There was a rather comforting predictability about the headlines the Scottish media greeted the first day of the SNP conference in Glasgow with.
Unsurprisingly, the Express’ lead story was a piece of fabricated drivel based on alleged quotes from an unnamed source claiming that the Scottish Government would resign in order to force an election and win a mandate that it already has.
(The SNP’s manifesto this May, on which it won a third landslide election victory in a row, clearly reserved the right to call a second referendum should there be a serious material change in circumstances, explicitly citing the Brexit scenario as an example.)
Both articles are essentially the sort of comedy pastiches of terrible journalism one might create as a cautionary example in a media studies degree course, so we’ll waste no more of your time on them. The Herald’s piece, though, is at least marginally more interesting.
Alert readers may recall that almost three years ago, the No campaign issued a series of dire warnings that independence could cause supermarket prices to rise:
Thankfully, by staying in the UK and therefore leaving the EU, Scotland etc etc.
Readers may be aware that Wings Over Scotland is (fairly remarkably, really) the UK’s second-most-read politics blog, behind the hardcore right-wing “Guido Fawkes”.
Our “competitor” isn’t a site we look at a lot – the comments make the Daily Mail readership seem like enlightened and thoughtful moderates – but last week someone asked us about a smear piece they’d run on SNP MP Corri Wilson, and we only just remembered today to check it out. Our initial findings weren’t well received.
It seems that Mr Fawkes and his minions aren’t too keen on scrutiny themselves.
Ever since Scottish Daily Mail political editor Alan Roden jumped ship to go and rearrange the deckchairs for Labour, his former paper has very noticeably toned down its hysterical “SNP BAD” content. We can go through the Mail for days on end now without finding some ludicrously distorted misrepresentation or screaming outrage piece about how a Nat MP found 20p down the back of their sofa without declaring it to HMRC or such.
But we suppose that it’ll at least be bleakly funny, whenever the second independence referendum comes round, watching Labour try to sell a vote for the UK as a vote for internationalist brotherhood and solidarity.
To be honest, readers, we gave up on taking any notice of David Torrance‘s mundane attempts at trolling in the Herald some time ago. But some alert readers pointed us towards this week’s column, suggesting that it was a bald rewriting of history some way beyond their usual bland irritancy.
This was the passage they objected to:
It’s a patronising piece of “shut up and eat your cereal” condescension for sure. But to be fair to Torrance, it does also happen to be true. Wait, not true. The other thing.
The starting pistol hasn’t actually been fired on the two-year Brexit process yet, but now we have a clear statement of when it will be: this morning on The Andrew Marr Show, the Prime Minister pledged that it would happen before the end of next March.
(We might end up broke, in other words, but at least we’ll be good old British broke, with none of those awful smelly foreign Euro-Johnnies around to see it.)
And nobody was getting a sick note.
And for supporters of independence, that’s about as good as news gets.
The Daily Telegraph just released a video called “100 Reasons Why Brexit Was A Good Thing”. It listed them to a soundtrack of “Jerusalem”, the same song that closed the Labour Party conference earlier this week with its stirring ode to just one of the four nations of the United Kingdom.
We’ve saved a few of the highlights below, just in case the Telegraph should delete the video in a fit of sanity. We’ve also added one fake one. See if you can spot it.
