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Wings Over Scotland

Woman buys thing with own money

Posted on March 24, 2015 by

(Or not. It might have been a present.)



“The coffee machine that makes Nicola Sturgeon’s morning cuppa costs more than the average monthly salary of a chef or hospital porter.

A glimpse into the First Minister’s home in an interview with Good Morning Britain’s Suzannah Reid showed a kitchen worktop that was bare except for the expensive bean-to-cup coffee machine.

The coffeemaker is believed to be a De’Longhi Prima Donna Avant cappuccino and espresso machine that sells for £1,395 in the shops.

The price is the monthly take home pay for someone earning £20,000 a year – more than most chefs, gardeners, butchers and hospital porters earn.”

Nicola Sturgeon gets paid a pretty decent wage, as we imagine her husband Peter Murrell does for his senior role in the SNP. What they spend their money on for a wee treat to themselves is, we’re fairly sure, entirely their own business. (Though you can in fact get a brand-new one on eBay for £680, not £1,395). As far as we know, the device was located in Nicola Sturgeon’s only kitchen.

Torcuil Crichton didn’t even come up with the story himself. It was lifted straight out of this morning’s Daily Mail, with a dash of class war added in by the Record hack, before the story was hastily pulled from the struggling paper’s website shortly after we highlighted it on Twitter.


There are still six weeks until the general election. If this is how far down the barrel they’re scraping now, we dread to imagine where we’ll be by May. Meanwhile, here’s some social-media response to restore a smidgen of your faith in humanity.










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  1. 24 03 15 23:40

    Woman buys thing with own money | Speymouth

  2. 25 03 15 07:35

    Woman buys thing with own money | Politics Scot...

  3. 30 10 19 08:42

    Taigh na Croiche: Torcuil: beul gun taobh?

255 to “Woman buys thing with own money”

  1. Paula Rose says:

    I make mine in a jug – that way it’s easier to sniff.

  2. Lesley-Anne says:

    I am so confused these days can someone on here please help me?

    I am used to Stu delving into the inner sanctums of the London centric media but this *ahem* attempt at a news story just defies all logic.

    Surely all these years I have been looking for the Daily Record in the wrong place. I have always searched it out in the newpaper stand but I’m guessing that is why I have never found one because it is actually shelved in the comic section! 😀

  3. jimnarlene says:

    Oh FFS, that’s all I can say to this.

  4. Martin says:

    If she and husband (be aware this was very likely a wedding gift)have 1 cup per day, the top price works out at £1.91 a day. This is before coffee and milk costs added. Seems fairly reasonable in this context, if one likes coffee. I doubt Torcuil would criticise people on £20k a year for spending nearly 10x that on cigarettes.And nor would I, because despite my professional opposition to smoking I’m not against people legally spending their own money.

  5. Croompenstein says:

    Whit’s wrang wae jar o Mellow Birds? Snob!

  6. Steph says:

    Damn, I never thought my bean to cup coffee machine would be an affront to the working man. I shall promptly smash it to pieces and burn the manual for good measure!

  7. grahamlive says:

    I’m off to don my Tesco value frying pan. Just to annoy Daisley. ????

  8. Dcanmore says:

    yup, just exactly what you want your top Westminster-based political journo to come up with, and it’s not even his story. Well done Torcuil you’ve shown once again how shit your paper really is.

  9. Fireproofjim says:

    Greig Forbes tweet. I will steal that comment. Really LOL

  10. thoughtsofascot says:

    I have a ricecooker, coffee machine and blender. I must be a bourgeoisie **** in the mind of poor Torcuil.

    Not to labour: this is the 21st century, maybe THAT’s why you are losing?

  11. MJack says:

    Can you get them to pull all the other crap stories on the DR website too Rev? Hope you’re keeping a tally!

  12. Calum Craig says:

    And not just any old coffee maker but a “bean to cup” one!!!

  13. heedtracker says:

    What next from Torquil? Scotland’s First Minister seen in new car costing £23,000 horror.

  14. MJack says:

    A coffee machine, in her ONLY kitchen!

  15. Lanarkist says:

    In an attempt to camouflage my extensive cake fork collection I am now wearing them in a wearable artwork ensemble, taking a self portrait and sending it to Daily Record.

    Not for any good reason really, just because I can!

  16. Chic McGregor says:

    Time for the self-inflicted walking dead of Scottish Labour, in all its guises, to wake up and smell the coffee.

  17. AnneDon says:

    If she was a unionist MP, of course, she would have put it on expenses to let us all know how much it cost.

    This is so trivial I think even the Ranger will be embarrassed by it in the cold light of day.

  18. GM_Dundonian says:

    Dear Daily Record,

    How about a real story, like your Red Tory masters assisting the Blue lot in ensuring that porters and the like exist on slave wages instead of a living wage in the first place. Oh and mr editor, I am sure you have a lovely expensive car that cost umpteen times a porters monthly wage, better go exchange it for a second hand banger around the £600 mark – you know, for solidarity with those poor porters.

  19. Fiona says:

    How much does this “journalist” earn?

  20. Thepnr says:

    Would love a look into Murray Foote or Torcuil Crichtons kitchen. Maybe a chance you would find an Aga or Rangemaster in their kitchens. What exactly is the point you try to make? If it’s what I think you are missing the target by a mile.

    This is not the point, Nicola Sturgeon has worked hard to become leader of the Scottish government, the arseholes printing this are really nobodies and will be forgotten soon.

    Foote and Chrichton will be out of a job along with their Labour party chums, faux socialists the lot of them.

    You what you muckrakers ignore? It is if the person is seen to be doing a good job, a job in leading the whole of Scotland then nobody minds if she is well paid. After all she is one in five million.

    Unlike you tubes who are two a penny. No wonder you pulled the article from you website. Your paymasters must be monitoring you work.

    Take my word for it, your efforts are pathetic and your card is being marked by your bankers.

    Your teas oot and don’t go greeting to yer maw.

  21. HandandShrimp says:

    If the only thing that the Record can only gripe about is a coffee maker in Nicola’s house then they truly are bereft of ideas (and sanity) and Miliband and Labour are screwed.

  22. Jamie Arriere says:

    I’m sure she’s had no problem budgeting for it since she got rid of her butler, her ghillie and her ceremonial trumpeter.

    (Between the supermoon, the eclipse and April Fools Day, the UK press seems to be barking at the fucking moon! OOOOWWOOOOOO )

  23. fourthtimelucky says:

    “The pricey item was described as ‘out of kilter with her policies’ by a Scottish Labour peer….”

    Let’s de-construct that: Labour+peer=severe out-of-kilterness with supposed socialism

  24. Pat says:

    Nicola Sturgeon : Caffine Addict

    I think the Daily Record/Mail missed the real story here.

  25. Jim Murphy thinks he may have once had an instant coffee but can’t remember.

  26. Tackety Beets says:

    Mark MacDonald looking for brownie points from a George Foreman .

    The humour on twitter has been ace .

    Its been all good fun , yet again at the DR’s expense .
    Never bought it, not doing well in enticing me , Turquil da turkey

  27. Harry McAye says:

    Quick, take that down from our website, they’re ripping the pish on twitter!

  28. Oneironaut says:

    Probably shouldn’t tell them about the ageing microwave in my kitchen.
    Got a bit addicted to Lidl instant pasta.

    Hmmm, shouldn’t have said that…
    (*checks the back garden for Record journalists hiding behind the shed…*)

  29. ArtyHetty says:

    Well, that is it, I am voting for anyone but her! Much rather have DC and NC and ED making such huge important decisions for us all, for instance, will I like, replace trident, or have a cup of coffee? In their tiny tiny kitchens in their tiny tiny cupboards that are really tardisii, like er mansions.
    Oh so fg hard, I mean what the heck cereal is that woman on for gods sake! Jeesh.

  30. Kenny says:

    Guys, guys, guys! Relax! It’s a spoof! It’s so obvious. Look at the bit where a Labour PEER attacks someone for not living out the values of their party. Many subtlety. Very ermine.

  31. Lesley-Anne says:

    We have a coffee maker, kettle, chip frier, steamer and microwave machine in our one and only box room of a kitchen. Does this mean that I can expect a knock at the door any minute now from our lovable Torcuil? 😀

  32. carjamtc says:

    On a more serious note

    SLabour announce plans for new daytime T.V. show At Home with Big Macs

    featuring stand ups Murphy and Curran.

    Jim does his normal set as his alter ego Methane Man,while Mags reveals she is really Jerry Sadowitz playing an elaborate joke on us all along.

    Jerry explained deleting all those you tube videos was worth it as nobody twigged.

    Regular features include “keep your self alive with no food or clothes” and ” Know the price of everything value of nothing” “I really want to see those fingers”

    So good luck to them best wishes from all of us.

