Today’s Daily Record runs with a bizarre story lifted from yesterday’s Guardian, which resurrected the media’s longstanding but latterly-dormant hate campaign against the Scottish Government’s popular “baby box” initiative.
So, yeah. It was on this day in 1991 that the first ever proper issue of Amiga Power (A Magazine With Tatty Shoes, or something) hit Britons’ newsagents’ shelves.
>>SUB: PLEASE CHECK IMAGE
And while vast numbers of old games magazines are now available to read as lovely friendly PDFs or similar that you can load up onto your computer or electro-tablet and flick through page by page in a gratifying manner, AP inexplicably isn’t.
As alert readers will recall, nowadays we only look at the Scottish Daily Express if we’re absolutely desperate for material, so this piece slipped past us a few days ago:
And since the only thing in the papers today is page after page of unbearable fawning drivel about the stupendously insignificant (fifth in line to the throne, will never ever be king unless a terrorist blows up Buckingham Palace with an atomic bomb, is roughly as important to the wellbeing of the nation as Hamilton Accies’ third-choice goalkeeper) royal baby, we figured we may as well have a look at it now.
Even in a sluggish news season, it’s somehow extra-dispiriting to see a once-august newspaper like the Sunday Times fill its pages by trying to flog its readers reheated old cobblers from the previous day’s Daily Mail.
We’ve already shredded the towering stupidity of the story itself (the Times dutifully repeats all the exact same drivel about meal deals and loyalty vouchers), so we were pleased when social media presented a new angle on it.
Pointing out the spectacular levels of imbecility among Scotland’s elected Tories has threatened to become a full-time job for this website in recent months. We wish we could say that today’s example was even a particularly noteworthy one, but tragically it’s about par for the course.
Today’s Scottish Daily Mail leads with a rather limp piece about some fairly minor and unavoidable loopholes in the new legislation for minimum alcohol pricing. It notes, for example, that if people order alcohol online and it’s despatched by the supplier from outside Scotland, the Scottish Government will have no jurisdiction over the price.
(Because the UK has no internal border controls and there’s no law against someone buying cheaper booze in England and bringing it home to Scotland.)
Retailers, of course, can easily block this loophole if they choose to, by refusing to deliver cheap alcohol purchases to Scottish addresses, so it’s not much of a problem.
And the other “loopholes” aren’t actually loopholes at all – one*, according to the Mail, is that “loyalty reward vouchers can also continue to be offered to cut the cost of alcohol”, which is a bit like saying it’s a “loophole” that employers could give people pay rises that they might use to buy more beer.
But if you thought THAT was stupid, Annie Wells MSP is here to raise the bar.
(NB These rules do not apply to Andrew Neil, Nick Robinson, etc etc. Like, duh. In a properly democratic country we’d be able to use FOI to actually see the blacklist, but this is the BBC we’re talking about.)
There can surely be no country on Earth cursed and plagued with a more pathetic shower of petty, whining, gossiping harpies in those roles than Scotland. And while we knew that already, barely a day seems to go by without them reaching a new nadir.
If you’ve got the stomach to hear about the latest low point, grit your teeth, lower your expectations of humanity considerably and read on.
Yes, we know the Express announces a “killer blow” to independence every couple of weeks. But otherwise we can think of nothing to add to this story, so just click the pic to read and enjoy.
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “George Sorry brother I’m an atheist after a youth spent being dragged weekly to fairly hardcore COS. I worked out…” Apr 22, 00:44
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “James Kelly, reveals a bit more of the family home. This time with his bedroom and some of his favorite…” Apr 21, 22:57
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Thanks Sven I typed that on the hoof without checking. Sorry. Appreciate it! 🙂” Apr 21, 22:00
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Young Lochinvar I genuinely think people dont understand what is happening. The Lord High Commissioner did a great job last…” Apr 21, 21:11
Sven on The Pit Of Vipers: “I believe it’s the other way round for the Scripture reference, YL, 32:23. Very appropriate.” Apr 21, 20:50
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Young Lochinvar 7:22pm I am OK with the King appointing the Lord High Commissioner for the second time. A Catholic…” Apr 21, 20:41
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “100 percenter Yup, Does make you think doesn’t it? Wouldn’t be surprised if Mrs Redacto was a COS elder as…” Apr 21, 20:40
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “It appears to me Sturgeon power is entirely from people she has around her, who are complete and utter morons…” Apr 21, 20:18
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “Reply to Young Lochinvar Sarah What must Swinney’s wife think to all this, she has to know. If the rolls…” Apr 21, 20:09
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Lorncal The phrases you are looking for are: -Stairheid rammies -Manipulation -Daren’t leave the group incase they get talked about…” Apr 21, 19:41
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Screams; GUILTY.. Nae wonder Sturgeon was in tears of gratitude when he said he’d take over eh!? Can’t last forever…” Apr 21, 19:22
sarah on The Pit Of Vipers: “100%Yes: I don’t subscribe to the National but saw this story posted by other independence supporters. It is a shocker.” Apr 21, 19:18
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “C’mon Wullie Cicero is uber untrendy now after Bojo the Clown used him as an example in his getting sacked…” Apr 21, 19:16
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “You subscribe to the national, just wondering what is it you get from this Rag??” Apr 21, 19:05
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Lorncal Faggats and their legions of handmaidens..” Apr 21, 19:04
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “John Swinney rejects calls for public inquiry into Alex Salmond ‘conspiracy’, What a shocker.” Apr 21, 19:02
twathater on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ Angus, Colin Alexander has been posting comments on WOS since at least 2014 , his comments have been scathing…” Apr 21, 18:32
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: “Yes, Fanon tells us that ‘the colonialist may speak in the native tongue’, and that ‘colonialism is always a co-operative…” Apr 21, 18:28
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “Rev: stooshie going on at ‘The National’ and ‘The Herald’ newspapers because they wouldn’t run an ISP campaign advert unless…” Apr 21, 18:24
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “YL: not saying she wasn’t at the centre. Just that she did not kick the thing off, I believe. Others…” Apr 21, 18:16
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “I hate to say it, but, you know, this is women – or, at least some of them. It’s always…” Apr 21, 17:45
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “George @ 4.59 Correct.” Apr 21, 17:45
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “And look what happened to poor old Cicero, Willie. Mark Antony did for him.” Apr 21, 17:29
George Ferguson on The Pit Of Vipers: “@Alf Baird Fine Alf but when I served in Northern Ireland we were regarded as peace keepers. The context which…” Apr 21, 16:59
sam on The Pit Of Vipers: “You can add to that list the so called Troubles of NI. In which grievances over civil rights and the…” Apr 21, 16:36
100%Yes on The Pit Of Vipers: “Keir Starmer has resigned and his last wish is to grant Swinney a section 30 order.” Apr 21, 16:21
Lorncal on The Pit Of Vipers: “I didn’t say she was not, 100%. I said that she did not kick it off, others did. The opportunity…” Apr 21, 16:20
Young Lochinvar on The Pit Of Vipers: “Fat Slag Wilma Flintstone @2.26 “paaaaal”” Apr 21, 15:29
TURABDIN on The Pit Of Vipers: “TUCKER CARLSON one of the US rights many paper messiahs opined re my country of birth, «Iraq is a crappy…” Apr 21, 14:26