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Answers without words 167

Posted on January 02, 2016 by

We tweeted this proposition last night (the quote comes from a blog post yesterday by Scottish Labour madcase and all-round comedy relief Ian Smart):

rdfm

We thought you might enjoy some of the responses as much as we did.

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Not getting over it 312

Posted on December 12, 2015 by

A strange phenomenon we’ve remarked upon a few times since the independence referendum is the inexplicable undying rage of a certain subset of Unionist voters.

Having won the vote, a casual observer might expect them to be happy, but instead they appear to exist in a constant state of fury.

(Our own best guess is that they were expecting to triumph by a crushing margin of two or three to one – some fretted that it might only be a 20-point victory – and then suffered the double blow of a much closer result that kept the Yes movement very much alive coupled with a massive surge in SNP membership and support.)

smart28

A demented anti-SNP tactical-voting campaign for this year’s general election – led by, among others, a frothing ultra-Loyalist-nutter-type by the name of Andrew Skinner – recorded one of the most spectacular failures in history as the Nats captured 56 out of 59 Scottish seats, only narrowly missing the other three, and the party’s poll ratings have continued to rise since then.

So this week, Mr Skinner decided to try for a more manageable target.

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A tale of two situations 107

Posted on November 30, 2015 by

To mark the day that we both appeared in the Herald’s “Power 100” list of “The leading Scots who shape our lives” – and she had another go at trolling us – we’d like to dedicate this wonderful tune sincerely to the popular children’s author JK Rowling:

We’ll try to understand her problems more sensitively in future.

Why we love Twitter 408

Posted on October 29, 2015 by

Kezia Dugdale in the Scottish Daily Mail this morning:

“We’re not like the SNP. This isn’t a party of robots that are given a chip and told what to think.”

Twitter’s response is below.

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That happened quietly 165

Posted on October 21, 2015 by

The Scotland Office is unexpectedly no more.

ukgfs

It’s had an unannounced rebranding as “The UK Government For Scotland”.

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Person swears on internet 425

Posted on October 19, 2015 by

Nation’s political journalists shocked.

fo1

More “news” at 1pm, 6pm, 10pm10.30pm, etc, etc, etc, etc.

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A cautionary tale 250

Posted on September 21, 2015 by

So today we read this:

pfearjp

And it was good.

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The lesser of two stupids 673

Posted on September 01, 2015 by

Let’s start off by losing some more friends. This site has no time for the Gaelic lobby. The obsolete language spoken by just 0.9% of Scotland’s population might be part of the nation’s “cultural heritage”, but so were burning witches and replacing Highlanders with sheep and we don’t do those any more either.

Being multilingual is an excellent thing, but the significant amount of time and effort taken to learn a literally-pointless second language (because everyone you can talk to in Gaelic already understood English) would be vastly better directed to picking up one that was actually of some use, and every extra fraction of a second spent scanning a road sign trying to find the bit you can read is a fraction of a second spent with your eyes off the road.

Non-primary native languages are a tool whose main utility in practice is at best the exclusion of outsiders, and at worst an expression of dodgy blood-and-soil ethnic nationalism. They’re a barrier to communication and an irritation to the vast majority of the population, who are made to feel like uncultured aliens in their own land.

But we’d still rather put up with Gaelic than complete idiots making our laws.

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The new binary 254

Posted on August 31, 2015 by

We can’t help feeling there’s a simpler way of putting that.

brightgreen

The suicide note 220

Posted on August 16, 2015 by

Earlier today Gordon Brown gave a speech in London, on a subject and for reasons which are unclear. It was widely trailed in the press, however, as an intervention in the Labour leadership campaign, with the particular goal of stopping Jeremy Corbyn from winning. It was – naturally – broadcast live and in full by the BBC News channel.

Corbyn wasn’t mentioned by name so far as we noticed, but to tell the truth we drifted in and out of the rambling, 49-minute, 30-page monologue full of celebrity namedrops and unconnected anecdotes, hypnotised as we were by Brown’s relentless pacing up and down the room like a caged animal.

Nobody who isn’t getting paid should have to endure the entire grimness of it, so using the magic of technology we’ve compressed it all down to a mere fraction of its length (just 20%) for you, but without losing any of the tone, content or intellectual nuance.

We offer it to you as an elegy. It marks the day that Labour reanimated the walking corpse of the only person left in the party that it considers to have any gravitas – not to win an election, but to try to crush the first man in living memory to enthuse tens of thousands of new members to join a political party in the hope of restoring the values it was created to uphold.

It is the day the soul of the Labour Party finally died.

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You may also enjoy 138

Posted on July 31, 2015 by

We couldn’t help but smile at the related tunes.

vnbrc

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A little bit of history, repeated 106

Posted on July 25, 2015 by

These pages from the 14 March 1998 issue of NME (just 10 months after the election of Tony Blair’s first Labour government) are a fascinating historical document.

nmedps1tn

They needed saving. So we found them and we saved them.

