Alert readers from last night will notice that we’re currently running our first fundraiser since June 2019. It’s not one of our proper annual ones, in fact it’s basically just a joke at the expense of the Twitler Youth, but if anyone does want to kindly buy us a small treat of some sort it’ll be most appreciated. Click the pic to donate, if it would amuse you.
(The fundraiser is also to mark the one millionth reader comment on Wings. Jings.)
We’ll be back with some normal Scottish politics news shortly after noon, when we’re expecting to know the outcome of Martin Keatings’ court case over Section 30 powers. Should be a pretty interesting day.
At a certain point you just have to laugh, even though it’s not really funny.
The submission being referred to is NOT the one Alex Salmond sent to the Holyrood committee this week, but the one he sent to the separate Hamilton inquiry almost a month ago, which had been cleared by his lawyers and was published in full by both Wings and The Spectator and read by tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people.
(For reasons we’re not allowed to tell you, the Wings version has been totally redacted and the Spectator’s has had one paragraph removed but is still mostly intact.)
Because the Fabiani inquiry won’t be publishing the document, that means Salmond isn’t allowed to discuss it when he gives oral evidence, and the inquiry isn’t permitted to consider any of its contents, just as with Geoff Aberdein’s submission.
(There’s very little Salmond actually WILL now be allowed to talk about if he appears before the committee. He might just about be able to confirm his name before the Lord Advocate has him arrested and charged with whatever the opposite of perjury is.)
In other words, the exact people who are supposed to be getting to the bottom of what happened are the only people in Scotland who have to pretend they haven’t read the evidence of the primary witness. (While also not being allowed to see the evidence of the other most important witness, or almost anything else.)
You really would struggle to make this stuff up, readers.
Tonight somebody’s sent us a copy of the SNP’s official Social Media Policy, which is exactly the sort of awful corporate wonk-drivel you’d probably expect it to be.
Our favourite part was this masterpiece of unrememberable gibberish in the vein of the Scottish Government’s hopeless “FACTS” slogan (honestly, without going and looking can you remember what ANY of the letters represent?) for the coronavirus :
And here’s a tweet from earlier today from a prospective SNP candidate:
We’re not sure which of the letters that conforms to.
Alert readers will have noticed by now that while we were at the dentist getting rid of all our excess money, the Fabiani inquiry has published Alex Salmond’s written evidence submission, ahead of his in-person appearance currently scheduled for next week.
We’re feeling a bit confused this morning, readers. Maybe someone can help.
Below is the key part of the letter sent by the Clerks of the Scottish Parliament, acting on behalf of the Fabiani committee, to the Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service (COPFS) a week and a half ago, requesting material for their investigation into the Scottish Government’s botched handling of false allegations against Alex Salmond.
As we’d told you at the time, the request was a sham, designed to produce nothing of any value, because it carefully excluded the only person whose communications with Sue Ruddick were actually of relevance – SNP chief executive Peter Murrell.
(Murrell being an employee of the party, NOT a member of the Scottish Government, a civil servant or a special adviser.)
Readers, we swear to you we are not making this up. What you’re about to read are genuine extracts from the SNP’s official new (probably illegal) Equalities Mechanism explanatory note, detailing what does and doesn’t count as a disability when it comes to jumping the queue for a regional list nomination.
And straight away it’s a real punch in the gut for firestarters, muggers, rapists, flashers and, in most cases, hay-fever sufferers. THIS BIGOTRY WILL NOT STAND.
Having never been part of a political party, an area where Wings lacks expertise is in understanding the nuts and bolts of their operation, and how a party’s rules can be used to usurp their members’ power. We’re delighted to have someone equipped to provide a valuable insight into how that’s happened to the SNP in the last two years.
The following line is still a definitive statement in the SNP constitution:
“National Conference is the supreme governing and policy-making body of the Party.”
But in practice it is no longer the case. The 2018 redraft of the constitution centralised power in the Leader and in the NEC. The party Leader has sole and total power over policy – both in the manifesto and in government – and the NEC has sole power over who represents the party and what they are allowed to say.
So in effect, since 2018 the party elite – not the membership – has ruled the SNP.
Something most people don’t know about the infamous Spanish Inquisition is that it was never the Catholic Church that actually executed heretics. Particularly if a prisoner had refused to confess their vile heresy even under torture, the Church instead handed them over to the “mercy” of the state to deliver their end.
So SNP MP Kirsty Blackman (or as we understand some are already calling her, “the Tiny Torquemada“) would have fitted right in with it.
