A comment from a reader sent us off on a spot of Googling this morning. If you type nothing but the word “Wimbledon” into the search engine, the top result isn’t actually a link, but instead some sort of unclickable wired-in tournament schedule data.
A striking feature of the data is the national flags beside each contestant. We couldn’t help wondering what would happen if we typed in Andy Murray’s name.
Each bright new day brings a fresh game of Spot The Magnus Gardham Headline here at WingsLand Towers, but we were a bit thrown by this morning’s front page.
“Economists say indyref could drive investors away” is pure Magnus, but that four-word qualifier tacked on the end is a bit out of character. What could be going on?
Seasoned readers will be aware of our as-yet-undiscovered mole at “Better Together” campaign headquarters. This morning the intrepid fifth columnist has managed to scan us the cover of the group’s handbook for activists (and forthcoming YouTube movie).
We’re sure more pages will be on the way soon, most days in the papers.
The weekend’s Scotland on Sunday contained another in a long series of doom-laden predictions about the state of an independent Scotland’s defences, including the assertion that current Scottish soldiers would choose to stay with the British armed forces rather than join Scotland’s because it’d be more exciting.
Today’s editorial leader in Scotland on Sunday is really interesting, from a language nerd’s perspective (ie very much on our turf). Entitled “A warning to No campaign”, the column – nominally on the subject of pensions under devolution – purports to criticise said group, noting that “the Better Together campaign, by repeatedly presenting the idea of change as a threat, is doing Scotland no favours.”
A recurring source of amusement for the independence camp is the weekly reader poll in Scotland On Sunday. Time and again the surveys fall victim to deeply-implausible sudden surges in backing for the Unionist option, often in the middle of the night and usually after Yes supporters have drawn attention to less favourable standings.
(The paper’s deputy editor Kenny Farquharson once memorably tried to explain away 25,000 overnight votes – in a poll which had attracted about a tenth that many* in the entire preceding week – as having come from American and Canadian readers, all having inexplicably decided to vote at once on the same day.)
A fairly typical example of the phenomenon, from back in April, can be seen here, but the No campaign’s IT black-ops department appears to have suffered from a bit of an itchy trigger finger this morning and pushed the bounds of credibility a little too far.
There’s an intriguing interview in today’s Sunday Herald with ‘Better Together’ campaign director Blair McDougall (described by the paper as a “Labour apparatchik”), to mark the anniversary of the campaign’s launch. We recommend buying the paper – our digital copy costs just 69p from PressReader – and reading the whole thing, but if you’re pressed for time the last few paragraphs sum up the content pretty accurately.
And if you’re really in a rush, the last two sentences will do.
We’ve got quite the exclusive for you today, folks. We’re indebted to the alert civil servant who’s managed to smuggle out of Whitehall a copy of the UK government’s draft document of its inaugural greetings to the people of an independent Scotland, to be delivered (naturally) by the Foreign Secretary, William Hague.
Given Mr Hague’s recent comments on how “baffling” the very notion of Scottish independence apparently was, readers may find the practical behind-the-scenes reality reassuring. You can read the speech in full below.
This is a genuine request for enlightenment, readers. Hopefully someone can help.
When we’re bored, we like to take a look at the Herald website front page and play Spot The Magnus Gardham Headline. It’s not usually too taxing a game – by way of illustration, we suspect you won’t have too much trouble with this example:
The actual story itself, though, has us bewildered.
We should, if for nothing else, commend the No campaign for gradually learning from experience. Much hilarity ensued when it attempted to claim an independent Scotland would need to renegotiate “14,000 treaties”, and even more fun was had when it produced a list of 500 (actually 507) “questions” about independence.
So we applaud the UK government for dialling down the crazy a notch and producing another doom-and-gloom list of reasons why it would be impossible for Scotland to achieve what around 150 countries have managed to achieve in the last century or so, but which restricts itself to just a modest 200 entries.