  33. Kenny says:

    Also, how many morning cuppas will she get out of the machine? It’s like saying my night’s sleep is costing £100,000 ‘cos that’s what my house is worth. Utterly inane pish.

  34. Patrick Roden says:

    I saw this earlier, then saw that they had pulled the story.

    Couldn’t help wondering if they did this because of the mockery, or because they realised we might start looking closely at the pictures of Ed Millibands kitchen pictures, and see some very expensive things,

    You know, the kinda things that people born into privilege have.

  35. Richard Lucas says:

    Denounced by a ‘Scottish Labour peer’ who could one of the sodding things a week just for signing the Lords register Monday to Friday. FFS

  36. Joemcg says:

    Did that expenses scandal actually happen a few years ago Daily Record or did I imagine it? Desperadoes.

  37. Just to put this in context… here’s an extract from Jim Sheridan’s Labour MP’s expenses; paid for by our taxes ( unlike Nicola’s coffee maker ) that could have gone to a chef or hospital porter…

    £991.95 for a memory foam mattress & ivory leather bed
    £500 for furniture & household accessories
    £699 for a three-seater sofa
    £829 for a two-seater sofa bed
    £219 for a coffee table
    £199 for a lamp table
    £359 for a wardrobe
    £299 for a chest of drawers
    £159 for a bedside cabinet
    £109 for a mirror
    £1,200 to have ceilings, walls and woodwork painted
    £1,280 for a new shower
    £595 for new blinds
    £699.99 42-inch for a plasma television
    £219.99 for a four-year warranty for said television

    I can’t help thinking Nicola needs a decent coffee more than Sheridan needs a f++king mirror!!

  38. GM_Dundonian says:

    Oh missed the part about them pulling it. This was the lowest most pathetic article I’ve seen from the Record as far as GE 15 articles go. Can they do worse? What comes lower than a barrel scraping? Thank goodness they didn’t discover her toaster, The SNP would have been finished if it had cost more than £15! Seriously, what the hell was that hack thinking?

  39. handclapping says:

    Aye, and she’ll not stay at Holiday Inns when on official visits neither. #highmaintenancewomen

  40. Calum McLean says:

    O/T To get away from Daily Record Coffee froth article to some very interesting discovery of how the Tories are getting into such a froth they are foaming almost rabidly.


    “conservative home snp 290”

    The comments section gives a VERY USEFUL insight on what might happen on after 7 May 2015.

    Anyone have a view on this?

  41. De Valera says:

    Still at least they’re not having a go at her hairstyle.

  42. Lanarkist says:

    Might be interesting to link this story idea to the links between BBC, Labour Scottish Branch, Daily Record, STV.

    How many are married to both their job and someone else in one of the other Club industries in Scotland.

    Bet they have nice things in their kitchens and their holiday home kitchens and their second, tax payer funded homes.

    Probably pulled because it is a hornets nest for themselves.

  43. RascalRachael says:

    I need days like this – it can get depressing at times.

    The continuous MP’s for their own benefit are the real benefit stories that get me down.

    o/t I just discovered @RikerGoogling which makes today a double plus.

    p.s. I used a coffee maker on holiday that turned out to cost £400 – even on ebay! The coffee was very, very good. Maybe one day…

  44. heedtracker says:

    It makes you wonder if right wing propagandists like Torquil would be enraged by the average large screen tv in a lot of living rooms these days. Coffee is still a teamGB luxury item, fit only for rich toffs.

    If you buy an expensive coffee maker and you’re not a toff, like Torquil, watch out. At least Daily Heil’s not out and about again hunting down Scotland’s YES and SNP voters on twitter, are they?

  45. Thepnr says:

    @Jamie Arriere

    First time for a while I really did laugh out loud. Cheers 🙂

  46. Capella says:

    I love the bit about it being “out of kilter with her policies” by a Scottish Labour PEER!
    The SNP have kept very quiet about their cappucino policies.

  47. Gary45% says:

    Wow, Nic buys a coffee machine with her own money.

    The Blue tories, Red tories and the lib dums have WASTED Trillions and Trillions of taxpayers money over the years.
    This story can only be interesting if you live with your head up your own arse.

  48. Deontas says:

    A Labour peer said “Astonishing” “and out of Kilter……” hold on isn’t that a great way to describe The Labour Party?

  49. HandandShrimp says:

    Perhaps Torquil was making a pitch to be the Mail’s “Home and Living”* correspondent

    * or whatever that section is called.

  50. Taranaich says:

    The pricey item was described as ‘astonishing’ and ‘out of kilter with her policies’ by a Scottish Labour peer last night.”

    “…by a Scottish Labour peer last night…”

    “…Scottish Labour peer…”




  51. Calum McLean says:


    Conservative Home Website Manifesto Pledge:-

    “The next logical step would be to offer Scotland Home Rule, together with Home Rule for all the Home Nations – including, of course, England – in a fully federal UK, as recommended in the ConservativeHome Manifesto.”

    Getting to this point in the JOURNEY really shows the power of the phrase…


  52. Lanarkist says:

    @Jamie Arriere,

    Ceremonial trumpeter, haha, seems to describe Torquil to a T!

    Donald Urquhart, painter?

    £500 for furniture & …

    Then claims for Sofa, Sofa bed, table, wardrobe, etc

    Should have bought a Dictionary, last I heard they are all furniture, stretching his meagre salary, allowances and subsidies, just scraping along.

  53. Brian Hill says:

    More perspective. Since joining the low-wage economy (in the basement) with a major corporate, three cups of comparable coffee a day cost me £3.30. So I pay £858 a year for coffee. I don’t own the coffee machine and never will. I’d pay my way to the fancy coffee-maker in less than two years but, if I was paid the same as an equivalent employee in England, I’d be three grand a year better off. I could maybe buy my own.

    Social justice isn’t about the coffee maker you own, it’s about how other people screw you with theirs.

  54. Capella says:

    @Lesley-Anne Ooh, aren’t you the toff! A deep fryer AND a steamer. Hedging your bets there!
    I’ve got a bread maker and a food processor. Very DIY. One can’t get the staff nowadays!

  55. Thepnr says:

    Is the Daily Record now the equivalent of the Daily Mail in England?

    Or have their choice of articles to print just been decided by the same “dark forces”. Are they the same? Probably Yes.

    Daily Record(SCO) 0 v 0 Daily Mail(ENG)

  56. Gary45% says:

    Donald Urquhart 10.49,

    Did FUD sniff the coffee?

  57. Capella says:

    I’d say it was more the equivalent of the Bunty. But with more malice.

  58. gus mac says:

    Don’t these people realise just how pathetic and desperate they look?

    A labour peer really says…..can I get one on expenses?

  59. cearc says:

    Proud Cybernat,


  60. X_Sticks says:

    Just what is it with unionists?

    The Dreary Wreckord now trying to weaponise a coffee maker. Worse still, a bean to cup coffee maker!

    This “damage the SNP, Nicola and Alex” campaign is becoming incredibly tedious.

    Is Jim Murphy a secret millionaire? I strongly suspect he is, and if he’s not then he hasn’t managed his expenses claims very prudently. How many others of the north british red tory party are also millionaires? I think we should know. Michael Martin? Lordy McConnell? Baillie?

  61. Clootie says:

    I simply fly out to Italy and have my coffee fresh!

    What will be the next in depth expose by the Retard;
    How much she spend on shoes?
    That she buy Kellogs cornflakes instead of shop brand?

    Meanwhile we have the New Labour Millionaires enjoying a lifestyle with their true income hidden by layers of companies or apparent charities.

  62. caz-m says:


    You need to give Torquil a bit of a break, that was his first attempt at Investigative Journalism.

  63. @Proud Cybernat

    That is brilliant.

  64. Fiona says:

    @Proud Cybernat

    I am also really impressed by that!

  65. Democracy Reborn says:

    Never mind a coffee-maker, socialist Jim Murphy has his own glue-making machine. Alright, he stuck the purchase price on the expense account but don’t tell Murray Foote or David Clegg… And the beauty is, it gives a buzz 1000 times more potent than SNP glue. Ya dancer!

  66. I have a rather expensive steel wok but it also doubles as a tin helmet – can I still be a member of the SNP?

  67. Marco McGinty says:

    To be fair, the Daily Mail article mentioned that it retailed at, but sneakily failing to account for depreciation.

    Every car I’ve ever owned, at one time or other, cost several thousands of pounds, but I’ve never bought a car for more than £400. Just because a particular item once cost that amount of money, doesn’t mean that it will retain that value.

    Just as the Labour Party were once a respected political party In Scotland, but sure as hell ain’t now!

  68. cearc says:


    Have to confess that I have a coffee machine (cheap one) in my bedroom as well as a nice one in the kitchen.

    Also a stove-top espresso pot to go on the woodburners aaaaand a small espresso pot which I travel with!

    The shame of it, a four coffee machine house! (Only one kitchen though).

