Sane people across the nation have watched in growing disbelief for the last two years as the UK government’s catastroshambles over Brexit has unfolded. In the latest jaw-dropping developments, David Davis has revealed that he’s only just now thinking of STARTING negotiating a trade deal with the EU – 22 months after the referendum and with absolutely no idea of how to solve the Irish Question on which it all depends.
Meanwhile, Faisal Islam of Sky News has made the pertinent point that the one “land-based” border between the UK and mainland Europe, the Channel Tunnel, has no infrastructure in place for serving as a checkpoint because it was fundamentally never designed or envisaged for a Europe without the UK, and the UK government has done absolutely nothing in the last two years to prepare for that changing.
And the more ludicrously chaotically and ineptly the whole farce plays out, the more it’s only possible to come to one rational conclusion about it: that the Prime Minister’s grand plan for enacting Brexit is to fail.
So everyone’s fighting about Gaelic again. Provoked by a minor story about a Gaelic dictionary MSM and alt-media pundits are flying at each other with daggers over a language spoken by almost nobody on Earth and on which the government spends a few measly and irrelevant pennies, trying to turn it into a proxy war over politics and the constitution and fascism and genocide and goodness knows what else.
We’ve covered the political nonsense around the issue numerous times on this site, and we’re not about to do so again here. This, as befits the Soapbox section, is a purely personal view, which will doubtless attract more furious shrieking from the sort of people who long ago lost the ability to listen to a counterpoint – or indeed tolerate the mere concept of one – let alone consider it or debate it without abuse.
But hey ho. After a while you just learn to tune that stuff out, so let’s go.
Holiday Boy is taking slacking to a new extreme to mark the onset of spring, and we’re sad to inform you that there’ll be no Cairnstoons on Wings for another couple of weeks while our intermittent satirist rearranges his Fabergé eggs or something.
Entirely by coincidence, yesterday we were doing some overdue admin, and as we filed away some previous bits of crayon-work we couldn’t help but be struck by the prescience of a few cartoons from various times, 2013 in particular.
So just in case anyone had forgotten (attention spans are short these days), here’s some of the insight we’re all currently missing.
We weren’t going to do anything on yesterday’s disturbing development in the legal wrangle between the Scottish and UK governments over devolved powers and Brexit, because the rest of the media has been covering it at length and we don’t have any particular expertise or insight to offer.
But it was hard to ignore the striking turn of phrase used, not by some sensationalist partisan commentator but by the learned and sober QC Jonathan Mitchell, last seen acting for the petitioners in the Alistair Carmichael lie case.
It doesn’t pull any punches, but as a summary of the relationship London wants to put in place between itself and the devolved nations for years to come (Labour-run Wales has already caved), and which Unionist politicians and the more witless pundits are of course portraying as unreasonable grievance-mongering and failure on the part of the Scottish Government, it’s about as accurate a description as you’re ever going to find.
Alert readers may recall that the Electoral Commission recently chose, to everyone’s (cough) great surprise, to take no action against extremist Unionist shout-monkeys Scotland In Union over a number of clear breaches of electoral rules, or for failing to disclose a number of large donations from extremely wealthy donors.
10 days ago the EC published a tranche of FOI documents relating to the case on its website, with the donor details redacted to protect the identity of the various Lords, Dukes, Earls and Countesses who’d rather you didn’t know that they’d been handing thousands of pounds at a time to SiU.
So, yeah. It was on this day in 1991 that the first ever proper issue of Amiga Power (A Magazine With Tatty Shoes, or something) hit Britons’ newsagents’ shelves.
>>SUB: PLEASE CHECK IMAGE
And while vast numbers of old games magazines are now available to read as lovely friendly PDFs or similar that you can load up onto your computer or electro-tablet and flick through page by page in a gratifying manner, AP inexplicably isn’t.
As alert readers will recall, nowadays we only look at the Scottish Daily Express if we’re absolutely desperate for material, so this piece slipped past us a few days ago:
And since the only thing in the papers today is page after page of unbearable fawning drivel about the stupendously insignificant (fifth in line to the throne, will never ever be king unless a terrorist blows up Buckingham Palace with an atomic bomb, is roughly as important to the wellbeing of the nation as Hamilton Accies’ third-choice goalkeeper) royal baby, we figured we may as well have a look at it now.
Even in a sluggish news season, it’s somehow extra-dispiriting to see a once-august newspaper like the Sunday Times fill its pages by trying to flog its readers reheated old cobblers from the previous day’s Daily Mail.
We’ve already shredded the towering stupidity of the story itself (the Times dutifully repeats all the exact same drivel about meal deals and loyalty vouchers), so we were pleased when social media presented a new angle on it.
Pointing out the spectacular levels of imbecility among Scotland’s elected Tories has threatened to become a full-time job for this website in recent months. We wish we could say that today’s example was even a particularly noteworthy one, but tragically it’s about par for the course.
Today’s Scottish Daily Mail leads with a rather limp piece about some fairly minor and unavoidable loopholes in the new legislation for minimum alcohol pricing. It notes, for example, that if people order alcohol online and it’s despatched by the supplier from outside Scotland, the Scottish Government will have no jurisdiction over the price.
(Because the UK has no internal border controls and there’s no law against someone buying cheaper booze in England and bringing it home to Scotland.)
