But we suppose that it’ll at least be bleakly funny, whenever the second independence referendum comes round, watching Labour try to sell a vote for the UK as a vote for internationalist brotherhood and solidarity.
To be honest, readers, we gave up on taking any notice of David Torrance‘s mundane attempts at trolling in the Herald some time ago. But some alert readers pointed us towards this week’s column, suggesting that it was a bald rewriting of history some way beyond their usual bland irritancy.
This was the passage they objected to:
It’s a patronising piece of “shut up and eat your cereal” condescension for sure. But to be fair to Torrance, it does also happen to be true. Wait, not true. The other thing.
The starting pistol hasn’t actually been fired on the two-year Brexit process yet, but now we have a clear statement of when it will be: this morning on The Andrew Marr Show, the Prime Minister pledged that it would happen before the end of next March.
(We might end up broke, in other words, but at least we’ll be good old British broke, with none of those awful smelly foreign Euro-Johnnies around to see it.)
And nobody was getting a sick note.
And for supporters of independence, that’s about as good as news gets.
The Daily Telegraph just released a video called “100 Reasons Why Brexit Was A Good Thing”. It listed them to a soundtrack of “Jerusalem”, the same song that closed the Labour Party conference earlier this week with its stirring ode to just one of the four nations of the United Kingdom.
We’ve saved a few of the highlights below, just in case the Telegraph should delete the video in a fit of sanity. We’ve also added one fake one. See if you can spot it.
Low-wattage Labour list MSP Neil Findlay (rejected by the electorate of Almond Valley by a thumping 8,393 votes in May) puffed himself up to maximum socialism this week and attacked the SNP’s rather more popular Paisley MP Mhairi Black over a Scottish Daily Express story about travel expenses.
It might have been an idea if he’d read the piece all the way to the end.
You can see the full unedited Kezia Dugdale interview with Gordon Brewer on today’s Sunday Politics Scotland at this link, so you can verify that the shortened edit below isn’t misrepresenting anything. But if you don’t have time or attention span for the full 20 minutes, this’ll give you the gist without all the desperate waffling.
We think readers will agree that there can no longer be so much as a scintilla of doubt over whether Kezia believes Jeremy Corbyn can lead Labour to victory.
This is the longest piece of continuous TV exposure Kezia Dugdale will get between now and next year’s crucial council elections. Judge for yourself whether she seized the opportunity, readers.
A Sunday Times/Panelbase poll released today put Scottish Labour’s support at 16%, with the SNP on 50% and the Tories on 21%.
We’re sure that the media will pin Dugdale down over this weekend and we’ll get a detailed and convincing explanation of exactly what it is that she thinks changed about the fundamental nature of Jeremy Corbyn over that solitary month.
It’s long been a bone of contention for Scots – and not just nationalists – that the UK government, by common agreement, wasted the vast wealth windfall of the North Sea on funding Margaret Thatcher’s 1980s programme of deliberate de-industrialisation, mass unemployment, huge tax cuts for the wealthy and bribes to the working class in the form of Right To Buy.
It did so rather than investing the proceeds in a sovereign wealth fund, as demanded by the SNP (and some elements of Labour) and practiced in Norway, whose fund – only set up in 1990 – is now a literal embarrassment of riches.
But the reality is even worse than that. Because according to a 2015 report by the National Resource Governance Institute that’s just come to our attention, the truth is that if the UK had managed its North Sea treasure better, it could have done both.
Lee Floyd on The Plague: “After Lawrence, the pendulum of prejudiced malice carried out by police officers has swung the other way; what is it…” Aug 5, 21:50
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “On the subject of grifts, think twice before signing up for boxing lessons with one of the perhaps 5 new…” Aug 5, 20:52
Southernbystander on Anatomy Of A Grift: “These polycules sound great! How do you apply for a permit? Anyone in?” Aug 5, 20:51
Hatey McHateface on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Every now and again we read of something going on in Scotland that makes patriotic Scots resolved to say “We’re…” Aug 5, 20:04
Nae Need! on Anatomy Of A Grift: “It will get worse – Poppybear has an axe to grind.” Aug 5, 19:54
Hatey McHateface on The Plague: “So you’ve been on the receiving end of Alf’s aggressive oppression then, Northy. What was it destroyed yer hoose? A…” Aug 5, 19:42
Nae Need! on The Plague: “Speechless. Raging. Take care of your good self.” Aug 5, 19:38
BLMac on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Maybe if you promise not to put holes where no holes existed before….” Aug 5, 18:51
Bilbo on Anatomy Of A Grift: “I know this is clickbait but it’s not that unbelievable Sturgeon would join the Greens, or as they should be…” Aug 5, 18:43
James on The Plague: “That all you got, ju ju man? Thought so.” Aug 5, 18:25
Hugh Wallace on The Plague: “As a former cop, I echo your WTF? FFS! And I just joined the FSU after months of procrastinating. I…” Aug 5, 18:07
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “😀 Just another thick-as-whale-omelette reality denier, eh Fatso. Well, try as anyone might, you can’t educate pork (literally in your…” Aug 5, 17:45
Lorncal on The Plague: “It is, indeed, plausible, H McH, as the Rev must be a thorn in the side of the authorities whom…” Aug 5, 17:05
Morgatron on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Three of a perfect pair – of Sickos.” Aug 5, 16:59
Chas on Anatomy Of A Grift: “A round of golf can take 14,000/16,000 steps depending on the course played and the ability of the individual and…” Aug 5, 16:58
Lorncal on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Three men living in a ‘polycule’? Or three men in a homosexual threesome? I wouldn’t grudge anyone an op, and…” Aug 5, 16:53
Aidan on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Cue three complaints to Avon and Somerset police . .” Aug 5, 16:49
James on The Plague: “Yeah, yeah, yeah; same old unionist BS from the same old bad actors. “Naw he didnae” is the zenith of…” Aug 5, 16:42
Terry on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Brilliant. Thanks Stu. This nasty polycule of perverts has harassed us women in Aberdeen when we have done stalls and…” Aug 5, 16:40
Cuphook on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Do they live in a charity shop bin? There is a ‘Welcome to Inverurie’ sign before the one in his…” Aug 5, 16:38
Aidan on The Plague: “Okay James – so just to summarise, Scottish independence isn’t classified anywhere as an attempt to overthrow parliamentary democracy, Rishi…” Aug 5, 16:34
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “Who cares what anyone “thinks”, moron (or more accurately, what hyperbole they might have used in one speech). That doesn’t…” Aug 5, 16:00
agentx on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Personally I would stay well clear of the lot of them and not bother even checking what they are up…” Aug 5, 15:57
James on The Plague: “Fuckwit cave dweller; ask some of your Tory chums what they think. You will find your answer there ‘maaate’.” Aug 5, 15:46
Red on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Science fiction story idea – I Have No Dick And I Must Steal” Aug 5, 15:43
Ex President Xiden on Anatomy Of A Grift: “Some SNP election slogans over the years: Yes we can. Win the best for Scotland . 1997 Release our potential.…” Aug 5, 15:42
Ian on Anatomy Of A Grift: “In reference why someone might get a refund from GoFundMe, on their website it states “The GoFundMe organizer may have…” Aug 5, 15:39
Captain Caveman on The Plague: “@Fatso You originally said: “… that Scottish nationalism is classed as an attempt to overthrow ‘parliamentary democracy’ [lol] in the…” Aug 5, 15:28