All this year we’ve been noticing a curious re-writing of history in the Scottish and UK media. It’s spanned left-wing and right-wing press, and even Yes-friendly voices like Iain Macwhirter and the estimable Lallands Peat Worrier have been sucked in.
Yet it’s such a fundamentally bizarre misunderstanding of a political system that’s now been running in Scotland for 16 years that we’re bewildered at the way everyone’s suddenly decided that it happened.
The latest occurrence of this odd phenomenon was in yesterday’s Daily Record, and the subject is the newly-alleged “informal deal” between the minority SNP government of 2007-11 and the Scottish Conservatives.
The election of Jim Murphy as branch office leader has so far failed to produce a shift in the party’s catastrophic polling figures north of the border, with most projections still suggesting that Labour’s Scottish seats will be reduced to single figures in May.
Last night we catalogued a series of its howlers since Murphy took over, culminating in a humiliating climbdown over some false claims about cancelled operations in the Scottish NHS. The party’s Scottish health spokeswoman Jenny Marra turned up on today’s Good Morning Scotland to discuss the subject, and in doing so demonstrated exactly why Scottish voters are deserting it in hundreds of thousands.
There’s been considerable mirth in nationalist circles ever since Jim Murphy became leader of the Scottish Labour branch office late last year. Announcing that he wanted to “reach out” to Yes voters, his idea of an olive branch was to hire three of the most divisive and obnoxious figures to be found anywhere in his party’s entire hinterland, in a move about as conciliatory and unifying as when Rangers signed Mo Johnston.
Counter-intuitively, the link-up with Blair McDougall (who headed Murphy’s successful leadership bid) is the one that makes the most sense. After all, as “Better Together” campaign director McDougall was responsible for turning a 30-point lead for No into a 10-point one, so he clearly knows something about how to appeal to Yes people.
One of the main strengths of the No campaign in the independence referendum was that it had an efficient production line for “truthiness”. Best known as a concept from the US satirical TV show The Colbert Report, the term means things that SOUND as if they’re true, and which people will therefore be inclined to believe, even though they fall apart under any factual scrutiny.
One good example is shown above. The facts on the graphic are individually true, and convey – without ever actually saying so explicitly – the message that Scotland is subsidised by the UK to the tune of £7.6bn a year.
But that message, despite being implied through exclusively true facts, ISN’T true, because the extra “spending” on Scotland is actually borrowing, which Scotland has to pay back. The real truth is that the figures on the left are accurate, and that Scotland heavily subsidises the rest of the UK.
But to walk someone through even the basic explanation of that is quite complicated and involved, whereas the original message is punchy and SOUNDS true. The simpler something is the more people want to believe it, so the implicit lie on the graphic is difficult to dislodge from their minds once it’s in there.
(It works especially well if the media is overwhelmingly on the side of those creating the misleading impression, because they can count on the fact that the mainstream press won’t run any analysis pointing out the flaws in the argument, and the only people who’ll ever encounter the explanation are those who actively seek it out.)
Do you remember the old days, readers? We’re talking about the far-off era of ancient history when Labour insisted that the worst, most evil, most right-wing thing that any government could do was to cut Corporation Tax, and that it was vital Scotland didn’t become independent in case that catastrophe occurred:
We’re feeling a bit stupid right now, readers. Earlier on today we sarcastically dubbed Scottish Labour “geniuses” over their plans to reintroduce alcohol (and sectarian singing) back to Scottish football at exactly the point when Scotland seemed to have finally turned the corner in its dysfunctional relationship with alcohol.
Indeed, for days now Labour have been carrying out a two-pronged stunt-photocall strategy, touring the country standing outside hospital casualty departments looking concerned about an almost entirely imaginary “A&E crisis”, while also leafleting every major football ground promising to let fans get smashed at games again.
Seeking a cheap laugh, we tweeted that we hoped they didn’t get confused and start handing out their “MOAR BOOZE!” literature outside the A&E wards, but then an alert reader pointed out that we were idiots and Jim Murphy was in fact an evil mastermind.
In September 2011, a group of US state employees took a man called Troy Davis from his prison cell in Atlanta, Georgia to a small room and strapped him to a gurney. They inserted a needle into one of his veins, hooked it up to some tubes connected to a machine and pressed a button on the machine, knowing that it would cause lethal chemicals to be pumped into his bloodstream until he died of asphyxiation.
These people – every one of whom doubtless considered themselves an ordinary, decent, caring member of society – participated willingly in the killing despite knowing that there was an enormous degree of doubt as to whether Davis was in any way responsible for the death of the man in whose name he was being executed.
Bafflingly, very few people found this behaviour at all odd.
One of the compensations of living in England (from the perspective of editing a website about Scottish politics) is that you get a much clearer picture of how English people – who make up 85% of the UK electorate, and as such in practice determine who the government is – see the country’s political leaders.
For those of you who don’t, here’s Charlie Brooker – a man who’s no fan of the Tories by any stretch of the imagination – casting a weary and exasperated eye over Ed “these strikes are wrong” Miliband on last night’s Weekly Wipe.
