With the “biggest party forms the government” lie now sunk and rusting slowly on the seabed (weighed down even further by polls suggesting that Labour actually will be the largest party even if they lose all of Scotland to the SNP), and four weeks of campaigning left to fill, Scottish Labour have had to grab a hammer, smash the glass on the “EMERGENCY – IN CASE OF DESPERATION” box and clutch desperately at whatever they found inside.
The abject answer is “Project Fear 2 – This Time It’s Full Fiscal Autonomy”.
Alert readers will probably recall that a couple of days ago we explained this site’s most fundamental purpose as being to teach people “how to read between the lines [and] and spot what isn’t being said” in newspapers, so we’re grateful to today’s Daily Record for providing us with a timely example of the second phenomenon.
That clip (from just past midnight on the BBC News channel) isn’t a bad starting-point summary of last night’s extraordinary story, except by our count the Telegraph’s piece was fourth-hand rather than third-hand.
(First-hand would have been Nicola Sturgeon. Second-hand would have been the ambassador. Third-hand would have been the consul-general. The civil servant – who doubted the story him/herself – is fourth-hand.)
This is also a pretty good primer. Now let’s get to the fun stuff.
In over 20 years of living in Bath, spanning five general elections, we’ve never seen a political billboard in town before. There’s been no point. In vote-share terms the city is the 4th-safest Lib Dem seat in the UK (and the 2nd-safest in England), and it has been since the party won it from the Conservatives in 1992.
But we’ve got a billboard now, featuring two men whose parties haven’t got an earthly hope of winning here (one of them because it’s not standing). What’s that all about?
We’ve had to illustrate this piece with a tweet from our old chum Duncan Hothersall, because at the time of writing the Scottish Labour account on Twitter has no mention of Labour’s “five point plan”, and nor does the branch office’s website.
And the reason for the absence of any more information is probably that the “plan” is another example of a Labour policy that looks like a tasty boiled egg until you crack its shell and discover that there’s nothing inside.
The Daily Record, still smarting from the humiliation of being forced to very quietly admit it told its readers a £20 billion lie about the Smith Commission late last year, has been in a demented overdrive trying to provoke Yes/SNP supporters this week.
It started on Tuesday with an echo of the paper’s infamous “Vow” cover, clearly aimed at winding up its detractors but which passed without much comment as social media users merely raised a brief weary eyebrow and got on with their day. But then the Record started turning up the volume.
Sometimes the UK media is so soul-crushingly moronic, readers, that it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. Nevertheless, we’re pretty sure we haven’t nodded off and woken up in 2017, so today’s papers must be even more idiotic than usual.
Alert readers will have noticed that this week we’ve been fascinated by the differences between the mostly-identical Scottish and English editions of The Sun. For example, the editorial below from today’s English edition doesn’t make it across the border.
For some time, readers, we’ve been puzzling to ourselves about quite why the idea of having to work with the SNP in the UK parliament enrages the Labour Party quite so much. Because it doesn’t make any rational sense.
Indeed, on any intelligent analysis the arrangement currently suggested by opinion polls is a dream outcome for the party. Think about it logically for a moment. Minority government lifts the burden of responsibility from your shoulders – there’s always someone else to blame if you bail on a manifesto promise, because you can say “We didn’t have a majority to push it through”.
(The SNP, it should of course be recorded, took advantage of this benefit of minority government more than once at Holyrood between 2007 and 2011)
But in Labour’s specific case in 2015, there’s what seems an even bigger boon.
Unionist politicians, journalists and trolls have barely been able to contain themselves with glee at today’s figures suggesting that Scotland’s economy was weaker in the last fiscal year than in previous years (though still healthy). We’ll keep this short.
With apologies to Jason Donovan, we felt we should probably have a look at the latest election leaflet Scottish Labour are putting through people’s doors.
