At the climax of a popular and multiple-Oscar-winning movie from 1995, the Scottish leader William Wallace is portrayed heroically roaring the word “FREEDOM!”
The most tedious question we ever get asked when we criticise the SNP – because we’ve explained it a hundred times already and none of the people asking have ever bothered to look – is “But what would YOU do to secure independence, clever-clogs?”
We’ve outlined that plan in detail repeatedly – you can read it again here if you want. But maybe we need something a bit simpler for the hard of thinking, so let’s have a go.
We just noticed a finding from the most recent opinion poll that surprisingly seems to have escaped the attention of every Scottish newspaper except the Press & Journal.
As far as we can ascertain, the P&J was alone in reporting the obviously newsworthy fact that just a quarter of Scots believe the First Minister’s ridiculous cock-and-bull story about “forgetting” the occasion when she first heard that her friend, colleague and mentor of 30 years was facing charges of trying to rape some of her other friends.
But the figures are part of a wider and depressing trend.
We’ve just received the most extraordinary Freedom Of Information response from the Scottish Government, readers. Trust us, you want to go and make yourselves a strong cup of tea before you read it. Or get this guy to bring you one.
It doesn’t take a master analyst to see that the Salmond inquiry committee is running out of patience with the Scottish Government’s endless attempts to obstruct its work.
This afternoon it issued a statement, with obvious irritation, making clear that it did not wish to see documents the Scottish Government was trying to submit to it, which the committee had not asked for, and which had previously been struck down as unlawful by Lord Pentland in the initial judicial inquiry.
The Scottish Government’s only purpose in doing so was to try to put the details of the discredited and disproven-in-court allegations into the public domain with the intention of smearing Mr Salmond yet again, and the committee has made its displeasure with the plan clear, telling the Scottish Government to abandon its intended legal action to release the documents and get on with producing the ones the inquiry HAS asked for.
But there’s a little bit more to the story than that.
We’re grumpy this morning, readers, because it’s Sunday and we were planning a long lie and then someone told us about this. It’s the First Minister appearing on the Sophy Ridge show on Sky News at around 8.45am and you need to see it.
In the light of yesterday’s revelations, we’ve sent the following Freedom Of Information request to the Central Enquiry Unit (CEU) of the Scottish Government.
Back in the 1980s there was a hit game for the ZX Spectrum home computer called Worse Things Happen At Sea. In it you play a robot whose job is to get a heavily-laden cargo ship safely to port, except that more and more disasters keep befalling it.
It springs leaks, it veers off course, the engine overheats and the robot’s power runs down, until eventually the catalogue of catastrophes overwhelms the harassed metallic custodian and the boat slides down into the murky depths.
We wonder if that feels familiar to anyone at the moment.
Iain More on Irony you can’t buy: “She churns my stomach like all Quislings do. The damage she has done to Scotland should bring charges of Treason…” Mar 20, 19:18
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “I always liked Joanna. She’d have been a good FM. If she’d challenged Sturgeons leadership she’d have won it hands…” Mar 20, 19:15
Scot Finlayson on Irony you can’t buy: “`All political lives, unless they are cut off in midstream at a happy juncture, end in failure, because that is…” Mar 20, 18:52
TimePilot on Irony you can’t buy: “Oh, to see ourselves as others see us Nicola. If only Mr Salmond was still alive to recite this in…” Mar 20, 18:49
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “To add to the litany of comments already made I would add Branchform, sneaky Pete dropped like a hot potato…” Mar 20, 18:37
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Aidan Largest “ferry” port. Doesn’t the use of “ferries” in and out of a quarantined area strike you as rather…” Mar 20, 18:11
ScottieDog on Irony you can’t buy: “And a tidy pension. Wondering if she’ll become baroness sturgeon one day, sitting next to lord Blackford of humblecroft and…” Mar 20, 17:59
christine on Irony you can’t buy: “Failed lawyer Sturgeon peddled and condoned the genital mutilation of our children. She sanctioned the abuse, torment, degradation and trauma…” Mar 20, 17:49
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Ex-SNP MP Joanna Cherry: “It is easy to make a promise. Much harder to keep it. Sturgeon governed by press…” Mar 20, 17:01
Onlooker on Irony you can’t buy: “Is there any way to sue her to get the money back she claimed as an MSP, whilst not turning…” Mar 20, 16:54
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “Well put. I agree 100% and more.” Mar 20, 16:18
Lorncal on Irony you can’t buy: “As a woman myself, I cannot get around the fact that both Thatcher and Sturgeon respectively and individually destroyed the…” Mar 20, 16:16
Jon Drummond on Irony you can’t buy: “The nastiest, most self-centred, little b1tch in Scottish history. A fucking disgrace to the whole nation. Burning in Hell would…” Mar 20, 16:15
Willie on Irony you can’t buy: “Her time I am sure will come. Her dark deeds will come back to haunt her. In the meantime she…” Mar 20, 16:15
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Geri @ 13.00. If only she were going to disappear back into obscurity, Geri. I’ve no doubt she and what…” Mar 20, 15:30
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: ““Ye who suffer woes untold, Or to feel, or to behold Your lost country bought and sold With a price…” Mar 20, 15:13
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Yup! I feel exactly the same. I reach for the remote. I don’t want to even listen to her. Hopefully…” Mar 20, 14:43
Ronnie on Irony you can’t buy: “Don’t know about the rest of yies, but I cannot even watch her now. I thought I would never hate…” Mar 20, 14:25
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “David you say, What’s her legacy? Alex Salmond down fall and his untimely death I feel sure. She tried and…” Mar 20, 14:23
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “I feel sure we’ll see her on election night pointing out how good John the moron has been. Hasn’t reform…” Mar 20, 14:15
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Please correct me if I’m wrong but did she say it was a honor to a MSP for all these…” Mar 20, 14:06
David on Irony you can’t buy: “What’s her legacy? I was ever only in the SNP to gain independence. She was deputy during the referendum. How…” Mar 20, 14:02
Alex stewart on Irony you can’t buy: “Never mind, Swinney is doing his best to be her identical replacement” Mar 20, 14:01
James on Looking up at the stars: “Aye, nothing to do with the oil eh? Mind living in a cave probably makes you a bit thick. Back…” Mar 20, 13:53
Captain Caveman on Looking up at the stars: ““That stands for nothing. We’ve paid Scots that love to go on telly to bash Scotland too. It happens everywhere.…” Mar 20, 13:51
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “J Robertson @ 12.47. “don’t forget to think for yourself”, I believe she actually intended to say, “don’t forget to…” Mar 20, 13:46
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “The Port of Dover is the largest ferry port in the world if measured by traffic” Mar 20, 13:10
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Good riddance to a treacherous cow. Stepping down cause she knows she’d have the walk of shame otherwise. Back to…” Mar 20, 13:00
