There’s a very strange article on the front page of the Herald website this morning. It’s an interview with Nigel Farage in which the UKIP leader insists that his party, not the SNP, will hold the balance of power in the UK parliament after May’s election.
It’s a bold assertion given that current projections put the SNP on anywhere from 30 to 56 seats with UKIP expected to struggle to get 5 to 10. But Farage’s rationale for the statement is an interesting one.
The very few readers who don’t immediately just snort and turn the page when they see the words “George Foulkes” may have noticed in yesterday’s Herald that the thirsty peer could be found gloating gleefully that had Scotland voted for independence last September it would now be “bankrupt” due to the decline in oil prices.
We can’t be bothered pointing out for the 500th time that a Yes vote wouldn’t have seen Scotland actually independent until March 2016, and that the oil price NOW is therefore about as relevant to anything as, well, Baron Foulkes himself.
But we couldn’t help noticing a couple of small arithmetical details.
There really isn’t very much of a news story in this morning’s Sun “exclusive” that some Labour MPs say they’d quit the party rather than work with the SNP should the electorate deliver such a result in May. One told the paper:
Those of us who remember the parade of furious Scottish Labour figures going on TV and openly threatening to scupper any “rainbow coalition” involving the Nats in 2010, thereby ensuring that David Cameron and George Osborne came to power, won’t be the least bit surprised at the sheer depth of hatred and jealous rage that consumes Labour’s branch office in North Britain when the SNP are mentioned.
And there’s nothing eyebrow-raisingly new in Scottish Labour’s spiteful determination that if Scots vote against the Conservatives – but not for Labour – they should be punished with Tory governments. It’s the standard policy of electoral blackmail that the party has deployed against the rise of rivals from the left for years, and which it’s now also turning against the Greens south of the border.
But there is a telling phrase in that short quote.
Independent website Political Compass has just released its 2015 graph charting the ideological positions of all the political parties of the UK. It’s a fairly predictable one.
On the image above, we’ve added, for parties active in Scotland only, striped circles indicating each party’s 2010 position. But what does it tell us about 2015?
It’s somehow fitting that the lead article on Labour Hame today is headed by a lie before it even starts – an offer to join the party for £1 that takes you to a page where it actually costs five times as much.
(We’d noticed days ago that the much-hyped £1 offer had been quietly dumped after just a month, but it appears that nobody in the Scottish branch office thought to keep poor hapless Labour Hame in the loop.)
The article below, though, is remarkably even more dishonest.
A quick rhetorical question, readers: if, as Labour endlessly claim, the Tories want the SNP to win seats in Scotland in order to stop Ed Miliband being PM, why are most of the Scottish columnists in the right-wing press calling on Scots to vote Labour?
Remarkably, 26% of people planning to vote Labour in May, and an astounding 54% of likely Tory voters, say the SNP are the best guarantors of more powers, while 21% of Labour voters and 37% of Tories also answer “SNP” to the second question.
We wouldn’t want to be in Scottish Labour’s shoes if they were made of diamonds.
We pondered long and hard over how best to analyse Scottish Labour’s bewildering, oh-my-God-they’re-really-calling-it-that “Vow Plus” fiasco from yesterday, readers.
We contemplated noting the absurdity of Gordon Brown being its frontman when he’s not standing in May and won’t be in Parliament to deliver it. We considered a forensic deconstruction showing how it’s just the same old reheated, uncosted rubbish they’ve been waffling around for the past years.
(“Give Holyrood control of housing benefit, separating it out from the rest of the UK’s Universal Credit by mumble mumble! Increase pensions using the extra cash freed up by mumble mumble! Devolve workfare, which somehow magically ‘creates jobs’ by mumble mumble! Pretend we just said ‘1000 nurses’ all along, not the demented ‘1000 more than anything the SNP say’!”)
We thought about pointing out all the comical flapping the party’s done around its devolution proposals, presenting the weary and confused Scottish people with feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan after feeble, grudging, underwhelming plan – at least five different ones since 2009 – and resentfully upping the offer by the bare minimum they think they can get away with every time.
And we wondered if it was worth drawing attention to the fact that the latest effort is actually basically the Strathclyde Commission blueprint from the Conservatives with a red sticker hastily slapped on it.
But in the end, the truth is a lot simpler than that.
With a knife-edge general election just 90-odd days away, we must confess ourselves surprised at the sudden rash of candour/indiscipline (depending on how generously you want to frame it) that’s broken out in Scottish Labour.
It started soon after the referendum, when Edinburgh Labour chairman Trevor Davies felt confident enough, with the vote won, to announce on an officially-backed Labour website that his primary loyalty was to his party rather than to the people of Scotland, under the startlingly blunt headline “Labour first, Scottish second”.
But any notion that the comments represented nothing more than a vainglorious and momentary slip from a loose cannon were soon dispelled.
Let’s start with the obvious: nobody has a clue who’s going to win the 2015 general election. But almost without exception, commentators are saying that should Labour’s vote collapse in Scotland to the extent that current polling says it will, it will radically alter Ed Miliband’s chances of kicking David Cameron out of 10 Downing Street.
