The proceedings at the Supreme Court this week were a tough follow even if you could get the court’s abominably bad livestream to work. They’re all archived here now, but non-lawyers will probably glaze over quickly during the nine hours of intense legalese.
We’re not allowed to clip up any illustrative sections, on pain of possible contempt of court, so perhaps the best way to explain the key parts of what happened in a vaguely comprehensible way is by showing you some commentary from social media.
Many expert observers have already noted that the document flatly contradicts the Scottish Government’s previous repeated and strenuous assertions that a Gender Recognition Certificate confers “no new rights” on trans people, and have published extremely detailed assessments which are frankly all but impenetrable to non-lawyers but basically conclude that the Scottish Government’s position is a mess.
Our favourite line, however, is this one.
So if you’re obliged to have a 50/50 sex balance in your boardroom, you can do it by hiring a man with a GRC saying he’s legally female, or by hiring a woman.
We believe that the young folk nowadays call that a “self-own”.
As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “George Aye.. But.. Hardly compares with Westminster and Buckingham Palace ongoing costs really though eh..” May 1, 23:06
George Ferguson on Seven Days Too Long: “@Hatey McHateface The original Scottish Parliament building cost £414 million. Well over budget I grant you that. My estimate of…” May 1, 22:53
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “@Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh Two posters referencing Hemingway in the same day. What are the chances, eh? I’m not issuing a direct…” May 1, 22:45
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: ““SCOTLAND does not need more WASPS on mobility scooters.” LOL! Sad but true. It wouldn’t be so bad if they…” May 1, 22:42
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “How about Raynor? Is Raynor bleating about it? Or perhaps growling? There’s a part of me that desperately wants Prime…” May 1, 22:27
robertkknight on Seven Days Too Long: “I’ll no doubt find someone palatable on the Regional paper, but my constituency paper will be defaced by a black…” May 1, 22:23
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “Once the designs are finalised, we Scots should submit a FOI request to find out how many of the public…” May 1, 22:18
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““Aren’t Christians supposed to be charitable & believe in rehabilitation” They defo don’t believe in the gas chambers for those…” May 1, 22:11
George Ferguson on Seven Days Too Long: “I looked at standing as an Indendepence Candidate I informed this blog after research it was implausible that any Candidate…” May 1, 22:07
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “Reminds me of the joke about how the oldest profession could never work in certain parts of Scotland because the…” May 1, 22:04
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “@Alf There’s some kind of eejit above pretending to be you.” May 1, 21:58
Iain More on Seven Days Too Long: “I am curious – Does the English NAZI Reform Party in Wales have a leader who also has 6 houses,…” May 1, 21:55
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “I dunno, redacting documents, hiding evidence, committing perjury & trying to jail an innocent man seems pretty criminal to me…” May 1, 21:54
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “I remember Du*dale promoting this openly on Twitter after indyref. Be paid to troll. Also the paid activists to ‘bus…” May 1, 21:36
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Thanks for the links! I’ll catch up.” May 1, 21:22
George Ferguson on Seven Days Too Long: “@Geri 8:41pm I didn’t get the privilege of a reply button. I don’t want convicted criminals in charge of the…” May 1, 21:13
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: ““Remind us again. Just how many third-world immigrants does the current Scottish Government think we need to drag us kicking…” May 1, 21:12
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Seven Days Too Long: “Can’t quite remember where I got this: « DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THESE SKILLS? (Jan 2017) « 77 Brigade,…” May 1, 21:10
Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “If you despise “leftist” politics so much then why the desire to spoil your ballot paper, as there are still…” May 1, 20:48
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Because yoons vote for them. True story. “They like their policies & they can still vote no in a ref”…” May 1, 20:47
Geri on Seven Days Too Long: “Whatever happened to doing his time & moving on? Aren’t Christians supposed to be charitable & believe in rehabilitation, George?…” May 1, 20:41
George Ferguson on Seven Days Too Long: “@JCD Agreed Tommy Sheridan is a good speaker as long as the audience can’t answer back. A bunch of old…” May 1, 20:10
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: “I’m truly astonished that you know so little about Scotland and the Scots that you would believe 83% of Scots…” May 1, 20:09
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““sharpie in large letters across the ballot “end the Union”” Good God! Does it really fall to me to have…” May 1, 19:57
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““You might want to remember” You might want to address the arguments presented. In case it’s you that can’t remember:…” May 1, 19:47
JCD on Seven Days Too Long: “Ok End The Union it is. The reason I’m unsure about voting ATLS is that left wing organizations in particular…” May 1, 19:42
Hatey McHateface on Seven Days Too Long: ““SCOTLAND does not need more WASPS on mobility scooters” Maybe you should visit Scotland, TURABDIN. For every WASP on a…” May 1, 19:38
Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: “You might want to remember that “the current Scottish Government” is merely a colonial administration, and what that usually means…” May 1, 19:25
100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “Tangerines are marching again in Aberdeen after a spell off. For god sake who are these brainless morons.” May 1, 19:07
TURABDIN on Seven Days Too Long: “That picture speaks volumes… SNP…young, vibrant & relevant, the sexiest choice in politics.” May 1, 18:59