09:01
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “So true, James. People vowing to edumacate themselves about the shenanigans of 1707 is all I ever hear at the…” Nov 2, 08:56
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “One can understand the need and fear of Unionist to Squash Alf Bairds voice before it grows and becomes known…” Nov 2, 08:22
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “When enough Scots identify where and when the the treaty of union failed to be completed or accomplish its purpose,…” Nov 2, 08:01
Bilbo on Vibecoding A Better World: “Given that they only teach postmodern theories in the education system nowadays, students are only interested in bringing down the…” Nov 2, 07:40
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “To make the theory of of the treaty of union of two parliaments merging to create unitary State of Great…” Nov 2, 07:39
robertkknight on Vibecoding A Better World: “That’s the least of your worries… There’s clearly other issues elsewhere! (I speak as a sufferer of osteoarthritis in both…” Nov 1, 19:59
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “I get it, Alf. Having higher petrol and diesel prices than ours in Norway doesn’t matter because of “context”. As…” Nov 1, 19:30
Aidan on Vibecoding A Better World: “The charging infrastructure in Norway is excellent – i’ve seen EV chargers on unsurfaced roads. However, just under 70% of…” Nov 1, 19:17