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Archive for the ‘apocalypse’


Unicorns over Cowcaddens 137

Posted on September 13, 2014 by

The below appears to be Magnus Gardham’s column in today’s Herald.

magnusg

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The neverending plague 247

Posted on September 03, 2014 by

From industry recruitment website oilandgaspeople.com today:

“Scotland could be sitting on more than double the amount of oil and gas reserves currently predicted, a new independent industry investigation has found. The investigation reveals that the scale of Scotland’s untapped frontier West Coast or Atlantic Margin has been underestimated.

The investigation was undertaken by oilandgaspeople.com, the world’s largest oil and gas industry jobs board, and independent North Sea oil and gas industry experts. The investigation included interviews with industry experts and collated seismic and expert evidence from a range of independent sources such as the British Geological Survey, DECC, oil and gas companies, the Institute of Petroleum Engineering and the  Energy Institute.

The findings show that the current predictions of extensive untapped reserves of oil and gas could be underestimated by 100%. The West Coast alone could provide oil and gas for at least 100 years with an estimated value of more than £1 trillion.”

Another 100 years? A trillion pounds? When will this curse be lifted from Scotland?

Younger leopard, same spots 161

Posted on July 28, 2014 by

Our “Better Together” mole has just leaked us this exclusive extract from a new cinema advert with a re-imaged Alistair Darling listing the consequences of a Yes vote.

It’s really from the 1981 Labour conference, of course. But it’s fascinating to note that while the No camp leader’s politics may have softened somewhat over the intervening 33 years, his modus operandi hasn’t changed a bit.

The chocolate teapot 110

Posted on July 28, 2014 by

The UK Trident programme encompasses the development, procurement and operation of the current generation of British nuclear weapons, and the means to deliver them. It was announced in July 1980 and patrols began in December 1994. Its stated purpose is to provide “the minimum effective nuclear deterrent as the ultimate means to deter the most extreme threat”.

It has also been described by former Vulcan squadron commander (the UK’s original nuclear deterrent) and current vice-president of CND, Air Commodore Alastair Mackie, as Britain’s “stick-on hairy chest”.

choctea1

And yet other than “We should/shouldn’t get rid of it”, it’s rarely the subject of any serious debate or investigation. And as it’s the summer close season for politics, this seemed like a good time.

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The cataclysm continues 247

Posted on July 10, 2014 by

Only our very alertest readers are likely to recall our first brush with Azeem Ibrahim of the “Scotland Institute”, a right-wing think tank which recently came up with a report on an independent Scotland’s debt that was picked up by some of the less discerning newspapers but which we ignored for being too boring.

ibrahimageddon

And we must concede fair play to the eternally attention-seeking Mr Ibrahim, because he’s come storming right back with something altogether livelier.

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To punch above our weight 211

Posted on July 07, 2014 by

Earlier today we referred to a story from the Sunday Times, picked up by some of the tabloids this morning, about how Scotland manager Jock Stein tried to cancel a World Cup scouting trip to New Zealand in 1982 in a panic because he feared that Margaret Thatcher was about to start a nuclear war over the Falklands.

hiroshima

It seems remiss not to note a chilling passage from the original ST piece.

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Map Ref. 55°N 5°W 295

Posted on July 02, 2014 by

About 11 minutes and 30 seconds into last night’s Scotland 2014, Labour MP Gemma Doyle repeated one of the strangest arguments Labour use against independence. Having first denied that she’d ever seen any polls suggesting that the people of Scotland wanted to get rid of the Trident nuclear weapons system, she then fell back on the curious but much-used Labour line that getting rid of it would only move it “100 miles or so down the road”, and therefore be pointless.

There are all sorts of glaringly obvious flaws in that argument. One is the de facto case that the UK actually has nowhere else it can put Trident, and therefore if Scotland expels it the rUK will become a non-nuclear-weapons state by default.

The second is that even if there was somewhere for it to go, Scotland still wouldn’t be paying for it any more, which would be a huge benefit to the Scottish budget and a pretty good reason entirely aside from the moral and safety issues.

tridentmap

And the third is that Gemma Doyle doesn’t appear to know where England is.

