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A sudden change of fortune 88

Posted on February 10, 2015 by

The Telegraph, 13 September 2014:

Scotland heading for a ‘Great Depression’ after a Yes vote

A study by Deutsche Bank said a Yes vote for Scottish independence would ‘go down in history as a political and economic mistake’ on a par with Winston Churchill’s decision in 1925 to return the pound to the Gold Standard or the failures by the Federal Reserve in America that triggered the Great Depression in the 1930s.

It warned that Scotland risked a similar depression if voters backed the Yes campaign on Thursday, and described the desire for independence as an ‘incomprehensible’ one which could have negative consequences ‘far beyond’ what people had imagined.

Gordon Brown said the Deutsche Bank report showed that Scotland was ‘in danger of falling through an economic trapdoor’.”

We can only assume something pretty amazing must have happened since then.

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Questions To Which The Answer Is No 97

Posted on February 09, 2015 by

We know we were all traumatised at the time, but how on Earth did we miss this?

rogiepoll

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A thousand miles of stupid 233

Posted on February 04, 2015 by

Even we can’t quite believe this one, readers.

Good grief, where do we even start?

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An unsettling development 110

Posted on January 30, 2015 by

Since we’ve been talking about mad letters from Scottish Labour MPs today, we’re sharing this one with you too. We’ve been trying to make sense of it all evening.

darlingletter

We haven’t made any progress. It’s not just a simple accidental transposition of words, because if you switch “increased” and “decreased” around it’s still gibberish – why would the threat have decreased because of proliferation? If anyone can explain it, do drop us a line.

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A couple of hours off 170

Posted on January 30, 2015 by

Because there’s really no satire we can add to this magnificent zoomery:

mccann

So we might as well pop out to the shops for a bit.

Every land an island 210

Posted on January 14, 2015 by

An alert reader pointed us today to this audio clip of Jim Murphy. It’s not tagged, but we THINK it’s from a Radio Clyde interview about three weeks ago which oddly didn’t seem to get picked up at the time by anyone in the media.

It’s an interesting viewpoint.

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The succulent bams 249

Posted on January 13, 2015 by

Jim Murphy didn’t turn up at Westminster today to vote with the Tories for £30bn of austerity cuts, like 28 of his Scottish Labour colleagues did. That’s because he was taking some Scottish journalists to lunch to explain an important thing to them.

murphynot

We’ve been sat staring at a blank paragraph for the last 10 minutes trying to think of something satirical to say. We’ve got nothing, readers.

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Reaching out to Yes 126

Posted on January 09, 2015 by

Alert readers may recall that since the election of Jim Murphy as Scottish Labour branch office manager he’s barely gone a moment without promising to “reach out” to Yes voters. Last month he even pledged that he’d employ some in his team if he won the Labour job.

murphyreach

We imagine they’ll be fair hammering on his door after the latest addition to his crew, because today’s Herald reveals that Murphy’s new chief of staff, and joining “Better Together” director Blair McDougall among Jim’s backroom boys, is to be our old pal John “there will be no referendum” McTernan.

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A minor detail 192

Posted on January 05, 2015 by

From today’s Telegraph:

telegraphsturgeon

Actual number of children belonging to Nicola Sturgeon and Peter Murrell: 0.

You literally can’t make this stuff up.

One thousand louder 142

Posted on January 05, 2015 by

We had to extend our festive semi-break for a day to deal with some administrative matters, readers, but it’s just as well, because the thing that happened today would have defied our best attempts at either analysis or satire.

1000louder

That’s a real thing we didn’t make up. Saints preserve us.

Diversification strategy 137

Posted on December 26, 2014 by

Wait, what?

scottories1

We know there’s a lot of talk of the other Unionist parties stepping aside in order to give Scottish Labour a clear run in 2015, in a desperate attempt to stop the SNP from picking up too many seats, but this is surely taking it a bit far.

Granny’s at the gin again 220

Posted on December 24, 2014 by

We missed this on Sunday, because it was 17 minutes into on the short-lived and unlamented “Crossfire” (now binned for a Sunday edition of “Good Morning Scotland”) and therefore pretty much everyone in Scotland missed it. It’s former Labour minister Helen Liddell, or as we should properly address her, Baroness Liddell of Coatdyke.

[audio http://worldofstuart.excellentcontent.com/liddell-crossfire-21dec2014.mp3 ]

We’ve spared you her subsequent painful bleating about a general election 35 years ago that she doesn’t seem to have quite gotten over, but we couldn’t help raising an eyebrow at her curious assessment of the referendum result, which we suspect fellow guest Andrew “Lallands Peat Worrier” Tickell was simply too stunned to react to.

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