Stat-pummelled readers will be glad to know that this is the last article we plan to write about the vagaries of the AMS electoral system, and how it might apply to next year’s Scottish Parliament election, for some time. This one also shouldn’t be full of tables and figures, so strap yourself in and let’s get this job finished.
We’ve only ourselves to blame, we’d be the first to admit. When we titled yesterday’s piece “AMS for lazy people” it was pretty much an invitation for people to get us to do their research for them, and so it proved.
Even as we slumped exhausted over a red-hot calculator, several readers wasted no time demanding a breakdown of how the mechanisms of the electoral system had affected last year’s European elections, in which UKIP defied some expectations (and delighted the Unionist parties and media) by taking a seat in Scotland.
The email we’ve had more than any other since the 8th of May is this one:
“Please can you explain how the Scottish election system works, and whether it’s a good idea for me as an SNP voter to give my list vote to someone else so as to ensure the maximum number of pro-Yes MSPs in Holyrood?”
We’d planned to leave that question until much nearer the relevant time, but to be honest we’re getting fed up of reading them, so let’s see if we can sort it out now.
Particularly alert readers may recall that we recently made a simple and seemingly innocuous Freedom Of Information request for the latest viewing/listening figures of two BBC Scotland politics programmes (Scotland 2015 and Good Morning Scotland), which was met with the standard BBC “get lost” response to any uppity licence-fee payer with the temerity to ask about how their money’s being spent.
We appealed to the Information Commissioner, and we’ve just received a prompt, and impressively detailed and specific, reply. We attach it below for your enlightenment.
For reasons best known to himself, and almost certainly NOT related to the recent publication of his new book, the BBC’s Nick Robinson has today chosen to reignite the issues surrounding his infamous questioning of Alex Salmond a week before last year’s independence referendum, claiming that the reaction to his presentation of the incident was reminiscent of “Putin’s Russia”.
The state broadcaster’s political correspondent then inflamed social media further by claiming on Twitter that a grassroots protest – neither instigated nor endorsed by the SNP or Yes Scotland – outside BBC Scotland’s headquarters in Glasgow a couple of days later was in fact organised by “a governing party”.
(Robinson also claimed the mob had been 4000-strong, although the BBC’s own report had put the figure at “up to 1000”. The demo was sedate and entirely peaceful – no arrests were made, nobody was hurt and no damage was caused.)
The footage showing that Robinson had lied on air about his encounter with Salmond was captured and published by this website, in a pair of videos which garnered well over 600,000 views on YouTube and one of the most-read posts in Wings history.
When we mentioned that fact earlier today, a reader asked what other posts were in the top 10. So we looked, and noticed that the biggest ones had a common theme.
Social media is alive today with tales of people being refused a vote in the Labour leadership election on the grounds that they don’t support Labour values (if anyone even knows what those are any more). We suspect you’ll be hearing quite a bit about it in the press over the coming days.
The prevailing reaction seems to be slack-jawed astonishment at the planetary-scale car-crash the party has allowed to develop around the issue, with another “coup” story thrown in for good measure in the Telegraph.
We can only think of one way the farce could become even worse.
Not our judgement, you understand, but that of Scottish Labour spokesclown Michael Kelly, former Lord Provost of Glasgow, speaking on today’s Good Morning Scotland:
So there’s definitely going to be a second referendum, the No campaign is going to win it again and a shattered SNP will collapse as a result, sending Labour triumphantly back to Holyrood power. (Having now come out on top in not one but two internal elections, presumably Kezia Dugdale is now also a “proven winner”.)
It’s just that we feel like we’ve heard that before somewhere.
An update, then: as we write, our anti-poverty fundraiser (which set out to gather just £500 for a young woman in Kidderminster fined almost £330 for stealing a 75p pack of Mars bars out of desperate hunger after her benefits were sanctioned) stands at a phenomenal £14,395.
This spoon-faced howler was pointed out mirthfully by vile cybernats days ago, but we suspect that the person at Scottish Labour who knows how to work the internets only comes in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It’s going to be a long road back.
Earlier today Gordon Brown gave a speech in London, on a subject and for reasons which are unclear. It was widely trailed in the press, however, as an intervention in the Labour leadership campaign, with the particular goal of stopping Jeremy Corbyn from winning. It was – naturally – broadcast live and in full by the BBC News channel.
Corbyn wasn’t mentioned by name so far as we noticed, but to tell the truth we drifted in and out of the rambling, 49-minute, 30-page monologue full of celebrity namedrops and unconnected anecdotes, hypnotised as we were by Brown’s relentless pacing up and down the room like a caged animal.
Nobody who isn’t getting paid should have to endure the entire grimness of it, so using the magic of technology we’ve compressed it all down to a mere fraction of its length (just 20%) for you, but without losing any of the tone, content or intellectual nuance.
