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His judgement cometh 310

Posted on February 07, 2021 by

The Scottish Government seems determined to pile insult upon injury to the Scottish people in relation to the inquiry into its botched stitch-up of Alex Salmond.

A shocking story in today’s Sunday Mail reveals that in addition to wasting in excess of £1 million on the initial unlawful investigation, untold millions on a criminal prosecution and trial, and £55,000 on coaching its inquiry witnesses (so badly that almost all of them were forced to return to the inquiry to subsequently “correct” their evidence), it’s also spent thousands of pounds of your money on lawyers to successfully prevent one of the key witnesses appearing at all.

Possibly because the witness in question doesn’t exist.

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Our new best friends 52

Posted on February 07, 2021 by

Well, this just got silly.

We’re absurdly touched by your response to the daft wee joke fundraiser we set up this week to raise £50 over a court case. We’re going to have to drink a LOT of fancy gin now. Thank you so much to everyone who donated, at a time when a lot of very good causes are also raising money. We’ll help some of them out from the proceeds.

We can’t help thinking, though, that at a very stressful time for the Yes movement a lot of people were just enjoying the chance to have a bit of much-needed fun. So allow us to offer our extra-special thanks to some unexpected benefactors.

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The Toady 302

Posted on February 06, 2021 by

It’s hard to believe that it’s barely six months since grassroots SNP members rushed to the defence of Glasgow Cathcart MSP James Dornan when it looked like the party’s woke wing had pushed him out of his seat for electoral vampire Rhiannon Spear.

The loud uproar over a crooked NEC meeting that effectively deselected Dornan – the same one that stitched up Joanna Cherry – saw him reinstated as candidate, although the decision over Cherry wasn’t reversed. But the warning shot across Dornan’s bows clearly worked, because look at the state of him now.

Ever since the summer fiasco Dornan has been the most obsequiously loyal follower of the leadership in the entire party, but today’s tweet is a new low.

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Rage Of The Wokerati 99

Posted on February 05, 2021 by

It’s safe to say, readers, that our light-hearted new impromptu fundraiser has well and truly unhinged a few members of Scotland’s unhappiest community: the WokeNats.

So when the lovely and super-talented film-maker Phantom Power very kindly tweeted about it this afternoon, asking “where would we be without Wings?” and suggesting people might possibly donate a pound or two, one of them saw no contradiction about making these two replies, less than an hour apart.

We clear on the rules? Death threats bad, putting my head in an incinerator good.

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Things to do today 137

Posted on February 05, 2021 by

There’s currently a rather large and somewhat embarrassing vacancy at the top of the Yes movement. You may wish to be part of an organisation which includes some very good people seeking to do something about it.

In which case you should click on the image above.

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The Enemy 195

Posted on February 05, 2021 by

The tl;dr is that Martin Keatings has lost his case over the Scottish Parliament’s right or otherwise to hold an independence referendum. Lady Carmichael in essence declined to make a decision over Holyrood’s authority to order any future vote, agreeing with the defenders in deeming the matter to be “hypothetical, academic and premature”.

We obviously haven’t yet had time to digest the full 72-page judgement, issued about an hour ago, and in any event aren’t really equipped to understand its dense legalese.

But there’s one thing we do understand.

Keatings was opposed by an alliance of the Advocate General for Scotland (despite his title, a representative of the UK government) and the Lord Advocate OF Scotland, who is a minister in Nicola Sturgeon’s government.

It was therefore the Scottish Government, alongside the one in Westminster, who were opposing the court even attempting to establish whether Scotland has the right to determine its own constitutional future.

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Sweet Violets And Turkish Delights 105

Posted on February 05, 2021 by

Alert readers from last night will notice that we’re currently running our first fundraiser since June 2019. It’s not one of our proper annual ones, in fact it’s basically just a joke at the expense of the Twitler Youth, but if anyone does want to kindly buy us a small treat of some sort it’ll be most appreciated. Click the pic to donate, if it would amuse you.

(The fundraiser is also to mark the one millionth reader comment on Wings. Jings.)

We’ll be back with some normal Scottish politics news shortly after noon, when we’re expecting to know the outcome of Martin Keatings’ court case over Section 30 powers. Should be a pretty interesting day.

Burning down the house 138

Posted on February 04, 2021 by

In a surprise development, we made Pete Wishart happy today.

And not just him.

