Many expert observers have already noted that the document flatly contradicts the Scottish Government’s previous repeated and strenuous assertions that a Gender Recognition Certificate confers “no new rights” on trans people, and have published extremely detailed assessments which are frankly all but impenetrable to non-lawyers but basically conclude that the Scottish Government’s position is a mess.
Our favourite line, however, is this one.
So if you’re obliged to have a 50/50 sex balance in your boardroom, you can do it by hiring a man with a GRC saying he’s legally female, or by hiring a woman.
We believe that the young folk nowadays call that a “self-own”.
As a lifelong political geek and former SNP and Alba Party member, I’ve spent years supporting Scotland’s independence movement. However, over the last few years, I’ve watched the campaign (as opposed to support for independence) wither away. Being a Scottish nationalist has become increasingly disheartening, like watching someone you love succumb to a slow, debilitating illness. In frustration, I switched off from my homeland and turned my focus to the drama of US politics.
Over the last three years I immersed myself in it, watching both left and right-wing outlets. I became so hooked and invested that I jumped on a plane to Washington DC for the 2024 election. I canvassed with DC Democrats in rural Pennsylvania (that’s me third from the left in the pic below), attended Kamala Harris’s concession rally, and went to Trump’s only watch party in DC.
My journey led me to believe that Scotland’s independence campaign could learn a great deal from Trump’s victory and the Democrats’ failure.
We’ll give you three guesses as to the highly controversial and extravagantly taxpayer-funded organisation that has its rainbow fingerprints all over this story, readers.
To be honest, readers, the peculiar events of yesterday continued to nag at us all day as every news broadcaster in Scotland and beyond leapt eagerly on the ludicrous non-story from the Herald On Sunday’s front page. (It was even the #2 item on BBC Radio Wales, inexplicably).
For such an absolute nothingball of scurrilous sub-gossip to so dominate the entire news media was just too strange to ignore. We cannot remember the last time a low-grade freelancer managed to sell the same story to FOUR major Scottish newspapers – who normally, remember, only want exclusives for their big front-page splashes – let alone a crummy opinion columnist (not even an actual news reporter) who’s only been back in journalism for five minutes after a 15-year break as a failed PR guru.
(Once they’d all run the shoddy hatchet piece, TV and radio then had all the excuse they needed to blare it across the airwaves. “Oh, it’s not us inflating and amplifying this garbage, guv, we’re just reporting what the papers are saying.”)
So in our eternal quest for enlightenment and understanding we thought we’d see if we could find out a bit more about the little-known but recently-revived sleeper assassin with the ironic name: Carlos Alba.
Alex Salmond will be laid to rest in the green turf of Aberdeenshire today in a quiet and dignified private ceremony. (A public celebration of his life will take place next month.)
Most of Scotland’s press and commentariat beclowned itself shamefully after his death just as it did during his life, but below is a (regrettably short) collection of those who did otherwise and who deserve to be noted honourably beside the man himself.
Redaction is a tricky business, and comes with numerous pitfalls even if you’re being careful, which not everyone is. If you’re involved in creating a document you know will have to be redacted, there are a variety of safeguarding approaches you can adopt.
When I worked on a videogames magazine called Amiga Power in the 1990s, we ran a fun comedy feature about censorship. But because the company that published the magazine had had some unfortunate mishaps in the field, we took extra care by typing all the “offensive” words as random-length strings of Xs when we wrote the article.
And it was lucky that we did, because as you can see in the feature’s strapline, the art department misaligned the red redaction bar on some of them, and if there’d been a sweary in there it would have been easily identified.
