Scotland has 2,174 miles of trunk roads, of which 1.7 miles (that’s just under 0.08%) comprise the Queensferry Crossing. For the next few days those 1.7 miles are going to be subject to some partial lane closures on the southbound side for maintenance.
They’ll cause almost no disruption, because as it happens there’s another very similar bridge conveniently located just a couple of hundred yards away – linked directly to all the same roads – that traffic will use instead.
Not much of a story, is it? We don’t know how many miles of Scotland’s roads have roadworks on them on any given day of any given week, but we suspect it’s quite a lot. It tends not to make the news beyond a few seconds on the traffic bulletin at the end, but today was different.
Cash is tight in Scotland’s Unionist-run councils.
If only there was something they could do to bring more money in, something they’ve been demanding the Scottish Government do for at least the last seven years and which the councils now have the power to do for themselves.
Back in the summer we sang the praises of one of Scotland’s tiny semi-handful of pro-independence print organs, the splendid iScot. So it seems only fair that we should offer the same courtesy to the other one we mentioned at the time, The National. It’s three years old today – how the time’s flown – and its editor Callum Baird wants your support. Over to him.
We wouldn’t say that the Scottish Daily Mail was obsessed or anything, but this is just today’s hysterical coverage of possible changes to taxation in Scotland which haven’t even been PROPOSED yet, let alone actually passed into law.
The efforts by the Scottish Tories to pull off some frankly ambitious shenanigans over today’s Budget continued overnight in increasingly bizarre fashion.
As with the Poppy Scotland funding, the party appears to be quite openly punting the line “We knew all along that this was possible and the right thing to do, but we deliberately punished Scotland for not electing enough Tory MPs”, in what can only be reasonably interpreted as an attempt at blackmailing future electorates.
The Scottish media, meanwhile, is doing its best to sell the issue as “a plague on both their houses”, holding the Scottish Government and UK government equally culpable for the mess. So let’s see what we know.
Yesterday’s edition of the Scottish Mail On Sunday devoted most of a page to a weird column from Ruth Davidson (in which she appeared to believe that Alex Salmond was still the First Minister), crowing about the great deal that Scotland’s 13 Tory MPs have supposedly won for Scotland in this week’s coming budget.
The first alleged fruits of the deal were revealed today.
That tweet is quite disturbing in itself, because what it unmistakeably implies is that if Scotland had voted for more SNP MPs in June and fewer Tories, the UK government would have retaliated by spitefully punishing innocent war veterans.
And Poppy Scotland weren’t too pleased about being weaponised either.
Seriously, all those millions in development, all the hundreds of pounds people have spent buying the PS4 and the VR headset and the game and the upgrade – how hard could it be to have it detect when you'd gone seriously off track and have the navigator go "ARGH! SHIT! OW! BLOODY HELL, GET BACK ON THE ROAD YOU MORON!", so as to not completely ruin the whole thing?
How dull-witted do you have to be, how far have you missed the point by, to obsess over every last wheelnut in the name of "realism" and then sit the player beside a virtually-real companion who keeps calmly reading out directions even as the car he's in plummets down a mountainside on its roof? For God's sake.
This is Spectator columnist Alex Massie reacting earlier this week to the news of Alex Salmond doing a show for Russian news channel RT.
Alex Salmond is these days a private individual with no responsibilities to anyone, and RT is a legal, Ofcom-licenced UK broadcaster whose output is beamed free into every home in the land.
The first episode of The Alex Salmond Show featured guests from both Labour and the Tories, opened with lengthy discussion and advocation of women’s and LGBT rights, followed by a 15-minute interview with deposed Catalan president Carles Puigdemont – something which has proven beyond the capabilities of mainstream UK news outlets despite the remarkable events currently engulfing an EU member state.
(BBC Scotland, we should perhaps note at this point, does not currently carry a single dedicated political TV show from a Scottish perspective at all and hasn’t done for more than a year.)
Massie used some slightly more measured language when it came to writing about the show in the Spectator, merely describing Salmond as an “idiot”, a “fool”, a “chump”, “pitiful”, “embarrassing” and “disgraceful”. But when it came to another former Scottish party leader, he was for some reason in a rather more forgiving mood.
We’ll be honest, readers – if this doesn’t make you want to leave the UK all by itself, it may be that there’s nothing that ever will and we should just give up.
(Alternative titles considered for this piece included Live And Please Let Die, Doctor Oh God No, The Barely-Living Daylights and Quantum Of Bollocks.)