Retailers, of course, can easily block this loophole if they choose to, by refusing to deliver cheap alcohol purchases to Scottish addresses, so it’s not much of a problem.
And the other “loopholes” aren’t actually loopholes at all – one*, according to the Mail, is that “loyalty reward vouchers can also continue to be offered to cut the cost of alcohol”, which is a bit like saying it’s a “loophole” that employers could give people pay rises that they might use to buy more beer.
But if you thought THAT was stupid, Annie Wells MSP is here to raise the bar.
(NB These rules do not apply to Andrew Neil, Nick Robinson, etc etc. Like, duh. In a properly democratic country we’d be able to use FOI to actually see the blacklist, but this is the BBC we’re talking about.)
Cynicus on Spoiler Alert: ““Credit should be apportioned to Stuart Campbell, proprietor of the Wings Over Scotland website, for identifying that several of the…” Dec 11, 03:33
Jill on The Valley Of The Dolls: “I hope that Sandy Peggie has the reserves of strength needed to carry on. What she’s been put through already…” Dec 11, 03:16
willie on Spoiler Alert: “What amount of wrong doing does one need to do to have sanction levied on the wrong doer. Biological man…” Dec 11, 01:08
Doug on Spoiler Alert: “it looks like mass litigation is going to be the only thing that breaks the stonewall ideology grip on our…” Dec 11, 00:11
Marie on Spoiler Alert: ““Lowly employment judges”. Lowly indeed. Lowly and cowardly.” Dec 10, 23:23
joolz on Spoiler Alert: ““The tribunal’s logic would justify installing smoke alarms only after the fire has started.” Spot on! I’ve been telling TRAs…” Dec 10, 22:38
holymacmoses on Spoiler Alert: ““One of the most troubling passages asserts there is insufficient evidence that a male person poses greater risk than a…” Dec 10, 22:18
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Geoff Anderson, I apologize I got you confused with someone else.” Dec 10, 21:04
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Its funny you’ve got a voice today, well done. Because on the constitutional question the SNP has you pissing your…” Dec 10, 20:48
Jay on Spoiler Alert: “Frearghas, thank you for making me think further than before. Returning to practical circumstances, if there were a channel of…” Dec 10, 20:12
Geoff Anderson on Spoiler Alert: “Times Sandie Peggie case Stu given credit Archived https://archive.is/SK4Cv” Dec 10, 19:56
Craig on Spoiler Alert: “https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c75v1d6npr1o Not in the habit of posting a BBC website link but Baroness Falkner is saying exactly what Rev said…” Dec 10, 19:42
Aidan on Spoiler Alert: “Quite 100% Yes, it might be different if Liberate were a genuine challenger to the SNP, but 6 months out…” Dec 10, 19:14
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “I really think it goes way beyond that now, Marie. Some are openly hostile to women’s rights and biased towards…” Dec 10, 18:45
agentx on Spoiler Alert: “On BBC Reporting Scotland tonight – Robin Moira White (“I was the first barrister to transition from male to female…” Dec 10, 18:44
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “Lord Hodge, soon to retire, is a Scottish judge in the Supreme Court, James, and the For Women Scotland case…” Dec 10, 18:42
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “So explain to us all how voting for liberate Scotland and the SNP remaining in power benefit Scotland and how…” Dec 10, 18:29
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “Bilbo, interference by the state in the legal system is totally against all democratic principles. Separation of state and judiciary…” Dec 10, 18:28
Alf Baird on Spoiler Alert: “In colonial societies the co-opted dominant national party: “helps the government to hold the people down. It becomes more and…” Dec 10, 18:25
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Spoiler Alert: “WHAT’S GOING ON? “At great turning-points of world-history the relativity of our traditional measures and opinions manifests itself in a…” Dec 10, 18:24
Hatey McHateface on Spoiler Alert: “Naw, you’ve got that wrong. It was an episode of “Rumpole Of The Bailey” wot dun it.” Dec 10, 18:16
Lorncal on Spoiler Alert: “James, I would dearly love to to see an independent Scotland but just look across the water to Ireland to…” Dec 10, 18:16
Hatey McHateface on Spoiler Alert: “Good one, TH, but a smidge verbose. I asked Grok to summarise: “Vote SNP one and two for another 5…” Dec 10, 18:13
Geoff Anderson on Spoiler Alert: “Dr. Upton. The credible witness https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cpqnq3gpe0vo” Dec 10, 18:05
100%Yes on Spoiler Alert: “Liberate Scotland, was a great idea if all Indy party’s got involved but they ain’t. Liberate Scotland constant call for…” Dec 10, 18:02
Hatey McHateface on The Valley Of The Dolls: “Poor old Bilbo. Congenitally unable to comprehend that working class and Tory voting have never been and never will be…” Dec 10, 18:01
Colin Dawson on Spoiler Alert: “Let’s not forget that Fife Health Board (and countless other public and private bodies) were following allegedly unlawful instructions issued…” Dec 10, 17:26
Marie on Spoiler Alert: “If judges can ignore the law why can’t Joe Public?” Dec 10, 17:23
Marie on Spoiler Alert: “Yep. The rule of law – who cares for that?? Not Scotland’s judges.” Dec 10, 17:20
Ex President Xiden on Spoiler Alert: “We are ruled by an elite class of jackasses.” Dec 10, 17:15