Today’s Daily Record has a swipe at Jeremy Corbyn for, well, let’s call them “mixed messages” over a second independence referendum. It suggests his Scottish branch manager Kezia Dugdale would have “her head in her hands” over his latest comments, which is a bit rich considering Dugdale’s own history on the subject.
And since her headline boast when she took over as leader of the North British office was that people would know exactly what Labour stood for (and indeed she spent all of the weekend’s keynote Sunday Politics interview listing all the things she’d been very very clear about), we thought we’d have a recap and see how that was going.
Tremendous news for the rest of Scotland’s football clubs as Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers promises never to win the treble unbeaten again, even if his side score more goals than the other team in all their matches.
…is roughly how often Aberdeen get to the final of the Scottish Cup these days. The last time was 17 years ago – a tournament which started in the last century and ended the year Rangers started paying their players with EBTs – when SFA rules meant that they had to play almost the entire game without a recognised goalkeeper.
(A tackle in the third minute broke veteran custodian Jim Leighton’s jaw, and because you were only allowed three players on the subs bench the Dons had no backup No.1 and had to put striker Robbie Winters between the sticks, with a predictable outcome. Leighton never played professional football again.)
In politics, Labour were only one year into the first ever administration of the modern Scottish Parliament, and still in the first term of Tony Blair’s rule at Westminster. The idea of the SNP winning an election, let alone holding an independence referendum, was the preserve of mad fantasists.
And the last time the Pittodrie side actually won the trophy was 27 years back, which is so long ago that most of Hampden was still open to the elements.
Still, it would be weird if we got to the final again next year and some of the Aberdeen support refused to go on the grounds that the matter of who was the best cup football team in Scotland had been settled forever today.
Or if Celtic won but had fielded an ineligible player and the SFA ordered a replay, but the Dons declined to take part because they’d played too many finals recently.
We hadn’t been planning to talk any more about the curious case of Claire Austin, the suddenly publicity-shy Edinburgh nurse who – how can we put this? – seemed a rather ill-chosen figurehead for the good cause of getting more pay for a group of people who are rightly well-regarded by the public.
But yesterday, the release of a letter from Scottish Labour branch manager Kezia Dugdale re-opened political hostilities after last week’s hiatus for the Manchester terror attack by shoving the now-reticent Ms Austin right back into the spotlight.
Politics is still on hiatus after the dreadful events of Manchester, so we’ve taken the chance to go and enjoy the sudden summer weather while nothing was happening.
And today, as we (“Drove at a legal speed” – Ed) across the pretty hills overlooking Bath in an inexpensive convertible, a song came on the stereo that made us think of all the Unionist trolls who were still busily raging on Twitter – mainly about the SNP’s awful failure to light up every building in Scotland with the Union Jack in tribute to the dead (no, really), but also at the most recent data “proving” that independence would mean the country regressing to the Stone Age and whatnot.
So we thought we’d share it with you, because as well as having a jaunty tune it’s got a good attitude to adopt when they’re screaming and yelling themselves red, white and blue in the face about something or other, rather than wasting your time and mental equilibrium on being dragged into their fetid mind-swamp.
It works on any day, even if you’re not in a sports car.
The spanking new issue of Viz, which is totally still a thing, is out today at all good newsagents. The cover promises a “FANTASTIC FREE VOTING AID” inside, and we thought you’d be at least mildly and fleetingly amused by the Scottish aspect. Of it.
Pop out to the shops and buy a Viz*, readers. (Or subscribe to try three issues for a mere £1.) It’s just as funny as it used to be but much less popular, so it’s cool again.
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*Wings Over Scotland has no connection to Viz or Dennis Publishing Ltd and has received no inducement for this endorsement. Although we’re open to offers.
(NB The media is understandably mostly occupied today with the horrific events in Manchester. But life goes on – music websites are still talking about music, football websites are still talking about football, videogames websites are still talking about videogames. Any rational observations about terrorism made here would be screamed down as making political capital from tragedy. So let’s get on with the day job.)
If you apply to go on a televised political debate and then submit a question to ask a national leader, it seems a reasonable deduction that you want that issue to be raised and discussed. If you also make it personal by describing your own circumstances, it seems logical that you’d want those circumstances to be widely publicised, and to be asked about them so you could say more and tell your story to the country.
So it’s a bit odd that Edinburgh nurse Claire Austin has suddenly gone off the radar.
We’re not going to join in the attacks on a nurse who criticised Nicola Sturgeon during last night’s BBC election debate. While her lifestyle seems at a glance to be wildly at odds with her claim that she relied on foodbanks to survive, there are – genuinely – possible explanations for at least most of it.
Owning a convertible car isn’t proof that someone’s wealthy – I have one myself that’s worth less than £1000, and I also have a relative who has very little money but who nevertheless owns a horse just like Claire Austin’s daughter seemingly does. (It’s also possible to be quite poor but still own things you bought when you were less poor.)
It ill befits Yes supporters – who are happy to deploy the existence and growing use of foodbanks to justifiably attack the UK government – to complain if someone who calls the First Minister “wee Jimmy Krankie” adopts the same tactic. More to the point, we entirely agree with Ms Austin’s core view that nurses should be paid more in general, as we suspect most people do.
(And in Scotland, of course, they ARE paid more than in the rest of the UK, and under the SNP have always been given the full pay rises recommended by the independent pay board, which hasn’t been the case in England.)