  69. Lesley-Anne says:

    And you call ME a toff Capella! 😀

    Don’t woory I won’t telkl Torcuil about you and your bread maker if you promise not to tell him about my chip frier. 😉

  70. Patrick Roden says:

    One thing this story has shown us:

    That without a shadow of a doubt, the Daily Record is a Tory front, in Scotland.

    Rehashing right wing bile and repackaging it as Scottish.
    Perfectly reflecting the Labour Party in Scotland.

    The Daily Redcoat – Red Tories – Twa Cheeks.

  71. heedtracker says:

    Another far right teamGBist puts the boot in today. You lost, shapad! says the Independent. So yes we did lose but this nutter, and lets face it there are lot around in the UKOK media alone, this nutter says Scots voting SNP May7 means

    “The recognised rules are out of the window. The SNP may indeed have lost the referendum, but despite its economic case for independence now lying in shreds, its winning hand just gets stronger.”

    The “recognised rules” means Scotland stay with us but stick to our recognised rules and vote how we tell you, and dont buy fancy coffee makers. Rule Britannia, from LandsEnd to Carlisle soon enough:D

  72. Defo says:

    Apparently, us voting SNP will “sabotage the democratic will of the British people”
    Traitorous Scots indeed.

  73. One_Scot says:

    The Daily Record, surely they are now just a laughing stock.

  74. Dr Jim says:

    Aye, bit she diz keep a tidy hoose right anuff tho
    Bet it keeps her busy afore she goes oot tae her wee joab in the mornin eh
    Aye, bit it’s only right she irns her mans shurts though
    a wummins goat tae huv some pride eh
    Ye’d be black affronted if ye turned yer man oot wae a wrinkly shurt fur he’s wurk eh

    Oh Aye……

  75. Capella says:

    Cearc is just showing off now!

  76. “Donald Urquhart, painter?”

    guilty as charged

  77. Marcia says:

    Dearie Me. The Record should have go on refresher course on journalism. I hate coffee so I’ll now vote Labour. 🙂

  78. RascalRachael says:

    @Brian Hill :11.21pm
    Firstly can I say that a great cup of coffee can be had for a £2 cafetiere plus a supermarket brand ground coffee @ £1.50 x 26 (it does 2 weeks) < £40 a year

    Secondly, irn bru + malibu = totally costa del carnoustie experience!

  79. GM_Dundonian says:

    Hmm that Tory home article… The guy who wrote it has seen the Tory PPB with Red Ed getting down to the funky Salmond flute solo, no? He is aware of the Jockophobia epidemic in England, yes?

    just think of the outrage across middle England at the very idea of conservatives having anything to do with those lavish coffee machine elitists the SNP! Nonsense!

  80. garyjc says:

    Oh no, I’ve got a Krupp’s one that cost a bit. Not only expensive (about 650) but made in furren parts too – oh god, think I’ll have to start voting tory, but red or blue – ah decisions. What a load of old horse – I really hope that this sort of shit doesn’t work and come May 8th the red tories Scottish count is single figures, or less

  81. scotsbob says:

    Shock, horror, Nicola has a coffee machine that she didn’t charge to her expenses.

  82. Marco McGinty says:

    In relation to perceived values, the Daily Record will also have a cost attached to it, and people will shell out for it, but in reality it is a worthless piece of trash.

  83. Heather McLean says:

    Democracy Reborn says:
    “Never mind a coffee-maker, socialist Jim Murphy has his own glue-making machine. Alright, he stuck the purchase price on the expense account but don’t tell Murray Foote or David Clegg… And the beauty is, it gives a buzz 1000 times more potent than SNP glue. Ya dancer!”

    Mad Jock McMad says:
    ” I have a rather expensive steel wok but it also doubles as a steel helmet – can I still be a member of the SNP?”

    Hahahaha! Brilliant – I really laughed out loud at this! Some really witty comments on here tonight – well done folks!

  84. Mealer says:

    Torcuil Crichton,
    You’ve let yourself down.And by the way,my neighbour has torcuil coloured tiles in his kitchen.

  85. Defo says:


    Thon Scottish Labour Peer you mention wouldn’t be the Dugs sugar daddy, and scourge of the cybernats by any chance, would he ?

  86. Lesley-Anne says:

    caz-m says:


    You need to give Torquil a bit of a break, that was his first attempt at Investigative Journalism.


    Investigative journalism?

    You can NOT be serious!

    He nicked straight out of the Daily Mail! 😀

  87. macbeda says:

    Just read this comment on conservative home referred above by Calum Maclean

    Can’t we just repeat the referendum until they give us the right answer, allowing us to repatriate all the annoying scots on the TV, impose a passport ban on the Krankies – or better still send them to Syria to totally dispirit ISIS, increase the proportion of TV and radio weather forecasts devoted to where most of us live, and periodically send airlifts of fruit and vegetables to help improve their buckfast, fags and white pudden’ diets.

    I really didn’t believe there were people like this.

  88. Ravelin says:

    Ehm, so even if we accept the £1400 price tag (who pays full retail price these days though?), at £300 per day for just turning up at the House of Lords any Labour Peer could have enough to buy one in just 5 days. They’d even have enough cash left over to buy a supply of coffee and milk!

  89. chris kilby says:

    I wonder what Jim Murphy has in his kitchen. Apart from antidepressants, I mean…

    (Actually, I don’t. I couldn’t give a flying monkey’s fuck. Much more interested in the contents of his manifesto. Assuming he has one.)

  90. caz-m says:

    “Conservatives slam Salmond’s ‘sinister’ threat to install Miliband in Downing Street.”

    The Tories have found out that Alex Salmond has a plan.

  91. heedtracker says: Oops the Independent thing about vote SNP, break their rules.

  92. MekQuarrie says:

    Wedding present..?

  93. Thepnr says:

    @Patrick Roden

    Always love your contributions, why? because they are thoughtful and sensible.

    Not trying to build you up because it would be easy to shoot you down. Keep up the good work, I appreciate it and am sure many others do.

  94. proudscot says:

    A snobby relative of mine has a similar expensive coffee machine – to my eternal embarrassment she votes Tory and believes Alex Salmond is Satan incarnate and eats babies!

    By the way, I wouldn’t thank you for one of these machines, the coffee it produces is lukewarm by the time it dribbles out of the 3 wee taps into the 3 wee dolly’s-tea-party-size cups and has to be blasted for a minute in her equally expensive microwave to heat it up to drinkable temperature!

    Wee suggestion to Torquil – why don’t you check out and publish Jim Murphy’s expenses claim for the past year? I’m willing to bet you’ll find quite a few very expensive items in there, all at taxpayers’ expense, rather than pay for them out of his considerable MP’s salary.

  95. bookie from hell says:

    torcuil daily record star fcuked on twitter

  96. Tackety Beets says:

    GE 2015 ,so here we go Thurs on Ch4 DC & EM , who will be the first to say ” I agree with Nic ” (NS of course)

    Sorry OT & Serious thought.
    As posted in threads recently . SNP have said no coalition with either Lab or Con.
    As Diane said on Sun eve ,(link below) they are both as Austere & as far to the right as each other .Basically both are fairly toxic now.
    My inclination is for the SNP to squeeze either party for best results. Working on a case by case basis. This restricts either party as to what they can get passed in HOC .
    We need to remind ourselves that Cons actually have always been more prepared to give more by way of devo as opposed to Lab who have basically wanted to devolve nothing more .
    Refer to respective Smith Commission representations .

    With case by case in mind , does it really matter to SNP which party is in Gvt @ WM

  97. Mike says:

    Ha ha, this made me laugh almost as much as that Tory video with Milliband dancing like a puppet to Salmond’s so called tune! Seems like the GE 2015 is proving to be the best comedy show in town…. except it isn’t of course and it’s rather serious!

    Poor Nicola is that busy that she looks like the only thing she survives on is coffee so why not at at least enjoy it. I would love to invite her round to mine for a nice home cooked meal but I don’t suppose the daily record would approve of my Waitrose bought ingredients!

    Even for the scum at that excuse for a paper, this is a new low and thankfully people can see this for what it is.

  98. Chic McGregor says:

    “I love the bit about it being “out of kilter with her policies” by a Scottish Labour PEER!”

    Wow! that coffee machine is about two days appearance money in the House of Lords and has the additional disadvantage that it might keep the user awake during some of the debates there.

  99. Michael McCabe says:

    It is out of kilter with her policies Said a labour peer last night. Just before he went to pick up his Expenses and his £300 a day. For Foulkes sake.

  100. charlie says:

    I think five days attendence allowance in the House of
    Lords (not including expenses) will cover any ex-Scottish Labour MPs wishing for a ‘believed’quality coffee maker in the near future.

    Another shot across the bows for the class warrriors…

  101. cearc says:


    I bet you have a great kettle though.

  102. famous15 says:

    Wedding present?