Geri on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““he was a mossad stooge from way back, an agent of a foreign fucking power, which is I think, still…” May 5, 23:50
Jamie on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Hatey, I was trying to talk to you but I realise now you are either German or English, and I…” May 5, 22:50
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Here you go, James, have a fish. Three days since it was landed. Been in the sun quite a bit.…” May 5, 22:42
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I kind of skimmed your steaming piles, Confused, but glad I stuck it out to the end. Great news about…” May 5, 22:36
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: “You talking to me? Jeezo, and you were the one complaining about “flat earth level of trolling pish”! But seeing…” May 5, 22:19
Bibo on Binfire Of The Vanities: “@ 100%Yes Ali won’t be back. You can tell he is totally indoctrinated and lacking in critical thinking if he…” May 5, 22:05
James on Binfire Of The Vanities: “The pair of them are sharing a caravan in Margate…. One bedroom.” May 5, 22:05
Confused on Binfire Of The Vanities: “it’s rude to mock someone for their looks, even if unfortunate https://archive.ph/eF9Eo sometimes you wish the sons of satan, enemies…” May 5, 22:02
Cynicus on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““Surely there must be one SNP politician who actually wants Scotland to regain its independence and is willing to put…” May 5, 22:01
Confused on Binfire Of The Vanities: “www.youtube.com/watch?v=W10xuGFYmM8 that is funny, but this next is hilarious, metal-guru polishes his brassneck and puts it on display https://archive.ph/HDj4H -…” May 5, 21:59
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “They aint gettin off that easy. They still have to pay their share of the slave reparations and give back…” May 5, 21:58
Confused on Binfire Of The Vanities: “while its established TONY BLAIR is a cunt, a spawn of satan, who drove the nail into the coffin of…” May 5, 21:56
Confused on Binfire Of The Vanities: “the trouble with -cunts- being the devils own, is they never seem to go away; a bit of decent weather,…” May 5, 21:55
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “So it’s the Beast cage for Linden. Only took ten years for justice to be served.” May 5, 21:49
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Binfire Of The Vanities: “RÓISÍN MURPHY: ‘FRIENDSHIPS COLLAPSED OVER PUBERTY BLOCKER CRITICISM’ (Republic of Ireland) Singer Róisín Murphy has spoken out for the first…” May 5, 21:47
Sven on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Mark Beggan @ 21.11. Well, definitely not with me, Mark (for which small grace I’m sure you are duly grateful).…” May 5, 21:31
Aidan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “No James – I have spent the last few days up in Svalbard. Nice to jump off my final plane…” May 5, 21:22
Doug on Binfire Of The Vanities: “James Connolly joined the British army. Michael Collins [and other republicans] worked for the GPO in London. Sir Roger Casement,…” May 5, 21:20
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Socrates said; To do is to be. Plato said; To be is to do and. Frank Sinatra said; Do Be…” May 5, 21:11
Doug on Binfire Of The Vanities: “As long as Swinney remains leader of the SNP there will be no progress on independence. Vote [or don’t vote]…” May 5, 21:07
agentx on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I predict that SNP and Reform UK Ltd will not perform as well as the polls predict.” May 5, 20:48
Jamie on Binfire Of The Vanities: “If you have so much pity for the people of the flag on my profile, why don’t you go and…” May 5, 20:33
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““each one is free and independent when he/she realises it” Let me start a wee list: 1) Destroy your UK…” May 5, 20:27
Hatey McHateface on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““at least put some effort into it” You’re flying the flag of a country whose leaders have pursued policies that…” May 5, 19:53
Sven on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Mark Beggan @ 19.18 “Indy is finished before the vote begins.” To be is to do, Mark. The practise is…” May 5, 19:47
100%Yes on Binfire Of The Vanities: “I see Ali hasn’t returned your call. I’ll answer for him, their not and never will the SNP & Greens…” May 5, 19:36
Northcode on Binfire Of The Vanities: ““assimilation aye fails when peoples remain, even ‘the dregs of a rusted culture’ (Fanon) enough to breath life anew.” I…” May 5, 19:21
Captain Caveman on Binfire Of The Vanities: “On the contrary YL. The Welsh are a lovely, friendly and most welcoming people (as indeed are the Scots, present…” May 5, 19:20
Mark Beggan on Binfire Of The Vanities: “Indy is finished before the vote begins. Gloating is for fools.” May 5, 19:18