Stevie on Before Action: “All the Brit political parties are disgusting, but the worst is the SNP – they betrayed everything and everyone including…” Aug 21, 22:27
GM on Before Action: “Good news is shy these days. Well done to councillor Higgins. Any analysis yet on the repercussions?” Aug 21, 21:54
GM on Before Action: “Absolutely spot on. The paid UK trolls on here are similar to the paid UK trolls squatting under an upturned…” Aug 21, 21:44
Alf Baird on Before Action: ““When did the Indy movement become the post colonial movement?” I think you may mean ‘become the liberation movement’. According…” Aug 21, 21:21
Mark Beggan on Before Action: ““You can’t always get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need.” A Rolling Stones…” Aug 21, 20:17
James on Before Action: “That right, aye, Einstein?” Aug 21, 19:56
Alf Baird on Before Action: “Scotland is not “the colonialist mother country”, Hatey, that’s the country next door that annexed us in 1707 and has…” Aug 21, 19:55
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “come on then caveman and spartan – say something interesting, or insightful, or the slightest bit funny that indicates an…” Aug 21, 19:39
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Badges? Badges! We don’t need no stinking badges!” Aug 21, 18:32
twathater on Before Action: “So gobshite what are you doing about making Scotland a better place ,who did you and your fellow unionists vote…” Aug 21, 18:29
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “If you’re coming to the colony, form an orderly queue behind the flood of formerly oppressed and crushed colonised victims…” Aug 21, 18:06
Captain Caveman on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “Another day, another stellar display of rank, ignorant stupidity I see Confused. You’d be banned anywhere else, ten times over.” Aug 21, 18:03
Mark Beggan on Before Action: ““What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play Life is a Colony, old chum Come…” Aug 21, 17:45
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Very true, Alf, we can only imagine. In fact, the rest of us don’t even have to imagine while we…” Aug 21, 17:36
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “No referendum, section 30, or UDI required? It’s bold, James, but I guess you wouldn’t have posted it if you…” Aug 21, 17:29
Spartan 117 on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “You can’t help yourself, can you. You’ve just proven my point, yet again. What an arse to make of yourself,…” Aug 21, 17:14
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “The cash incentive is one thing but I prefer, ” tell us what we want to know or it is…” Aug 21, 17:10
Alf Baird on Before Action: ““The Scottish establishment will always kowtow to Westminster until we manage to get out from under the “union”.” Yes sarah,…” Aug 21, 16:03
Gavin on The Aims Of Justice: “Thank you for sticking with this, Stu. What you are doing is really important. Without your courage and tenacity, we…” Aug 21, 15:37
James Che on Before Action: “All this effects and affects how the law is dealt with in Scotland. If a Colonial Country comes to light…” Aug 21, 15:35
James Che on Before Action: “For instance is the 1800 Anglo- Irish agreement in 1800 with the parliament of England or the supposed parliament of…” Aug 21, 15:27
James Che on Before Action: “Alf, Indeed this is not Scots laws but the justice and laws of England, That said Scots know now that…” Aug 21, 15:18
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “I reckon the Scottish establishment will fight this with every means at their disposal. If they lose the legal battle…” Aug 21, 14:37
And Spouse on Before Action: “What is the chance that there might be a long game here. If they, SNP, can summon up the money…” Aug 21, 14:21
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “arday got the martyr’s death alright – he also fills a more pagan role; the “fool”, the “king for a…” Aug 21, 14:18
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “I understand that Sarah but to ride a bike you must first posses one then you need to learn how…” Aug 21, 14:15
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “incoherent as usual, main. I think you are in “must have a dig, because”- mode. do you have some perverse…” Aug 21, 14:13
Mark Beggan on Before Action: “Woke ideology! As you say it is a concept, nothing more. It has no foundation or academic relevance. Professor Alf…” Aug 21, 14:03
Confused on The Land Of Do-As-You-Please: “that was a fucking zinger – you should get your own slot on C4, or HIGNFY you’re yet another fucking…” Aug 21, 14:01
Hatey McHateface on Before Action: “Relax and don’t worry. It’ll pass.” Aug 21, 13:48