    Is nothing sacred and i betcha the next Torquil revelation will be how much I paid on Gumtree.(btw always cheaper than eBay)

    Seriously Torcuil is a wee nyaff like his father Brian Wilson. Peas in a pod.

  103. GM_Dundonian says:

    @ Tackety Beets

    Not to mention Sturgeon has said at the November SNP rally and often since, the SNP will NEVER put the Torys into power. I trust they won’t pull a Clegg ‘sorry about the tuition fees lolz’ on their voters.

  104. ronnie anderson says:

    Thank christ Nicola keept the cabinet doors shut or the would have see the packet of Luwak coffee,we would never hiv heard the end o it.

  105. scunner says:

    I have an abundance of Alessi in the family kitchen *COUGH* class ("Tractor" - Ed) *COUGH*.

    Boy this is grim.

    Can they go lower? They’ve plenty of time to scrape through the barrel bottom. If the Ref was anything to go by, the hysteria will overtake common sense about three weeks out building to threats around a week out from May 7.

    It won’t just be the DR.

  106. bugsbunny says:

    Lord George Foulkes has his coffee hand ground by Ethiopian indentured servants and hand delivered by camel all on expenses. But he say’s he’s a socialist so that makes it ok. But only if you’re a dyed in the wool Labour supporter, or an Orangeman.


  107. heedtracker says:

    It is getting madder by the day. Are they planning to ban Salmond from Westminster. should he actually get elected

    Libby Carrell give Prof Tomkins a big soap box-

    Tomkins said Salmond was modelling the strategy on moves by Charles Stewart Parnell, the Irish nationalist leader whose Irish Parliamentary party used disruptive tactics and filibustering in the Commons in the 1880s to anger British politicians.

    “[Salmond] wants the English to give him what he wants, with his fun and games, just to get the English to say, ‘Bugger off.’ The threat for us Scottish unionists is that the English aren’t ready for this and the English will overreact in the way that Salmond calculates. He’s going to carry on doing this for as long as he possibly can.”

    Prof Tonkins is a Scottish Unionist from Kent.

  108. bugsbunny says:

    Just a thought. If enough people voted yes, then we been just one year away from Independence, (24th March). Gee whizz Mr Broon, thank you. You miserable glass eyed lying bastard.


  109. Malcolm says:

    So the Record will go down in history as the “newspaper” that broke the COFFEEGATE scandal.
    How did Woodward and Bernstein miss this?
    Thank The Lord for quality journalists!!!!
    If only they could have found a photo of Hitler or Goebbels having a cuppa then the Nazi link would be proven once and for all, and Uhu Jim would be saved!!!

    Utter fuckwittery from the record. Again.

  110. Dave the Squirrel says:

    This is utter madness. I shall be defecting to the Nescafe Black Gold Party immediately.

  111. Tackety Beets says:

    GM_Dundonian , thanks.

    OK , that should bury it . “SNP will NEVER put the Torys into power”

    I’m 100% certain SNP would never do a Cleggy. I was merely teasing the possibility of the Tories being prepared to move a lot nearer towards FFA or Federalism than labour ever will and this could be attractive to the SNP.

    Either way I feel the SNP given sufficient MPs may be in a position to drag WM politics towards the centre a bit . Especially on a case by case basis .

    There are better minds on such matters posting here , so I bow to you and their superiority .

  112. Thepnr says:

    Both Labour and the Daily Record are now toast in Scotland.

    I shall not mourn.

  113. Malcolm says:

    Toast? Was is an expensive SMEG toaster?
    I bet that costs as much as a circus clown earns in a month.
    So Vote Labour!!!

  114. boris says:

    Daily Record Downsizes reflecting true sales figures in Scotland.

  115. frankieboy says:

    Given that a traditional Scottish breakfast is a can of irn bru, a packet of crisps and a Mars bar, I’d say NS is being quite frugal.

  116. Richie says:

    I’ve got one of those porcelain toilet things in my bathroom. Should I sell it for charity and shite in the cat litter tray? Please let me know. I’m bursting!

  117. StevieMcB says:

    use the lavvy Richie,the cat will need therapy ;).

  118. K1 says:

    Lol Ritchie, very good 🙂

  119. crazycat says:

    How strange that so many people spontaneously have the same suspicion about the identity of the unnamed Labour peer….


  120. K1 says:

    Oops sorry Richie…for misspell of yer name 🙁

    Time for bed methinks wi a smile on ma face for a change, good patter tonight, thanks all 🙂

  121. Fay Hutton says:

    Cameron did have a packet of ‘Heros’ on the shelf behind his heed in his kitchen……bizarre prop!

  122. thedogphilosopher says:

    Apparently inside The Daily Redcoat building there is a giant vacuum!

  123. cearc says:

    Another piece of light entertainment.

    ‘David Cameron ages five years in mauling by pensioners’.

  124. Joemcg says:

    Crazycat-aye think the bookies have fatty fucks at 1/50 on as the unnamed eejit.

  125. ronnie anderson says:

    Hiz Nicola an Peter goat Gnomes in their gairden if no why no.

  126. Achnababan says:

    I definitely think there is enough material here for several TV shows (to fill the gap in the schedule where the Scottish Six should be perhaps?)

    Here are 2 suggestions for starters:

    1. Westminster Bargain Hunt – Labour and Tory teams compete to buy households goods on expenses and re-sell on E-Bay and trouser the cash – the team with most profit wins!

    2. Through the key hole: TV crew surreptitiously inspect the household goods bought on expenses by Westminster MPS in their second homes in London with delightfully gushing commentary from presenter regarding taste, genre, and value for money (for the MP not the voter)

  127. ronnie anderson says:

    Anyone for ah cup of Hickory am putting the kettle on.

  128. scunner says:

    Hey I found a banned word!
    Agricultural conveyance indeed!

    Apologies Rev. I understand why though…

  129. icyspark says:

    A week is de Lhonghi time in politics 😉

  130. cearc says:


    That is much too good for 1.36am!

  131. GM_Dundonian says:

    @ Tackety Beets

    Oops, sorry mate, I wasn’t meaning my post to come across as authoritarian lol. I should have probably underlined the ‘never’ part, not use caps. Anyway the thing is I very much agree with you on the part of the Torys being more willing to give Scotland federalism than labour, especially in light of the growing calls for EVEL from their side.

    It’s just that with the SNP declaring never ever to propping up a Tory administration, Demands for true home rule will be made only to labour, and I have no idea how that will turn out. If the SNP do hold the power in westminster as expected after the election, the U.K will definitely never be the same, for Scotland will have at last real power in that parliament. What we do with it? I have many hopes.

    But let’s win the election first!

    Again, I apologise for sounding harsh, it wasnt my intention! 🙂

  132. James Waldie says:

    What a load of Dung every Westminster MPs have many things that has cost the tax payers thousands of pounds and they make a fuss about Nicola buy a coffee machine I bet there are many on benefits will have the same coffee machine I’am an old aged pensioner and I could afford to but one but if you are that way inclined you will buy one and Nicola’s wasn’t bought off tax payers money.

  133. Sooz says:

    I have four coffee mugs that together cost three times the yearly pay of a Minoan donkey wrangler. I shall sacrifice myself immediately, get eaten by wolves and then vote Labour.

  134. Achnababan says:

    Slightly OT but has anyone else noticed how the BBC Scotland website seems to downgrade positive SNP stories compared to the ‘UK’ site.

    The story today of the SNP blocking the Tories from forming a government is a prime example, getting far more prominence on the UK site than the Scottish one.

    No prizes for guessing why, but perhaps worthy of further study by a Professor or an insomniac (or both)

  135. Dal Riata says:

    Absolutely phenomenal Pulitzer prize-winning journalism there from the Daily Record.

    Stand up and be proud Torquil Crichton, you’re the man!

    It should just be renamed the Daily Viz: it would probably increase its sales if it did!

    The coffeemaker ‘exclusive’ deserves to be memed mercilessly.

  136. DerekM says:


    read all about it Daily Record plummets to a new low ,yes we didnt think it was possible for them to get any lower but they proved us wrong,i suppose there is a first time for everything lol

  137. Rigmac7 says:

    Je suis Nocola’s Delonghi

  138. GM_Dundonian says:

    Well I bet after having the utter piss ripped out of his daily rag on twitter and beyond tonight over coffeegate, you could say Mr Crichton will be feeling…

    -Dons Shades-

    a little depresso!


    O.k, that was bad, I’ll leave.

  139. Rigmac7 says:

    Sigh, “Nicola’s” even 🙂

  140. Dal Riata says:

    … And on a visit to the toilet, our team espied not only a bottle of shampoo… but a bottle of conditioner…!

    Yes, really!

    In this day and age of austerity when the good working people of the country have to scrape up enough to pay out for a single bottle combination of shampoo *and* conditioner…

    How very well dare Nicola Sturgeon flaunt her (some would say, undeserved) wealth in this way.