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Beyond comedy 272

Posted on February 04, 2021 by

At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.

The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.

(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)

Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.

(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)

In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)

You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.

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The last tickings of the clock 197

Posted on February 04, 2021 by

We almost missed something today because it was hidden behind a bad headline.

One way or another, the current hell of Scottish politics will soon be at an end.

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CRITICaL mass 183

Posted on February 03, 2021 by

Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.

Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :

And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:

We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.

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You mustn’t slip up 159

Posted on February 03, 2021 by

Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.

(Depending on whether he’s allowed to tell the truth or not, of course.)

It’s a big document, so allow us to walk you through a few of the highlights.

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    • Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “@ Aidan If the production method to make English whisky is cheaper where savings are passed on and is just…” Oct 27, 21:19
    • Southernbystander on Faces In Sand: “Plenty of cheese in England Hatey, just saying.” Oct 27, 21:01
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    • Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “You do make me laugh Hatey. I can still feel the tremors of you banging your desk as you read…” Oct 27, 20:53
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    • Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “…e.g. all those ‘democratic mandates’ ignored by the colonizer.” Oct 27, 19:39
    • Bilbo on Faces In Sand: “Had to laugh at this. https://archive.is/Az6Nl English whisky GI approved with no Scotch impact assessment I say this in light…” Oct 27, 18:29
    • Oneliner on Faces In Sand: “Members of he Nazi hierarchy were not offered financial inducement for their signed approval. Members of the Scottish nobility of…” Oct 27, 17:42
    • Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: “International law concerning territorial alienation suggests there is no democracy for people in an annexed country.” Oct 27, 16:09
    • Minceheid on Faces In Sand: “Hatey McHateface says: 27 October, 2026 at 1:48 pm It could be that I’ve been fraudulently enjoying mental feebleness benefits…” Oct 27, 15:49
    • Northcode on Faces In Sand: “The Scottish independence movement has never operated at constitutional altitude because it focused on history, identity and party politics instead…” Oct 27, 14:41
    • Aidan on Faces In Sand: “I’m not sure there’s necessarily right in the context of Scotland Northcode – you are right that there is significant…” Oct 27, 14:13
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Sorry to hear that, MH. It could be that I’ve been fraudulently enjoying mental feebleness benefits that should have gone…” Oct 27, 13:48
    • Minceheid on Faces In Sand: “Hatey McHateface says: 25 October, 2026 at 6:23 pm Mental impairment is a badge of honour these days. It brings…” Oct 27, 13:15
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Some good ideas there, Northy, but the idea that the SNP wouldn’t fight like rats in a sack to be…” Oct 27, 13:12
    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “Wheesht, Alf! We dinna want tae tip aff the EU aboot hoo muckle they can rinse us fer when we…” Oct 27, 12:59
    • Northcode on Faces In Sand: “What Independence Actually Means(my compressed version) Independence is a modern constitutional process, not a feeling or a grievance. 1. Mandate…” Oct 27, 12:14
    • Captain Caveman on Faces In Sand: “The big problem from an “Indy Scot” perspective is the total dearth of political talent from its Political Class (of…” Oct 27, 11:29
    • Northcode on Faces In Sand: “Who Negotiates on Scotland’s Behalf After a Mandate? Once Scotland votes for independence, the negotiating team is not automatically the…” Oct 27, 10:51
    • Alf Baird on Faces In Sand: ““The ‘money’ aspect is huge” Deid richt tae, Scots plundered £150 billion+ a year an mair by a bankrupt England,…” Oct 27, 10:35
    • 100%Yes on Faces In Sand: “Why would I join? When Alex Neil said his strategy is to get support for Independence to a constant 60%…” Oct 27, 10:07
    • Chas on Faces In Sand: “An accurate summation Northcode. The ancient history guff is for numpties. The MAJORITY of Scots have to want Independence following…” Oct 27, 10:01
    • Northcode on Faces In Sand: “No Scottish organisation has ever articulated the real, modern, internationally-rounded process that would govern independence negotiations. Not the Scottish Government,…” Oct 27, 09:14
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    • William Smith on Faces In Sand: “The Irish weren’t immune to a bit if colonisation either – take Scotland, for example – the place is even…” Oct 27, 07:45
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    • Hatey McHateface on Faces In Sand: “It’s the pitiless crushing gets me down. That, and the eternal promises of cheese which never materialises. I like cheese.” Oct 27, 07:09
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