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    • sam on The Nobodies: “Mockery and insults are different. Alf usually gets insults and mockery. Insults are unnecessary.The intention is to hurt someone who…Jul 29, 12:10
    • Chas on The Nobodies: “Does that mean you are leaving ‘Wings’ for good? I hope so.Jul 29, 12:10
    • Northcode on The Nobodies: “I was in the mood for a spot of speech writing the other day, and I’m in the same mood…Jul 29, 11:43
    • Jamie on The Nobodies: “More pictures of Monica Bellucci are welcome.Jul 29, 11:11
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Sometimes mockery is richly deserved and entirely apt. Besides, sticks and stones eh? Maybe people need to have thicker skins…Jul 29, 10:54
    • Xaracen on The Nobodies: “It had to be said, Northy, and you said it well.Jul 29, 10:37
    • Northcode on The Nobodies: ““Democratic institutions inside a colonial framework cannot produce constitutional change”: Is a premise put forward by Alf Baird as part…Jul 29, 10:24
    • sam on The Nobodies: “The i paper ‘Burnham bounce’ puts Labour ahead in poll, but can it last? 18:44 Mon, 27 Jul Yahoo News…Jul 29, 09:58
    • Alf Baird on The Nobodies: “Hatey, you are on the wrong side of history and morality in your admiration for the mafia and its backers…Jul 29, 09:19
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: ““Racist yesterday, Alf, and now fascist today.” Is he really expressing such sentiments and views? If so, that’s a disgrace…Jul 29, 08:53
    • Hatey McHateface on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “On the subject of shite, Dan, it’s interesting that you have nothing to say to a poster who not only…Jul 29, 08:13
    • Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Racist yesterday, Alf, and now fascist today. You academics don’t half like to throw the big, complicated words around. How…Jul 28, 19:54
    • Andy Wiltshire on The Nobodies: “Apropos of nothing, Rev, what ever happened about Lynsay Watson? Was any kind of justice ever served?Jul 28, 18:26
    • Alf Baird on The Nobodies: “Indeed, “another lesson learned” is that fascist colonialism always has the ultimate method in its toolbox, if assimilation disna wirk,…Jul 28, 16:06
    • Dan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “I had also wondered what Monsier Pantalon in Scottish thought about the GSA situation. Robin ain’t happy. http://robinmcalpine.org/an-elegy-for-scotlands-dark-age/ Was thinking…Jul 28, 15:52
    • Chas on The Nobodies: “It appears Labour are shite. The SNP are useless. Lib Dems are nonentities. Tories are well Tories. Reform are the…Jul 28, 14:09
    • Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “No connection between colonialism and democracy, Alf? Doesn’t postcolonial theory also have something to say about the dead ends the…Jul 28, 13:54
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: ““Labour: 22% (+1)” “Up 6 points in about 2 months and it is not a bounce.” “Since 14th May 2026…Jul 28, 13:21
    • Hatey McHateface on The Nobodies: “Having exhausted all other decent options, Professor Baird resorts to trying the historically most fruitful one – blaming the Jews.…Jul 28, 13:21
    • Dan on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Are your posts still getting held in moderation Mr Scottish troosers? It’s jist that I haven’t seen several of your…Jul 28, 13:11
    • sam on The Nobodies: “On May 14th 2026 the Labour MP, Josh Simons, announced his resignation in the Makerfield constituency in order to allow…Jul 28, 13:07
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “Whether you like it or not (and whether you can even comprehend the implications – unlikely), the SNP has to…Jul 28, 12:53
    • Cynicus on Ain’t it funny how things change?: “Breeks, I will occasionally re-visit this site in the hope of seeing a post by you, or by the one…Jul 28, 12:47
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: ““there is a Burnham bounce for now.” “Labour recorded in our tracker since September last year, and is up six…Jul 28, 12:44
    • sam on The Nobodies: ““Although these three parties are all within the margin of error of our previous poll, this is the highest figure…Jul 28, 12:28
    • Alf Baird on The Nobodies: “The “desire for independence” as you put it is entirely negated since the national party leadership enters into ‘an accommodation’…Jul 28, 12:19
    • sam on The Nobodies: “I can only find surveys from 2023 about levels of trust the people in England and Scotland have in their…Jul 28, 12:18
    • Aidan on The Nobodies: “Now that the approach to the UN has failed and been rejected, does that mean therefore that there is no…Jul 28, 11:55
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: “You’re trying to tell me things that are painfully obvious (and in keeping with what I myself have been saying…Jul 28, 11:48
    • Captain Caveman on The Nobodies: ““Burnham Bounce” “Labour +1%” If that’s a “bounce”, Sam, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. 😀 Well within statistical…Jul 28, 11:32
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