Summer is, as we’ve said before, the “silly season” for politics. Wings readers will have noticed that like everywhere else, we’ve been rather lighter on content than usual for the last three months as politicians celebrated their general election victories by giving themselves long holidays – sorry, “time for constituency work” – and in the absence of a referendum campaign to fill the gap there wasn’t much going on.
So we can’t blame the media for raking over old ground in search of anything to fill threadbare column inches with. But it’s less excusable when the things they choose to reheat, repackage and reissue are ancient, endlessly-disproven lies.
Let’s start off by losing some more friends. This site has no time for the Gaelic lobby. The obsolete language spoken by just 0.9% of Scotland’s population might be part of the nation’s “cultural heritage”, but so were burning witches and replacing Highlanders with sheep and we don’t do those any more either.
Being multilingual is an excellent thing, but the significant amount of time and effort taken to learn a literally-pointless second language (because everyone you can talk to in Gaelic already understood English) would be vastly better directed to picking up one that was actually of some use, and every extra fraction of a second spent scanning a road sign trying to find the bit you can read is a fraction of a second spent with your eyes off the road.
Non-primary native languages are a tool whose main utility in practice is at best the exclusion of outsiders, and at worst an expression of dodgy blood-and-soil ethnic nationalism. They’re a barrier to communication and an irritation to the vast majority of the population, who are made to feel like uncultured aliens in their own land.
But we’d still rather put up with Gaelic than complete idiots making our laws.
We were greatly amused to learn this morning that Professor Adam Tomkins of Glasgow University, the bad-tempered darling of the Scottish Conservatives and the only political pundit who can make Alan Cochrane of the Telegraph seem measured and thoughtful, plans to stand for election to the Scottish Parliament next May.
We suspect he’ll succeed, too. It now seems plain that Ruth Davidson’s move earlier this month from the Glasgow list to the Lothian one was a ploy to get Prof. Tomkins to the top of the former, and while a Tory list seat in Glasgow is by no means a certainty next year, it’s more likely than not.
(We’ll be somewhat startled if the irritable English academic finds the courage to even try contesting a constituency in Scotland’s largest city. It’s moderately possible that his abrasive hectoring of Scottish voters’ stupidity in continuing to elect the SNP might not go down too well in the council schemes of Easterhouse and Drumchapel.)
Trying to pick out the funniest line in the announcement is no easy task.
Yesterday we noted an interesting apparent shift in the BBC’s political stance with regard to Scotland. Two serving senior political reporters have made open attacks on the SNP, backed up by other media and politicians, seemingly abandoning all notions of the impartiality to which the BBC is bound by charter.
(The Guardian’s hostile editorial was particularly bizarre, suggesting that devolving control of broadcasting in Scotland to Holyrood would turn the BBC into a mouthpiece of government, which inescapably suggests that the current Westminster-controlled BBC is a tool of either Labour or the Tories, depending which one is in power.)
This morning’s edition of The Times is the latest to join the offensive.
You’d put this down as a slip of the tongue, but when it came in the middle of an extended bout of bodyswerving John Mackay’s straightforward question about a referendum on Trident, maybe Kezia Dugdale really was just saying what she meant.
Stat-pummelled readers will be glad to know that this is the last article we plan to write about the vagaries of the AMS electoral system, and how it might apply to next year’s Scottish Parliament election, for some time. This one also shouldn’t be full of tables and figures, so strap yourself in and let’s get this job finished.
We’ve only ourselves to blame, we’d be the first to admit. When we titled yesterday’s piece “AMS for lazy people” it was pretty much an invitation for people to get us to do their research for them, and so it proved.
Even as we slumped exhausted over a red-hot calculator, several readers wasted no time demanding a breakdown of how the mechanisms of the electoral system had affected last year’s European elections, in which UKIP defied some expectations (and delighted the Unionist parties and media) by taking a seat in Scotland.