Geri on The Queer Parliament: ““for blowing up non-combatant Europeans…” LOL, ya dunce, the whole of NATO is involved with trying to attack R &…” May 22, 16:32
Jim Thomson on Only An Excuse: “The SPFL are “investigating” apparently. Not going to hold my breath https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/articles/c70vk78271ro” May 22, 16:22
100%Yes on Only An Excuse: “The National went from £20 for a full years subscription to Get 3 months of The National for just 73p,…” May 22, 15:52
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: ““Northy, you’ll soon be back to your usual sharp-witted self…” Yes… I expect I will be soon enough, Caveman. A…” May 22, 15:28
lothianlad on Only An Excuse: “Correct Stu !! Glasgow centric Scottish establishment organisations cannot be held to account. in this day and age, Anything seems…” May 22, 15:18
Insider on Only An Excuse: “Aye Alf ! I should have guessed… Poor decisions by Scottish football referees are caused by “colonialism” ! Perhaps it’s…” May 22, 15:17
Captain Caveman on The Queer Parliament: ““Never apologise! Never give up! Never surrender! Yeah, I’m in one of those moods theday… it will pass – hopefully…” May 22, 14:37
Captain Caveman on The Queer Parliament: ““In other news, allegedly R can now remote control U drones & reverse them back to whence they came &…” May 22, 14:30
Col on Only An Excuse: “Interesting to note that Gordon Smith reckons teams should get points deducted for pitch invasions by their supporters. Seems reasonable,…” May 22, 14:27
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: ““the only Scottish legal academics to do so” ? Here is an alternative learned perspective on Scotland’s colonial reality, presented…” May 22, 13:59
BLMac on Only An Excuse: “If there’s a fan invasion, the game should become a win for the other team.” May 22, 13:41
Luigi on Only An Excuse: “The SFA have always been a bunch of cowards, afraid to stand up to the Old Firm. One reason (not…” May 22, 13:16
TURABDIN on Only An Excuse: “ENGLAND is making mincemeat of Scotland, the first element to go in the mincer Scotland’s collective balls. Is mr Swinney…” May 22, 12:59
Willie on Only An Excuse: “Its unlikely in the extreme that a resumption of tbe match for a last minute would have changed the result.…” May 22, 12:59
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: “Never apologise! Never give up! Never surrender! Yeah, I’m in one of those moods theday… it will pass – hopefully…” May 22, 12:30
Alf Baird on Only An Excuse: “A colonial Establishment = ‘legalized lawlessness’ (Elkins): Repressive when challenged; well-practiced cover-ups; never held accountable for its actions/mistakes. Expect Hearts…” May 22, 12:23
Alf Baird on The Queer Parliament: ““The *no way out* claim is defeatist bullshit” Indeed, and it is clearly not only “the colonizer (who) maintains that…” May 22, 12:03
Williams on Only An Excuse: “Absolute disgrace and travesty, etc. Both Celtic & Hearts need to be relegated immediately (especially Hearts – for something they’re…” May 22, 12:01
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Okeydoke, my mistake. There used to be poster called Lorna. I assumed you were the same one. My bad..” May 22, 11:56
Lorncal on The Queer Parliament: “James Che: your insults are just silly and I won’t rise to them. Just because Westminster says or does something…” May 22, 11:54
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: “I repeat (and in bold, anaw)… independence first, then everything else! We Scots who seek our liberation from oppression should…” May 22, 11:49
Lorncal on The Queer Parliament: “I use Lorncal, Geri, as you use Geri. Shall I call you something else? I suggest that you and others…” May 22, 11:39
Northcode on The Queer Parliament: ““If Scotland’s malady has been mis-diagnosed, and we’re not suffering from colonisation, does that mean you’re prescribing the wrong remedy?…” May 22, 11:14
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “Shiteface, Can’t. It’s running out remember? The pishy UK cannot refine it & it lacks the infrastructure to do so.…” May 22, 11:00
Jamie on The Land Of No Laws: “Considering Scotland only managed to remain independent due to international alliances most prominently with France in the auld alliance, I…” May 22, 10:58
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “So the Scottish parliament never signed off on the union if it closed shop? It also wasn’t within their remit…” May 22, 10:27
Geri on The Queer Parliament: “They were on the phone begging them for aviation fuel too. R told them to GTF. Imagine having the audacity…” May 22, 09:56
James Che on The Queer Parliament: “Lornicl, The political parliamentary treaty of union between Scotland and England does not exist when both Countries cancelled and ceased…” May 22, 09:45
James Che on The Queer Parliament: “history lessons and exam results must have all held C’s and D’s.and fails for Lornical. But due to saying they…” May 22, 09:25
David on Only An Excuse: “I think we can agree there was at least a minute to go. It is unlikely Hearts would have scored…” May 22, 09:20