There’s a Calvin And Hobbes cartoon we like to post on social media when someone’s got themselves in such a pickle that they’re just flailing around desperately firing off every slogan, argument or insult they can think of to get themselves out of it.
Many things about the session are disturbing, not least the incredibly one-sided nature of both the witnesses and the committee, none of whom seem to have even a token interest in challenging the claims of the witnesses, however absurd or contentious (eg that praying for someone is basically a form of torture).
The Scottish Government have just launched yet another nanny-state “healthy eating” intervention, and to be honest, readers, the cheap-shot open goals just queued up.
Our first instinct was to do a simple picture gallery of some of the insatiable pie-hounds squeezing their expenses-fed backsides onto the groaning, creaking benches and chairs of the Holyrood and Westminster parliaments, such as Kirsten “Elbows” Oswald (pictured above, slumped back under the sheer weight of her neck) – so known to other MPs because you get between her and a buffet at grave peril to your ribcage.
(And no, we’re not telling you which ones told us that.)
More than three months have passed since Alex Salmond launched a lawsuit against the Scottish Government for its grotesquely botched handling of false allegations of sexual misconduct against him.
With Scottish politics currently in a completely moribund state, as the party of government disintegrates shambolically and the main opposition party keeps its mouth shut and its head down in an attempt to not destroy its newfound and extremely fragile status as a credible alternative, one might imagine that the political media would be desperate for the case to get under way and provide them with some juicy content.
So it’s slightly surprising that none of them has noticed the latest development.
We’re reluctant to even mention the farcical, embarrassing goings-on in the House Of Commons last night, but the very short version is that the SNP somehow contrived to save Keir Starmer from an embarrassing mass rebellion of Labour MPs.
And in so far as anyone cared about them at all, the people of Gaza were the losers.
As the long-running police probe into SNP finances continues, Wings received some slightly surprising news today in the form of an FOI response.
Based on reports from various trustworthy sources we’d expected to hear that the police side of the investigation was by this point winding down somewhat, with most matters of fact already established, detectives assigned to other duties and the ball now largely in the court of the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS).
Because we’re still more than two years out from the next Holyrood election, and it’s really hard to see how it’s going to pan out. So let’s throw some figures around.
This is so freaky I had to check they weren’t quoting each other. It’s like a game show.
Just a couple of nice well-brought-up Hutchesons’ Grammar boys in smart suits, there, thinking the same, speaking the same, saying the same, and angling for the same job. (Which one of them now has, and the other may have soon.)
If there’s ever been a (branch office of a) political party that could somehow manage to blow it in Scotland against the burning trainwreck in a ditch full of sewage that is the SNP right now, it’s definitely Anas Sarwar’s hapless Scottish Labour.
Honestly, this stuff is comedy gold. But in a winner-takes-all dumb-off with Humza Yousaf’s SNP, it’s way too close to call.
One year ago today, Nicola Sturgeon suddenly resigned as First Minister. And what a spectacular 12 months it’s been for the Yes movement since her departure.
Young Lochinvar on Empty hands and empty heads: “Used to be an ok paper. Greg Moodie, grown ups writing articles, heck even a bit of a laugh from…” Apr 10, 01:42
Peter McAvoy on Empty hands and empty heads: “When will these people realise that they wrecked politics and society when they allowed the trans lobby to hijack and…” Apr 10, 01:36
Mark Beggan on Empty hands and empty heads: “Jamie Greene should stay in bed. Every day he wakes the Tories get further to the right.” Apr 10, 01:15
SuperTonkatsuFighter on Empty hands and empty heads: “So… “Rebellion”, according to the SNP, means bowing and scraping to the EU?” Apr 10, 00:12
sarah on Empty hands and empty heads: “@ KT Lorimer, David Holden and Rev. Thanks for the information on the Brechin event and Lindsay Bruce’s Ayemail -…” Apr 9, 23:24
Morgatron on Empty hands and empty heads: “Has nothing to offer just like her namesake Sweet Fanny.” Apr 9, 23:09
Young Lochinvar on Empty hands and empty heads: “It would have been quicker just to say she is a full on Roaster.. Care in the community has so…” Apr 9, 22:17
Young Lochinvar on Empty hands and empty heads: “You’ll lose your CIA sh1tstirring stipend for talking like that McCarthyismface-bot..” Apr 9, 22:13
Vivian O’Blivion on Empty hands and empty heads: “It’s just a sub-sample. Westminster voting intention, More In Common, field work 4 – 7 April, sample population 124 Con…” Apr 9, 21:18
Frazerio on Empty hands and empty heads: “Rev, was hoping for some excoriating urine extraction in your blessed style of the defection of leading Scottish tory Jamie…” Apr 9, 21:02
Cee Bee Beaumont on Empty hands and empty heads: “Ah, Karen Adam. I like to look at who is trying to sell me swampland whenever I hear a new…” Apr 9, 20:55
David Hannah on Empty hands and empty heads: “She’ll have used chat GPT to write her article. It’s good to know wings produces top class journalism before AI…” Apr 9, 20:04
Lorn on Empty hands and empty heads: “Hi Hatey: I think what we are actually witnessing is the convergence of several different ‘woke’ threads. Witless people will…” Apr 9, 19:51
Hatey McHateface on Empty hands and empty heads: “Breaking News Now: President Trump raises China’s tariffs to 125%. President Trump lowers everybody else’s tariffs to 10%. Breaking News…” Apr 9, 19:38
Hatey McHateface on Empty hands and empty heads: ““not kow-towing to incels and PDfiles, autogynephiles and fetishists and encouraging youngsters to destroy their bodies” Of course, there’s another…” Apr 9, 19:12
Yoon Scum on Empty hands and empty heads: “If you think that the SNP wouldn’t grasp indy with both hands if they thought going UDI would work then…” Apr 9, 18:33
David Holden on Empty hands and empty heads: “The WBB distribution was handled by ayeMail an organisation set up the a guy called Lindsey Bruce. They also handled…” Apr 9, 18:31
Skip_NC on Empty hands and empty heads: “YS, you are President Trump and I claim my free pair of Foster Grants.” Apr 9, 18:27
Yoon Scum on Empty hands and empty heads: “After indy will you be 100% happy with Scotland having zero border controls? And anyone who comes into the country…” Apr 9, 18:12
KT Lorimer on Empty hands and empty heads: “On Wednesday the 23rd of April I4I, ISP, ALBA, NSP and the SNP are meeting “around the table” to discus…” Apr 9, 17:45
Lorn on Empty hands and empty heads: “I’m no spring chicken, but, boy am I f*****g angry, raging. It’s women like Ms Adam who make me want…” Apr 9, 16:42
Oneliner on Empty hands and empty heads: “I’m liking ‘vacuous honking foghorns’ To think all those years ago when I listened to the radio and didn’t know…” Apr 9, 16:39
sarah on Empty hands and empty heads: “Rev, how did you get your Wee Blue Book out for distribution? Why I ask is that we need a…” Apr 9, 16:34
MaryB on Empty hands and empty heads: “Karen Adam is typical of the NuSNP. She probably got onto the candidate shortlist because of a disability. The type…” Apr 9, 16:29
Cath on Empty hands and empty heads: ““The original anti-establishment group” Aye, until you kicked all the real anti-establishment people out the party, tried to jail them…” Apr 9, 15:48
Xaracen on Mad caps: “Chas said; “Is that the cranks who are going to the UN with some daft petition?” No, Chas, it’s a…” Apr 9, 15:47
Effijy on Empty hands and empty heads: “To be fair to her she must have seen how absurd lies in Indy Ref 1, Brexit and 14 years…” Apr 9, 15:35