We’re being somewhat generous with the numbering here, to be honest, but you’ve got to start the official count somewhere, right?
Alert readers will recall that current Scottish Labour policy is to enshrine in law the right to a free bus pass for all Scots over the age of 60:
This time last year, for example, their transport spokesman Colin Smyth specifically and indignantly condemned any possible suggestion by the dastardly SNP of perhaps increasing the qualifying age from 60 to state pension age (currently 65 and due to rise to 68 and beyond), saying:
“Sadly, the scheme is now under threat with SNP ministers refusing the rule out increasing the age citizens can qualify for a pass in a bid to try and save money. Ordinary people in their 60s should not be paying the price of Tory austerity because the SNP refuse to use the powers of the parliament to fund our services properly.”
So we can safely assume that in Wales, where Labour have been in power for all 20 years of the devolved Assembly, all those things will already be happening, because otherwise it’d just be embarrassing.
At the very least, we can be certain that there’s no chance of the qualifying age going up from 60 to state pension age, because we already know that Labour regard that as a scandalous and unthinkable moral outrage.
We’re pretty sure we can’t be alone in being a little perturbed by this paragraph from a story in today’s Times.
It’s public knowledge that Davidson worked for BBC Scotland before becoming a Tory MSP, but we don’t think it’s ever been revealed that she was also working as a lackey, chaffeur and seamstress for a politician.
(Presumably in her spare time, but honestly who knows?)
BBC staff – especially those working in news departments – are supposed to be impeccably politically impartial, including outside of work hours, for extremely obvious reasons. We can’t help but wonder whether there are any current BBC Scotland news broadcasters running around the country fiddling with the flies of Conservative MPs while they’re on party-political business.
Is Glenn Campbell making tea for Ross Thomson? Does Isabel Fraser polish Alister Jack’s shoes on speaking engagements? Does Andrew Kerr have to keep Bill Grant’s sash and apron nicely ironed? Is it Gordon Brewer’s job to brush Kirstene Hair’s hair or remind her to breathe in and out?
After it became the most-watched episode in the show’s history, the producers of The Alex Salmond Show made a double-length “Director’s Cut” of our recent interview, which you can watch below if you should feel so inclined.
In news that will come as a shock to absolutely no readers at all, McDougall wasn’t just lying, and wasn’t just wrong about one thing, but was both wrong and lying about pretty much everything he said.
Both of the Yes camp’s “scare stories” which were sneeringly mocked by McDougall during a BBC debate in Inverness actually came true – the Tories DID win the next election, and Johnson DID end up as leader of the party and then as Prime Minister.
(McDougall burst into tears at Scottish Labour HQ on the night of the 2015 election as his party lost 40 of its 41 seats despite his services as Jim Murphy’s speechwriter and adviser, his powers of chortling seemingly having deserted him.)
Still, at least the Record hasn’t been so completely lacking in self-awareness as to point a finger at others in Scotland and say something like “far too many people who should know better are complicit in the tragedy”.
We weren’t sure whether tomorrow’s Cairnstoon was going to be delayed by technical gremlins (it turns out it isn’t), so we prepared an emergency backup plan on the same theme and you may as well see it now as a sort of trailer.
It’ll be good every time they dig him up yet again in the future too.
From today’s lurid Scottish Daily Mail cover splash about a “£1 BILLION TAX BLACK HOLE” appearing in the Scottish budget “despite [imaginary] Nationalist tax hikes”:
Last night, grudgingly, we watched the whole of the final Tory leadership debate, for a contest in which pretty much everyone believes Boris Johnson has already gathered enough votes to comfortably win even though there are several days of voting to go.
The headline outcome the media appears to be focusing on is that both candidates proclaimed the Irish backstop “dead”, to which the EU’s response will without a doubt be “Is it, aye?”
So where does that leave us? Let’s have an update.
Galaxy Wars, released by Universal in 1979, is one of the first wave of "proper" arcade videogames (defined here as coded on ROM chips rather than being semi-mechanical or solid-state like Pong).
Running on a hacked Space Invaders board (as most of the first wave did), it actually bears a lot of similarities to Taito's 1978 blockbuster. It's got UFOs running across the top of the screen, above a field of asteroids which move one way across the screen, then drop down a level when they reach the edge and start moving back across in the opposite direction.
The screen was a monochrome reflector – sometimes supplemented by sheets of coloured cellophane to mimic a colour display – and all the sound effects are ripped straight from Invaders.