    It is an outrage and an utter disgrace!

    Questions need to be asked in the House. Immediately.

  141. ronnie anderson says:

    Ah wonder if Mr Campbell has a Ming coffee pot in his kitchen,noo that would be news.

  142. Fiona says:

    I didn’t even know they were related, much less sharing kitchenware.

  143. Macart says:

    I hope they’re happy, I’ve just had to bury a months supply of Rambouts filters in the back garden. 🙁


  144. Dal Riata says:

    … and also… Our intrepid team took notice of a bedroom door carelessly left ajar by Sturgeon. Within was seen what appeared to be a bed… A bed!

    While thousands of homeless take to shop doorways and back alleys to find some form of desperate comfort for the night, Sturgeon and her husband totally laugh in the faces of the unfortunate by resting easily and without remorse on a bed with a double-mattress… not a single-mattress like most of these poor unfortunate homeless would long to have, no, no – a luxurious double-mattress!

    Absolutely no shame whatsoever.

    This display of ostentatious wealth by the Scottish First Minister, while obviously sneering at those less fortunate, is quite beyond the pale.

    This disgraceful attitude is a sure sign that the SNP care only about themselves and any representation they may purport to have in Westminster after the 7th of May would be a farce and a disgrace to democracy and steps must be taken to ensure the integrity of the House. Immediately.

    By A. Hack @ the Broken Record

  145. Fiona says:

    @ Dal Riata


  146. A. Mylchreest says:

    This must be the second barrel-scraping exercise I’ve seen in as many days. Clearly there’s very little dirt to be found. The whole exercise is plainly distasteful and hopefully will backfire.

    Still if she ever needs a replacement coffee thingy, I bet it could be crowd-funded in a weekend. Not that I wouldn’t approve of it coming off expenses, clearly a tool of her trade.

    And what’s with the reference to butchers and hospital porters? My late father was both at different times of his life. Neither is an especially well-paid ‘profession’, so what?

  147. Stoker says:

    Shit, the budgies going cold tonight, i’ve just thrown his blanket over our new Vax, can’t be too careful, eh!
    (btw, i don’t have a budgie, i don’t believe in caged birds)

    As for the sadsac, Tory Quill, get a fricken life ya loser.

  148. Michael McCabe says:

    @ Stoker I just got rid of my Vax, It was just sitting in the corner gathering dust.

  149. Grouse Beater says:

    Nespresso. And I have two machines. So stuff you, Torcuil.

  150. Capella says:

    Torcuil could reframe his article:
    “Chefs and hospital porters in today’s UK earn no more than the price of a coffee maker in a month. Meanwhile, bankers can afford a Lamborghini a month. The scandal of unequal Britain.”

  151. Dal Riata says:

    … and not only that… Upon being served our coffee from the quite ridiculously luxury-class De Longhi (in noticeably expensive-looking cups), our intrepid team were ushered by Sturgeon into the, quote, “living-room” (a quite deliberate class-conscience attempt to appear less upper-class by not confirming it as the dining-room), whereupon we were beseeched to place said coffee cups upon what Sturgeon said was a “table”.

    However, this was no mere ‘table’ – not at all. Indeed, upon closer inspection, there were found to be coasters – such frippery in these days of austerity! – and books in the style of coffee table books upon this “table”, as Sturgeon called it, in an obvious attempt at deception.

    But the clincher came when Sturgeon invited the team to sit down and “gather round” to converse. Everyone – everyone – is cognisant of the common idiom, ‘Gather round the coffee table’, hence Sturgeon’s quite deliberate and very noticeable omission of the word ‘coffee’ while attempting to hide her coffee table-ownership credentials proves, without a shadow of doubt, that she cannot be trusted and she is, surely, unfit for office.

    This unforgivable deceipt by Sturgeon can only mean one thing. The SNP must not be allowed to participate in the General Election and procedures in the House and the Lords should begin to enact this into law. Immediately.

    A.Hack @ the Broken Record

  152. desimond says:

    When asked why she had such a luxury item, sturgeon replied quickly:

    “Oh Torcuil, just for coffee!”

  153. desimond says:

    Torcuil probably wrote this story on a Macbook priced around £1395…which is nice

  154. bjsalba says:

    Going back to Medieval customs are we?

    English Sumptuary Laws were imposed by rulers to curb the expenditure of the people. Sumptuary laws might apply to food, beverages, furniture, jewelry and clothing. These Laws were used to control behaviour and ensure that a specific class structure was maintained.

    Sumptuary laws have also been used to control populations by prohibiting the wearing of native dress and hairstyles, along with the proscription of other cultural customs.

    Sir John Perrot, Lord Deputy of Ireland under Elizabeth I, banned the wearing of traditional woollen mantles, “open smocks” with “great sleeves”, and native headdresses, requiring the people to dress in “civil garments” in the English style.

    In a similar manner, the Dress Act of 1746, part of the Act of Proscription issued under King George II of Great Britain following the Jacobite Risings, made wearing Scottish Highland Dress including tartans and kilts illegal in Scotland for anyone not in the British military.

    Torcuil, this is the 21st Century. Get with it.

  155. Wulls says:

    I was absolutely floored when I read the Mail article.
    I was also strangely happy that a once quality newspaper could not offer anything more insightfull.
    Simply put if that is the best they can do we have little to fear.
    Soar Alba Nicola.
    Lang May your capuchino steam lol

  156. john king says:

    What? whats this?
    I go to bed and the Michael McIntyre comedy roadshow comes to town
    Ok I see, its like that is it?
    I know when Im not needed I..I…I’ll just..sob …see myself out… hic … sob.


    Lanarkist and his coat of many forks?

    next up we had the inimitable
    Jamie Arriere with his ahem ceremonial trumpeter
    (what you do in your own time is your business buddy)

    and who could forget
    Donald Urquart who was eh… apparently meant to be on The Generation game but wandered into the wrong studio, (you don’t have to give the value of the prizes Donald)

    Next up we had er Michael Marra in a Comanche headdress aka
    DE VALERA give it up for De Valera folks whoo clap clap clap
    get out her pot cupboard and get that saute pan aff yer heed.

    Next we had Taranaich the king of irony
    lets hear it for Taranaich folks whoop whoop

    Then we saw the brilliant Proud Cybernat
    eat your cornflakes and shut up.

    and course, who could forget Democracy Reborn with their brilliant rendition of Jim Murphy’s glue machine (so that’s where ma horse went)

    And then we say the superb Cappela Im not sure which Mary she was? (I never read the Bunty my sister told me about the “THE FOUR MARYS) 🙂

    And then Cearc, Cearc ,Cearc tut tut tut
    dont think for a minute that naming yourself after the sound of a wee bird (apparently only you have heard) will temper our judgement on you, Im sorry but FOUR coffee making implements? its totally beyond the pale I shall retire to my summer house with my new cane furniture and don my Judge Rinder cloak to ponder your sentence but I would pack a suitcase if I were you 🙁
    and its just as well they don’t allow me to wear the black cap nowadays (I always thought I looked rather rakish in it as well ) 🙂

    But now folk I want you to give a special round of applause for none other than Greg Forbes who came to us via satellite all the way from Holyrood with his amazing “PUT DOWN” gag!

    We’re out of time (the wifes got my porridge oot) good morning curtain closes.

  157. Dal Riata says:

    Scotland’s very own Daily Espresso

    The Daily Espresso‘s ‘news‘ gathering technique makes extensive use of the brew-up-a-story method up by forcing a small amount of facts under pressure from the Labour party through ever so finely ground up exaggeration, supposition, misinformation and, if need be, lies.

    The Daily Espresso’s journalists are generally thicker than the brew-up-a-story merchants in other publications, has a higher concentration of suspended belief and utterly biased storylines than others in the same industry, and the lies they print generally rises to the top (a disgusting mix with a cheesy consistency).

    As a result of the pressurized brewing-up-a-story process, the articles and editorials in a typical Daily Espresso are quite insane in their intensity.

    The Daily Espresso is the base for other tales, such as those found in the Daily Mail, Telegraph, Express, Guardian, Independent and Mirror.

    The Daily Espresso has more bullshit per unit volume than most in the mainstream media, but because the number of units sold is becoming much smaller on a quarterly basis, the total bullshit content served upon the population is becoming less.

    Although the actual bullshit content of any of the UK’s mainstream media varies by size, origin, method and other factors, the bullshit content of a “typical” Daily Espresso vs. the drip-drip brew-up-a-story method of the rest of the UK’s mainstream media is noticeably higher.

    (With thanks to Wikipedia!)

  158. Broch Landers says:

    Frothing when I read this.

    There are no grounds for this story.

    And you’ll be hard pressed to find any.

    What kind of mugs do they take us for?

    Time to get shot of them.

    This instant.


  159. Sandra says:

    I want one of those machines. Do you suppose De Longhi put them up to this?