That’s a message that Labour are delighted to hear, because their entire Scottish electoral strategy/manifesto is the phrase “If you vote SNP the Tories will get back in”. Now, we already know that on the empirical level that’s complete cobblers – the Tories historically get in when the SNP vote is lowest.
But it could be fairly argued that those statistics are correlation rather than causation, isolated as they are from the rest of the UK’s results. So we decided to take a more detailed look at some of the possible scenarios from this May’s vote and see if the Nats really could let the Tories in.
sarah on Believers In The Ruins: “@ BLMac “Scotland is lacking..a leader who the enemy fear…”. I’d be happy with any leader i.e. with enough personality,…” Aug 13, 22:24
BLMac on Believers In The Ruins: “Looking at the history of independence movements what Scotland is lacking is a right nasty bastard as leader, ie a…” Aug 13, 22:00
sarah on Believers In The Ruins: “O/T: Mark Hirst fundraiser today for £5000 to pursue his case against the Crown Office for malicious prosecution. The crowdfunder…” Aug 13, 21:33
Breeks on Believers In The Ruins: “The weakness of a UDI isn’t necessarily constitutional legitimacy, nor political justification, both of which I consider favourable towards Scotland’s…” Aug 13, 21:14
Dan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Trouble is Stu that there aren’t that many people btl now… That’s because 8 years of an awful lot of…” Aug 13, 20:17
Aidan on Believers In The Ruins: “Aye thats it – there’s about 15-20 regular posters here, the plan is to bore than to death until what?…” Aug 13, 20:10
Chas on Believers In The Ruins: “Made me laugh Kenny. Alf has a plan-what is it? Bleating on about colonialism every fucking day is not a…” Aug 13, 19:40
Kenny on Believers In The Ruins: “I happen to be encouraged by Prof Alf Baird’s ‘shite’ – he has a plan, wtf do you have, Salmond’s…” Aug 13, 19:16
TURABDIN on The Other Kind Of Winning: “glad to find below the liners with a sense of proportion not to mention a sense of humour. have this…” Aug 13, 18:28
sam on The Other Kind Of Winning: “I may be wrang but I think Turabdin lives in Scotland. a wee bitty racial stereotyping going on with you.…” Aug 13, 17:49
100%Yes on Believers In The Ruins: “Yes, and it can only improve and it doesn’t need the backing of the SNP to support it.” Aug 13, 16:58
Chas on Believers In The Ruins: “I owe the learned professor an apology. He is clearly suffering from dementia as this is the only reason why…” Aug 13, 16:41
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “So that’s what we’re doing, Alf, we’re following the decolonisation template. Crivens! Care to provide a concrete example? Maybe a…” Aug 13, 16:40
Hatey McHateface on The Other Kind Of Winning: “Perhaps you need to educate yourself, TURABDIN. You might discover that the Earth-Moon system is unique within our solar system,…” Aug 13, 16:13
Alf Baird on Believers In The Ruins: ““Written in the post colonial textbooks” Correct Hatey, Scots are, sure as Celts winning the league, following the ‘decolonization template’…” Aug 13, 16:12
Hatey McHateface on The Other Kind Of Winning: “An interesting idea, Chas, but in a country where the immigrants are doing an ever increasing share of the jobs,…” Aug 13, 15:47
Hatey McHateface on Believers In The Ruins: “Listen to Professor Baird. He’ll tell you that Fanon, Memmi, Cesaire, Elkins and the Jonesy boyo predicted all this was…” Aug 13, 15:37
Hatey McHateface on The Other Kind Of Winning: “All very well but where aboot’s this genocide at? Thing is, if there’s a real genocide ongoing, none of the…” Aug 13, 15:31
Captain Caveman on The Other Kind Of Winning: “Can you imagine the scale of brass neck required to approach a hard-pressed charity for a new sofa, when you’re…” Aug 13, 15:28
Alf Baird on Believers In The Ruins: ““I know the numbers who support UDI are low” One third is not that bad considering colonial rule inevitably results…” Aug 13, 15:10
Morgatron on Believers In The Ruins: “Being a Clyde supporter, I never got the whole ugly sister bitterness. But being an independance supporter my whole adult…” Aug 13, 15:03
100%Yes on Believers In The Ruins: “Scotland’s Fucked!!! The National in my opinion is having to twist the truth because it knows its failed as an…” Aug 13, 14:41
robertkknight on Believers In The Ruins: “Ugly sisters everywhere you look! Tommy: “Doesn’t it make you feel proud to be Scottish?” Renton: “It’s shite… etc.” Aug 13, 14:30
robertkknight on The Other Kind Of Winning: “Indeed… Full-time (38hr week) employment on the (voluntary) Living Wage gives a gross annual salary of £26,600 A gross annual…” Aug 13, 14:26
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Anatomy Of A Grift: “We’ve been covering this topic for eight years now, so it seems rather unlikely that there are many people here…” Aug 13, 14:24
duncanio on Believers In The Ruins: “The SNP and British Labour in Scotland are like two unipeds laying claim to a pair of ragged trousers.” Aug 13, 14:18
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Isn’t it “wash ‘n brush up” time for you? Chop chop.” Aug 13, 14:17