We offer it to you as an elegy. It marks the day that Labour reanimated the walking corpse of the only person left in the party that it considers to have any gravitas – not to win an election, but to try to crush the first man in living memory to enthuse tens of thousands of new members to join a political party in the hope of restoring the values it was created to uphold.
It is the day the soul of the Labour Party finally died.
Chas on The Party Of The Dead: “Just out of intetest who is ‘our own people’? Have you got any names?” Aug 7, 17:32
Vestas on The Party Of The Dead: “Presumably they’ll have the “Murrell Money” to rely on for next years accounts?” Aug 7, 16:33
David Ferguson on The Party Of The Dead: “@Ian Smith it seems Glasgow may be an innocent party here. Arday’s claim that he was a “full Professor” at…” Aug 7, 15:34
I. Despair on Anatomy Of A Grift: “…and a sequel, Gorillas on the Piss.” Aug 7, 14:35
lothianlad on The Party Of The Dead: “The SNP leadership has capitualted to the notion of westminster soverignty!! Thats something the SNP NEVER did util sturgeon took…” Aug 7, 14:21
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Once again, Alf, many thanks. As you write, it seems difficult for me to understand. But ultimately, I’m not seeing…” Aug 7, 12:23
Captain Caveman on The Party Of The Dead: “Good grief, Alf, thought you might’ve taken the (very clear) hint from this site’s Editor last time: give it a…” Aug 7, 11:14
robertkknight on The Party Of The Dead: “What does DEI mean again? Oh yes, “Didn’t Earn It”. The road to WOKE is paved with the worst kind…” Aug 7, 11:00
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““Why the hell Glasgow made him a professor” Same reason all 19 higher education institutions in Scotland mostly appoint people…” Aug 7, 11:00
BLMac on The Party Of The Dead: “Hopefully the staff cuts have been on the demented pronoun police types, but that’s unlikely. Probably managed to weed out…” Aug 7, 10:56
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““I’d ask you for a weather forecast” As that seems difficult for you to understand, I’ll make it easier for…” Aug 7, 10:46
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “@ Southernbystander says: 6 August, 2026 at 11:17 am The very concept of taboos becomes irrelevant in a multi-cultural context.…” Aug 7, 10:32
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “That’s why getting rid of the SNP is important and will move things along. After the 2014 referendum the SNP…” Aug 7, 10:26
Ian Smith on The Party Of The Dead: “It was Glasgow that first made Arday a full time prof. That was the time to put his academic record…” Aug 7, 10:21
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “100% Yes, We don,t require a new movement, we require our own parliament with our own people running it. Rather…” Aug 7, 09:52
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “The insanity of having two English governing bodies means both sides of the border craziness. After all England suggested devolution…” Aug 7, 09:40
100%Yes on The Party Of The Dead: “The fall of the SNP poses a bigger problem not for Independence that’ll happen without the SNP, its The National,…” Aug 7, 09:18
James Che on The Party Of The Dead: “Alex spoke about there being no actual Union between Scotland and England but took the wrong road in placing party…” Aug 7, 09:10
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Mail absolutely ripping into the scarce believable story that is Jason Arday: https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-16035019/Labour-scandal-woke-dogma.html I really want to believe that this…” Aug 7, 08:43
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: “Cheers, Alf, that’s a great help. I’d ask you for a weather forecast, but I’m confident you’re gonna say that…” Aug 7, 08:05
Alf Baird on The Party Of The Dead: ““What happens next?” Postcolonial theory is clear, Hatey, there are only two possible outcomes with colonialism (Memmi): 1. colonialism is…” Aug 7, 07:56
Stevie on The Party Of The Dead: “Wish they would just, collapse and disappear – repugnant lot. The MacGhost of a dream that should now just fade…” Aug 6, 23:34
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Sorry Meant to add.. The “next” party.. What’s to stop the grifters and SPADS from just jumping ship to the…” Aug 6, 22:37
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I think that anybody predicting anything for 5 years in the future really isn’t paying attention to the news. But…” Aug 6, 22:25
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “100 percenter That raises the fundamental problem. If an alternative Indy party is not nurtured then the death of the…” Aug 6, 22:17
Young Lochinvar on The Party Of The Dead: “Powerful post indeed Red. Needed said.” Aug 6, 22:00
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““all part of the decolonization process (Fanon)”, eh, Alf? What does Fanon say about the hijab and tea towel wearers?…” Aug 6, 21:44
Skip_NC on The Party Of The Dead: “The Express? Well that explains it. I prefer the Beano.” Aug 6, 21:37
Hatey McHateface on The Party Of The Dead: ““Nicola could not have done this alone” The killer punch line in a knock out post.” Aug 6, 21:36
Andrew Kidd on The Party Of The Dead: “Large amount of assets disposed of. Looks like the auditors have done a thorough inventory of what was actually owned…” Aug 6, 21:27