  160. Ken500 says:

    Trident/illegal wars, banking fraud and tax evasion costing £Billions. A professional couple with no children have a coffee machine. The Daily Record Mugs. Imaging reading that with a morning cuppa.

    Wonder what the wealthy, White middle-class male ‘reporters?’ have in their cupboards. Apart from causing nothing but trouble.

    At least Nicola protects SHS/Education, social care, bus passes, students, mitigates ‘bedroom tax’ and welfare benefits. What do ‘reporters?’ do but stir with a wooden spoon. Gypes.

  161. Free Scotland says:

    In the biscuit tin of life, the daily record is the mould growing in the seam and causing the fusty smell.

  162. Wee Jimmy says:

    The Daily Mail readers of the original version have kept fairly quiet about this. Mainly as they’re still stunned that Scotchlander people don’t actually drink Toilet Duck after all.


  163. Tackety Beets says:

    GM_Dundonian @ 1.43am

    Nae worries , all is well .

    AS has also declared or repeated that SNP would not vote in support of Tory Queens Sp so the concept has to be seen as 6 ft under , never to be discussed again .

    In this whole sorry saga lies the UK Unions which nearly all still support this Right wing Labour party . eh ASTONISHED !

    It would be interesting to know the actual UK sales figures for these “expensive” coffee machines .

    @ Dal Riata “Broken Record” I like that , excellent .

  164. john king says:

    Broch Landers @ 7.04

    Not staying long?
    oh never mind,

    Not that I mind people who are funnier than me, oh no, I don’t mind at all just ask all the other people who were funnier than me (god rest their souls) 😉

  165. john king says:

    Dal Riata @ 6.13



  166. Ken500 says:

    MP’s expenses scandal. Moots, duck houses, TV’s and every appliance under the sun. Mortgage payments on second homes up the street. Crooks getting away with murder, protected by tbe Official Secrests Act. Osbournes best man and brother in law (Bank) making £Millions out of the Royal Mail Pension take-over. Father in Law a consultant on HS2 making £Millions of public money. Cameron/family tax evasion. Spent £Millions on a new kitchen in Downing Street.

    The Daily Record is going down.

  167. Frost says:

    It would have been ok if Nicola had spent the money on a Versace suit instead I guess……….…+and+I+haven%27t+even…-a083426804

  168. Frost says:

    Frost says:
    25 March, 2015 at 7:30 am
    It would have been ok if Nicola had spent the money on a Versace suit instead I guess……….…-a083426804

  169. john king says:

    GM_Dundonian says @ 2.17am

    Well I bet after having the utter piss ripped out of his daily rag on twitter and beyond tonight over coffeegate, you could say Mr Crichton will be feeling…

    -Dons Shades-

    a little depresso!


    O.k, that was bad, I’ll leave.

    Your gaun nowhere pal we’ve still got the conga line tae dae. 🙂

    I cant believe the amount of material left that I hadnt read,
    I started reading from the bottom up and I’m still pissing myself. 🙂

  170. Effijy says:

    Jim Smrphy seen wearing a Maxwell House Football top, but refused to comment on his favourite coffee until he tells his constituents

  171. starlaw says:

    Ive got a handmade iron griddle same as granny hung over the fire, must be worth a bit now. Should I feel ashamed ?

  172. Effijy says:

    How does Nicola’s Coffe machine, paid with her own cash, compare to the price of a Tory Duck House, or in Labour’s case, a seaside house paid for the tax payer which is supposed to handy for Westminster?

    Absolutely shocking when measured against the Smurph’s £200,000 expenses claim.

    PS Didn’t the Smurph recently take the Scottish Press out for lunch on us? ( When I say press, I mean those who write what they are told)

  173. Bob Mack says:

    For shame!! I have the same one.!
    Ever walk past a shop that sells coffee beans ? I am addicted.

  174. Alastair says:

    Multiple options at £981.07 on Amazon with free delivery. Thats 30% discount which is pretty normal on electrical good. Record quotes RRP which nobody pays. But usually for the Record they have only inflated their story by 30%. Ah huh it’s just become clear they used Record Rook Price.

  175. john king says:

    Rigmac7 says @ 2.16am
    “Je suis Nicola’s Delonghi”

    Thats not what I heard buddy.

    deshorties the word on the street. 😉

  176. Bob Mack says:

    Ps How can anyone with her figure be on first name terms with an Indian takeaway driver.She would be the size of a hoose.Like me.

  177. john king says:

    Richie says @ 1.03am
    “Should I sell it for charity and shite in the cat litter tray?”

    Yes but wait until the cat comes out
    Its only good manners,
    and spray some oust fur goads sake,
    the cat has standards ye ken.

  178. john king says:

    Famous15 says @ 12.19am
    “Brian Wilson. Peas in a pod.”

    can he no even afford a chanty?
    Ah’ll get ma record (ootside cludgie) 🙂

  179. Helena Brown says:

    Good grief,been rumbled again,bought a Tassimo then decided that I still preferred my coffee made in the good old stove top Italian fashion, so bought a stainless steel one, anyone want to buy a new Tassimo. Liked the fact that Nicola has only one kitchen like the rest of us. Should she not be using Bute House presently, she is a busy woman you know.

  180. ex-expat says:

    A Labour peer used the words ‘astonishing’ and ‘out of kilter with her policies.’

    However, the following is a quote from a BBC (sorry) news item in December 2013

    “Half the members of the House of Lords clock in and out of Parliament for a few minutes a day in order to claim a £300 daily attendance allowance, a former Conservative peer has said.
    Lord Hanningfield made the claim when challenged to explain his own attendance record.”

    Stand up and name yourself Labour Peer and let us have a look at your expenses claims. And this from an unelected, unrepresentative bunch of self-promoters with their entire bodies wallowing in the public trough.

  181. MJC says:

    I’d imagine Nicola also extravagantly uses the extremely self centred andrex toilet roll to attend to her arse! Whilst a lot of less fortunates are stuck with using the daily record to attend to thiers!

  182. heedtracker says:

    “Alex Salmond will block future Conservative” is current BBC R4 news headline which is a another weird UKOK headline as its hardly news let alone a headline. Maybe red or blue tory R4 producers got the hump with it all or dont listen to their own relentless UKOK news stuff, watch Andrew Marr, BBC DailY Politics, Sunday Politics, read no UKOK newspapers, like the Daily Record.

  183. john king says:

    Cearc says
    “(Only one kitchen though).”

    Cearc’s kitchen

    Ive got the pitchforks can somebody else bring the burning torches?

  184. manandboy says:

    Britain’s economic debate is dominated by a bogus narrative.

    Mainstream media in the UK routinely present as fact,
    propositions that are contentious if not plain wrong.

    Just two of the many withering criticisms offered
    by Paul Krugman in the NY Times, and reported by Stefan Schmid in yesterday’s The National.

    The picture is clear – the only version of events
    being printed or broadcast in Britain today,
    is being dictated by the corrupt serial liars
    known as the Westminster Government.

    Here in the UK, we are but one step away, at most,
    from joining North Korea as the world’s most corrupt State.

    For a glimpse of reality in the UK these days,
    the top choices are Wings, Bella, Bateman and The National.
    Apart from these, and only a few others,
    there is more chance of finding a factual account
    of what is going on in a cinema.

  185. Macart says:

    De’Longhi I’m sure, would like thank Torcuil for his services to product placement. 😀

  186. Helena Brown says:

    I should have made it clear that I wasn’t criticising Nicola, more that said coffee maker wouldn’t be getting used right now as she shouldn’t be there.

  187. Author_al says:

    Some things in the tabloids are definitely true. The Express on friendliest people in UK.

  188. Richardinho says:

    The Daily Record itself no doubt makes a lot of money for some people and I don’t doubt that they have even more expensive coffee machines than Nicola Sturgeon.

    What’s repellent about the Daily Record is it’s ‘prolier than thou’ attitude; It promotes the idea that there’s something inherently virtuous about poverty and therefore it’s a good thing that there are poor people (so the Daily Record can sell newspapers to them of course).

    The (in my opinion) correct position to hold is that poverty is a bad thing and we should endeavour to lift people out of it as far as possible. Those who have escaped it through honest means deserve respect and admiration, but they also have a duty not to kick the ladder by which they climbed up away from them.

    For me socialism (and I embrace the term) is absolutely about being aspirational and not about wallowing in poverty. The former I identify with the SNP the latter with the Daily Record and the labour party.

  189. maxi kerr says:

    HA HA,What do you expect fae a nobhead with a name like”Torcuil” me and ma mates Rupert,and Perigrine had a great wee laugh tae ourselves.

  190. Rigmac7 says:

    John King @ 7.56am

    Erm, do you mean I am Alexandra Deshorties (born 1975), a French-Canadian soprano who sings principally opera.