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This is not a spoof 180

Posted on May 16, 2014 by

We have not made this story up. It’s not the work of BBC Scotlandshire.

bbcoil5yrs

Just casually, there, beneath an unassuming, innocuous headline. No big deal.

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Bring me sunshine 112

Posted on April 24, 2014 by

Remember how the No campaign was definitely going to be much more positive from now on, pushing a feelgood “sunshine strategy” to persuade Scots that the UK was the best of both worlds?

gethurt

Let’s see how that’s going, shall we?

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Expressway To Fear 193

Posted on February 21, 2014 by

DOOM!

“Blair Stewart, head of the company’s Edinburgh Residential Department, said: ‘Going by the current movement in property market, I should think there will be a three to five per cent growth in the £300,000 to £800,000 bracket and the £1million-plus will remain static.

I am expecting a slowdown as we near the referendum with buyers adopting a ‘wait and see’ attitude.'”

GLOOM!

“Delaying introduction of average speed cameras on the A9 until after the referendum has been branded a ploy to avoid an anti-independence backlash.”

We’re not sure we can take many more blows like this.

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Natpocalypse now 69

Posted on December 17, 2013 by

We enjoyed this satirical piece on Buzzfeed today picturing how various world media outlets would handle the end of civilisation via a double meteor strike/zombie virus catastrophe. We’ve pinched some of their UK examples for illustrative purposes, and added a couple of our own at the end.

zombieguardian

Have a go! It’s easy* and fun!

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Welcome to the debate 250

Posted on November 27, 2013 by

Dear Yes Scotland,

Please immediately contact Channel 5 and ask them how much they want for this:

Pay any price they ask, and show it on September 17th. 100% Yes, in the bag.

(Download links 1 and 2.)

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    • Hatey McHateface on Spot The Problem: ““she achieved nothing in government except to make things worse” Ah, c’moan noo, Red. How can you have forgotten the…Aug 27, 18:50
    • James on Spot The Problem: “You’re on speed, right?Aug 27, 18:47
    • Hatey McHateface on Spot The Problem: “You need to grow up, Bob. The adults have forgiven far worse people for far worse things far more recently.…Aug 27, 18:37
    • robertkknight on Spot The Problem: “Spartan… Back to the here and now, and irrespective of the useful idiots with Scottish accents, of which there are…Aug 27, 18:33
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    • Northcode on Spot The Problem: ““It’s not the only option.” Legally, it is the only option. The Scotland Act 1998 provides for a single legal…Aug 27, 18:26
    • Spartan 117 on Spot The Problem: “A good analogy, except for the unavoidable fact that it’s our own fellow Scots who are entirely at fault here,…Aug 27, 18:13
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    • Hatey McHateface on Spot The Problem: ““physical assaults” Bob? Are you saying some big, bad, English barsturts roughed you up? Did they run away afterwords, or…Aug 27, 17:43
    • Hatey McHateface on Spot The Problem: “@ Northcode says: 27 August, 2026 at 5:06 pm “Neither Scotland’s parliament nor a First Minister can sack a Lord…Aug 27, 17:38
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    • James Che on Spot The Problem: “Hatey, The Scottish government levies taxes in Scotland, as indeed HMRC do in Scotland from England, Except in Scotland having…Aug 27, 17:25
    • robertkknight on Spot The Problem: “Absolutely! Like all these people who don’t take responsibility for the decades of coercive behaviour, gas lighting, financial abuse and…Aug 27, 17:24
    • Hatey Mchateface on Spot The Problem: “I get you, Northy. Even of HR did something you approved of, it would be for the wrong reasons, so…Aug 27, 17:15
    • Jim Thomson on Spot The Problem: “This story just appeared on the BBC website: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgy7lmlvldoAug 27, 17:15
    • Chas on Spot The Problem: “Does anyone else find it amazing that in the past 300 odd years no historian, scholar, or politician has realised…Aug 27, 17:12
    • Northcode on Spot The Problem: ““…In practice, the First Minister would likely remove the Lord Advocate themselves rather than risk the embarrassment of such a…Aug 27, 17:06
    • Mark Beggan on Spot The Problem: “There’s more than one way to skin a cat! What goes around comes around! Just don’t blame someone else for…Aug 27, 17:03
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