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “You two girls should stop being so coy – just get a room?” Oct 7, 21:51
sarah on There May Be Justice: ““This is about being a country that is worthy of independence… Scotland is not currently such a country.” It’s not…” Oct 7, 21:46
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““Scientists who believe technology will largely solve the problems caused by the climate crisis are less likely to engage in…” Oct 7, 21:00
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: ““Former Haringey Councillor Emina Ibrahim” I’m not seeing her as a credible witness or somebody who might automatically be afforded…” Oct 7, 20:15
Bilbo on There May Be Justice: “https://archive.is/AAfpG Scientists who put faith in technology less likely to take climate action – ‘Techno-optimism’ may lead to reliance on…” Oct 7, 20:11
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “@Aidan Yes, absolutely, “laughably half-arsed cherry picking nonsense” doesn’t even begin to cover it. I mean, it’s all so juvenile…” Oct 7, 20:07
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “”Bzzzzz….bzzzzz…bzzzzzz” One of your, ahem, appliances no doubt…” Oct 7, 20:05
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “I don’t know what you keep going on about with this Fifeshire thing, I can only assume you’re suffering from…” Oct 7, 20:01
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““the war against the miners would not have been attempted” Anither gloaming, anither wee daunder doon Memory Lane, this time…” Oct 7, 20:00
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: ““when I lived in england I couldn’t even tolerate a cup of their tea it tasted so bad” Assuming you…” Oct 7, 18:46
James on The Love Of Big Brother: “Says the ‘dullard’ who doesn’t even know where he’s been. How’s things in “Fifeshire”, Adrian?” Oct 7, 18:37
Aidan on There May Be Justice: “You say you lived in England for a while, where were you? Frankland or Durham?” Oct 7, 18:26
agentx on There May Be Justice: “The £3 million civil misfeasance lawsuit is currently in the pre-trial “adjustment stage,” with a court-approved 12-week postponement pushing the…” Oct 7, 18:23
Confused on There May Be Justice: “the anglo always doubles down https://archive.ph/qNgB2 – their own water is full of shit, their biggest water company is 20B…” Oct 7, 17:58
Confused on There May Be Justice: “mind and keep your hatred pure https://archive.ph/w18yZ madame thatch created an “economic boom” by PUMPING OUR OIL LIKE FUCK -…” Oct 7, 17:55
Aidan on The Love Of Big Brother: “We know as well, CC and Hatey that those figures are wrong for the following reasons: – the figure for…” Oct 7, 17:16
Onlooker on There May Be Justice: “Anybody got any idea what’s happening with the Alex Salmond case? Not heard anything for a while. Thanks in advance.” Oct 7, 16:00
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Love Of Big Brother: “EQUALITY WATCHDOG CHIEF DEMOLISHES MYTHS ABOUT SINGLE-SEX GUIDANCE The Chairwoman of the Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) has dismissed…” Oct 7, 14:43
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Yet another spectacular pic in the MSM this morning. An oil tanker ablaze on the Black Sea. If the sea…” Oct 7, 10:04
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “Yup, seems totally legit, Hatey. Silly me. Who could doubt it, given such extensive, compelling evidence, watertight arguments and citation…” Oct 7, 10:01
Hatey McHateface on There May Be Justice: “Guardian of the people. Lord protector. Supreme leader. Head of state. There’s always one. All the arguments, and wars, ultimately…” Oct 7, 09:38
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “@CC 9:04 You’re misrepresenting what’s being claimed. It’s for everybody, not just those of working age. And it’s not just…” Oct 7, 09:24
Hatey McHateface on The Love Of Big Brother: “Superb copying and pasting there, James. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen better. Let me know which words, ideas and…” Oct 7, 09:13
Captain Caveman on The Love Of Big Brother: “Imagine believing that the mere act of gaining independence (method TBC) you would, overnight, magic up an EXTRA £60,000 per…” Oct 7, 09:04
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on There May Be Justice: “Transcription of part of Q&A exchange translated into English by app… QUESTION FROM AUDIENCE: You’ve spoken again about the Lieutenant…” Oct 7, 01:48
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on There May Be Justice: “PAUL ST-PIERRE PLAMANDON du PARTI QUÉBÉCOIS (PQ) présente ses priorités | Élections Québec 2026 « Le Parti québécois (PQ) a…” Oct 6, 23:58
willie on There May Be Justice: “Ah so this will be why the Standards Commission destroyed all the case records. In the light of Lord Sandison’s…” Oct 6, 21:44
James on The Love Of Big Brother: ““Humiliated and defeated”. LOLZ, aye that’s right, Adrian ya clown. And here’s your wee ubiquitous pal arrived, Adrian. All day,…” Oct 6, 21:32