    Cos I’m not, Je suis moi 🙂

  191. Dr Ew says:

    Apparently next Wednesday the Daily Record is going to print some stories that are actually true!

    Just until noon, mind you. Later editions will go back to the usual tomfoolery.

  192. Truth says:

    Maybe the article was withdrawn because he realised how much his vast array of Harris Tweed jackets cost. £300 a pop the last time I checked.

    Of there’s one thing people detest Torcuil, it’s a hypocrite.

  193. Ron says:

    A glimpse into the First Minister’s home in an interview with Good Morning Britain’s Suzannah Reid showed a kitchen worktop that was bare except for the expensive bean-to-cup coffee machine

    What did they expect to see on her worktop, auld chip papers and dirty plates? Are they trying to imply that she only drinks coffee and doesn’t eat or something?

  194. Rigmac7 says:

    MJC @ 8.06am

    I heard that too, but it’s worse…….apparently she only uses one side!!

  195. DRD Woodward says:

    …………and if the Record had been doing a story on the ‘scrounging benefit fraudsters’ and come across this in one of their house . … it wouldn’t be well done .. managing to save up for something like that … it would be .. we must be ‘giving’ them to much … Either way , as mentioned by someone … its probably a wedding gift !

  196. MJC says:

    Radio Scotland right now a debate on f#####g politicans kitchens!!!! EXPERT interia designer drafted in for analysis! The banal, pointless aspirations delivered to us by the commentaters of the political scene, is akin to counting the bits of wood embedded into the rolls of woodchip wallpaper adorning a large hallway. Informed I feel not.

  197. Ron says:

    It’s just as well Nicola didn’t offer the reporter a decadent empire biscuit to go with her bean-to-cup or the printing presses would have exploded.

  198. FortBill says:

    I suppose on a serious note what it does display is the microscopic detail the are willing to go to try and dish some dirt on the SNP, god save us if we find Alex has one too! If that is the case it’s probably a conspiracy by the Columbian coffee/drug cartels!

  199. Socrates MacSporran says:

    Some terrific tweets and cogent comments here, except – the one about Big Dim Jim being photographed with a jar of Lidl instant.

    Won’t happen, as a prominent member of the Celtic famiy, Big Dim Jim cannot go near anything with a H*n connotation.

  200. Richard Tait says:

    Torcuil seems to be a bit of a Farquhar

  201. nycgype says:

    While you’re all having a laugh and a joke about this childish scandal you have let your guards down and the biggest scandal of all has passed you by..

    “Donald Urquhart says:
    24 March, 2015 at 11:00 pm
    Just to put this in context… here’s an extract from Jim Sheridan’s Labour MP’s expenses; paid for by our taxes ( unlike Nicola’s coffee maker ) that could have gone to a chef or hospital porter…

    £991.95 for a memory foam mattress & ivory leather bed
    £500 for furniture & household accessories
    £699 for a three-seater sofa
    £829 for a two-seater sofa bed
    £219 for a coffee table
    £199 for a lamp table
    £359 for a wardrobe
    £299 for a chest of drawers
    £159 for a bedside cabinet
    £109 for a mirror
    £1,200 to have ceilings, walls and woodwork painted
    £1,280 for a new shower
    £595 for new blinds
    £699.99 42-inch for a plasma television
    £219.99 for a four-year warranty for said television”

    Jim Sheridan wasted your tax payer money signing up for completely pointless 4 years worth of safety and security warranty for his TV. Everyone knows these are no more than a money making scheme for those with their fingers in the pie. He’ll never be in a position to use it but will no doubt renew it for twice as much at the end of the term.

    Does this man get a say in Trident?

  202. Rigmac7 says:

    Maxi Kerr @ 8.19am

    Lol, belter

  203. Tinto Chiel says:

    Word is Jim Murphy’s got a wee bottle of Camp coffee in his cupboard.

  204. jackie g says:

    John King@7.01am

    John Comedy Roadshow indeed!

    I went away for one night and missed all the fun 🙂

    cearc @1.26am

    That article on Dave being mauled by the pensioners was classic..:-) its still making me laugh.

    Wee piece of advise for oor Dave don’t patronise the auld yins because:

    One:They have been on the planet a lot longer than you.

    Two:As a dear departed friend of mine used to say ‘i might be auld son but am no daft 🙂

    keep it coming folks..

  205. G4jeepers says:

    Hey! Torquil

    Fu (*cough*) eh?

  206. john king says:

    DRD Woodward says @8.3.32
    “its probably a wedding gift !”

    Me an the wife were thinking about renewing our marriage vows (well the old ones were spoken in latin)
    any Delonghi coffee machines as wedding gifts welcome! 🙂

  207. Bob Mack says:

    Conservatives accuse Alex Salmond of” trying to block the democratic will of the British people” if he votes against Camerons budget.
    I suppose British includes the Scots who will vote Alex into Westminster? Or perhaps not.It could be that British ceases to exist once you cross the border heading North. Ho hum

  208. john king says:

    Maxi Kerr says @ 8.19
    “HA HA,What do you expect fae a nobhead with a name like”Torcuil” me and ma mates Rupert,and Perigrine had a great wee laugh tae ourselves.”

    Maximilian, yer teas oot and tell Perigrine and Rupert its time to go home, their parents’ll be letting the Dobermans out shortly.

  209. Votadini Jeannie says:

    @ maxi kerr

    Nowt wrong wi Torcuil – a guid Scots name. But the one called Crichton is a bit of a disgrace to Scotland.

    “out of kilter with her policies”

    Has she policies on the price of coffee machines? Is there an upper limit in her manifesto? Is it means-tested? As a benefits claimant, am I even allowed one? We should be told!

  210. Defo says:

    Torcuil is a Camp man, through and through.

  211. Ken MacColl says:

    How have the mighty fallen! What promise we had when young Torcuil, a starry eyed and idealistic socialist slaved away all those years ago at the radical West Highland Free Press blindly following his mentor Brian Wilson, scourge of independence and other crazy notions. It was clear then that Torcuil was not going to remain for long in the clutches of the Broadford Beano and, as we expected, off he went South to share his starry talents with the intelligentsia in the Deep South.In his absence the entire circulation area of the WHFP became exclusively SNP supporting with just a few LibDem MPs awaiting the chop in May. Occasionally we spotted Torcuil, billed tnen as the London correspondent (?) of the Daily Record sharing his insight with confused viewers in Press Review programmes but he has now surely fulfilled that early promise with insightful Which reports on the First Minister’s kitchen. Where next Torcuil?

  212. Chic McGregor says:

    Tornquill at his best.

  213. Macart says:

    And in a follow up to yesterdays bombshell in a HoL report stating that the Smith Commission proposals needn’t be acted upon…

    …we have Gordo’s guarantee of a permanent Scottish parliament sinking without trace.

  214. Craig vint says:

    If you happen by Murray Footes twitter lair you’ll notice that torcuil’s boss makes brickies carry too many bricks on their heads and advocates slave labour in schools making small garden trowels, sort of. Actually not at all but that seems to be the criteria for a DR story nowadays.

  215. Now's the Hour says:

    By way of ‘balance’ Jim was asked to comment, but he couldn’t remember whether he had a coffee maker or not.

  216. Naina Tal says:

    Sune I’ll be getting the auld age pension. So I guess I’ll hiv tae fling oot aw the indulgences ah’ve bocht with ma ain money ower the years.

    There’s a wheen o musical instruments and furniture, antiques and stuff. And an Asda filter coffee machine bocht afore they went on thon list.

    Bit I’ll no be jinin’ the nawbags just bcos I’m auld.

  217. Caroline Corfield says:

    Oh too funny, I’m kinda glad I missed this as it unfolded and got to read it all in condensed form. I’ll be away to twitter to check the tweets out later.

    Quite seriously, though, on the subject of second kitchens, I can say with some authority having been told this by my local council tax evaluation officer, a kitchen is defined by it’s cooker. A room can only be called a kitchen if it has an electric power, solid fuel or gas source for the installation of a cooker. Sinks don’t cut it. In fact actual cookers are un-necessary , just the means to fuel them.

    Ed might want to call it a second kitchen but a microwave, or indeed a conventional, work-top, plug-into-the-wall-socket oven doesn’t make it one. (you need the big grey wire and the separate fuse for a real cooker)

    If he does really have a second kitchen then I’m sure his local council tax evaluation officer would be most interested, as his house may need re-evaluating.

  218. Stoker says:

    Michael McCabe wrote:
    “@ Stoker I just got rid of my Vax, It was just sitting in the corner gathering dust.”

    Show off!

  219. sydthesnake says:

    I have the “MOST EXPENSIVE COFFEE MAKER” shame on me will I need to resign from the SNP, I married my coffee maker 28 years ago and god only knows how much I have spent on her over the years, but she’s well worth it, she make a lovely cuppa

  220. Pin says:

    I packed in the ol’ Twitter not long after the indyref. The missus was turning into a Twitter widow.