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Unicorn Land. Immensely popular with the youngsters, whilst staying true to our rich, cultural heritage. Maybes a nod to our…” Feb 24, 20:29
agentx on When the law breaks the law: “FGS – no-one wants fun and enjoyment and jobs in Scotland. Misery rules OK?” Feb 24, 19:51
Scot Finlayson on When the law breaks the law: “They should never have kept with the name `Flamingo Land`, Loch Lomond Leisure or Eagles View Holidays. we need to…” Feb 24, 19:39
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Behold! The other pole of the Baird/Northy axis appears. As if from nowhere. Alert readers will be verifying Northy’s claims.…” Feb 24, 19:34
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Hate to break this to you, Alf, but no kid learns to speak their parent’s language in school. No force…” Feb 24, 19:23
Northcode on When the law breaks the law: ““In the 2022 census, 1,508,540 people reportit that they cuid speak Scots, wi 2,444,659 reportin that thay cuid speak, read,…” Feb 24, 19:06
Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: “Postcolonial theory is quite clear about the immense importance of indigenous language of the colonized people and the effect of…” Feb 24, 18:57
agentx on When the law breaks the law: ““airbrushed out of Anglocentric British history.” ————————————————- If it was airbrushed out how do you know about it? Contradiction of…” Feb 24, 18:27
agentx on When the law breaks the law: “Yeah can’t have people enjoying themselves in Scotland or creating jobs.” Feb 24, 17:58
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “If you’re right, Alf, as Scots speakers are a mere 30% of the population, then obviously Indy is doomed. The…” Feb 24, 17:31
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “MSM still all in a lather over the Davidson story. It’s unbelievably entertaining to see the Wokists putting their own…” Feb 24, 17:16
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “@Jay Sorry, just noticed your cry for help. Don’t feel bad that you’re unable to contribute anything of merit to…” Feb 24, 17:00
Alf Baird on When the law breaks the law: ““None of the statistics …can be sensibly interpreted without first being broken down into ethnic categories.” The same may be…” Feb 24, 17:00
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “There’s a rumour they’ve been taking lessons from Your Party. The one with Corbyn, the Sultana bint, and noo oor…” Feb 24, 16:30
100%Yes on When the law breaks the law: “Plans for Flamingo Land resort at Loch Lomond rejected! At last the SNP does something right for Scotland.” Feb 24, 16:03
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Happy anniversary of the battle of Roslin 1303. 3 victories for the price of one, yet another airbrushed out of…” Feb 24, 15:41
agentx on When the law breaks the law: ““More than 3,000 pages of internal Scottish Government emails and legal notes — now dubbed the “Salmond Files” — have…” Feb 24, 15:37
bobo bunny on When the law breaks the law: “The prosecution of Alex Salmond, the ongoing protection of the alpabetties and the jailing of Craig Murray tell all you…” Feb 24, 14:59
bobo bunny on When the law breaks the law: “Shows you how Tas, Corri, Kenny and Neale run Alba if they could not be arsed to consult with other…” Feb 24, 14:55
Young Lochinvar on When the law breaks the law: “Trade Envoys: investigate the lot of them! Watch out “Beefy Botham”! Numbers 32:23 an’ that..” Feb 24, 14:34
DMcV on The Future Is Yesterday: “So, the SNP won’t bring Independence, per NotRev’s monomania; who can? ALBA? Who will disaffected ALBA voters, dozens of them,…” Feb 24, 13:18
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Don’t tell him, Sara! With due acknowledgement to the immortal words of Captain Mainwaring.” Feb 24, 12:10
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “I found a FOI request online from which I post a fragment: “As stated in my original response of 16…” Feb 24, 12:06
100%Yes on When the law breaks the law: “James Kelly, asking for Sara Salyers to a video debate. If I was Sara I would turn him down, better…” Feb 24, 11:55
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““Have your own fun constructing narratives” It sure beats working towards Indy. I believe the Germans use an observation that…” Feb 24, 11:50
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: “Awa an shite, SR. If you don’t share something approaching contempt for foreign, alien values and systems than you have…” Feb 24, 11:42
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““You will have to ask that son of Scotland, Dòmhnall Iain Trump. He is protecting most of them..” Why don’t…” Feb 24, 11:30
Hatey McHateface on When the law breaks the law: ““At one time folks would respond to allegations of their being a huge crime syndicate influencing and controlling western governments…” Feb 24, 11:24
Cynicus on When the law breaks the law: “Willie says: 24 February, 2026 at 9:05 am “I prefer the nomenclature of Randy Andy and Handy Mandy. “ =======…” Feb 24, 11:13