It was a pretty dull game, and other than an inexplicable Japan-only SNES port in 1995 (which seems to have been the only ever licenced home version on any format) it made very little impact on posterity.
Until this week, when it suddenly threatened to become mildly interesting.
Cynicus on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The Offord Joke: Hats off to The National for publishing it. Old hat. I’d heard a version of it decades…” Mar 27, 02:01
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Labour on track to lose 2000 Councillors in this coming May’s election, now this will cause Sir Starmer to resign…” Mar 26, 23:11
Del G on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Your Party had not so much a faint hope as no hope of impacting the Scottish election: formed far too…” Mar 26, 22:46
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““John Swinney has said it is “not a coincidence” that the UK Government announced its decision to block a Chinese-backed…” Mar 26, 22:41
Del G on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Your Party had not so much a faint hope as no hope of impacting the Scottish election: formed far too…” Mar 26, 22:39
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I wouldn’t feel safe visiting Holyrood. Imagine if you were a tourist stumbling intae the gayest gaff in all of…” Mar 26, 20:22
Mark Beggan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Couldn’t have said it better myself. Totally agree. I have never been to prison but I believe the first question…” Mar 26, 20:15
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “He’s a nasty piece of work. That was him behind the astro turfing fake no borders campaign during indyref. Caught…” Mar 26, 20:00
Frank Gillougley on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Dan, 1kW Electricity for 8p 1 m3 of gas is 23p 1 litre of diesel is 135p in Hungary the…” Mar 26, 19:56
Confused on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “wonder if jordan the bummer will be taking excessively long showers in addiewell, dropping the soap repeatedly and asking if…” Mar 26, 19:39
Dan on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Hi Frank, any idea how much regular diesel is out where you are? I had to do a double take…” Mar 26, 19:34
George Ferguson on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Day 1 of the election and I am already thinking about a complaint to Ofcom and the Electoral Commission. An…” Mar 26, 19:34
agentx on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““Former SNP politician sexually assaulted five young men and boys Jordan Linden, 30, is the former leader of North Lanarkshire…” Mar 26, 19:22
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “It says the crappiest newspaper in Scotland “Outgoing MSPs who made tough decisions on our behalf deserve thanks” I say…” Mar 26, 19:11
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Would you look at that. Just in time for LA28 Olympic games. The yanks certainly wouldn’t want every Tik Toker…” Mar 26, 19:06
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Sounds like Swinney has already excepted defeat. How long can the SNP cry wolf before the public say no more.” Mar 26, 18:44
Sven on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Young Lochinvar @ 18.04. “Rum, Buggery & the Lash”, sounds like a good election slogan for a Trans Political Party.…” Mar 26, 18:38
Frank Gillougley on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I am thinking, dangerous I know, but something better change… so here’s my tuppenth worth on the current surreal absurdity…” Mar 26, 18:35
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The daily rainbow comic the National actually printed Offord’s joke yesterday but only so that they could give a screaming…” Mar 26, 18:18
George Ferguson on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Classic STV coverage. Don’t mention Jordan Lindon was SNP. But foam at the mouth at a 2018 comment made at…” Mar 26, 18:16
100%Yes on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “The neverendum, I remember Mr Pete Wishart saying in 2019 through the Rag newspaper that claims to support Independence, we…” Mar 26, 18:11
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “A hoy there me hearties! Jolly Rogers aloft as HMS Raleigh and HMS Drake reprise the English Elizabethan role of…” Mar 26, 18:04
Sven on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I wonder what type of Egregore a collective of would be Picts would bring into being. I sometimes feel that…” Mar 26, 18:02
Young Lochinvar on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Cards on the table, I don’t really fully understand the science behind the proposed tests but the main thing is…” Mar 26, 17:54
Geri on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “I suggest you go Google public opinion polling figures on the illegal invasion of Iran. Then the polling on jenny.…” Mar 26, 17:35
Red on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Sven I do support officially renaming Glasgow to “Funky Town” Unfortunately, Susan Aitken ate Funky Town” Mar 26, 15:52
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: “Totally agree, the Scots suck… the Picts, however, were a class act, and their descendants (myself included) are carrying on…” Mar 26, 15:31
Northcode on Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off: ““Maybe Alba ?” Absolutely no way – Alba is a Scotti Gaelic word meaning ‘bright’ or some shit… from the…” Mar 26, 15:20