    Sometimes miss it though…

  221. Muscleguy says:

    I don’t often buy coffee when out. But memory tells me you can easily spend £1.80 here in Dundee. Let’s round that up to £2 for Edinburgh prices. £680/2 = 340, except there are two adults in the house so that’s £680/4 = 170 which is the number of working days it will take a coffee buying couple to recoup the cost of that machine (cost of beans/milk/sweetener not included). A friend of ours, single mum (university professor) has an older model, you just press a button and it grinds the right amount of beans and makes you a fresh coffee.

    So for a busy professional couple it makes economic sense to buy one of those instead of buying a coffee on the way to work.

    I wouldn’t, it pretty much requires you to settle on one roast of beans, every day. If you fancy a change it is not easy to scrape the beans out to replace them. So my personal coffee fantasy is a mini grinder. Been on my Amazon list for like ages.

  222. Robert Kerr says:

    I give up!

    The purist in me uses a Cona coffee maker, all glass, to prevent contamination by plastics and stainless steel.

    Shame on you Nicola. I might even waste my vote. You are unworthy.

  223. Martin says:

    Flabbergasted (although not sure why since it’s the DR!)

    A loony article which seeks to paint the FM badly without enlightening the reader with anything factual. As mentioned : was it a gift, was it purchased cheaper online (where it’s considerably cheaper) and did the FM possibly save up for it rather than splurge in one go??

    Next we’ll have an in-depth expose of what beans the FM buys no doubt! :/

  224. KennyG says:

    This guy sounds like a right nasty little sneering bastard.

    How much does he earn? What does he drive? What’s his house like?


  225. skozra says:

    I’ve only got a small Moka pot for making my coffee 🙁

  226. HandandShrimp says:

    An ordinary working man would do well if he could afford a 6 year old Ford Focus. I think Torquil needs to a synopsis of male MPs’ motors.

    We wouldn’t want people thinking he is a misogynistic little twonk.

  227. Mosstrooper says:

    Hahahahaha! Best laugh I’ve had for ages.

    Now to get rid of the Columbian coffee maker, which is a shame as she has been with me for years.

    Hey Torcy. not only do I know the name of the deliverer of Indian meals I know the guy who owns the restaurant the meal comes from.

    Woo Hoo do I live the high life. Only got a wee Dolce Gusto coffee machine though.

    (goes red and shuffles off)

  228. Author_al says:

    A coffee maker costs a month of someone’s salary.

    Daily Record cost Scotland Independence and the opportunity to make every inhabitant so bloody wealthy they can all afford coffee makers.

  229. no no no...yes says:

    Marvellous stuff which reveals the DR’s reputation is plummeting new depths. As for “Torquil’s first attempt at investigative journalism” he couldn’t detect the skin on a plate of custard.

  230. Cyborgnat says:

    The point the press are unintentionally making is that they have nothing left in the form of new policies or ideas to attack with.
    Their beloved red and blue tories are staring into the abyss yet the only counter attack, to sensible workable policies they can come up with, is the ownership of a fairly common coffee maker, probably bought for them at John Lewis as a wedding present.

  231. almannysbunnet says:

    Oh Nicola you’ve let me down. It’s a McPercolator or nothing, the cheap one mind, and I hope that’s not new shoes I see you with! That’s it I’m not voting for you ever again, the scales have fallen from my eyes.
    The Daily Record, setting the standard for investigative journalism. pfft

  232. Graham says:

    How much does Crichton get paid?

  233. Graeme14 says:

    My wife & I BOUGHT a bread-maker with wedding money we received last year. Cost was £74. So far, my missus has make TWO LOAVES. Currently working out at £37 per loaf! What a snob, eh?

  234. geeo says:

    What was the Daily record’s take on Murphy claiming a £1.35 bottle of Irn Bru on expenses?

    That would pay 20.7% of the hourly rate of a person on minimum wage.

    Since Nicola has not been accused in the article of claiming this coffee machine on expenses, and i am sure if she has this article would have jumped all over it, then it seems she has paid for it out her own pocket.

    Unlike Murphy, taking 20.7% equivalent from the public purse, that a hard pressed worker on minimum wage has as income, to buy there own £1.35 bottle of Irn Bru.

    That should be your story.

  235. McBoxheid says:

    heedtracker says:
    24 March, 2015 at 10:43 pm

    What next from Torquil? Scotland’s First Minister seen in new car costing £23,000 horror.

    I’ve just found the new offical car for Slab post election.×4&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=HJ8SVarxO9LT7AawzoHYDQ&ved=0CC4QsAQ&biw=1280&bih=857
    Although the 4×4 will probably be far too big for their Westminster representatives

  236. crazycat says:

    @ Muscle Guy

    You can get a free electric coffee grinder if you buy as few as 3 months’ worth of Fairtrade coffee from these people:

    I gave someone a subscription a year or so back, and both the grinder and the coffees got high marks.

  237. Stoker says:

    heedtracker wrote:
    “What next from Torquil? Scotland’s First Minister seen in new car costing £23,000 horror.”

    Ah ha, but will it be one of 2 Jags!

  238. Fred says:

    I wonder if Nicola gets the world’s most expensive coffee, the one made from beans which are hand-picked from the shit of a kind of jungle ferret. Nae kiddin!

    On a trip to Edinburgh yesterday I purchased a new rubber ring & filter plate for my wee Moka Express pot. At seven quid this was more than I paid for the pot. I should have kept my wits aboot me & went to the Barras, Torquil, but hey-ho, what the fuck!

  239. bob mooney says:

    Thats it, our posh Miele vaccum cleaner is going in the bin and we are buying a brush and shovel – anything to stop Torquil thinking that we are wasting our pension money on frivolous items, if fact we are also going to stop buying the Record as it is possibly a bigger waste of money.

    P.S. do not tell the wife.

    First they laugh at you etc. etc.

  240. ian says:

    So this is what its come to from the better together unionist camp,banal or what?I always believed that general élections were about policys and about a vision for the future but i was quite clearly wrong.

  241. Iain Gray's Subway Lament says:

    Does this tabloid moron not realise how many greedy westminster expenses cheats ‘scottish’ Labour and the tories have?

    Do the names Malcolm Rifkind and Jack Straw mean nothing to this imbecile?

    Yeah, we’ll soon see who the scottish public finds more objectionable on the streets and on the doorsteps.

  242. Patrick Roden says:

    @Thepnr, thanks mate, unexpected but appreciated.

    ‘The Broken Record’ haha, brilliant!

  243. Irene says:

    Sorry, I can’t remember who wrote this…it was about Sheridan’s expenses. Anyway, thank you so much…I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. The phrase “Nicola Sturgeon needs decent coffee more than Sheridan needs a f***ing mirror” shall sustain me through my afternoon’s traipsing through the streets shoving leaflets through doors. Thank you, sir.

  244. Gerr McMullan says:

    I have a castle for my sand.An elephant so as I remember.A chameleon for a change .A mouse that roars.A cat who thinks he is the dogs bo££o%%s.A mirage in the garden, quite a lot there am I due anyone tax (forgot 8 windows).

  245. Davy says:

    I have a CUP for my coffee only, what a bastard eh.

  246. Stoker says:

    Davy wrote:
    “I have a CUP for my coffee only, what a bastard eh.”

    Nevermind, Davy, come the 8th May 2015 your cup shall runneth over.

  247. Ken MacColl says:

    Tried reading the original article on line but could not get through the strange website that the Record runs. Interested to see that the Record thinks that the rival Sun is a “down market tabloid”
    I suppose they would know.

  248. Effijy says:


    Don’t you realise that you could have bought one of David Cameron or George Osborne’s Bullingdon Club “Drinking Suits for only £3,600? If you only had a budget of £1,200 you could have bought
    the trousers!

    How sad and depraved can the Dizzy Rabid be before they finally close the doors?

    I feel sorry for the ordinary staff who work in there.
    It must be soul destroying when people ask what you do for a living.

    They probably lie and say that are Bailiffs or Debt Collectors!

  249. Ian Mackay says:

    The First Minister of Scotland can afford a coffee maker.

    Is that their story? Seriously? They have lost the bloody plot!

    Years ago I read John Harvey-Jones book Troubleshooter. He describes a time when ICI were going through hard times. He wanted to change his roller for an economy car to illustrate his solidarity with the workers. The workers didn’t like that and told him to buy a Rolls Royce. They didn’t want their chairman to be seen as having to use budget class.

    If you are the First Minister of a country then by all means buy yourself a coffee maker if you want one… otherwise what would it say about Scotland?

  250. Iain Dubh says:

    Tha aig an’t huile dhuinne:
    This day’s “wings”, has been one of the best ever – you’ve made an old man very happy!
    Iain Mac dhonnadhaidh.

  251. Fred says:

    Nicola should just announce that this machine was a wedding present. End of!

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