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Whatever else may change 161

Posted on April 01, 2023 by

Scottish politics might be a binfire floating down an overflowing sewer, but it’s nice to know there are at least a few things that are reliable constants, and one of them is that George Foulkes is an idiot.

But while his tweet is wrong, it’s not VERY wrong.

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As you were 103

Posted on April 01, 2023 by

Minority Report 131

Posted on March 31, 2023 by

It’s not often we have to correct the figures of an esteemed KC like Joanna Cherry, but she’s made a straight-up mistake in her column for The National today.

Because of course Ash Regan and Kate Forbes did rather better than that.

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Before the storm 394

Posted on March 29, 2023 by

To be honest, Humza Yousaf’s new Cabinet satirises itself – everyone’s picking on the absurdity of noted idiot Shona Robison becoming Finance Secretary but the funniest is surely omnifailure Shirley-Anne Somerville as Trans Rights – sorry, “Social Justice” Secretary – so rather than waste our breath on it today we’re going to catch up on some results from our latest Panelbase poll that we haven’t managed to squeeze in amid the mayhem of the last couple of weeks.

They tell us some interesting things about the Scotland the new FM now leads.

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Better living through higher prices 331

Posted on March 28, 2023 by

Well, we’re off to a flying start.

This is certainly what the public want. So let’s see his plans.

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The beginning of the end 361

Posted on March 27, 2023 by

The beam on Kate Forbes’ face was quite something.

She’d clearly been exhausted by the contest some time ago, and must have been dreading winning and having to continue fighting the assault from within her own party. Her evident delight and relief at her own failure was a revealing moment.

The great unknown in this election was just who the SNP membership was. No poll could tell us, and with over 50,000 people having quit the party in the last three years, nobody knew who was left. But we know now: idiots.

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Empty Space 204

Posted on March 25, 2023 by

Humza’s Sneaky Peek 85

Posted on March 24, 2023 by

Wait what now?


And how would he know that, exactly?

Spinning the wheel 439

Posted on March 22, 2023 by

We’ve been thinking about it since last night, and we’re not sure if Humza Yousaf now still has ANY of the policies he started the leadership election with.

But this one‘s got us extra-specially perplexed, since at the start it was pretty much the main unique selling point he was hanging his whole campaign on.

Maybe you can help us out, readers.

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Fantasy Island 202

Posted on March 21, 2023 by

We can’t even satirise this stuff.

We might have a day off.

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The Final Insult 183

Posted on March 20, 2023 by

According to SNP President and acting CEO Mike Russell, SNP members are too thick to understand the concept of changing their vote, and integrity is “disruptive”.

We’re not very clear on why a revote would be susceptible to “hacking” in any way that the original vote isn’t, but we’re sure there’s a great explanation.

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The Casting Vote 150

Posted on March 20, 2023 by

There can surely be no credible disputing that the SNP leadership election – and therefore that of Scotland’s next First Minister – is, to put it very mildly, under a cloud.

The list of let’s call them “irregularities” is almost endless. The artificial truncation of the contest, against the SNP constitution; the packing of the hustings with Humza Yousaf supporters; candidates being denied any knowledge about the size of the membership until voting was under way, and then the party’s press chief and CEO both resigning over lying about it; the apparent existence of 6000 more ballot papers than the party has members; one of the Scottish Government’s most senior officers being improperly seconded to the Yousaf campaign (and then also resigning as a result); numerous documented examples of non-members being given votes while fully-paid-up members weren’t; we could, frankly, go on and on.

As things stand, whoever wins will be forever tainted by the process – easy meat for the Unionist opposition in the Holyrood chamber and the media and a potential legal challenge could cause untold further damage to the party.

With six days still left for voting, the case for a reballot – an administratively fairly trivial task in an election being conducted almost entirely online – is now unanswerable, and needn’t even involve a delay.

Only one person stands in the way.