In our experience it’s a pretty accurate snapshot of how the hapless Labour leader is regarded by most left-leaning people down on this side of the border. You’ll need to have seen the rest of the episode to get the “Schofield!” joke.
SilentMajority on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “…have I slipped into a parallel world? Swinney now thinks that having oil & gas is a sensible idea…or is…” Apr 2, 21:24
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Exactly, Alf. It still goes on today with the con of being a NATO member. Americans proxies in Europe &…” Apr 2, 21:02
Alf Baird on Clocks And Calendars: “Colonial armies were created by English imperial rule from many annexed territories and peoples, of which the Indian army was…” Apr 2, 19:36
Andy Storrie on Clocks And Calendars: “A lengthy and irrelevant diatribe about a London-supporting party who abandoned their traditional base in 1997! Nae good, son. It…” Apr 2, 17:53
Young Lochinvar on Clocks And Calendars: “Beggars Really? He’s running out of super expensive ordnance, “gas” at American pumps is over $4 and mid terms are…” Apr 2, 16:21
Captain Caveman on Clocks And Calendars: ““Fraid the great colonisation era was British, not English. Many Irish and Scots took major parts in this process but…” Apr 2, 15:45
Northcode on Clocks And Calendars: “Powerful picture driven propaganda and stunning visual rhetoric. Hollywood has a rival… and it’s kicking Turtle Island’s top Turtle’s arse.” Apr 2, 15:26
Captain Caveman on Clocks And Calendars: “Ah, but you’re forgetting something, Aidan. On the one hand, we have the poor man’s own family, as well as…” Apr 2, 15:14
Alf Baird on Clocks And Calendars: ““Type A. The greedy, brutal, thieving, scummy, devious, cruel & demonic kind.” Seems a fair definition of colonialism, and what…” Apr 2, 15:12
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Look out for the one with Trump & his allies dressed as teletubbies dancing tae gay music – while P,…” Apr 2, 14:58
Aidan on Clocks And Calendars: “This has been covered at length by people within the independence movement and his family who are adamant that it…” Apr 2, 14:47
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Areswipe, Naw I dinnie know. Why don’t you explain tae the group how someone can shoot themselves twice in the…” Apr 2, 13:43
James on Clocks And Calendars: ““….The death of Willie McRae has been investigated thoroughly and there is no evidence that he was murdered by the…” Apr 2, 13:43
Confused on Clocks And Calendars: “the “south park” ayatollahs have put out a banger (as it were …) www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUJGXC4oNOA www.youtube.com/shorts/bdDqVk-MpRY www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAbsKw7f3DU” Apr 2, 13:42
Rob on Clocks And Calendars: “Got to laugh at some of the comments above, particularly the ones about type a and type b peoples and…” Apr 2, 13:41
Confused on Clocks And Calendars: “another nonce scandal at the bbc, whodathunkit, no one saw that coming does not surprise me tell you what though,…” Apr 2, 13:40
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “The snaw globes are birrlin wi that yin. King o the commode.. USA thinks aww those wee countries are jist…” Apr 2, 13:31
Northcode on Clocks And Calendars: “Turtle Island’s amphibian special forces outfit, the Navy Turtles, are gearing up, Turtle-style, to tackle the anti-Turtle threat that is…” Apr 2, 13:04
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Baby Senator Kennedy says ‘Let me just say for the record my Aunts Facebook page has more credibility than you…” Apr 2, 12:52
Northcode on Clocks And Calendars: ““The death of Willie McRae has been investigated thoroughly…” Yes, indeed… and by the very folk who murdered him to…” Apr 2, 12:26
Northcode on Clocks And Calendars: ““Care to set out a list of countries to go in Type A…” Top of the imperial coloniZing A-listers is….…” Apr 2, 12:19
Aidan on Clocks And Calendars: “Care to set out a list of countries to go in Type A and Type B Geri?” Apr 2, 12:04
Northcode on Clocks And Calendars: “Thon mad, bad and balding man-baby boss-man, King of the Turtles and Chief of Turtle Island… that top Turtillian, Donny…” Apr 2, 12:00
Aidan on Clocks And Calendars: “The death of Willie McRae has been investigated thoroughly and there is no evidence that he was murdered by the…” Apr 2, 11:35
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Aye, There really are just two types of ppl in the world. Type A. The greedy, brutal, thieving, scummy, devious,…” Apr 2, 11:25
Mark Beggan on Clocks And Calendars: “Don’t take Trump literally take Trump seriously or you might find yourself in the stone age.” Apr 2, 11:24
TURABDIN on Clocks And Calendars: “Your knowledge of both Irish & Scottish history is worthy of the badly trained AI bot. In the 18c Scotland…” Apr 2, 10:55
TURABDIN on Clocks And Calendars: “From PETER A BELL…..«That the “legal and constitutional” route does exist in Scotland’s own legal and constitutional environment will be…” Apr 2, 10:42
Geri on Clocks And Calendars: “Ach, Breastplate Now you know as well as I do that we have the wrong kinda oil. Tsk! It’s worthless,…” Apr 2, 10:33