To be honest, folks, we’re not quite sure what to do with ourselves at the moment.
Everyone and his wee dug is writing election-aftermath columns and offering the SNP advice of varying intelligence and solemnity about how to recover from the shattering blow they’ve just been dealt by Scottish voters.
But it’s a pointless exercise. They may as well be yelling down a manhole.
The Scottish Greens, in a feat of remarkable hubris and financial profligacy, stood 44 candidates in this week’s general election, knowing that most of them would lose their deposits, which they duly did.
But not quite all of them. And there the comedy arose.
Because while SNP boneheads on social media are raging idiotically at Alba, Wings and others for causing division and damaging the unity of the indy cause yada yada yada, a small handful of Green candidates made a real difference.
The 2005 election was the last time the Daily Record and the Scottish Sun both endorsed the same party at a UK general election. So, y’know, something is going on.
Survation released their final projection for the election last night. It’s quite a boring image because they had to make it mostly grey to correctly illustrate the margin of Labour’s lead.
Those ranges are substantial, but even their BEST-case scenario for the Tories is below 100 seats. The WORST-case scenario for Labour – 447 seats – still gives them a majority of 244, which would smash the all-time record of 209 set by the Tories exactly 100 years ago. (The best case is a dizzying 384.)
Scotland is probably the hardest area of the UK to call. In most polls there are only a few points between Labour and the SNP, and depending on how the votes are spread and who’s best at getting their support out either could still win the most seats.
That won’t, of course, make the slightest difference to the governance of the UK for the next five years. Even 57 Scottish MPs out of 57, for any party, would be completely meaningless to a government with a majority of over 200.
But it’ll make a big difference to the independence movement. Because if the SNP manages to hold onto to a significant proportion of its seats, we can all wave goodbye to the slightest chance of progress for another decade on top of the one that’s been wasted since Alex Salmond resigned.
In the modern political world, you don’t get anywhere without a movement, and movements don’t get anywhere without a flag. So we’ve decided it’s time to take action and stand up for a very large group of people who are genuinely discriminated against and significantly disadvantaged in our society.
Here’s their symbol.
Today is July 1st, and we officially, on behalf of all our oppressed kinfolk, declare this to be People Who Aren’t Eligible For A Railcard Pride Month.
I was going to write this article yesterday, but 2024’s miserable damp squib of a summer unexpectedly delivered a beautiful day – a perfect 20C of unbroken sunshine with a refreshing slight breeze – so I went for a nice walk instead.
Rather than my usual bird-feeding and bear-patrolling beat along the river and canal, I headed off on what used to be my standard summer stroll: up the long steep hill to Beckford’s Tower and its associated cemetery with stunning views over the city.
I’ll scatter a few pics from the walk throughout this feature, as otherwise I’m afraid it’s going to be a bit depressing and angering.
There are now just 10 days until the general election. Wings has never told its readers how to vote and we’re not going to start now. Which is lucky, because if we were, we wouldn’t have a clue how to.
Just, y’know, not for any of these wretched, worthless shiters.
The Flying Iron of Doom on Eyes Full Of Beams: “He’s got the sort of possessed energy which makes me feel as though he should be telling us how drinking…” Jan 10, 02:41
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “World Economic Forum: People: Keir Starmer: https://www.weforum.org/people/keir-starmer/” Jan 10, 02:06
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “World Economic Forum: People: Nicola Sturgeon: https://www.weforum.org/people/nicola-sturgeon/” Jan 10, 02:05
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Why is SNP shilling for Keir Starmer, lol Sir Labour hates Scotland.” Jan 10, 01:51
Michael Laing on Eyes Full Of Beams: “You are sick in the head. Clear off!” Jan 10, 01:37
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “My annual salary is under £12,000 (excluding expenses) – ‘Far-right’ (WTF), I’ve voted SNP most of my adult life, until……” Jan 10, 01:24
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “BBC: Who is Humza Yousaf? The rise and fall of a former first minister: “Humza Yousaf’s decision to leave the…” Jan 10, 01:13
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “I’m just a wee local gardener (nothing special:)” Jan 10, 00:49
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Elon Musk: “He is super racist”: https://x.com/elonmusk/status/1877504950802198946” Jan 10, 00:45
gregor on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “At Vance: Flying High: No Escape: “You never see what’s inside of me That’s why you won’t face the truth…” Jan 10, 00:35
Billy Carlin on Eyes Full Of Beams: “You maybe want to actually use your brain cells to do some REAL research and then you will discover that…” Jan 10, 00:11
wull on Safeguarding Is Not Right-Wing: “Well said, Ash Regan. I hope you do become the leader of Alba, and sooner rather than later. And that…” Jan 9, 23:29
Jay on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Hello Confused, thank you for keen observation, 124pages in 10mins really does look like special bigot speed reading. The main…” Jan 9, 22:57
Mark Beggan on Eyes Full Of Beams: “I’m beginning to wonder if Wokes are Scientologists in disguise” Jan 9, 22:24
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “BBC (2025): Yousaf accuses Musk of inflaming racial tensions: “Humza Yousaf, Scotland’s former first minister, has accused X owner Elon…” Jan 9, 22:19
George Ferguson on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Good investigative journalism Stu. I haven’t read any of The Ferret output and probably just as well. In general the…” Jan 9, 22:13
Dislogical on Eyes Full Of Beams: “The unsupported claims of misinformation remind me of the recent Bovaer scandal and the msm’s party line on it. There…” Jan 9, 22:04
gregor on Dreaming Of Perfection: ““X IS HUMANITY’S GLOBAL CONSCIOUSNESS — THE GOOD AND THE BAD: One of the things I try to create conceptually…” Jan 9, 21:52
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Humanity doesn’t have any sides.” Jan 9, 21:32
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Eyes Full Of Beams: “DAWKINS QUITS ATHEIST GROUP FOR CENSORING BIOLOGICAL DEFINITION OF SEX « Professor Richard Dawkins has resigned from an atheism foundation after…” Jan 9, 21:32
Marie on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Don’t flatter yourself – you’re not best at anything. YOU are the also ran – someone that watches MSM -…” Jan 9, 21:31
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Emily Burns: Terrified: I Love You, You’re The Worst: “Screamin’ out in ecstasy And breakin’ down?in?misery, ha And even?though I’m…” Jan 9, 21:27
Confused on Eyes Full Of Beams: “cool it with the antisemitism main, lee mordechai is jewish kudos for reading a 124page PDF in about 10 minutes…” Jan 9, 21:19
sam on Eyes Full Of Beams: ““Now, we’re not Nordic crime experts and we don’t know what those graphs do or don’t prove, but anyone rubbishing…” Jan 9, 21:17
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Narcissistic: “Having too much interest in and admiration for yourself: A narcissistic personality. Narcissistic people have a hard time seeing…” Jan 9, 21:02
Hatey McHateface on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Love you too gregor 🙂 You’ve picked your side, I’ve picked mine. Let’s not pretend it’s any more complicated than…” Jan 9, 21:00
John K on Dreaming Of Perfection: ““…Until the human rights legislation and the ability to interfere with political processes that is baked into the UK judiciary…” Jan 9, 20:44
Hatey McHateface on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Thanks Marie. I guess if I’m best, I need to take a step back and let somebody else have a…” Jan 9, 20:39
gregor on Eyes Full Of Beams: “Reality will deal with the nasty forever-losers.” Jan 9, 20:11