In the last few days we’ve been talking a lot about the bizarre perversion of arithmetic that now seems to dominate political campaigning in the UK, and which has the media so tied in knots that the poor Telegraph now thinks nothing of saying the SNP gained council seats, lost them and gained them again in the space of four paragraphs.
But numbers are confusing and we’re very hungry at the moment after some major dental surgery made eating difficult, so we weren’t really paying attention until Ruth Davidson started talking about pies.
Most of the papers today are full of stories screaming hysterically about a (real, but somewhat exaggerated) decline in Scottish educational standards. But if the contents of those papers are anything to go by, Scotland’s schools have been disgorging idiots into the general population for a lot longer than the last 10 years.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
When our dear old pal the Scottish Labour super-goon Duncan Hothersall tweeted this earlier today, we just couldn’t resist a wee fact-check. We love to see people take the moral high ground, but numbers are fluid these days and you can’t be too careful.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH What exactly don’t you understand about the 15th of March? Like missing-in-action bestie of yours (overweight/ overblown) Wilma Flintstone…” Feb 22, 23:58
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH @ 10.35 Nope! There’s nothing that indentured you (through coercion) beyond your time of service. Look it up unless…” Feb 22, 23:47
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Alf Given a perusal of tedious posts and GPs Scotchland Office and (ahem) “sponsors” unrebuked bombshell then I think it’s…” Feb 22, 22:51
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “A bit early, YL. You’re never in the zone much before 2 AM. I think that oath of allegiance you…” Feb 22, 22:35
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Didn’t he also say “never try to introduce new ideas to those whose heids are dense as stone”? He should…” Feb 22, 22:27
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “HMcH Given GP as good as outed you as a Scotchland Office stooge further up BTL then should any “rational…” Feb 22, 22:17
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Surely exactly as predicted by Fanon and Memmi, Alf. I do wonder why nobody is ever up for dealing with…” Feb 22, 22:16
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on When the law breaks the law: “Not sure whether the late Ruaraidh MacThòmais / Derick Thomson (who was certainly committed to Scottish independence) is preoccupied in…” Feb 22, 21:34
Cynicus on When the law breaks the law: “@Alf Baird, 22 February, 2026 at 7:43 pm ======== Alf, I commend to you the advice of HH Asquith: “Never…” Feb 22, 20:27
Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “You must be on piece-work from whoever pays you, Hatey, that’s 28 worthless diversionary contributions on this article alone from…” Feb 22, 19:43
Saffron Robe on When the law breaks the law: “I agree entirely with both your comments, Twathater. The current crop of Scottish politicians are indeed merely actors for independence…” Feb 22, 19:40
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Graves used to be a lot more spacious. Shrinkflation gets its teeth into everything. Back in the Victorian Age, when…” Feb 22, 18:18
Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Although “turn” was most likely used first in a speech given by a Mr Windham on the 4th November 1801…” Feb 22, 18:02
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““comprehensively lost the argument in Scotland vis-a-vis EU membership. the ship has sailed” Blethers. The argument has never been made.…” Feb 22, 17:48
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Surely “brocht low”, Northy, not “brought low”. It angers me more than mere words can express that I’m better at…” Feb 22, 17:41
Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “Since there’s nothing much happening on here again theday… here’s anither fragment of a braw poem scrieved by that most…” Feb 22, 17:29
agentx on When the law breaks the law: ““Alex Salmond will be rolling in his grave” ——————————————— The usual phrase is “turning in his grave”.” Feb 22, 17:27
Andy Ellis on When the law breaks the law: “@Hatey There’s no way the EU would have accepted separate memberships for Scotland and rUK on the same terms and…” Feb 22, 16:58
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““We’re economically significantly worse off than if we’d have become independent, because if that had happened brexit would never have…” Feb 22, 16:27
Andy Ellis on When the law breaks the law: “@Hatey Those who like to over-exaggerate the disaster of leaving one union (Brexit) sabotage the chances of leaving another (Indy).…” Feb 22, 15:50
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Gie’s a brek, Alf. Real nationalists ken fit self-determination is. It’s just the faux nationalists who want Scotland immediately locked…” Feb 22, 15:31
Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “““real” nationalists should be focused on… self determination” That is correct, but nationalists also need to better understand what self-determination…” Feb 22, 14:47
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Sorry, Andy, I replied to you a puckle of times, but every reply incurred the wrath of the moderation bot…” Feb 22, 14:30
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Calm doon, Northy. It’s likely just a poor translation into the lying tongue of the coloniser (Inglis) from the original…” Feb 22, 14:08
Southernbystander on When the law breaks the law: “Just for the record, England is not in deep trauma, a mad sort of conception that bears no relationship to…” Feb 22, 12:46
Sven on When the law breaks the law: “Ah me, if only it were an ill chosen metaphor which were to anger me more than words could express…” Feb 22, 11:52
Northcode on When the law breaks the law: “This angers me more than mere words can express: A source close to Alba added: “If Ash Regan was elected…” Feb 22, 10:38
agentx on When the law breaks the law: “Isle of Islay arrived in Scotland 🙂 https://www.vesselfinder.com/?imo=9970923” Feb 22, 10:08
TURABDIN on When the law breaks the law: “SCOTLAND MIGHT JUST POSSIBLY be on the right track when people of certain type are no longer in charge of…” Feb 22, 09:38