Captain Caveman on List Voting For Cretins: “Ah yes, the Metropolitan Left, Guardianistas being the epitome, spitting their dummies out because the rest of the UK (and…” Jan 2, 13:22
Aidan on The Gulf War: “Of course though the example you give isn’t human hallucination, it is an accurate statement of the UK’s constitutional structure…” Jan 2, 13:20
Alf Baird on List Voting For Cretins: ““I would vote for anyone who is sincere about indy” Yer wiss haes bin gied tae aw Scots fowk. ‘Liberate…” Jan 2, 13:19
Aidan on The Gulf War: “Will you once again decline to offer us a suggestion as to how this ethnicity-based voting franchise would be defined…” Jan 2, 13:10
Confused on List Voting For Cretins: “SNP = devolutionist grifter paedo advocacy woke nutter pension and caravan afficionados Green = life hating death cult which wants…” Jan 2, 12:55
Al-Stuart on List Voting For Cretins: “. Dear Stuart, What are the odds that Jimmy-The-Holiday-Grifter over at Midden Mansions in Crowdfunder Street by ScotPhut Town’s head…” Jan 2, 12:54
Confused on List Voting For Cretins: “a good point : the weasel wording of “populism” is right out of the oxbridge school of sophistry. While “democracy”…” Jan 2, 12:45
Alf Baird on List Voting For Cretins: “We also have to remember that the UK devolved assemblies (unlike Westminster) are required to use ‘local government’ electoral franchises,…” Jan 2, 12:44
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on List Voting For Cretins: “Yes. Swinney of course. But he is just the current stooge. We can assume that since 2014 the comprehensive re-emasculation…” Jan 2, 12:24
Andy Wiltshire on List Voting For Cretins: “Swinney wants to win this time and next time – he’s said as much. So there will still be a…” Jan 2, 12:05
Vivian O’Blivion on List Voting For Cretins: “A front page article in The Guardian this morning reads like Swiftian satire. An exercise in projection, and inversion. “Populists…” Jan 2, 11:54
Alf Baird on The Gulf War: ““In the final analysis, the only ones to blame for that are Scottish independence supporters themselves.” That’s not even a…” Jan 2, 11:50
100%Yes on List Voting For Cretins: “Of course they know, that’s the point. The SNP DOES NOT WANT INDEPENDENCE and it certainly doesn’t want a majority…” Jan 2, 11:20
100%Yes on List Voting For Cretins: “The SNP stopped working for Scotland the day Salmond stood down. John Swinney is holding a full deck of cards…” Jan 2, 11:15
Ian on List Voting For Cretins: “Scottish elections – 1st vote first past the post, 2nd vote D’Hondt. UK elections – FPTP Scottish council elections -…” Jan 2, 11:08
Vivian O’Blivion on List Voting For Cretins: “Political predictions for 2026 (and a bit beyond). The trends currently showing on the best fit curves, Wikipedia, Westminster voting…” Jan 2, 10:57
100%Yes on List Voting For Cretins: “So stand up John Swinney your a moron. So we have 815,420 votes wasted on a party who just isn’t…” Jan 2, 10:54
Skip_NC on List Voting For Cretins: “Well, when you have Scotland’s foremost pishologist saying that SNP and Greens are on course for a “pro-independence” majority and…” Jan 2, 10:42
Effijy on List Voting For Cretins: “Could some crackpot at SNP try to offer what on earth is going through their minds that they cannot comprehend…” Jan 2, 09:58
Alex on List Voting For Cretins: “Ummm because the snp do not actually want independence and their rabbid supporters just want them to get more votes…” Jan 2, 09:56
Xaracen on The Gulf War: “sam said; “This occurs when AI systems generate plausible but entirely fictitious legal cases or statutes. Such errors can mislead…” Jan 2, 09:50
Mach1 on List Voting For Cretins: “Despite your sterling efforts to communicate the bleedin obvious it seems to be futile in many cases, comments online continue…” Jan 2, 09:49
David on List Voting For Cretins: “How can we get this message across? The SNP keep saying vote SNP 1 & 2. Why has this strategy…” Jan 2, 09:37
Andy Ellis on The Gulf War: “It pays to be suspicious of folk who cast doubt on polls carried out by reputable polling companies using accepted…” Jan 2, 09:16
Andy Ellis on The Gulf War: “We need to nail this ongoing bullshit argument that the reason “minor” pro indy parties are failing to make progress…” Jan 2, 08:40
Alan C on The Gulf War: “‘Sovereignty party leader Brian Nugent announced this morning he would be standing for both the Shetland constituency and the Highlands…” Jan 2, 07:19
James Cheyne on The Gulf War: “The people whom died in WW11 fought for our freedoms, our rights in a free Country a Britain that was…” Jan 2, 06:43
James Cheyne on The Gulf War: “The error Alba made and still make is trying to emulate the Snp old party that had long gone. That…” Jan 2, 06:07
Young Lochinvar on The Gulf War: “Correct. Can the talking heads here who brook no disagreement please advise; who should we actually vote for? ISP and…” Jan 2, 03:50
Phil on The Gulf War: “The fatal flaw of this excellent site is the dogged insistence on taking these independence polls seriously. Thus a ‘six…” Jan 2, 03:07