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The Dishface Tapes 147

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Watch (from 5m 50s) as David Cameron refuses to commit to having a bill for more powers for Holyrood in the first Queen’s Speech should he win the 2015 election.

Vote no, get nothing, and get it never.

The unionist case for independence 149

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

The unionist case for Scots voting No in the independence referendum is encapsulated in the following quote from the website of “Better Together”, the official No campaign:

“Devolution offers us the best of both worlds: we have a strong Scottish Parliament taking important decisions about schools, hospitals and jobs AND we benefit from the strength, security and opportunities we can take advantage of being part of a bigger United Kingdom.”

The main problem with this argument is that there’s an alternative Union which would provide the Scottish Parliament with more powers to “take important decisions about” things and allow Scotland to “benefit from” and “take advantage of’” the “strength, security and opportunities” of being part of something far bigger than the UK itself.

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Automatic pilot 74

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Judging by the latest leak from our “Better Together” mole, we’re not sure anyone’s actually driving the No campaign any more. It seems to be set on an infinite loop.

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The pounds in your pockets 108

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Several of today’s papers run with the story that in giving evidence to the Scottish Affairs Select Committee in Westminster, George Osborne yesterday made the claim that Scots could run out of cash under independence, as Scottish banks would no longer be able to print their own pound notes guaranteed by the Bank of England.

RBS banknotes

Osborne’s argument is that Scottish notes are accepted as currency in the UK under the Banknote (Scotland) Act of 1845. However, this legislation would no longer apply after independence without a currency union, thereby making Scots notes worthless.

In what was an oddly nervous and evasive performance before the Committee – despite its extremely friendly questioning – it was one of the Chancellor’s stranger assertions.

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The invisible army 154

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

We’ve been wiping tears of laughter from our eyes most of this morning, after reading one of the most magnificently bare-faced and audacious pieces of black-is-white lying we think we might ever have seen printed with a straight face in a British newspaper.

It appears in the Telegraph, which seems to have positioned itself latterly as the Daily Sport for people with a reading age above seven, and makes the mindboggling claim that “Contrary to its media image, the campaign to save the United Kingdom says it has more boots on the ground than its nationalist opponents”.

boots

In fairness, it doesn’t actually say whether these boots have any feet in them.

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Apocalypse worsens 131

Posted on May 15, 2014 by

Monday:

“On the basis of independent analysis, the UK Government has estimated that an average annual mortgage payment in Scotland could increase by £1,700.”

(UK government “factsheet” issued by the Scotland Office.)

Wednesday:

“For the average mortgage in Scotland, there would be £5,400 more [in] mortgage payments a year.”

(George Osborne to the Scottish Affairs Select Committee.)

Yikes! What the hell happened on Tuesday?

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The dangers of the kneejerk 162

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

We’re so used to reading doom-and-gloom predictions about the apocalyptic future that would await an independent Scotland, readers, that to our shame we occasionally fall foul of a trap we never stop warning you about – reading the headline of a story and not paying attention to the words below.

eenystannit

The one above is a case in point.

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Quoted for LOLs 65

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

Mark Wallace in Conservative Home, 14 May 2014:

“Darling might not have been the most dynamic campaigner in the world, but at least he isn’t a complete and utter Jonah. Replacing him with Alexander is the equivalent of replacing your single-bar heater with a bonfire in your lounge because you weren’t warm enough, substituting your Morris Minor with a North Korean missile in the hope of getting to work faster or deciding to shave with a lawnmower because your disposable Bic was a bit blunt.“

Because it actually did make us laugh.

Grassroots concreted over 153

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

Well, that was odd. No sooner had we posted a rather lightweight little piece this morning, revealing that the fake-grassroots “Vote No Borders” campaign had been in development since June 2012, than the story got a whole lot more interesting.

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A long time in the making 78

Posted on May 14, 2014 by

The fact that the millionaire-backed fake-grassroots “Vote No Borders” group arrived on the referendum scene with so little warning got a bit stranger yesterday with the news that the “unpolished voters” campaign has been gestating for almost two years.

acanchi2

Alert readers will recall that Acanchi is the London PR company run by Malcolm Offord and Fiona Gilmore, the directors of VNB. And it seems they’ve been busy.

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FOR COMMON SENSE 279

Posted on May 13, 2014 by

Because some of you won’t have seen it yet. This is NOT a spoof.

jean

That’s what they think will persuade people to vote No, readers.

Yet another warning from history 87

Posted on May 13, 2014 by

The Scotsman, 24 March 2007:

“Brown: I will save the union

Gordon Brown last night revealed he was placing himself at the heart of Labour’s Holyrood election campaign, declaring it was his ‘duty’ to save the Union from the SNP.

In an exclusive interview with Scotland on Sunday, Brown pledged to spend the six weeks before polling day ‘explaining and exposing’ the Nationalists’ ‘disastrous’ plans.

The Chancellor ruled out any plans to give more power to the Scottish Parliament saying it was not necessary.”

How (some) things change, eh readers?

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