But that still leaves some things hanging disquietingly in the air.
Following the striking success of their tactical voting campaign at the general election of 2015, the Unionist parties are keen to repeat the strategy this year, and have once again deployed THE WHEEL.
There’s only one problem. They can’t quite agree on the colours of the spokes.
Confused on The Nobodies: “ottomannish-boy that’s a sloppy post and with very weak arguments re: islamic culture/science – you admit you took from earlier…” Aug 2, 23:30
Davy on The Deaf Eyes: “Look – just because the SNP government’s legal advisors (and Nicola Sturgeon appointees), Lord Advocate Dorothy Bain (SNP cabinet member)…” Aug 2, 22:47
Run the Border on The Deaf Eyes: “Written is not what is needed. People to demand better would do. Learned Hand. A US justice said that liberty…” Aug 2, 22:04
Young Lochinvar on The Deaf Eyes: “On a lighter note, to my great amusement I received a spam email circular looking into and seeking claimants for…” Aug 2, 21:20
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Right, so before much was known about it and no-one was reporting accurate numbers because they were not known, and…” Aug 2, 20:44
TURABDIN on The Nobodies: “according to stats the majority of not scottish born imigrants are white many of them elderly English. personally, without a…” Aug 2, 19:48
Northcode on The Deaf Eyes: “You’re referring to a different case. The question here is whether a trust existed for the SNP ‘ring-fenced’ money. It…” Aug 2, 19:44
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Deaf Eyes: “On the contrary – in the case of embezzlement they absolutely do. That’s why Peter Murrell is currently in a…” Aug 2, 19:06
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “I agree, TURABDIN, it’s not all about what you say. It is all about the ongoing colonisation of my country.…” Aug 2, 18:48
Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Haud oan there, Alf. We’re still trying tae fathom fit yer “black skin, white masks” is aboot. Dae some o’…” Aug 2, 18:36
Northcode on The Deaf Eyes: “The COPFS is correct. The police found no evidence of either fraud or embezzlement in relation to ‘ring-fenced’ donations to…” Aug 2, 18:27
Chas on The Deaf Eyes: “It could be worse. At least I am not DaveL!” Aug 2, 18:24
Knuckle_Heid on The Deaf Eyes: “Jeeezzo – that response was fairly dripping in condescension. Thanks a lot for that COPFS, much appreciated. 8Ace himself could…” Aug 2, 18:01
Effijy on The Deaf Eyes: “Scarier and Scarier that what we have in place for justice cannot understand a simple question, need to consider how…” Aug 2, 17:01
Frank Gillougley on The Deaf Eyes: “Fuckin’ ‘ell Guv, that’s a belter. Well worthy of a Kafka award. Love the cartoon!” Aug 2, 16:53
Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Oh do be quiet with your “swear white is black” nonsense, lefty. That was the initial BBC headline. Deal with…” Aug 2, 16:39
Willie on The Deaf Eyes: “The response is simply a reflection of a gangster state with no functioning rule of law. The jackboot, the batton,…” Aug 2, 16:31
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Caveman, the BBC headline on 31 July was : ‘Spain’s PM blames traffickers after 60,000 migrants reach Ceuta from Morocco’.…” Aug 2, 16:24
DaveL on The Deaf Eyes: “FS! A token comment on the article above then straight into an attack on regular posters and small independence parties.…” Aug 2, 15:39
Southernbystander on The Nobodies: “Wally Jumblatt says: ‘And even worse, it gives the power to useless, bitter, uninspired people who don’t like each other.’…” Aug 2, 15:39
Roger Beaver on The Deaf Eyes: “Malfeasance/nonfeasance in public office? (https://duckduckgo.com/?q=malfeasance+in+public+office&t=ffab&ia=web)” Aug 2, 15:38
Patsy Millar on The Deaf Eyes: “Probably a bot. The give away is the lack of a surname and given a response I had to a…” Aug 2, 15:26
TURABDIN on The Deaf Eyes: “Burnham is making noises about a written constitution for the British state. He might take as a model that of…” Aug 2, 14:50
Sean Duffy on The Deaf Eyes: “Is there a mechanism available to the lieges to compel the COPFS and the Chief Constable to carry out their…” Aug 2, 13:59
I. Despair on The Deaf Eyes: “Yes. And in a short message that took 27 days to emerge and was no doubt reviewed by numerous people…” Aug 2, 13:07
agentx on The Deaf Eyes: “AI overview: You can take action against a decision made by the Procurator Fiscal If You Are the Victim (A…” Aug 2, 13:05
Sian Laidlaw on The Deaf Eyes: “It looks to me as though that reply has some copy, cut and paste text in it. Maybe the input…” Aug 2, 12:59
Cuphook on The Deaf Eyes: “In The Twelve Tasks of Asterix the Roman bureaucrats who hinder the attempt to get form A38 are eventually foiled…” Aug 2, 12:58
factchecker on The Deaf Eyes: “Stunning lack of understanding. Or more probably deliberate misunderstanding. And nothing to tell us “Veronica”s status within the “National Enquiry…” Aug 2, 12:53
agentx on The Deaf Eyes: ““Firstly, let’s take a moment to note the weird font change halfway through that central paragraph, as though someone else…” Aug 2, 12:49