Something really quite strange happened yesterday. The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was caught red-handed in the act of telling a bare-faced, unarguable lie in the middle of a general election campaign, and nobody cared.
Reacting to the Crown Prosecution Service decision not to prosecute dozens of Tory MPs who’d broken the law in getting elected in 2015, the PM offered up a quote, which was reported in most of the newspapers:
Nice wee bit of snark on “all the major parties, and the Scottish nationalists” there. But there’s a slight problem with the statement, which is that it’s an absolute lie.
He’d very kindly sent us a copy of the same article he’d sent the Beeb. We attach it below. We’ve highlighted in bold the only bits that didn’t make it into the BBC piece.
Some manner of strange, alien vortex swallowed the very concept of arithmetic as we know it earlier this evening. The answer to the question “what is 431 minus 425?” was variously reported by the media as -7, -14, +31 and -30, with nowhere that we could find offering the seemingly obvious answer of “6”. But that was only the beginning.
Because language wasn’t immune from the sudden redefinitions either. The Tories, who finished 155 seats behind the SNP, nevertheless proclaimed themselves not only the winners of the election, but the sole winners.
With all 32 councils now having declared, the Scottish local elections are over and the SNP have won again, taking 431 seats. Last time round in 2012 they took 425.
You might think you know the difference between 431 and 425. But you don’t.
This post is mostly here to give people somewhere to chat about the council election results as they come in. But this song, with a hat-tip to alert reader SparkleMonkey, is dedicated specifically and personally to the now-former Scottish Labour councillor (and one-time leader of Aberdeen City Council) Willie Young, who was ejected by the electorate earlier today.
Today is going to be a day of realignment in Scottish politics, in which the Tories will formally become the main opposition to the SNP. (Having already pipped Labour to second at Holyrood and having as many Westminster MPs as them.) Expect modest SNP gains and big Tory ones, both mainly from Labour, who have already lost overall control of Glasgow, their last stronghold.
Everything’s different after today, folks. Scotland’s choice will never have been more stark: extreme Tories in the UK for years and years to come, or self-governance. Let the chips fall where the people choose.
We had to rub our eyes when we got up this morning, because we thought we must have opened the wrong issue of the Times tablet app by mistake – the lead Scotland story seemed to be a reprint of a piece from the previous day’s Sunday Times.
Phil on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “My heart and head both say NO Insider. For I am a ‘yoon’. I think the Union is a great…” Apr 25, 00:57
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on How To Get Away With Crimes: “‘CONSIDERING A SEX SWAP? THINK AGAIN’, WARNS DETRANSITIONER A detranstioner who once took male hormones and had a double mastectomy,…” Apr 24, 22:26
Grace Green on How To Get Away With Crimes: “If men like the subject of this article were genuine they would have had surgery. In reality they are actors,…” Apr 24, 20:41
Aidan on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Fuck me that’s some shame for the Alliance, having someone like “James” associated with them. Ouch – I’ve been critical…” Apr 24, 20:30
James on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Two clowns looking for a circus. That’s right, Scotch folk; vote English Nationalist! Numbskulls. Alliance to Liberate Scotland. Bring it…” Apr 24, 19:26
Insider on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Phil, Seems an accurate summary of the situation ! The heart says YES !…why shouldn’t we be independent and run…” Apr 24, 18:03
agentx on How To Get Away With Crimes: ““together with a rising number of younger people attaining voting age, would have had a greater and fuller vision of…” Apr 24, 16:12
Phil on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “I think the Reform except on the independence question is reasonable. It doesn’t actually say Scotland can never be an…” Apr 24, 15:38
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on How To Get Away With Crimes: “UAIGNEAS Blas sméara dubh’ tréis báisteach ar bharr an tsléibhe. I dtost an phríosúin Feadaoil fhuar na traenach. Cogar gáire…” Apr 24, 14:57
lothianlad on The Pit Of Vipers: “Sturgeon and robison were along with others, corrupted, manipulated, controlled and blackmailed by the brit secret service. sturgeon drank from…” Apr 24, 14:52
TURABDIN on The Pit Of Vipers: “AN EXAMPLE OF HOW THE SOFT SELL IS DONE, https://www.facebook.com/aaciculturalinglesa/ I doubt in the texts used Scotland or Wales figure…” Apr 24, 13:52
Mark Beggan on How To Get Away With Crimes: “That’s a reality they don’t want to hear about. Flag waving and marching and blaming the English colonial fantasy. Is…” Apr 24, 13:35
Sven on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Northcode @ 12.31. “What is the true nature of the prison ?” Many factors are involved, I’d suggest, Northy. A…” Apr 24, 13:14
Lorncal on How To Get Away With Crimes: “H McH: when the time comes – and it will – there will be no choice. Either sink or swim…” Apr 24, 13:11
Northcode on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Scotland is England’s prisoner. In the year of our Lord, 1642, a chap called Richard Lovelace quilled oot these words…” Apr 24, 12:31
lothianlad on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Stick with it Stu!! We need you! Thank you for all you do for whats right.” Apr 24, 12:22
John H. on The Pit Of Vipers: “But he was eliminated in the end. It just took a while.” Apr 24, 11:47
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ TARABDIN “what then the fate of peoples without sovereignty?” Indeed, the people and nation will ultimately ‘perish’ unless they…” Apr 24, 10:13
Minceheid on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Hatey McHateface says: 23 April, 2026 at 7:15 pm Hmmm. Bananas don’t have cores. Plenty of people enjoy bananas so…” Apr 24, 09:55
TURABDIN on The Pit Of Vipers: “@ Alf Baird »COLONIALISM is always a co-operative venture» (Fanon). A truism, how did the Brits & French etc hold…” Apr 24, 09:51
Alf Baird on The Pit Of Vipers: ““our wee, pretendy parliament” Twas aye a fair description of a colonial administration, Hatey, also know as ‘indirect rule’ in…” Apr 24, 08:44
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Lorncal @ 23 April, 11.07 writes: « John Money was not “tragically misguided”, Fearghas. He was a PDfile » —————…” Apr 24, 00:23
Lorncal on How To Get Away With Crimes: “Confused: that pilot would have been female with XX chromosomes – therefore, intersex or DSD. DSD people are still either…” Apr 23, 23:22
Lorncal on How To Get Away With Crimes: “John Money was not “tragically misguided”, Fearghas. He was a PDfile and made those two boys (the twin brothers, both…” Apr 23, 23:07
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: “I swore a solemn oath to respond to you only once in any 24-hour period. But I don’t mind breaking…” Apr 23, 23:02
Hatey McHateface on The Pit Of Vipers: ““stop the Dog Whistle politics” What other politics would most of them have left if they stopped that? “we have…” Apr 23, 22:52