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Yes, you’re right. Plus a filing cabinet can’t be hacked. But let the Rev have a break and enjoy himself…” Oct 29, 09:01
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “The perfect example of Where AI and computers running government can go wrong that could effect and affect everyone on…” Oct 29, 08:59
Dan on Faces In Sand: “Sigh… Response held in moderation because the links must have had “bad” words…” Oct 29, 08:29
James Che on Vibecoding A Better World: “The suspicion that AI would have have any more humanity in its laws and policies than the SNP to run…” Oct 29, 08:23
Nicky T Naquetti on Vibecoding A Better World: “I remember the glory days of “Digitizer”. It is hard to forget lines like: “It’s not every day a large…” Oct 29, 08:13
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “From an article about Rosebank in the Guardian Online: “The Guardian also revealed on Tuesday that the Treasury had already…” Oct 29, 07:44
Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: ““Which explains what happens in a colony, ‘where the colonized wish to develop and the colonizer holds him back’ (Memmi)”…” Oct 29, 07:25
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “Okay – so reading between the lines this is another one of these schemes dreamt up in the public sector…” Oct 29, 06:54
twathater on Faces In Sand: “There is a very interesting post on Mark Collets blog if anyone is interested” Oct 29, 02:38
WhoRattledYourCage on Vibecoding A Better World: “Do Fairlight or Manic Miner, only without the fucking bugs in them that made them crash when you got near…” Oct 28, 23:39
Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “I’m afraid the moon is merely made of cheddar so I think you might have been had.” Oct 28, 23:14
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““as part of that study did ask any shipping or freight operators whether they’d be interested in shipping their goods…” Oct 28, 22:06
Spartan 117 on Faces In Sand: “You’ll get no argument from me Dan regarding any of your points raised. The closure of Grangemouth was an utterly…” Oct 28, 21:56
Dave on Vibecoding A Better World: “I’m glad to see you back and posting, Stu. I was a bit concerned by the silence and thought that…” Oct 28, 21:36
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “It’s not a question of NO aircraft flying. If; – independence significantly reduces demand on the rUK – Scotland routes;…” Oct 28, 19:51
Dan on Faces In Sand: “Ach, who knew in a self-governing Scotland so many folk would lose their jobs because we wouldn’t have any aircraft…” Oct 28, 19:12
Hatey McHateface on Vibecoding A Better World: “Northy, I concluded long ago that loopholes are designed into laws on purpose. Why else does it take years to…” Oct 28, 19:01
Aunty Flo on Vibecoding A Better World: “Great idea, Grant! Don’t forget the baby wipes. (Though not exactly sure what they are supposed to be for)….” Oct 28, 17:59
SystemUser1 on Vibecoding A Better World: “My own experience with that software showed a severe glitch under high load. I found that the interface becomes completely…” Oct 28, 17:57
Northcode on Vibecoding A Better World: “AI isn’t just good at coding because coding is “simple” for AI engines — it’s good at coding because coding…” Oct 28, 17:42
Frank Gillougley on Vibecoding A Better World: “Just relieved that the private conversation BTL is now over! However, I am a fully paid up member of the…” Oct 28, 17:18
Mervyn Flange on Vibecoding A Better World: “It’s not just in the area of Scottish politics that you have made a great contribution. Many readers may be…” Oct 28, 17:01
Aidan on Faces In Sand: “@Alf – as part of that study did ask any shipping or freight operators whether they’d be interested in shipping…” Oct 28, 16:54
Grant on Vibecoding A Better World: “Genuinely curious, do you actually think AI is gonna be the end of us all imminently? Shall I order a…” Oct 28, 16:52
Craig on Vibecoding A Better World: “I did think about using AI to create a new political party that has an AI generated manifesto designed to…” Oct 28, 16:50
Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “Lorncal: Scotland’s unelected elites never had the constitutional authority to sell the nation in the first place, even under extreme…” Oct 28, 16:21
sarah on Vibecoding A Better World: “Nice to see that you’ve had some fun for a change, Rev.” Oct 28, 15:41
Stephen Welsh on Vibecoding A Better World: “Fantastic!, you need to give Grok Bot a play too, not as smart as Claude (at the moment) but really…” Oct 28, 15:24