Eternally angry Conservative MSP Adam Tomkins has been even shoutier than usual this week, purple-faced with rage about the fact that the SNP has decided to spend some of its own money (not taxpayer cash) asking people for their opinions.
It’s a curious argument from a member of a party that’s been rejected in successive elections in Scotland in 1964, 1966, 1970, 1974, 1974 again, 1979, 1983, 1987, 1992, 1997, 1999, 2001, 2003, 2005, 2007, 2010, 2011, 2015 and 2016, but keeps turning up and barking orders anyway. You’d think the first 50 years might qualify as a hint.
Fear and lies work. Over many decades (and really for centuries) the Unionist parties and the media have succeeded in persuading a large percentage of Scots that they’re beggars, scroungers, vagrants and “subsidy junkies” dependent on the ever-generous charity of England to keep them from starvation.
And in terms of the facts, that hasn’t always been an easy sell.
More or less since the morning of 19 September 2014, the Unionist parties in Scotland have kept up an unceasing chorus of “You lost! Accept it!” directed at the entire Yes movement, but primarily the SNP (despite the SNP having never to date disputed the result or called for a re-run of the referendum).
Readers may not be entirely astonished to discover this morning that at least as far as Scottish Labour are concerned, that principle only applies to other people.
Because we’re pretty sure there’s already a name for when political parties set out an “alternative programme of government”.
Nobel Prize-winning economist Joseph Stiglitz gave an interesting interview to Good Morning Scotland just after 8am today, in which he expressed a number of careful, measured and qualified views on a variety of subjects including currency.
But obviously Scottish people are much too stupid to understand stuff like that, so the BBC quickly dumbed it down for them.
The problem is that there’s a difference between simplifying and falsifying.
The Scottish Mail On Sunday felt obliged this weekend to devote newsprint in what’s technically an actual newspaper to a piece of snark that might just be a new all-time low in the highly competitive barrel-scraping field of “SNP BAD”:
Half a page was given up to a bunch of sour complaints that the First Minister had built in FIVE MINUTES on her itinerary on a school visit (aimed at encouraging girls to take up traditionally male careers) for people to get selfies with her.
Dismayingly often, the thing that irritates us the most about the Unionist press lying to its readers isn’t the fact that they’re doing it, but the fact that they do it so insultingly badly. As an illustrative case in point, here’s the Sunday Times’ reliably dull-witted Scottish columnist Gillian Bowditch today:
Now, let’s be generous and ignore the honkingly stupid first paragraph, which paints a couple of exceptional bad years as a permanent status, and focus on the second one.
This is the demented, McCarthyite state of madness the Labour Party has reached:
This is a party now openly rejecting anyone as a member who has ever supported any other party. We’d take a minute to try to explain to them how the arithmetic of that one works out, but they’re a long, long way beyond the grasp of reason now.
Scottish Labour won a council by-election in Fife last night, held after the long-serving Communist Party/independent councillor Willie Clarke (who can be seen on the last page of our Charlie Hebdo feature here) stepped down due to ill health.
The successful candidate Mary Lockhart was understandably jubilant, but there were a couple of what seemed like pertinent facts missing from the local paper’s report.
agentx on Looking up at the stars: “It’s an 80 minute game – Ireland 43 – 21 Scotland at the end. It was a great game of…” Mar 14, 18:58
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “A useless piece of smegma like you isn’t gonna be doing any rounding up, sit doon.” Mar 14, 18:23
James on Looking up at the stars: ““…murder and torture…” That’s your job, right?” Mar 14, 17:49
James on Looking up at the stars: “Sven; There always was and only ever will be one original “Site Prick”. It is in reality a 77th bunch…” Mar 14, 17:48
Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Just seen the news and have noted the latest piece of subliminal doublespeak. Kharg island in Iran was attacked because…” Mar 14, 17:47
James on Looking up at the stars: “Aw, Adrian, petal; I rather think it would.” Mar 14, 17:45
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Maybe be more specific as to which particular “site prick” you identify, James, some of our views may differ.” Mar 14, 17:38
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Yeah you come and round me up James you stinky fat shit. It’ll definitely go well for you.” Mar 14, 17:08
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “[« The Scottish approach was based on their misunderstanding of the two words ‘Scotia’ and ‘Scotus’. From the fourth century…” Mar 14, 16:55
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “« Bunaíodh cur chuige na nAlbanach ar an míthuiscint a bhain siad as an dá fhocal ‘Scotia’ agus ‘Scotus. Ón…” Mar 14, 16:53
Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “Ok. You have just advocated murder and torture. You are a cowardly prick. Now get to fuck.” Mar 14, 16:03
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Not that long AGO, Rev Stu published an article on here, ripping THE shit out of somebody for producing material…” Mar 14, 15:58
James on Looking up at the stars: “Can we start the round ups and lynchings with the 77th bunch? And unplug the Site Prick while we’re there?” Mar 14, 15:57
James on Looking up at the stars: “Wish someone would offer £20 for you to fuck off.” Mar 14, 15:31
sarah on Looking up at the stars: “Rugby score looking better: Ireland 19 – 12 Scotland at 53 minutes.” Mar 14, 15:28
James on Looking up at the stars: “He wisne frae Edinburgh ya fucking unionist clown.” Mar 14, 15:28
twathater on Looking up at the stars: “As usual poor wee hatey nae pals has to have a go at elderly Scots people who have paid their…” Mar 14, 15:05
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: ““every accusation is a confession” Erm. Nah. Don’t tell him.” Mar 14, 14:28
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “The original Roman calendar was based on the lunar cycle. The Ides was the first full moon of the month.…” Mar 14, 14:25
Confused on Looking up at the stars: “The london regime is an illegitimate terrorist junta by any decent standards of normal human behaviour, operating as an organised…” Mar 14, 14:07
Sven on Looking up at the stars: “How applicable to Scotland if one subscribes to colonial theory, and apposite also on the eve of the Ides of…” Mar 14, 13:37
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “The Ides of March arrive tomorrow… I wonder if anyone has told Trump what that means. Et tu, Hegseth?” Mar 14, 13:17
Dan on Looking up at the stars: “Wings killed itself because it continued to allow obvious disruptors to piss pretty much everyone off btl to the point…” Mar 14, 11:54
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: ““…if the metric is posting repetitive unhinged drivel then your team wins…” You are funny, AI Dan… for an artificial…” Mar 14, 11:11
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “Would you look at that! Naw e’en haufway thru the day and us liberty lovin Scots seekin oor liberty frae…” Mar 14, 10:59
Aidan on Looking up at the stars: “Oh no doubt Northcode, if the metric is posting repetitive unhinged drivel then your team wins the gold! Obviously it’s…” Mar 14, 10:57
diabloandco on Looking up at the stars: “Thanks Turabdin – that’s a brilliant quote.” Mar 14, 09:39
Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: ““it’s becoming a bore” Ach, Northy, you’ve brought a fleeting smile to my slow, weekend breakfast. Alert readers can clearly…” Mar 14, 08:54
Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “Maistly a surfeit o humour-free, tantersome, bauch and cat wittit colonist remerks in here yesterdey… which be hou maistlins nane…” Mar 14, 08:27