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    • Hatey McHateface on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: ““another distraction from the matter of the day” I couldn’t work out what the matter of the day is from…Sep 1, 12:11
    • laukat on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “All the talk of how to get to an Indyref is I feel another distraction from the matter of the…Sep 1, 11:50
    • James Che on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “If Scotland is being treated illegally by Westminster and the EU as a devolved region of England then the Nation…Sep 1, 11:46
    • Hatey Mchateface on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: ““Still waiting for another real leader to emerge who will unite the movement” Wow! You have the difficulty in clear…Sep 1, 11:28
    • Hatey McHateface on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Phew, Alf, you’ll have had a narrow escape. Back in May I predicted your comfort zone would consist of another…Sep 1, 11:20
    • James Che on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Alf, Indeed, But we will be advised that one part of the 1707 treaty is applicable but not the bits…Sep 1, 11:16
    • James Che on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “They say that it is the 1707 treaty of union, its terms, conditions and articles that binds Scotland and England…Sep 1, 10:51
    • Luigi on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “How we miss Alex Salmond at this time. He would be running rings round the unionists, fearty nationalists and devolutionists…Sep 1, 10:47
    • sam on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Very good, Northcode. Michael Collins believed that British strategic ambiguity was a tactic used to maintain control over Ireland, often…Sep 1, 10:38
    • Alf Baird on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: ““it is the parliament for England … that continues a refusal for Scotland to leave the voluntary treaty of union”…Sep 1, 10:32
    • Frank Gillougley on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “NC has it. Lo and behold! There’s the straw man for all, right there! A commission. (The sound of nails…Sep 1, 10:32
    • James Che on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Scotland and Englands voluntary 1707 treaty of union created the parliament of Great Britain so they say, However the Parliament…Sep 1, 10:16
    • Alf Baird on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: ““So you want to get rid of the party of government that’s actually doing what you want.” The SNP ‘Scottish…Sep 1, 09:58
    • James Che on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “I was researching which article in the 1707 treaty of Union states that Scotland cannot hold a referendum in Scotland.…Sep 1, 09:55
    • James Che on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Stu, Well at least Scotland would not incur any national debt, As Scotland does not have a Mint of its…Sep 1, 09:43
    • Southernbystander on The Shortest Day: “YL Hot pot is indeed probably a pretty universal concept. Pie and mash is my manor as it were, growing…Sep 1, 09:41
    • Mark Beggan on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “My ancestors were a non discriminatory cattle reappropriation clan. They put in years of service to Hadrian and his filthy…Sep 1, 09:37
    • J Robertson on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Same reason I suspect for a lot of No Voting Grant -ie coming to the conclusion that the current crop…Sep 1, 09:33
    • James Che on The Shortest Day: “If the treaty of union is not a hoax, and holds a reality. Then the articles of that 1707 treaty…Sep 1, 09:32
    • Hatey McHateface on The Shortest Day: ““no longer a bank of Scotland” Feck! The hole-in-the-wall just spewed out £50 of fakes and now I see my…Sep 1, 09:29
    • Hatey McHateface on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: ““I don’t want an indyref anytime soon” “get rid of the SNP” The SNP don’t want an indyref anytime soon…Sep 1, 09:20
    • James Che on The Shortest Day: “The Bank of England would be responsible for all National Debt, as there is no longer a bank of Scotland…Sep 1, 09:17
    • Hatey McHateface on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “That’s odd, Mark. My reparations award confirmation came in a blue envelope, marked “THIS IS NOT A CIRCULAR”, and stamped…Sep 1, 09:13
    • James Che on The Shortest Day: “The Westminster parliament are stating that the Crown of Scotland along with the parliament of Scotland were a separate entity…Sep 1, 09:08
    • Hatey McHateface on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Fair enough. It’s a trap. Still, though, I’m confused. All those years of demanding a second referendum. Was all that…Sep 1, 09:01
    • Grant on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Personally I don’t want an indyref anytime soon for the simple reason that the SNP would have a major part…Sep 1, 09:00
    • James Che on The Shortest Day: “The Two separate Constitutions and differences of Law of England and Scotland in sixteen and Seventeen hundreds after the Act…Sep 1, 08:57
    • Mark Beggan on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “In the fantasy world of kolonized Kretins (great name for a punk band) why have the Romans not been brought…Sep 1, 08:39
    • Peter A Bell on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “You seem to be saying any old referendum will do. As if all referendums are the same. I really hope…Sep 1, 08:38
    • Chas on Haven’t had a dream in a long time: “Why is the membership info on this Mickey Mouse party a secret to those of us who are not existing…Sep 1, 08:28
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